Sex Resolutions for 2026 That Actually Change Your Life (In and Out of the Bedroom)

Every year we promise ourselves more sex, better performance, or more confidence — and every year those goals quietly fall apart.

In this episode, I’m joined by sex educator Goody Howard to talk about a different approach to sexual resolutions for 2026 — one that focuses on intention, education, and pleasure that actually lasts.

This isn’t about pressure or porn-inspired goals. It’s about setting sexual intentions that support your body, deepen intimacy, and create better sex, not just more of it — in and out of the bedroom.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why “more sex” usually isn’t the answer
• What actually helps sexual goals stick
• How education and intention lead to better intimacy
• A more realistic, embodied way to think about sexual growth in 2026

If you’re ready for a smarter, more grounded approach to your sex life in the new year, this episode is for you.

Find Goody here: https://www.instagram.com/askgoody

The Peach toy: https://youtu.be/tm6r87jv6Ps

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Chapters

• 0:00 New Name And Bold Mission
• 2:21 Why Pleasure Belongs In Resolutions
• 3:59 Meet Goody Howard
• 6:04 Pleasure Beyond Sex And Shame
• 11:39 Breaking Default Sex Scripts
• 15:38 Orgasm Variety And Exploration
• 20:35 Time, Labor, And Making Pleasure Worth It
• 26:12 Avoiding Unsafe Or Performative Goals
• 29:20 How To Choose Resolutions That Fit
• 32:10 Categories: Frequency, Sensuality, Mechanics
• 37:12 Impediments To Pleasure And Environment
• 41:50 Practical Tweaks: Lube, Tools, Routines
• 46:02 Redefining Orgasm And Arousal States
• 50:10 Non‑Genital Pleasure And Body Mapping
• 54:05 Toys For Every Body, Not Just Hers

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:45

Do the sex.

SPEAKER_00: 0:46

I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast formerly known as Locker Room Talk and Shots. The show has a new name, Talk Sex with Annette. But at its core, this is still your locker room. It's where we strip away shame, get curious, and speak the unspoken about sex, kink, dating, pleasure, and desire. Around here, nothing's off limits. These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats, our most trusted friends, and of course, the women's locker room. Think raw, honest, and sometimes unapologetically raunchy. If you've been here from the beginning, thank you. And if you're new, welcome to my podcast where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power. Now, let's talk about sex. Cheers. Ringlo. Today's talk sex with a net topic is the sexual resolutions that actually lead to better sex all year long. Every January, we swear we're going to fix our bodies, fix our habits, fix our lives. But somehow pleasure never makes the list. And yet, pleasure is a thing that regulates our nervous system, deepens intimacy, and increases confidence. It also improves health and actually makes change sustainable. Now, y'all know that in 2022, I made a resolution to have one orgasm a day, every day for the year. And I actually managed to do it through the good and the bad. And I can say 100% all those things I listed above are true. But there is also so much more that can come from a real a resolution like that. Now I'm going to be sharing more about that throughout this podcast, but I'm also going to be sharing something special. I'm launching for 2026. So stay tuned. But I'm really excited about this episode. It's all about sexual resolutions, not performative ones, not porn-inspired ones, but real embodied, pleasure-centered intentions that actually stick. And I'm also excited for today's conversation because my guest is someone who has been leading the charge when it comes to reclaiming pleasure as something intentional, powerful, and deeply human. Goody Howard is a sex educator, pleasure activist, and someone who talks about sex in a way that's grounded, inclusive, and real, especially when it comes to helping unlearn shame and creating pleasure practices that actually work in real life. And honestly, there's no better person to kick off a new year conversation about sexual resolutions with what they are and how they matter and how to stop treating pleasure like an afterthought. But before we dive in, I want to remind you, you got to head over to my OnlyFans or my Substack, where I'm going to be sharing more intimacy how-tos, demos, and audio guided self-pleasure meditations. You also get an opportunity to get a taste of intimacy coaching because I do kind of one-off QAs. So you can find all the links to find me in all the places if you head down to the show notes. So do that. And I'm excited to see you wherever I see you. But now, Goody, can you tell my listeners more about you?

SPEAKER_02: 3:51

Well, I'm a I've been a sex educator for 20 years at this point. I've been a sex educator for full time for 10 years. And I mean, I love what I do. This is all that I do. I show up, I really try to find innovative intersections of pleasure and life because people don't understand how pervasive pleasure can be in your life if you just reach out and grab it. I try to say that I like to say that I shift the culture forward with the community's understanding of pleasure, of attraction, of joy, and revolution. Um, because I feel like pleasure is something that's often overlooked. But when you can connect to pleasure, which the definition of pleasure is experiencing great joy and excitement, it has nothing to do with sex. When you can connect to pleasure in non-sexual ways, it makes sexual pleasure more accessible. And I think that just changes the way you walk, you talk, you smile, you think, you interact with people. So that's what I do, and I love what I do.

