Pegging & the Patriarchy

Did you know that women aren't the only people who have G-spots? That's right, men have one too? Often referred to as the P-spot, the prostate is a highly sensitive area in the man's body that can give him orgasms that are said to be three times as intense as the standard guy's vanilla sex climax. Here's the thing...you can only access it through their ass.  NBD! Pegging is a sex act that is becoming more and more popular among the heterosexual populations and the Locker Room Talk & Shots women have nothing but good things to say about it.

This episode eviscerates homophobic myths about pegging that are perpetuated by the patriarchy. That's right, we think that a guy who is into pegging isn't just masculine as hell, he's downright romantic...and that's hot. Find out why women get off on donning a strapon and fucking their men. From how you can start a conversation around pegging with your partner to what you'll need to get started and techniques that work best along the way, we cover it all.

Before you cue up this episode of Locker Room Talk & Shots, make sure to make yourself The Spicy Buttcrack.  Locker Room Talk & Shots Hostess, Annette, tried her hand at mixology and

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Chapters

• 0:47 Exploring Pegging and Patriarchy
• 19:34 Communication in Butt Play in Relationships
• 36:43 Approach and Preparation for Pegging
• 45:13 Sexy Time Furniture and Equipment
• 49:50 Exploring Pegging and Intimacy

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:47

Hi, this is Annette Finnadetti, your hostess for a locker room talk, and shots the podcast that likes to think of itself as the queer NPR of raunchy women's sex talk. You are about to sit in on the kind of conversations women have on their girls' nights out or behind closed doors, while enjoying delicious drinks and dishing about sex, think, fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy, one orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's locker room talk topic is pegging and the patriarchy. That's right, we're talking about pegging today and I've got my guests Deanna and Lucy here. Our guest, deanna, who's here today, actually was part of the episode, the first episode of season two, which was about moms who like to bang, moms who like to fuck not milfs, but moms who actually like to get dirty in the sack, right, deanna? Oh, yes, it was a fun conversation.

Speaker 2: 2:01

It was so fun.

Speaker 1: 2:03

And Lucy, lucy, who is best known as the maybe not best known, but is known to our listeners. The look she gave me. Who is known to our listeners as the Russian dominatrix. This is a perfect topic for you. And what is? What's your favorite episode? You've been on in the past, lucy.

Speaker 3: 2:25

I feel like they're all fantastic.

Speaker 1: 2:27

Right, right, toys, toys, toys is my favorite one. You've been on because you brought a spreadsheet of the toys.

Speaker 3: 2:36

Indeed, I brought some samples today as well. Yeah, or pictures for future.

Speaker 1: 2:43

So the shot for today's episode is the spicy butt crack and it tastes like Halloween. It is a damn good drink, if I do say so myself. It is a locker room talk and shot special. That's right. I did a lot of research and this cocktail is a twist on one I found, and it's a locker room talk and shots podcast special, and you can find the recipe if you head over to our website at lockerroomtalkpodcastcom, where all of our episodes and all of our recipes are posted.

Speaker 1: 3:25

Let's raise our glasses, guys. Ready for the spicy butt crack? Let's do this. Let's talk about pegging Delicious. It is so good, surprisingly delicious, surprisingly delicious and strong, so we'll be careful with it today. One of the first things that I think we need to address about pegging is what it is before we launch into our conversation. So you guys can tell me if you agree. I researched ahead of time and pegging it seems to specifically, for the most part, refer to sex between heterosexual couples, where the woman wears a strap on and penetrates the male's anus in an act of sex. Where are the woman basically fucks a man via their back end, their butthole.

Speaker 3: 4:27

You know sex with a strap on? Yes.

Speaker 1: 4:31

But between and between heterosexual people, or I mean I could see it bisexual, but it's, it's not.

Speaker 3: 4:38

Yes, the woman is wielding the penis and the gentleman is taking the penis, taking the penis right, all right, all right.

Speaker 1: 4:49

So there you go, guys, guys go, that's. That's in case you're wondering what pegging is, that is your definition 101 pegging very clean and clear. Yes, I think I just want to do a little round, quick round table. Maybe each of you can take a turn, talk a tiny bit about your experience pegging and how you feel about it. Let's start with you, deanna. Are you an?

Speaker 2: 5:16

experienced pegger. I mean, I don't know if I call myself a professional, but I have had experience pegging. I almost think it might have been more enjoyable for me than them the person you pegged Because it gave a whole new sense of empowerment. Yeah, like having full control. I think sometimes when we have sex with men, even if they say they're giving us control, there's still that feel of kind of that male domination, right, and I think with pegging there's no way they can take any control of it, like you are fully in control, right, right, with their consent.

Speaker 2: 6:06

Of course, of course, with their consent Right.

Speaker 1: 6:10

So, lucy, I assume you've done it more than once.

Speaker 3: 6:13

Yes, Time, or two or twenty, or over the years, many times, many times. But yes, I agree with Deanna, I think it is such an empowering activity that it is almost like it kind of blows your mind you're in such control and it's so just exhilarating.

