Do This for 5 Minutes a Day — And Sex Stops Feeling Like Work

When sex starts feeling like work, it’s not because desire is broken.

It’s because the body has learned to brace.

In this episode, I teach a five-minute pleasure practice that helps the body relax out of performance mode and back into genuine arousal — without pressure, goals, or trying to “make” anything happen.

This is the exact kind of practice I’ll be guiding inside 365 Days of Orgasms, my upcoming daily pleasure journey for 2026.

You’ll learn:

• Why many women stop wanting sex even when attraction is still there
• How goal-oriented touch shuts arousal down
• The nervous-system reason sex starts to feel draining instead of nourishing
• A simple, repeatable five-minute practice you can do solo or with a partner
• How steady, non-demanding touch helps desire return naturally
• Why this approach trains partners to become better lovers without learning more “moves”

This practice is especially powerful if sex has started to feel heavy, pressured, or avoidable — or if you’ve noticed pulling away, shutting down, or feeling disconnected when erotic touch begins.

You’ll also hear how this work becomes the foundation for deeper pleasure, internal arousal, emotional release, and embodied connection inside 365 Days of Orgasms — a year-long invitation to explore pleasure without pressure.

No performance.
 No fixing.
 Just five minutes of touch the body can actually receive.

👉 Follow here, subscribe to the podcast, and visit my website to stay close as the 365 journey begins here: https://talksexwithannette.com/365-days-of-orgasms/

Because pleasure doesn’t come from trying harder.
 It comes from learning how to stay.

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https://www.youtube.com/@talksexwithannette

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Join me on OnlyFans →https://talksexwithannette.com/ta

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Chapters

• 1:30 New Name, Same Unfiltered Space
• 2:21 Why Sex Starts To Feel Like Work
• 3:08 Introducing 365 Days Of Orgasms
• 4:10 Where To Find Guides And Coaching
• 4:48 The Five-Minute Pleasure Reset
• 7:16 Choose One Erogenous Zone
• 8:04 Predictable Touch And Consent
• 9:38 Breathe To Deepen Arousal
• 10:16 Let Desire Build Without Goals
• 12:06 Ending The Practice And Debrief
• 13:33 What Improves With Daily Practice
• 14:56 Join The Yearlong Pleasure Journey
• 15:24 Keep In Touch And Next Steps