SPEAKER_00: 4:49

All of that resonates, especially how reconnecting with our sexual selves, it's integrated into our whole life and it can change your life, right? So making these resolutions that we're about to talk about can make really big changes to your life in such a fantastic way. So we want to make sure you're set up for 2026, getting off and having a great time in 2026. That's what we're gonna do. So let's do it. Let's talk about making sexual resolutions in 2026. By the end of this podcast, I want you to stay to the end because as always, I give you takeaways. But by the end of this episode, you're gonna be ready to sit down and figure out your resolutions to bring more pleasure, happiness, joy, and better sex into 2026. So let's do it. Let's talk about sex and sexual resolutions. Cheers. Cheers. Why do people skip over pleasure and especially sexual pleasure when creating New Year's resolutions?

SPEAKER_02: 5:57

Some people, I think some people don't think about pleasure as something that you have to work for or that you need to put effort into. Some people think, like, especially sexual pleasure, people think, oh, I'm having sex, so I must be enjoying the sex that I'm having, or sex is something natural. I don't have to put effort into that. Eating food is natural too, but you put effort into that. You learn new recipes, you get new kitchen gadgets. You there are things eating food is innate, but learning, adding layers to it and making it more enjoyable is intentional. And I don't think people view pleasure as something that that requires intentional focus or effort.

SPEAKER_00: 6:34

So why would you tell my listeners that if they are going to do a resolution in 2026 or resolutions, I have multiple, why is it important that they include pleasure and specifically, let's get specific sexual pleasure in that resolution.

SPEAKER_02: 6:59

Because again, when you connect to joy and excitement sexually or non-sexually, it changes the way you connect to yourself. And I think your pleasure scripts and the way you connect to joy is something that can be expanded. And because people don't consider pleasure usually, people think, oh, well, people think pleasure, they think chorelist because they usually just default to sexual pleasure and they're like, oh, I gotta clean my room, I gotta shave my legs, I gotta charge up my toys, or I gotta it just sounds like it just there's so many things that you think you have to do first. But by prioritizing pleasure, I think it gives you permission to settle into the joy that you can provide for yourself or your partners, and it just sort of connects you to yourself differently.

SPEAKER_00: 7:47

And how can making a real resolution uh to that focuses on intimate pleasure change your whole life, like all aspects of your life?

SPEAKER_02: 7:59

Um, like I said, I think it's a beacon of permission first, like it starts the it's the pebble that drops into the into the water that starts the riddles, right? So once you start to acknowledge pleasure and embrace pleasure for yourself, you give yourself permission to explore in other ways or question things differently, or things start to look different as a result of the pivot that you've made. An example of a sexual resolution could be exploring masturbation or exploring lubricant or things like that. People think, oh, I'm I'm so wet. I don't need lubricant. I don't need and then they add lubricant one time and their lives are changed. And it's well, wow, if I was, oh, I missed the mark on meeting lube. What are the other things that I'm missing the mark on? And so it starts, you start to question things outside of your pleasure, but just with how you just do things, you do things the way that that way, because they were always done that way. And then when something happens that changes one thing about how it's always done, and it opens up this brand new world, you start to think, okay, well, what else is going on that maybe I'm only doing it by default? And that's not a choice that I've consciously made for myself.

SPEAKER_00: 10:05

I like the way you say I'm doing this by default. I think a lot of the things that we do in bed or in intimacy and sex and love are done by default. Can we talk a little bit about what that default may look like? Because I think by solidifying that or making helping people understand what they might be doing by default, then we can like drill down and say, okay, what are resolutions that can take us out of default a little bit?

SPEAKER_02: 10:39

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I think default tends to happen over time. You sort of identify your pleasure scripts, you know what you enjoy. So you don't waste time exploring the other settings. You get straight to what you like. If you know you like a smack here and a choke there, then you go right to those things because you know you enjoy them. And so it sort of fades out the other options and opportunities for exploring exploration. So you just do what you always done. So a lot of times couples say, Oh, I'm in this rut, I'm in this sexual rut. We have sex the same way every time because you know where the buttons are, you know what works. So you get out of the habit of exploring new things. But when you create a new resolution, a new approach to something in regard to your pleasure, then it's like, oh, I forgot all about this. And I I and I'm gonna make this correlation to food again. Your palate for food changes as you grow. And so does your appetite for sex, right? So four-year-old goodie would not eat Brussels sprouts with someone else's mouth. Okay. And 45-year-old goodie eats Brussels sprouts like weekly, right? Because I like, I enjoy them now. You may have used to enjoy certain things that maybe you don't enjoy now, or maybe certain things in your mind were off limits that you may actually enjoy now if you try them. And so when you get into that default space, you're just sort of going on the rope memory of just doing what you always done, sort of like autopilot, and you forget to explore beyond it. And so that's where the resolutions come in of maybe exploring something other than your default settings or your autopilot.

SPEAKER_00: 12:10

And I want to add to that, I think something that I discovered by making the resolution to have an orgasm every day. Prior to that, I hadn't been able to really have G spot orgasms or A-spat orgasms. I'd been told when I was growing up, oh, some women just never have internal orgasms. And by exploring, so I did the quick hit flick the bean to get the orgasm, the external clitoris. And now then I experienced a G-spot orgasm and an A-spot orgasm. And I was like, oh my, oh my God. Now flicking the bean to get to the orgasm, like that's like a that's level one orgasm. Like, I want the body shaking orgasm to get the entry level.