Speaker 1: 6:38

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 6:39

To do it and it's not even the pleasure necessarily of it. It's definitely the mental pleasure of it, not so much the physical, obviously, because you're not actually really getting anywhere right when you, when you peg someone, unless you have one of those fancy strap ons that also attaches a Hitachi magic one to it, and it's so much more fun.

Speaker 1: 7:05

So I should be transparent. Now you know the expertise of our guests. I have never officially pegged a man, a partner. I have definitely participated in, but stuff which will be another podcast but I have never donned the dick and dove in all the way. So I'm actually excited about this podcast and I have my own questions. But in my research I did find that there were strap ons that included like powerful vibration for her pleasure while she was giving is giving him pleasure, right?

Speaker 1: 7:46

So none of us have tried that yet. Yes, yes, you have.

Speaker 2: 7:50

So the harness I had actually or I still have has a pocket for a bullet, yeah, for a bullet.

Speaker 1: 8:00

Nice, all right, here's a question that comes to my mind right away. So everyone at the table is bi correct. Correct, we're all bisexual women. Cheers to bisexual women. Cheers to that Cheers. So then, how would you say, does the equipment differ from the strap on experience with another woman versus like? Are they the same? Strap on Stianna's nodding.

Speaker 2: 8:27

Well, honestly, I don't the. I think the bullet really doesn't come in play when pegging, I mean you don't usually use the bullet on yourself and I think it has.

Speaker 2: 8:37

Like Lucy said, it has a lot to do with. It's more about kind of that mental stimulation rather than physical. It's a whole. It's a power play, yeah, like with a woman. It's about more the physical pleasure. I mean there's always some mental like. I always have to have some mental turn on whenever I'm with anyone, but with pegging I actually prefer pegging a man, I prefer not having the vibration Interesting Lucy.

Speaker 3: 9:14

Definitely the mental high that you get from just doing it is lovely, but also when you do have an orgasm while pegging, my partner finds that exceptionally exciting, so that is more for them as well. Right, just be like just the fact that I can get off while pegging them Right. It's just so exciting for them as well. So also a mental thing.

Speaker 1: 10:43

Yeah. So I guess my bringing up like the difference between penetrating a woman and penetrating a man is kind of an off question, because the power play dynamic with a man is absent when you have the strap on with a woman. Do you see what I'm trying to wrap my mind around? I'm trying to differentiate pegging a man from using a strap on.

Speaker 3: 11:10

Yeah, it's not the same at all, because with a woman you're not. There is no power play necessarily, unless it might have been agreed upon previously, but it's definitely. People are in it for the pleasure and the excitement of the activity. Where it's, for pegging situations and it's definitely more a power dynamic that you were looking for.

Speaker 1: 11:31

Between heterosexual couple Correct. This is how it kind of becomes like a very heterosexual activity For sure, which is one thing like I really wanted to and why I've named this podcast. Pegging in the patriarchy is.

Speaker 1: 11:49

As I was doing my research, I learned some really cool stuff, and I think by and large people are aware that men have a prostate that is very sensitive. I don't think people understand, though it's often throughout at least the literature I was reading it's equated to being the equivalent of the woman's G spot for a man. So I found that fascinating. But the thing that I found super sad about it is that there is a misconception and a myth that if a man wants to be pegged or be anally penetrated, it means he's gay or bi or flexible, which is not at all true, and so it keeps a lot of men from being willing to be vulnerable enough to participate in pegging, which then means they don't get to experience an orgasm via their G spot. And I mean it's such an interesting light to shine on how the patriarchy, which is inherently not only racist but homophobic, keeps even men from fully enjoying their sex life and feeling comfortable in who they are, who they are in bed and what they want in bed.

Speaker 3: 13:24

For sure I definitely have. Also, like I guess I was lucky to have a companion who is so adventurous in all the things that we do in the bedroom. But yes, I feel like a lot of the time men are so concerned about their the power dynamic, like they do not want to lose the power and yet Because they think it's emasculating.

Speaker 3: 13:54

Exactly. But yet I am on quite a few Reddit subgroups and all these men on there were like, yes, please, someone, anyone. I would like somebody to peg me and I would like somebody to a woman to give my power away to so I can be vulnerable and be on the receiving part of all sorts of attention. That is considered non-masculine Right, but it is. It's completely masculine, absolutely. I feel like there's nothing more empowering than to give the power away, like the fact that you are so trusting of whoever you are engaging in interactions with that you are willing to just surrender to the activity or the.

Speaker 2: 14:41

It is empowering but at least it should be, and I think, you know, something that's equated with masculinity is bravery, and I think there's nothing more braver than being vulnerable.

Speaker 3: 14:55

Right.

Speaker 2: 14:56

Like that takes a lot of courage, and so that's absolutely. Why wouldn't that be masculine to do?

Speaker 1: 15:04

Right.

Speaker 2: 15:05

Like that's the utmost bravery you can show is being as vulnerable as you can as a man. I love that.