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:46

I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast formerly known as Locker Room Talk and Shots. The show has a new name, Talk Sex with Annette. But at its core, this is still your locker room. It's where we strip away shame, get curious, and speak the unspoken about sex, kink, dating, pleasure, and desire. Around here, nothing's off limits. These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats, our most trusted friends, and of course, the women's locker room. Think raw, honest, and sometimes unapologetically raunchy. If you've been here from the beginning, thank you. And if you're new, welcome to my podcast where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power. Now, let's talk about sex. Cheers. Right, Low. Today's talk Sex within It How-To Topic is how to make sex stop feeling like work for her with a pleasure practice that takes just five minutes a day. Look, if you and your partner are having less sex or no sex, you're not alone. Research shows that many women begin avoiding partnered sex not because they don't like sex, but because it starts to feel like work, not relaxed, not nourishing, but like something they have to do. Sex starts to feel like work when there's pressure to respond, pressure to orgasm, or pressure to make it worth it for someone else. And when that happens, the body doesn't open, it braces. I'm about to launch something for the new year called 365 Days of Orgasms. It's not a challenge and it's not something I'm doing alone. It is a daily pleasure practice I'm inviting you into. And before I tell you about it or how to join it, I want to gift you, if you will, one very specific technique from this journey that changes why sex feels like effort in the first place. It's a taste of the journey for you to experience for yourself. Because listen, when sex feels like work, especially for her, it's rarely about chemistry. It's about how touch is happening, how fast it's moving, and how much pressure the body is experiencing on many different levels. So let me show you a five-minute, very specific practice you can do solo or with a partner that retrains the body to experience sex's pleasure again, not obligation. But before we dive in, I want to remind you that you can find me over on OnlyFans, and there I'm sharing even more explicit how-tos, demos, audio guided self-pleasure meditations, and so much more, including an opportunity to get a taste of my sex and intimacy coaching, because you can ask me those one-off questions you've been wanting answered over there. And you can find me there and on Substack where I'm doing a whole lot of the same with the handle at Talk Sex within it. You can also scroll down to the notes below and you're gonna find links to everywhere you want to find me and join me there. And I can't wait to see you there in the new year. For now, let's dive in to this five-minute technique that's gonna make her want more sex in 2026. And isn't that a great way to start the year? Cheers. So let's talk about why sex starts feeling like work in the first place. Here's what research on arousal and the nervous system shows us. Sex stops feeling good when the body is being asked to perform instead of experience. So when touch becomes goal-oriented and feels like it's being told to respond, stay aroused, orgasm, make this experience successful, the body shifts into evaluation mode. It's asking itself things like is this working? Am I reacting the right way? Am I taking too long? When touch becomes goal-oriented, she starts feeling like she needs to respond, she needs to stay aroused, she needs to orgasm, she needs to make this experience successful. So her body shifts into evaluation mode and it starts thinking things like is this working? Am I reacting the right way? Am I taking too long? And I know if you are a woman or a person with a vulva out there, that is something that's gonna resonate with you. And that mental monitoring, it pulls the body right out of sensation and into effort, into work mode. And effort is the opposite of arousal. So when sex feels like work, the issue isn't that there isn't enough stimulation. The issue is that the body never gets the chance to settle into sensation, which means the fix is not more intensity. The fix is slower, more predictable, and more intentional touch, the kind that the nervous system can relax into. So now it's time to get into the technique I promised I would teach you. This is a five-minute pleasure reset. It's designed to take sex out of performance mode and bring the body back into sensation mode. You can do this alone or with a partner. You should be in a private, comfortable space, lying down or slightly reclined. You want your body to be supported and not holding itself up. So think bed, couch, or on a padded surface, but definitely not standing or rushing. Step one is choosing an erogenous zone. Choose one of the following: the inner thighs, the mons pubis, which is the mound right above the vulva, the outer vulva and labia. We are not doing any kind of penetration here, the lower belly just below the navel, and you can also choose the chest or breasts, including the space around them, not just the nipples. So, why these areas? They are connected to rasal pathways without immediately triggering performance or climax pressure. These zones wake the body up slowly and deeply. But remember, you got to choose one. Do not switch zones, do not escalate, stay with just one. Step two is touch with consent. We're talking about unhurried contact. You're gonna choose one type of touch and keep it steady. You could choose slow, broad circles, you could choose gentle rhythmic strokes in one direction. You could even choose consistent tapping pressure with minimal movement, no teasing, no speeding up, no changing patterns. So why does this matter? The nervous system relaxes when it can predict what's happening. Predictability creates safety. Safety allows arousal to deepen. When touch is steady, the body stops tracking what's coming next and sensation gets louder. And we want it real loud. Here's a bonus if a partner is joining you. This actually trains partners to be great lovers. So, for partners, this is practice doing something incredibly important. It's training you to become a good lover, not by learning more moves, but by learning how to stay when sensation is building. Most people speed up, change rhythm, or escalate the movement when arousal appears because they think that that's what they're supposed to do. But great lovers are the ones who can lock in and stay steady while pleasure deepens. This practice trains your nervous system to tolerate intimacy without rushing it. And that's what allows her body to open instead of brace. Step three is breathe like you want to stay. So as you touch, you're going to inhale through your nose deeply and exhale through the mouth. You're going to let that exhale be longer than the inhale. This tells your body, I don't have to rush. I'm allowed to receive this. Most women accidentally hold their breath during erotic touch. That signals effort. Effort kills arousal. Breathing out keeps your pleasure open. Step four is let arousal move without chasing orgasm. And here's how this retrains her body out of work mode. So this is also where something really important happens for her body. When sex has felt like work for a long time, the body learns to brace the moment erotic touch begins. And this is going to resonate for a lot of partners. It can look like her pulling away when you touch her erotically, or suddenly she's feeling tired. She starts making jokes when you try to get sexy with her. She'll try to change the subject when you're trying to lead her toward intimacy, or she might just say, hey, not right now. I've got stuff to do, even when she wants connection. None of this means she doesn't want pleasure. It means her body has learned that erotic touch usually comes with expectation and a whole lot of work. This practice teaches her body something new that erotic touch is something she can sink into without pressure to perform, respond, or finish. And when the body stops bracing, arousal and desire start to return because pleasure finally feels safe and enjoyable again. So during these five minutes, she might notice warmth, tingling, pulsing, emotional relief, waves of desire, or moments where sensation fades and returns. And all of this is normal. The point is not for her to try to climax, or for you, if you're a partner, to try and make her climax. So for partners, if she presses into your hand, relaxes, or breathes more deeply, stay exactly where you are. And I know this is gonna be hard, but do not speed up, do not add intensity, and do not help her out. You staying steady is what teaches the body it's safe to want more. So you might be wondering how this practice ends. It's just five minutes. So at the end of the five minutes, you're gonna do a check-in with your body, right? Or if you're a partner, you can stop and you can ask her to tell you about how it felt in her body and you can discuss this together, right? And if the experience feels complete, you stop. But if the body feels open, curious, or like it's wanting more, and she asks if you're the partner, or you feel a clear invitation, if you are doing this solo, it's absolutely okay to continue. If your body's asking for more and you are wanting it, go for it. I'm never one to say, say no to what the body's asking for in this situation. The difference is this you're continuing because desire is present, not because you're supposed to finish something. That distinction is what keeps pleasure nourishing instead of training. And remember, if you continue, it doesn't have to end in orgasm. It can end whenever you feel like it needs to be done. And it's still a successful practice. So here's what you can expect to happen over time when you make this a daily practice. First, arousal is gonna start turning on faster during sex. There's gonna be less pressure around performance and easier access to internal pleasure. Your G spot and your A-spot responses are gonna start to kick in and ask for some attention. You're also going to have a much better chance at experiencing those blended and full body orgasms. You don't want to miss out on that experience in this lifetime. And sex starts feeling nourishing instead of draining, which is so important for a healthy sex life with yourself or someone else. Now, this is the foundation for everything we explore inside 365 days of orgasms. When erotic touch stops meaning work, the body wants it again and again. That's the shift this practice creates. And that's why I'm inviting you into 365 days of orgasms, not as a challenge, but as a daily pleasure practice, you don't have to do alone. We will build this into internal pleasure, into different orgasmic pathways, into emotional release, and into sex and intimacy that feels expansive instead of effortful. Five minutes at a time. If this made something click for you, stay close, follow here, subscribe to my podcast, check me out on my socials, visit my website where everything is going to live that I create over this next year for you. Because pleasure isn't about trying harder, it's about touching in a way the body can receive. If you have any questions or comments, make sure to drop them below the video of this episode. If you're on my YouTube channel at talk sexwithinet, you can shoot me an email at Annette at talksexwithinet.com. If you have any questions or you want to know more about this practice, please reach out. And of course, you can find me over on OnlyFans and Substack at TalkSexwithanet. Hey, I am ready for the new year. And in the next day or two, I'm going to be dropping you all of the information about my 365 days of orgasms pleasure journey. I can't wait to see you there. Until next time, I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.