SPEAKER_02: 12:57

It's entry level. And you had to get to the PhD level of exploration. And like I said, that default, we get to flicking the bean, and this is what we're gonna do. That's what I'm gonna do because that's what I'm that's gonna give me where I need to be. But we're not thinking about all the other types of pleasure and orgasm, nipple orgasm, skin gasm, breath gasm, right? G spot orgasm, squirting orgasm, U-spot orgasms, A spot, G spot, looking at all those. And if you have a penis, you got the P spot, you got the frenulum orgasm, the pelvic orgasm. There are so many different kinds of orgasms for different different body types that again, when we get to that, oh, we just flicking the bean, or we're just choking the chicken, or whatever the case may be, you ignore all those other erotic and pleasure-filled zones. And you're basically you playing yourself at that point. Like you're discounting your own pleasure. So I love the the orgasm a day. Um as soon as you said it, I I felt this in my body, like I felt like, oh, that's a lot. Like, oh, to to have to think to do it every day. It and I didn't like that. I didn't like how it's how it landed on me. I was like, why do I feel that way? Because there are so many other demands on my time and attention that carving out time for an orgasm a day just feels un undoable to me.

SPEAKER_00: 14:10

When I announced what I was doing, the resounding response from women was just that. The resounding response from men was like, I've been doing that since I was 15. And that shook me. Like how how different. And by the way, it was a lot. So let me add that in. But I think the thing that happened was I did learn that so I used to, in order to masturbate, just flick the bean to get that external clitoral orgasm entry level, right? Orgasm is nice, but is it worth carving out an hour every day to try and get to it? That's when it becomes work because the payoff is nice, but is it like life-changing? No. Is it worth carving time to fight like what can I am perimenopausal hormones or mood or sickness? I had to do this through two bouts of COVID, guys. Two bouts that was wrong. No, but then you start having your A-spot orgasm and you're like, oh, okay. Like the work is worth the payoff. And I think when I work with couples or women who just don't want to have sex anymore, it's because sex has become work. And the way you take it out of work is making sure that payoff, the pleasure you get from it, outweighs it that goes into it, right? Which is accessing new types of PhD level orgasms, as you put it. So, but yeah, it it does. Like I think a lot of women have it's normal to have that feeling of like, fuck, that's a lot, one every day.

SPEAKER_02: 15:48

Yeah, because we have so many other hats we wear. So many. Don't have a partner, don't have kids, don't have a, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's it's like, oh, I got now, I have to add to put this on my to-do list.

SPEAKER_00: 15:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 15:59

And it doesn't feel it doesn't feel like joy and excitement at the time. It feels like, oh my God, it's one more thing for me to do, right? And then, like you said, when you actually do it, it's like, okay, well, maybe, perhaps it's not as in an hour is wild.

SPEAKER_00: 16:17

I was I was having orgasm issues. It was it used to take me prior to doing this journey. So this is another reason why it was so good for me, is it was taking me 45 minutes to orgasm when I started it. And now I can get myself off in like five minutes if I want to. So that was that learning my body and learning the things I like and getting the pleasure tools that I've got the womanizer blend. That thing is my bam, just takes me right out. My biggest problem is I just don't want to stop after the first orgasm. But he this brings me to a, I think, an important question. So we're here to help my listeners make some pleasure-based, and I want to say sex-based, sexual pleasure-based resolutions. But can we talk about first what would be some bad things to do or ways to choose that resolution? It's fair to say the way I went into my resolution wasn't well thought out, or necessarily a good one, though it's led to amazing things I learned from it. So what are some things you don't want to do when picking the sexual pleasure resolution for 2026?

SPEAKER_02: 17:36

I think when in the course of trying to figure out what your sexual resolution can be, making sure that it's something that does not compromise your safety. So someone said, Oh, I want to have a new sex partner every week. I want to try, I want to learn new bodies. I want to, you can. But your safety could be compromised in doing something like that. Your health could be compromised depending on what your practices are around family planning and all of that, especially in this new climate. Some now you get pregnant, you might have to stay pregnant. You know, saying like you have to, you thinking about what that can look like, right? But I would say anything that if you uh have other underlying health issues, if you have like mobility issues or anything like that, making sure that the sexual resolution that you that you land on is something that's going to support the body that you have. It's going to support the health that you have, whatever that health status is, it's going to report support that health status. Thinking about what pleasure can look like. But when I when I think about things that maybe you should avoid when it comes to sexual resolutions, I'm really, it varies from person to person. I tell people all the time, stay out the kitchen. When you get when you're having sex and stuff like that, food play and sex can get very complicated very quickly. And if you're not doing the right research, you're gonna be at the doctor trying to explain. So I don't think that there's any necessarily bad or wrong resolution to take on. Just make sure that you're beginning with the end in mind and thinking it through and doing your research because anything can be done. Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough. But thinking about what that can look like in terms of your own health, your own body, your own mobility, your own relationship structures, all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00: 19:22

Yeah, absolutely. What are some ways you can set yourself up for success when mapping out the kind of resolution you want? What are some core things to think about before launching into picking it?