Speaker 1: 15:13

I love that perspective. I think the other thing that I came across during which resonated with me though I have not pegged, I've definitely had partners that have been open to being penetrated during our interaction together and it is like there is something women are kind of expected to be vulnerable, obviously, to men allowing you know these heterosexual relationships, allowing them to enter you, and oftentimes, in the heterosexual dynamic, the man's expected to be dominant, the woman's expected to be submissive and like hand over control, and that is like this act, that is a vulnerability that bonds a couple. Right Handing over this trust to a man. But why would it not be the same in reverse right To have a man hand over you know, trust and be vulnerable with you. It intensifies your connection and your love for one another. So I would even say, I would venture to say and it's gonna blow some people's mind that pegging is fucking romantic. Ooh, cheers to that.

Speaker 1: 16:33

Masking and romantic. Not that I have fully experienced it again, but I have goals, hashtag goals, here. So another interesting thing I found out is that every person, regardless of gender, has thousands of nerve endings in their anus, the contract and release in pleasure every time you orgasm. When you orgasm, your little sphincter is working overtime down there. All of us women, men, guys. If you are a man who is heterosexual and you're just like no way.

Speaker 1: 17:16

Uh-oh, my ass holes out only. All right, that's fine, but your little butt hole it says different every time you orgasm. That old guy is like come on, get me some attention. I thought that was a really interesting fact there it is. So cheers to the happy orgasming anus. Aw, little happy butt hole, old guy, old guy, mm. So here's something fun In our Facebook group, lock Room Talk and Shots Happy Hour, our members get to ask us questions when they know that a podcast is coming up and we let them know that we were going to be talking about pegging. And we have a member, liberty, who has several questions and we're going to choose a couple that we feel like should be answered by us on this podcast. So, deanna, can you read off maybe one of your top questions that you think we should be answering here?

Speaker 2: 18:26

How about? How do I know if he's interested in it?

Speaker 1: 18:29

That's a great question. You are in a relationship with a guy and you've been going down on him and maybe 69ing and like moving your fingers towards that butt hole. Maybe he lets you touch it, maybe he lets you get a little tip in, and you're kind of like, hey, I want to take this to the next level, if you haven't spoken about pegging in advance, like how would you guys start to approach it and what do you suggest?

Speaker 3: 18:57

You should speak about it in advance.

Speaker 1: 18:59

Yeah, yeah, before you're in bed, before you're together, like when in a relationship, let's say in a relationship, heterosexual relationship at what point do you bring up butt?

Speaker 2: 19:10

sex. Well, I think when because you know what at first in a relationship sex is kind of you're feeling each other out Not everybody is up front with these, are my kinks sort of yours so you kind of like push limits with each other each time. But I think it's not a conversation to have during the act. But maybe if you're like I'm going to explore in 69in, you do a little butt play and you notice that he doesn't stop and say what are you doing?

Speaker 1: 19:49

He just goes with it, or those knees drop just a little farther apart.

Speaker 2: 19:53

I mean so after that encounter you can say so, did you like that? Like talk about it, say that was something new I did, how did you feel about it? Would you be up for exploring it further? Like you can start the conversation that way, but it's definitely not something you know in the moment to whip out your harness and go, hey, you know, or do and deal with the fallout you may.

Speaker 3: 20:20

As they run from the door, it's like come back. It's pink, I don't know Right.

Speaker 2: 20:28

I mean, if you don't want to be brave and kind of explore, you can have a conversation when you should always be talking to your partner about what feels good to them and you can say you know, use the fact that you were given on this podcast. You know, I was. I heard this podcast and it said did you know that when you come, that you have all of these thousands and thousands of nerves and then that can start your conversations? Then go, you know, how do you feel about exploring that?

Speaker 1: 21:02

Yeah, look, what we're trying to say is blame it on us, say I got tied up. Seems legit, yes In this fucking weird podcast with these like really weird, like kinky women and they were bringing this thing up. How do you find me like? How do you feel?

Speaker 3: 21:18

about it, blame it on us. Also, you can just listen to the podcast with your companion as a precursor to your activity. Check out this podcast I'm listening to. Join me Right, yes, right, and then you can discuss it later and see if any of you are into this activity.

Speaker 1: 22:40

But yeah, so here's Chiris, to just learning how to conversate with your lover.

Speaker 2: 22:45

Chiris for communication Very important.

Speaker 1: 22:47

Very important, all right. So here's a good question that kind of comes off of that, that topic that Liberty brought up. What if Because I've definitely been like early on in relationships with a guy and you kind of play with, like bringing up butt stuff, and they are just, you know, seem very closed off to it and you just want to be able to explore more Do you think that you can push that conversation, push those boundaries in a way that allows your partner to be more open? Or do you think, like when they put up that like no, it's just like no I mean, because you know that a lot of that has to do with the brainwashing of the patriarchy is saying like Ask them why Like, why, why?

Speaker 2: 23:39

Why do you not want to explore this biological fact that there is pleasure there for you, right and hopefully?

Speaker 1: 23:50

Get curious, get curious.

Speaker 2: 23:53

They're in a trusting relationship with you where they can say, well, I mean, I'm not gay. And then you can say, well, it doesn't mean you're gay, it means that you are seeking pleasure, which is a human right. Right, we all are seeking pleasure. I love that.