SPEAKER_02: 19:39

I would think ask yourself about the sex that you are having. And what about the sex that you're having do you enjoy? What about the sex that you're having? Would you like to change or you don't enjoy so much? What are you not doing that you like to do more? What are you doing that you'd like to do less of? Right. Think about your plus-minus delta of your current sexual pleasure experiences. And then based on the the holes that you see or the abundance that you see, you can write your resolutions rooted in what you what's right in front of you. And then you can kind of branch out and get more adventurous after you've established that baseline. But think about the current sexual pleasure that you're experiencing and what are the plus-minus delts of that.

unknown: 20:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 20:26

I love that. Can we talk about categories of resolutions, pleasure, sexual pleasure-based resolutions? There's obviously the obvious, which is masturbatory. There's with other people, but there's there are different approaches to sex, intimacy, and pleasure. What are some categories people could start thinking about that take them out of the box of, oh, I'm gonna have sex, like maybe you're having it once a month. I'm gonna have sex once a week. Or oh, I mean something simplistic with that.

SPEAKER_02: 21:03

I do think a lot of people will land on frequency resolutions first. Right? I do think that is the most common challenge that people have. Either they're they may feel like they're having too much sex or they may feel like they're not having enough. So I think that's frequency is gonna be the first one. But also thinking about when you're having the sex, do you feel powerful? Do you feel beautiful? Do you feel flexible? Do you feel like what are you feeling like in your body in addition to the sexual pleasure? Because it could be your sexual resolution could could be you want to make sure you want to add stretching to your to your daily routine, because then you're gonna be able to expand literally in your sexual situation. Spaces in a very different way, right? It may be sometimes like the paramenopausal. So many things come with paramenopause, right? And so thinking about what that looks like, you might want to be beginning more sensual practices because you are on autopilot when you're having sex. So you may want to take more time and do the fragrances and the oils and the you might want to tap into that, thinking about the mechanics of the sex. Whether you have a penis or a vagina or a vulva, what does that wetness look like? If you have a penis, come should be the texture of spit, not snot. You know what I'm saying? Like what does that look like? If you're having erection challenges, right? How do you support that? If you're not drinking enough water and you have a penis, part of your erection quality is going to be rooted to how much water you're drinking, right? Do you walk around? Do you skip leg day? You know what I'm saying? Those kinds of things. So thinking about beyond the bedroom stuff, but the non-bedroom stuff that supports the bedroom stuff. One of the seven habits of highly affected people is to begin with the end in mind. So if the end in mind is the bedroom pleasure, think about your impediments to pleasure. Can you not enjoy the sex because your room is dirty? Can you not enjoy the sex because maybe, I don't know, maybe you don't like the way your skin smells? Permanent pause has really done a number on me with smells. And so it is atrocious, right? So maybe you don't like the way your skin smells, or maybe, you know, the sheets are uncomfortable. Or like think about all of the things that are impediments to pleasure during your sexual experiences. If you can't focus as you're thinking about the dishes and the laundry and all of the things, what ways can you focus and be intentional and in the space and in the room in real time? You know, five things you can see, four things you can touch, three, all of that, the grounding exercises, but in a sexual way, in the actual space, right? Can you think about your partner's skin or your own pleasure sounds or things that you can focus on to bring you back into the room? So I would think look into what the impediments to your pleasure that exist now and what maybe what what resolutions could show up to maybe ease that or fix it.

SPEAKER_00: 24:43

Well, I just learned a whole lot and that I didn't I didn't know that about guys cum. Thank you for sharing. Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 24:51

Yes, it's it's it's just that thicker spit when people like them when they hop. I'm sorry. When they do that, that is what the texture of cum should be. If it is thick like snot, you need more water. You need more water. Okay, and and I'm trying to help you because the the people with penises, we're trying to help you get your ducks, your dicks up, okay? Because some people don't swallow because they have texture issues. But if your cum was the right texture, it wouldn't be a texture issue.

SPEAKER_00: 25:19

Wow. All right. Okay, so you're gonna want to rewind this, go back to this last question and listen to all of that over again because I was like picking up things that she just gave us a bunch of many lessons right there, right? And you want to get all of them. And that that is some great advice. So now, even in this conversation, I didn't know what to expect to receive from your perspective. And not once as I was sitting and going kind of over this in my head, did I really sit and think about like going through your sex life, your intimate life, your self-pleasure life, even if you're solo, right? And thinking about all of the things, all of the challenges or impediments to pleasure. I mean, even if I had done that prior to going into my 365 days of organs challenge, there was so much I could have like so much trouble and challenge I could have saved myself. And then making your residence so much effort, it would have really lowered my effort. So that's a great place to start as well. So I think now we're at the point. Because let's be real, if someone's listening to this right now and thinking about wanting to launch a resolution around intimacy, they're here because they're like, hey, give me, just give me some ideas to go with. They want us to make this a little bit easier. Yes. Right. So what I wanted to do is set the base. So maybe you listed some, we're gonna present some resolution options here. Yes. And then now you have the base of knowledge from what we've just talked about to take them, and then you don't have to do our default resolution. You can specialize it to your life. You can tweak it based on the things that Goody just threw out there and the things we were sharing about what could be bad resolutions. Again, if you want to try a different person every week, that's something you want to think maybe twice about or really figure out what are the things that would impede that from being safe? What are all of the things you need to put in place to keep yourself safe, the other person safe, so on and so forth. So, but let's talk about some resolutions. Let's list them out, let's map some that people straight from this podcast and run with if they wanted to. Yes. I'd love to hear some that you like to suggest to people.

SPEAKER_02: 27:46

Um, so one that I really that changed some things for me was I'm a very sensual person, like, and I have texture issues and all kinds of things. So if I I like I changed my environment. So this the bread count on the sheets went up. I love the way like I may I invested in like night, nightwear and and things that feel good on my skin. So sort of set the mood for me. So I feel feminine, I feel soft, I feel, I don't feel sexy, but I mean, because sexy means a lot of things to a lot of people, right? Sexy can be beautiful, powerful, confident, flexible, all of the things, right? But I felt amorous, I felt soft, I felt feminine. And so I sort of invested in changing that environment for me, right? But some people can do something as simple as adding lubricant. Or, and with with the with the lubricant thing, a lot you get a lot of pushback from people sometimes, but it's a game changer for a lot of human beings. Even if you don't feel like you need lubricant, it is a game changer because it creates a smoother barrier between you and whoever or whatever you're fucking on. But just getting like automatic soap dispenser and filling it with lubricant. So then it's on the side of the bed and it's just and it's it's the perfect amount. You don't have to stop and unscrew anything. They have the warmers and all that stuff. The warmers, I'm again, I'm I'm sensory. I don't like the warmth. But if you can fill up automatic soap dispenser, it just it's on the side of the bed and you get you can get it, and you don't have to like interrupt your thought process, or if you have a partner there, it doesn't really interrupt anything, it keeps the sexy going. And so sometimes people think that safety practices can be an impediment to pleasure. So figure out ways to sort of smoothly introduce them in, like the soap dispenser, or if you're using condoms or whatever, research how to put them on with your mouse or what have you, so you can introduce them in a sexier way so it doesn't feel like an impediment to pleasure. When people talk about frequency, like I love the idea of an orgasm every day. Conceptually, I love that realistically for me. I still I I still feel that weight in my chest, even when I said it out loud. But if you were like, I want to commit to having an orgasm every 72 hours or what have you, you can set a reminder in your calendar every 72 hours, it'll go off and then having greats with yourself, thinking, okay, I'm committing to these 72 hours, right? Every 72 hours I'm committing to either providing orgasm for myself or getting somebody to provide an orgasm for me. If you have a partner, sometimes, especially when you have bills and babies and businesses, you sort of get away from that connection and you go into that, oh, we just have sex on Wednesdays and Fridays, and you set like a little reminder for every that 72 hours for you to initiate as opposed to waiting on someone to initiate with you.

SPEAKER_00: 30:27

Right, right. Yeah, I think one thing that I learned from my 365 days of orgasms is A, when it comes to sexual pleasure, centering it around reaching an orgasm is problematic, right? But redefining what's orgasmic, which there is the climax, right? There's the climax, which is that physical, one of my guests called it, an erotic sneeze where your body does the clenching. Because it's involuntary for sure. And then there's the orgasmic that's energetic, that's emotional, yeah. And it changes when you can step outside of the box of this orgasm is your goal whenever you have sex, and you can start to look at orgasm as a space to get into, that shifts what having an orgasm every day could look like. So for me, I think a good resolution for everybody, and something I still have to do, especially when I'm in partnered sex, because boy, it's hard to take the performance out of sex when you're with someone else because you feel like if you don't give them the that sneeze orgasm, that physical clinching, then you failed. But a great resolution would be to reframe orgasm in your life and find other ways to orgasm that don't have to include that physical clinching, the the climax, the physical climax, right? But you could feel like you reached orgasm if you're just in that heightened, pleasurable pla place for a long time.

SPEAKER_02: 32:15

Yeah, and that's very much that the state of arousal, that state of ecstasy, that state of pleasure. And then also thinking about maybe exploring body mapping. There are 21 different kinds of orgasm. Well, there are more than 21, but there are 21 that I'm comfortable helping people connect to that I feel like I can teach somebody else how to do, right? I because there's a difference between knowing how to do something and being able to teach people how to do things. And so, like when I teach like my dick writing class, or I have a class called strokeology for people with penises and people that were strap-ons, or oral sex workshops and things like that. There's one thing to be able to do something. There's another thing element there to be able to teach people how to do something. And the 21 different kinds of orgasms, exploring those, exploring a nipple orgasm, an oral orgasm, a body, a body high, experimenting with the temperatures and the textures of things, and just sort of exploring what sensual pleasure in that orgasmic space can look like. It's a not it's not as concrete of a resolution, but it's a it's a goal. It's an idea that's centered in pleasure.

SPEAKER_00: 33:19

I love the idea of just exploring 2021 types of orgasm, looking for that list, and then just exploring. Not meaning that you have to have any of them.