Speaker 3: 24:13

For sure I recommend buying but plugs to start and then saying, hey, I have two of these, we should both try them and see where that goes.

Speaker 2: 24:27

Oh, all right.

Speaker 3: 24:28

Make it a couple of community activity. Throw one there, throw one there, see where that goes, but plugs everywhere.

Speaker 1: 24:37

One everywhere, one everywhere. You and you and you. It's like Oprah, yes.

Speaker 3: 24:42

Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 24:44

I like that idea.

Speaker 3: 24:45

So buy one in a funky color just for fun with these rainbow.

Speaker 1: 24:48

Can I put my vote in for suggestions for beginner butt plugs Glass gradual. There are glass butt plugs that have sort of a gradual. They're longer and they gradually get wider at the base. Holy shit, and Lucy just pulled out what?

Speaker 2: 25:11

That's a nugget.

Speaker 1: 25:11

Soft squishy butt plug. This is interesting.

Speaker 3: 25:16

It's good for men, it's for menly, men butt plug Because the curvature of it you'll see a picture on the wherever you Hits the magical prostate spot, and thus makes it more awesome.

Speaker 1: 25:30

So right now, gripped firmly, being squeezed in my hand, is interesting. Maybe I need to. Is that like a stress ball? Yeah, it's like a stress ball. I am holding a butt plug. I've never seen one like this before. I've seen one like that that it feels like a stress ball. It's quite, quite girthy, but sure, this is medium, medium, yeah, jesus. So we will post pictures of these butt plugs that Lucy has brought that are. There's a variety. The one that I'm holding is squishy here, deanna you take it.

Speaker 2: 26:19

I'm going to take yours.

Speaker 1: 26:20

Oh yeah. And then there's one, oh see. And then there's a black one that is actually firmer. These are short and what I like about them is they have a handle you can really grip to pull and how it when you need to. The final butt plug that I'm now holding I now have two in my hands. It's a rainbow butt plug, which I like, although for men who really don't want to identify as anything but straight, this might be a bad choice and it's sort of gradual, but it's also a little. It's softer than the glass ones. I'm suggesting so, but plugs are a nice entry into eventually no pun intended To eventually pegging correct. Is that what I assume? Is that why?

Speaker 3: 27:08

Yeah. Yeah, you start with butt plugs and and then see if that is an acceptable activity and then you go from there.

Speaker 1: 27:16

Right, right, I assume that. And again, I've never pegged. I assume that the what do you call? The pin? It do penetration part of the pegging, so you've got the. So when you peg like a dildo, Is it a dildo? Do we call it that? It's a different name so that men feel more comfortable.

Speaker 2: 27:37

No, it's a dildo.

Speaker 1: 27:39

It's just a dildo. Yes, so the dildo part of the pegging. Oh, there's a small one.

Speaker 2: 27:45

Do you have a bigger one?

Speaker 1: 27:47

Lucy has pulled out some dildos that would go on your strap on. And then you know, and look, here's the thing, this is cool. Always want more dicks. One should always want more dicks, for sure, but what I think is really got dicks falling everywhere. What's really cool about the two dildos I have in each of my hands is one does not look like a penis, and I would think for some men this would be far more comfortable. It just looks like kind of a it's like a hot dog.

Speaker 1: 28:20

Fun fact, fun fact, guys. When I was young and grade school and we did sex education, I was in private Catholic school. During sex education, my mother decided to be the sex educator, which is hilarious Looking back. When asked by one of the young girls who was like, well, how does a penis look when it gets hard? Her response was it's kind of like a hot dog. So here is what I would say about one of the dildos I was holding in my hand it looks kind of like a hot dog, not at all like a dick, which might be more comfortable for you. So you know what Cheers to to butt plugs and dildos.

Speaker 3: 29:07

So many of them now. So many, all right.

Speaker 1: 29:10

Moving on, what is a Liberty had some other good questions. I mean, she really, she really came in hard with a list of questions that were all important.

Speaker 2: 29:21

Oh, what if he has hemorrhoids? That is a good question.

Speaker 1: 29:29

Don't do it. Oh, can you Lucy Nothing.

Speaker 3: 29:37

Did not have that experience yet.

Speaker 2: 29:39

I mean, I haven't. I haven't had that experience, but thinking about anal sex right and hemorrhoids.

Speaker 1: 29:49

Have you had hemorrhoids? Well, you had anal sex, I have, so you can happen. You just have to really lubricate and be gentle and maybe choose a much smaller. I mean fortunately for the man, you can choose a smaller dildo.

Speaker 2: 30:08

I mean, I think with pegging it would just be, maybe go for the hot dog size toys yeah. Yeah, the smaller hot dog size.

Speaker 3: 30:17

Yeah, and so the dick shaped one yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:20

Yeah, smoother, less ridges.

Speaker 2: 30:23

And it's up to you know. If it's too uncomfortable, of course I would hope that they feel they could express that whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not working and then you just go on to other things. But it is possible with some finesse and care and lube.

Speaker 1: 30:42

Yeah, okay, that's great, that's great. So, hey guys, from the beginning of this podcast, I mean from its origins, from the first podcast, what have we said? Bring lube. So here's to lube, cheers to lube. It makes all the fun things possible, especially anal lube.

Speaker 3: 31:01

Don't use non anal lube.

Speaker 2: 31:03

Oh yes, Good point, Lucy.

Speaker 3: 31:06

Let's talk about lube. Let's talk about lube.

Speaker 1: 31:09

Take it away.

Speaker 3: 31:09

Lucy, so definitely find the most anal lube you can.

Speaker 1: 31:18

So what is anal? Is it a specific?

Speaker 3: 31:21

It is. Yeah, you can definitely buy it. It will say anal on the bottle. We actually have found anal lube that comes in a powder Powder, yeah, and then you mix it with water and then it pretty much turns into this viscous substance. That is amazing. It doesn't like go anywhere, it just kind of stays there, which is super nice.

Speaker 1: 31:48

So there's a water-based lube and there is silicone-based, basically, you want the thicker.

Speaker 3: 31:56

The thicker the better. The one that kind of stays there doesn't go anywhere and more is more.

Speaker 2: 32:03

More is more. But they do have specific lubes that are for anal plating. So it says anal lube.

Speaker 1: 32:12

All right guys, anal lube, that's how you get through hemorrhoids, and just maybe a tight butt. And sometimes a butt is tighter and sometimes it's looser. Right, it changes by the day a little bit. I mean, I'm just suspecting For sure. So being prepared for that kind of thing. So there you go, there's your answer to hemorrhoids. One thing I want to talk about I was a little bit surprised, so I have done a lot of research on women anal sex, like from a female's point of view, like how to receive it. And then I was looking up articles on pegging and here's something I found very interesting that wasn't I did not, at least in any of the articles about pegging that I read.

Speaker 1: 33:11

They didn't address prep or like. So in Articles that I've read about how to get ready for anal sex, how to do anal sex for a woman, there's always that like if you, if you don't want poop to be an issue, how to prepare your, your buttocks, which is primarily by doing an In advance, and this is not like a full-on in a, but, you know, like kind of a lower, like tracks, like clean out, so that you minimize the chance of being embarrassed by poop, because butts, typically, are used for poop when they're not being used for anal pleasure. Not and not one of the articles that I read and I read I looked through, you know, on that Whatever was ranking on the first page of Google, they didn't bring it up when it came to pegging.

Speaker 1: 34:10

That's unfortunate, I and I thought to myself well, that's interesting, I think, something that probably Men as well as women feel very self-conscious about, and what question that has to come up is what about poop?

Speaker 2: 34:25

I guess I'm not surprised that there isn't anything about how to prepare to be pegged, because once again, we're talking about the patriarchy we're talking about and we, as women, are always to prepare ourselves and we have to be clean. I'm pretty and pristine and men, you know what? If you pull out and some shit comes out, you just got to deal with it because I'm man, baby, yeah, I'm so. I mean honestly. That's why it's not surprising to me right that we don't have to have that same consideration we have to give.

Speaker 1: 35:05

Men seems essential. Yes, every article has something about lube, which is Right. That's like 101 stuff Mm-hmm, but I can't believe that men aren't as like, interested or concerned about, like that aspect of it. So I don't know, lucy, what are your thoughts on that? Is that something prior to pegging that that you and your partner worry about, or what are your thoughts?

Speaker 3: 35:35

I mean, my partner is very courteous and does prepare for all.

Speaker 1: 35:40

Oh right, activities, and that is just being courteous yeah and and it wouldn't.

Speaker 3: 35:44

I don't even think it would, didn't even occur to him to not do because that has not come up Right years is like, hey, we're doing stuff, I'm like alright. He's like alright, I'll go prepare. I was like that's so nice, thank you, I appreciate it. And you know right as you should, because, come on, just, you know, be courteous to your, your female companion, so she doesn't have to deal with.

Speaker 1: 36:11

Cheers to being courteous to your female companion.

Speaker 3: 37:01

Situation. But also towels are your friend, just in case how about?

Speaker 1: 37:07

yeah, because no matter how much you prepare, right you?

Speaker 2: 37:10

never know shit happens.

Speaker 1: 37:14

It does actually, but also.

Speaker 3: 37:16

Yeah, just the lube is always stickier and Things yeah, it's a mess yeah maybe Towels. Sex is messy guys sure it just is.

Speaker 1: 37:29

I think what would be really useful for listeners and people who are interested in pegging and curious about it is to talk about sort of the approach. Let's say you've been given the green light to like Give it a try and your guy is like you know, Clearly timid about it. He's like I'll give it a try, but he's like, if he about it, what are the steps that you would suggest in Preparing and entering, entering, preparing for entry preparing for entry.

Speaker 3: 38:07

Yes, good way to put it.

Speaker 1: 38:11

I Definitely think you should Prepare with the cleaning so you start with that, so you just talk to him about like that part of it, like I read, or this is what I do, before you fuck my ass. Because, let's be honest, guys, you know by the time you get to that your guys try to bang you in the butt at least once.