SPEAKER_01: 33:31

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 33:32

But over the course of 2026, you could just try them out, learn about them, become educated, bring them into the bedroom. And if you're with a partner, it could be a playful, like, all right, honey, tonight, let's try for the nipple orgasm. Let's explore what that looks like. Right. Because it's also going to add layers to your play in bed. Now, once you've explored that, you're probably going to find elements of it that you liked or thought were fun. Now you can integrate it and take things off your default setting by adding in some like whatever nipple soaking or rubbing or whatever you decide to do.

SPEAKER_02: 34:08

Everything. And then, like with the nipple orgasm, everyone has nipples outside of medical intervention. You're born with nipples, everyone has them. And so they have pleasure centers for everyone. Now, folks with penises are typically not going to ask for nipple play, nipple stimulation. They're not gonna stop you, but they're not gonna ask you because nipples are feminized in our culture, right? Men can walk around without their shirts on, you know, but a person with breasts cannot walk around without their shirt on. A woman with breasts, of person, a person with a vulgar or femme presenting or what have you. And I think that we limit ourselves because everyone's focused on the P and V of it all. Or the V and V or the PA or whatever is happening, right? I think we're so focused on genital pleasure when it comes to sex that a resolution could look like exploring what pleasure looks like, what sexual pleasure can look like outside of the genitals, and how many different ways you can add pleasure to your pleasure scripts outside of the genitals. And I think that's a very fun get get the little dice, get the little do something different. See how many different ways you can use a rose on your penis. Because if you put the rose on the frenulum, it's a good time. Or or if the peach, the the woman, the peach woman. I saw that, I love that. I want one so bad. Super fun. I was like, that's so cute. I need one. But like if you have some sort of suction air pulse technology device, if you put that on the prenulum, it's a whole new experience. And most of the time, we don't like get it. If you if you do have pleasure tools, figure out aftermarket ways to use them. That can be a resolution of just exploring beyond the P, exploring beyond the way we normally use this toy, or exploring, getting tight, taking a rope class, figuring out if you like being tied up, figuring out if you like giving spanks, figure out expanding your pleasure palette intentionally. Even if it's just like, oh, because it some things are free. YouTube is free. You can only get so much on it because they don't let us monetize that kind of content. But you can explore and find and take a class, do something new around what pleasure can look like for you. So that maybe you find a new thing you enjoy. Maybe you'll get a new cake for Christmas. You know what I'm saying? Maybe you explore what that PV or what you've classically been autopilot default to do.

SPEAKER_00: 36:24

Yes. I mean, a fun resolution could be, and this is one that I'm not going to do because I I don't enjoy role play that much at all. But if you are, it's something that maybe I need to do at some point just because I maybe I've built up that story. But you could explore role play in 2026 and decide once a month you're gonna try out a new role play scenario. Maybe the first month you want it to be the I don't know, what do people role play?

SPEAKER_02: 36:55

Sometimes it's like strangers in the strangers at the bar. You drive there separately, and maybe someone has a wig on or someone looks completely different. Maybe you throw on an accent or something. You can do that, we can do the pizza delivery, like all the porn scenarios, the pizza delivery, the plumber, Amazon, I have a package for you kind of thing. I mean, there are ways to sort of have fun with it. You you might do one where you're having a podcast, a podcast interview, but it's in person, and it becomes a hands-on type thing. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00: 37:22

That might be a good all right, all right, all right. Maybe I need to open my mind a little bit when it comes to this one. I have throughout my life been asked to do role play, and I don't know why you get so awkward about it, but I've got some blocks there, some I get in my head a little bit. But yeah, I mean, that that would be a fun for some people resolution to do. Try a new scenario, expand on that creativity there. Another thought I was having, something that I've actually sort of in a not very structured way been working on is integrating breathing into my orgasms. So many of us, especially women and people with vulvas, find ourselves clenching up to get to that orgasm when we're trying to force ourselves over the edge. And something that I learned through my 365 days of orgasms journey was like if I let go and I actually just like breathe deep as I'm orgasming and exhale, like it's this really incredible processing experience. It's a it's like it it is emotionally cleansing and it's a totally different experience. And so exploring breath with orgasm, not clenching on purpose, as you orgasm, breathing deeply through it and seeing what that does for you. Try it out once, and depending on your frequency of sex. Again, you could do this once a month, do this once a week. You could go hard and be like, hey, twice a week I'm gonna explore this on my own, and then throw it in with my partner.