Speaker 3: 38:35

Right and then you. I mean it also inquires like how is your digestive health? Have you? Had a salad recently.

Speaker 1: 38:45

How about? When was the last time you had a ball move?

Speaker 3: 38:48

Yes, Exactly all these very important questions. So none of this is coinciding with your activity and then definitely I would say, you start with a butt plug to let everything. Get kind of used to the whole situation and you can start with a small, small one and then do you like, do you like jerk them off?

Speaker 1: 39:11

Will you put the butt plug in? Like, how about that? Like, here's a good question. Yeah, what about, like, how do you make it pleasurable right off the bat? Do you warm them up with a blowjob, do you? What have you guys done to get to that point where he's like, alright, he's stimulated enough. Because I know on myself, before I move into allowing someone to like get to my butt, I'm like you have to have me really turn on. And then I'm like Okay, let's play, let's explore what so, whatever I Mean, maybe I mean don't just go in cold right well, no, there's four.

Speaker 2: 39:52

I mean the way to think about it is think about, alright, when I'm going to be penetrated, aina Lee, what, what would I like? Do I want someone just to shove their dick in my ass or, you know, do I want to have some intimacy and, you know, a rousal and connection, and so I think four plays really important. And it I mean not necessarily give him a blowjob, because that might not be what he wants, like maybe just some passionate Making out might be enough to get them there. But you Just like with yourself, you know no cues, and if you don't know cues, ask, ask, like. That's the thing I think people miss out on a lot is they tend to be tight lipped during intimacy and really you should never stop communicating Like. You should always be communicating and you know so communicate like are you ready for that butt plug?

Speaker 1: 41:10

Wait do you put your strap on on prior to even starting, or is that something that happens during, like? Do you work up to putting it on after you know? Yeah, when do you put your strap on on?

Speaker 3: 41:28

It depends on the situation. Yeah, sometimes it is exciting to just have it on as a precursor, or in other times you put it on later, as your activity progresses, cause it is not necessarily the most comfortable thing to just kind of walk around in Right?

Speaker 1: 41:47

No, do you feel sexy wearing it? Yes, yes, you feel sexy wearing it, okay.

Speaker 3: 41:54

I mean, and if you have like a very nice gentleman, he might give you a your strap on a small blow job.

Speaker 1: 42:00

Well, wait, okay, can we?

Speaker 3: 42:02

talk about that. Can we cause?

Speaker 1: 42:03

I that is interesting, so tell me about that.

Speaker 3: 42:06

I think it's also a power dynamic play for sure, especially if you are doing that and having them kind of service you the same way you do for them. Yeah, especially if it's.

Speaker 2: 42:22

I mean, sometimes it's really for them about that being dominated thing, and so you know, when you tell them to suck your dick, that turns them on.

Speaker 1: 42:36

That's what you say to them, yeah.

Speaker 2: 42:37

Yes, okay, yeah, and it's Quite exciting. Yeah For everyone, for all parties involved.

Speaker 1: 42:45

The smiles on these women. I mean, that is something that I think that people don't realize is this is very exciting to women, like For sure If you are a heterosexual man and you have all sorts of weird feelings around this. Ultimately, I would think that what brings you the most pride and feeling masculine and like a good lover is when you get your woman off and excite her and like just watching you guys talk about it, like the smiles and like you know, it's clear, it's exciting and exciting experience.

Speaker 3: 43:24

And also, if your gentleman companion is still a little on the iffy side of the whole situation and doesn't necessarily want to be pounded, you can offer the option of a ride instead, where you can just be on the bottom and they can be on top of you and then they have a lot more control.

Speaker 1: 43:49

Rather than.

Speaker 2: 43:50

Okay, all right so positions.

Speaker 1: 43:51

We're getting Positions. Let's talk about, first of all, cheers to like women getting off on this. This is as much as how awesome is it for men to get off on it, but women just really getting off on it? So let's talk about positions. Obviously, I think the one that comes to mind first off is like doggy style, meaning the man this time has been to over and you're behind him. But what are some other positions you mentioned?

Speaker 3: 44:23

on top yes, just on top of writing the said penis that you provided or hot dog, whatever.

Speaker 2: 44:31

And you know that's a good starting position. Wait, which witches the top writing? Really that?

Speaker 3: 44:38

is not what I thought.

Speaker 2: 44:39

Because they can ease into it how they're comfortable, cause when you're behind it's really hard to tell exactly the comfort level. So if you start that way you might start a little too much, but if they are writing you they can kind of ease into that, and so I think that's the best starting position For sure.

Speaker 1: 45:02

Interesting, yeah, okay. So then what's another one that really has worked.

Speaker 3: 45:07

Yeah, just the bent over one definitely works. You obviously have to account for height. I recommend pillows or wedges, depending on if you have any sexy time furniture.

Speaker 1: 45:22

I assume you do have sexy time furniture.

Speaker 2: 45:27

I mean, I'm just gonna say not everybody has sexy time furniture.

Speaker 1: 45:30

Lucy, you should get it. It's great. Here's to sexy time furniture. May I have some Sundays.

Speaker 3: 45:40

Some thinking mention everything.

Speaker 2: 45:44

But yes.

Speaker 3: 45:47

Pillows to get your height to the correct height. Definitely inquire how they're feeling. You can also do it kind of mission position with them. I mean obviously the normal way up. I also do like the edge of the bed for that one, because my bed is a good height, so it's quite convenient, explain that.

Speaker 1: 46:11

What do you mean? Edge of the bed? I cannot.

Speaker 3: 46:13

So you are standing and they are on the edge of the bed. Also perhaps stretch your glutes, ladies, oh yes.

Speaker 1: 46:22

This is quite a workout, so pegging is quite a workout.

Speaker 3: 46:28

Very much so yes.

Speaker 2: 46:30

Everything. Let me tell you my first time I was up there.

Speaker 3: 46:34

No, yeah, like hips can lock, like you can get injured, you feel like super mindful of what you're trying to do.

Speaker 1: 46:45

So the perk? Another perk for men is that women have the opportunity to see what you guys go through, what kind of workout you guys go through when you are banging us and we expect you to go harder, faster. Wait, don't come yet. I wanna go longer, exactly.

Speaker 3: 47:07

Slow down.

Speaker 1: 47:09

And suddenly we are in that position and we're like holy, you're back, you're lower back. I mean, I only know this from wearing a strap on with one hand.

Speaker 3: 47:16

Your abs are on fire.

Speaker 1: 47:18

That's a good workout.

Speaker 3: 47:19

Yeah, can't walk the step. The stairs are like ridiculous.

Speaker 2: 47:23

Your thighs are on fire.

Speaker 3: 47:25

For sure, but yeah, so those are some of the positions. Yet again, height depending, you can do just against the wall or, if you have a yoga swing, those are fun too, all right go Back to the second furniture, what I have, a yoga swing. It's totally for yoga.

Speaker 1: 47:49

You don't do yoga, uh-huh.

Speaker 3: 47:53

I mean sexy time, yoga, same, thing, and then help me out here. I think I got my stuff I mean she's like wait, I'll write these down, Hold on.

Speaker 2: 48:07

She surpassed me. Yeah, I am yeah.

Speaker 1: 48:11

One of the fun facts about Lucy we kind of mentioned before and I do think I still have a video of it is Lucy has a sex equipment spreadsheet. If you see it on her computer you have to scroll. It's forever. It's 140. It's way more than that, no, so probably between 100 something, Something yeah. She has quite. So she, because she has so many toys, she just drank that drink. I'm drinking to Lucy's spreadsheet. That spreadsheet, just like all the equipment, I'm so jealous.

Speaker 3: 48:49

Also for back to penises really quickly and lube also really quickly. The Bad Dragon it is actually a website that sells quote unquote dragon penises, mostly because they're just funky shaped, but one of the things that comes in all colors, on quite a few sizes, up to ridiculous, which I think, is this big.

Speaker 1: 49:14

When she says this big, it's like she's looking at two feet. I think it's a foot Foot okay, don't buy that one.

Speaker 3: 49:20

But some of their penises come with a com tube in the penis, which is actually quite nice for anal sex because you can administer more lube. Oh genius.

Speaker 1: 49:41

Yes, all right.

Speaker 3: 49:42

To the procedure.

Speaker 1: 49:43

Like Diana gets it right away. I'm like what? So talk me through this.

Speaker 3: 49:51

Lucy. So there is a pretty much it's trying to simulate like a coming of a like you can't Penis, yes, except for a woman. But there's just a tube in the middle of the dildo which you can use a syringe to add more lube, as the penis is inside wherever.

Speaker 1: 50:16

Do you like? You put it how do you get it to ejaculate? Are there balls full of lube or like, whether you squeeze or what?

Speaker 3: 50:25

Unfortunately it's not that cool of a feature, but it comes with a syringe so you can just add it as you go. Ok, yeah, so it's not, I don't know. Yeah, I'll have to look at it, I'm curious. It's definitely a need feature, because sometimes your companion is like hey, need some more lube and instead of just removing everything and adding more lube, and then you working it back in. And just throw some lube as you go.

Speaker 1: 50:54

Yeah, I mean, maybe that's one thing too to mention is that during anal sex, just yanking the dick out or the whatever dildo out and putting it back in is it's not a quick thing you do. You have to be very gentle For sure About both removing, and so I think that's something to be aware of is this is a gentle activity at first, at least until you both get to know what works for you and is safe. You can hurt your partner doing this?

Speaker 1: 51:29

Oh for sure, oh yes, by being careless and I cannot express that enough whether anal sex through pegging is woman too, man, which I think it's a little bit more dangerous in the sense that we don't have penises. We don't regularly insert our said cocks into someone, so there is a little bit of like. Get to know what that feels like If you're not bisexual, like all of us are, so we have experienced strap-on sex with a woman. If you have never had strap-on sex and you don't know, like how to insert yourself, being like obviously not a real bodily appendage into someone else, like it is something you need to take time with. Learn what works for your partner and, especially if you're like at the first time with your guy and he hasn't had anal play before, you have to be very careful because you can tear and hurt, just as can happen to a woman.