SPEAKER_02: 38:59

I love that you said that though, because sometimes when we think of resolutions, we think it has to be something that's done every day. It can be weekly, it can be quarterly, it can be monthly, it can be because it's it's an intentional focus that you're going to put effort into. It doesn't have to be daily. And sometimes, like I had this resolution that I was like, I'm going to put lashes on every day, right? Because I feel better when I do. And I when I don't, and I I leave the house, I feel like my eyeballs are naked. I just, I don't know. I don't feel put together. And so sometimes I'm like, I put them on, but I don't want to take them off. Because it's a whole nother thing. And so like some days you don't have 100% to give and do the whole lash thing, right? Some days you can just put a little mascara on. Some days you like do a piece of what. And so I think what people happens, what happens when people like fall off of their resolutions is because they put this pressure on themselves to do something consistently every day. And it's like that that discipline takes work. You have to work up to that. Like, that's why I am I applaud you with the orgasm every day, because the discipline that it takes. Because especially when we when mentally you're not prioritizing pleasure or you had a bad day today, you really just don't fucking feel like it, or whatever. You had COVID and you were still, you know what I'm saying? Like the dedication and and discipline that that took, I'm sure gave you sexual and non-sexual benefits because the because of the discipline of it, right? And that's what a lot of resolutions are. So thinking about what pleasure can look like for you, what pleasure can look like for your partners, exploring those things, trying something new. It could be, I want to have sex in every room of my house this year. And make yourself a little bingo board and just check off every one, right on the rooms, and then check off every time you have sex in one of the rooms. You know what I'm saying? Just to it's change your scenery. Because if you're having sex in the bed all the time, that contributes to your autopilot. That contributes to your default settings. But if you get you in the kitchen, now you gotta bend over an aisle or get up on a get up on a countertop or nothing. So the the the availability of your posturing and positioning is different, therefore the sex is gonna be different.

SPEAKER_01: 40:58

Right.

SPEAKER_02: 40:59

So it's just it's just a matter of if you if you want to get out of the autopilot of it all, challenge yourself to new things, all want to have sex in every room in my house, including the backyard. I want to have sex, and it doesn't have to be, again, it's it's it's thinking about what the impediments are. If you change your scenery, then it gives you a new set of eyes to embrace your pleasure with.

SPEAKER_00: 41:23

It's interesting as we're talking. I'm thinking, of course, as I'm thinking about resolutions, I'm thinking heavily about female-bodied or people with vulvas. But I mean, and in many ways, you can take these and it could be any gender. You can make these any gender. But I think, especially for men and people with penises, some there are some really good resolutions that could be helpful. For instance, as you mentioned earlier, I think men oftentimes have a weird relationship or a challenging relationship with sex choice or pleasure tools because they feel like it says something about them because it's for her. And I think a really fun resolution for couples or just men on their own is to get these toys that they think are just for her and see how they feel on their own anatomy and how they can be used on their own body alone and during paired sex. And especially if you do have a partner who is opposite sex or someone with a vulva and you're using them on them, how how about say, Well, I I I'll get good with using these tools during sex, but I wanna see what they do to enhance my pleasure.

SPEAKER_02: 42:39

I used to do sex toy Saturday, but Sex Toy Saturday, I highlight a sex toy, I talk about how to use it, I talk about the mainstream way it's marketed to be used, and I talk about the aftermarket ways we can use it, and I also talk about how to clean it and how to store it. And when we when people do the see the sex toy Saturday, when I did Sex Toy Saturday on the rose, they were like, I can use the rose on his penis. I can use the rose on the fremulum or the perineum or perennium or taint or whatever you want to call it. I can put a rose on a nipple. I can be riding and put the rose on one nipple up on my mouth. Like they they you could see the light bulb go off. And I think for the people with penises specifically, because especially and I say the rose because it was the most viral one of the moment, right? The suction toy of it all. Those suction toys, not even just the rose, but the suction toys were the most viral moment when it came to pleasure tools. And a lot of people were joking about hiding them from their partners and things like that. But that is a teammate. That is not a competitor. And once you realize that it can not only bring pleasure to you, it can not only enhance your partner's pleasure, but bring pleasure to you, I think you embrace it differently and it doesn't become an impediment to pleasure. I think when people think sex toys, they think big, dick-shaped vibrators. But if you up open your mind and understand that pocket pussies are sex toys, hollow strapbones, if you're having erectile difficulty challenges, they have hollow strap bones that you can put your placid penis in and still have inserted sex with your partner. So you're still participating actively in their pleasure. Like those kinds of things are mental health improvements, right? But people don't want to even go as far. And that's why I think like things like sex toys Saturday and when you do the toy reviews and things on your on your website, I think that's why that's so powerful for people because they had no idea until kind of opening boxes and showing them what's in them. Right? So I I love that. If you have a penis, think about ways that you can use sex toys. If you see a pleasure tool, think about ways you can use it. If you don't know how to use it, email them, email me, do the little speak type voicemail and ask questions. And this is what we do. Having people that you can ask these kinds of questions to and help get healthy, professional, accurate answers will be able to be a game changer too. So if it's not, take a class, learn something new, Google something, ask a question, get a cock ring, do something.

unknown: 44:57

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 44:59

A resolution for 2026 could be as simple as just taking one thing you're curious about and learning what it could be Shibari, uh the art of growth and intimacy. Just like dedicate a whole year to it. Start by reading books, then go to class, then watch YouTube videos and say, this year, this is something I want to look into, right? And and just focus on that. It could also just be every week, I'm going to listen to a new podcast on sex and intimacy and see what I learn, right? It could be a learning process. I'm going to open my mind. And and I would say this if you're going to do that, you're going to go on a learning resolution. You need to listen to the episodes that you first see the title or whatever, and you're like, oh, like what was I did one on facials, like theme and facials, and everyone was instantly like, oh, too much. And I'll tell you what, that was one of the most transformative podcast episodes I did because I realized that I was limiting my own intimate life by yucking something that there was no reason.

SPEAKER_02: 46:13

Somebody's yum. You don't even know. You don't even know that if it's something that you just like, I have my lines in the sand. And as a sex educator, people are like really surprised by my lines in the sand. But like there are certain things that I just can't, because of my sensory challenges, I have hypersensory disorder. And so things are like super heightened for me, which is an awesome thing, but can also be an awful thing. And so certain things I just can't. I'm I've tried. And I will say, I've tried it to know that I don't like it. And that's one thing that I think people, like I said, limit themselves. They've decided that it's not for them. So then they don't even try. They don't even, I mean, it's not for me. I'm not gonna do it. If you haven't, just like with food, again, it's very similar because there's innate talent. When you decide you don't want to eat something, and then later in life you try it, you go, hey, this was good. You've been missing out this whole time on something that would have been a delicious and amazing for you because you decided in your mind you had this narrative that it wasn't, it wasn't on your plate, right? And so when you think about sexually as well, you never know what you're gonna like or dislike until you try it. You never know. Some people like, oh, I'm not, I don't like pegging, I'm not trying to be pegged, and now they are peg down. Like they carry, like they have their own special pegs that they take with them. Like, hey, but like it's like they and they're like, I never thought I would have enjoyed something like that. But again, the learning aspect of it all and being open allows you to embrace something that maybe you didn't even think was for you.

SPEAKER_00: 47:39

That's right. So maybe in 2026, it's just gonna be being open-minded, learning about things, and giving it a try. I think we're at the point in this episode where Goody would you I want to give my listeners a go back. So they're gonna start mapping out their resolutions. I'd like you to give them just three tips to take away as they head out of this episode, where they can go and they can sit down and start mapping it out. What are three things that you would tell them to start doing tonight, or as soon as they're done with this episode, to start setting them up for success in 2026 with these resolutions?

SPEAKER_02: 48:17

Like I said earlier, I would think look at the sex that you're having and think, what do I love about this? What is what do I feel like is missing? What do I want more of? What are some impediments? Start there because that's gonna give you like your baseline to work from. Look at the sensual aspects of the sex that you're having. Are there some things maybe you maybe I know I didn't get my first wax until I was 40? Because I thought it was terrifying. I was like, I cry when I get my eyebrows done. I'm not getting a wax, right? And I'm not going, I did it, and I'm not going ever going back. I'm getting waxes for the rest of my life. I'm looking in the laser to get you the you know what I'm saying? So think about like what are some sensual additions that you may want to add, be it moisture or maybe hairlessness if you're if you if you if you don't wax, or if you do wax, figure out what it would look like with you didn't. Like think about the things, the sensual aspects of it, the way things feel around you, the environment that you're having sex in. Think about those things. And then take your partner into consideration or partners into consideration, because they may be able to help you write one, or y'all may be able to come up with one together. If you look at that baseline, maybe there's something you're gonna learn about your partner because you say, oh, babe, what are you, what are some things about the sex we're having? Have that conversation as a means to an end to establish a resolution, and you may find something in there that you didn't even know.

SPEAKER_00: 49:40

I love it. You guys are set up, you've got your little go bag, and and I'm going to be giving you some options as well that I'll be telling you about soon. But for now, Goody, can you tell my listeners all the places they can find you, follow you, learn from you in 2026?

SPEAKER_02: 50:00

Yeah, so my name is Goody. My name is Goody Howard, and so people ask goodie things. So I am Ask Goody. Anywhere likes can be clicked. My platform of choice is Instagram, and my website is shopasgoody.com. That's where you can get the class replays, those sex toys, the goody gear. I have like t-shirts and stuff that say fun things. You can get all of that there as well. But I am Ask Goody, A-S-K-G-O-O-D-Y on all platforms.

SPEAKER_00: 50:31

Yeah, and sign up for my e newsletter because I'll be sending all of her links to you there. You can also scroll down and you're gonna find all the places that you want to find her there. Now, I'm gonna give you guys a little sneak peek and you wanna stay tuned in the upcoming days. I am going to be taking you all on a 365 days of orgasms experience through 2026. Listen, ladies, I know the weights on your chest. I get it. But I have created a way in which we can take that weight off of your chest and you can experience orgasmic pleasure too in some form every day in 2026. Unless you have COVID, in which case I will give you a break day. So I do not recommend it. That's one thing I did learn. When you're sick, it's okay to rest. But I want you to stay at tune because I have a lot of exciting stuff coming with that. I'm excited because it's also a little bit of a resolution for me. And I'm excited to be working with all of you next year. Thank you, Goody, so much for joining me. This was super helpful. You are such a knowledgeable educator. And even in your answers, I just found my own self going, oh, oh, I didn't know that. And I love it when I have a guest on who does that for me. It reminds me to I still have to go in my own self-education and experience.

SPEAKER_02: 51:56

We all do. That's what I love about it. It's it's it's an ever, it's a lifelong learning commitment.

SPEAKER_00: 52:02

Not a bad one either, right? Come on. There are worse things you can have to learn about across your life. So until next time, friends, I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.