Speaker 2: 52:37

And you don't have like that flesh with feeling so you can sense kind of what's going on in there because, you know, when someone tenses up, yeah, they can, and they're like, oh, are you okay?

Speaker 1: 52:54

Right.

Speaker 2: 52:55

You don't have that ability to go. Oh, are you okay, because you feel some tensing to check in. So you really have to be checking in and being very aware of other cues they may give you.

Speaker 3: 53:08

And also just make sure your partner realizes that he can stop you at any point and have him understand that, hey, I have no feeling in this fake penis that I am wielding and you need to make sure that you are always okay and nothing is hurting or anything like that. You need to make sure I stop or whatever. It might be Okay, slow or fast or whatever, just always communicate.

Speaker 1: 53:39

So this is a topic that we can literally talk for days about, and we'll have to do a part two, three and four, probably, about it, but I want to end with surprising things you learned from pegging, like when you got into or maybe when you first. What are some things you didn't expect. What are? We already mentioned the workout, but are there any other experiences that came from it that you're just like wow, that surprises me. D'amma.

Speaker 2: 54:11

I think what was most surprising was how hard the mental stimulation was, how hard it was, how hard it was, like it was a I mean I don't mean like difficult, hard, but impactful, like the force of it. Because, you know, I was like, oh, I'm doing this for him and I just thought it was something that I wasn't really going to get much out of. But that was okay, because what I was getting out of it was giving this to my partner who was wanting the experience, but I almost think I might have gotten just as much or more pleasure out of it. And it was purely like it wasn't really physical, like there was nothing really happening to me, but yet I still came and I felt a feeling I've never felt before. You've bor it. Yeah, it was the most amazing feeling, like and, to be clear, it didn't make you feel like your partner was any less masculine.

Speaker 1: 55:23

Let's be really clear about that. Absolutely not, but I felt very empowered.

Speaker 2: 55:31

I've never felt that much empowerment and intimacy before. What about you, Lucy? What are?

Speaker 3: 55:42

I had a similar experiences as you did, diana, and it was like just blows your mind. But also another thing I find very interesting is the fact that when your partner is in a relationship with you and when your partner does have an orgasm as being penetrated, as I understand and have been told it's like three times more amazing than the regular orgasm that you get, because that was via their G-spot, or what?

Speaker 1: 56:17

is also called the P-spot.

Speaker 3: 56:20

I think that that is probably a small incentive for all you people who don't necessarily are not quite sold on the whole situation yet. But, as I was told, the orgasms are at least three times more intense.

Speaker 1: 56:35

So can I ask you guys this how often do men come, oftentimes while being penetrated? Is that a common thing, like them coming during anal penetration?

Speaker 3: 56:51

At least for us. You need some stimulation of the penis as well.

Speaker 1: 56:57

And do you do that at the same time? Do you ever like read, read?

Speaker 3: 57:00

Yeah, for now, or if they are writing you it's a lot easier or if your boobs are big enough, you just kind of throw it in the boobs section, Deanna.

Speaker 1: 57:11

I would not do that. I have nothing for you. Oh, that's okay. So I was going to ask you some different ways to stimulate the penis, but so you just threw that out there. If they are on top, then you can use your hands or you do the reach around. Yeah, yes, definitely.

Speaker 2: 57:28

Or even like a vibrating cock ring. Oh yeah, that works, oh on them. And then you don't have to do any work.

Speaker 1: 57:35

You just slap it on there. I wouldn't slap it on, I'd slide it on.

Speaker 1: 57:41

Slide it on there. Yes, bravo, bravo, all right, here is to pegging guys. Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers. If I didn't want to do it before, I definitely do now. We're going to wind this down. Here's what I want to say. We are, as soon as we're done here, going. I'm going to dig through Lucy's bag of trip tricks. I'm going to take pictures. We're going to post them so you can kind of see what some of this equipment looks like. However, if you want to see those pictures and videos or any extras, you're going to have to go to Facebook and you are going to have to join our group, which is Locker Room Talk and Shots Happy Hour. You can find it at our Facebook Locker Room Talk and Shots podcast. You can also head over to our Instagram page, which is Locker Room Talk and Shots, just to follow us there. We post some fun extras as we go along. If you want to access our podcast or try some of our yummy recipes for yourself, you need to head over to our website, which is LockerRoomTalkPodcastcom.

Speaker 1: 59:01

If you have questions, comments, a topic you want us to cover, or you just want to be part of the conversation, maybe a guest email me, annette A-N-N-E-T-T-E at SheExploresLifecom. Send me a message. I'm ready to chat with you. I want your feedback Good, bad, whatever you have to say, I'm interested to find out If you want some more fun reading material. Head over to SheExploresLifecom. Locker Room. Talk and Shots is powered by SheExploresLifecom. We've got columns like being Bisexual, definitely Gay lots of great sex-centered articles that give you tons of information. Until next time we'll see you in the locker room.

Speaker 3: 59:58

Cheers.

Speaker 1: 1:00:06

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