Talk Sex with Annette

Group Sex 101: The Real Rules That Keep It Hot (and Safe)

• Talk Sex with Annette • Season 2

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In this episode we’re diving into Group Sex 101: The Real Rules That Keep It Hot (and Safe).

So you finally got the invite: the group chat is buzzing, the lube is packed, and you’re ready for your first play party, threesome, or poly adventure. But before you dive in, do you actually know how to keep it sexy and safe?

In this episode, I’m joined by Milla Impola, condom and lube expert from ONE® Condoms, to talk about what really goes down behind the scenes — from STI safety and testing to consent, communication, and pleasure tips that make group play fun, drama-free, and unforgettable.

We’ll cover:

  • How to set boundaries that keep everyone turned-on and respected
  • The lube and condom combos that actually work for group play
  • How to stay safe without killing the mood
  • What to look for in a play party (and red flags to walk away from)

This isn’t your high-school sex ed. It’s the real-world guide to adventurous, safer, more connected pleasure.

✨ Watch next: “How to Plan a Threesome (Without Making It Weird or Wrecking Your Relationship)” Here: https://youtu.be/6etkSQREj8k

Play safer with One Condoms Use Code ANNETTE15 at https://tidd.ly/3L5nrID for 15% off 

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Cheers!

SPEAKER_00:

I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast formerly known as Locker Room Talk and Shots. The show has a new name, Talk Sex with Annette. But at its core, this is still your locker room. It's where we strip away shame, get curious, and speak the unspoken about sex, kink, dating, pleasure, and desire. Around here, nothing's off limits. These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats, our most trusted friends, and of course, the women's locker room. Think raw, honest, and sometimes unapologetically raunchy. If you've been here from the beginning, thank you. And if you're new, welcome to my podcast where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power. Now, let's talk about sex. Cheers. Right low. Today's Talk Sex with the Net topic is group play 101, your ultimate guide to safe and sexy adventures. So you finally got the invite. The group chat is popping, the lube is packed, and you're ready for your first play party threesome or poly adventure. But wait, do you actually know how to practice safer sex when it's not just two people in bed? Because here's the truth most people think they know how to use a condom. Most people don't know how to talk about testing, and almost no one has been taught how to navigate STI safety in non-monogamous group or kink-based spaces. Today's episode is for the sex positive babes, the polycurious, and the wild ones who want their pleasure and their health. I am joined by Mila Impola, a condom and lube expert at one condoms and a total badass when it comes to rethinking how we talk about sexual safety, especially in spaces where the play gets expansive. But before we dive in, I want to remind you that I am over on OnlyFans, and that is where I am sharing my sex and intimacy, how-tos, demonstrations, and audio guided self-pleasure meditations, so much more, in an effort to help you have a better, more intense, wonderful, pleasure-based intimate life, whether that is with yourself or with someone else. You can find me there with my handle at Talk Sex with the Net. I'm doing a lot of the same over on Substack. So you can find me there with my handle at Talk Sex with the Net. But for now, Mila, I would love for you to introduce yourself to my listeners.

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. And thank you so much for having me here today. So I'm Mila Impola. I'm the marketing and communications director at Global Protection Corp. I'm also a senior size specialist for the My1 Custom Fit Line. We have it is a title I gave myself, but I a title, nevertheless, that I'm proud of after 10 years of working at Global. And in my spare time, I love dogs, handwritten notes, and I'm also originally from Finland.

SPEAKER_00:

What that intro. Senior size specialist. Yes. I feel like many of us would love to be able to have that title. So fantastic.

SPEAKER_01:

We're working on a lot of educational programs now where I almost want to create like a certificate so that other people too can have the coveted title of senior size specialist.

SPEAKER_00:

I love it. So listen, guys, of course, I want you to stay to the end. And here is why. Today we are diving into the real safer sex talk you should have before threesims, group sex, whatever you're gonna do or hoping to do. How group sex changes the game and what most people get wrong, why condoms break and what your lube might have to do with it, what switching partners means for STI, risk, and so much more. This isn't your high school sex ed. This is the condom chronicles. And it might just blow your mind. So stay. We will give you the typical takeaways at the end, a little grab bag, if you will, a handbag of tools that can get you started on your journey into safer sex with more than one person at a time. And who doesn't want that? I mean, everybody, everybody kind, at least in their fantasies, wants to experience that, right? Yeah. Yeah. So let's get ready to talk about group sex and keeping it safe. Cheers. Cheers. So group play sounds thrilling to people, right? And and in my experience, it has been, but how do you ensure it's both exhilarating and safe? What is your top tip going into this conversation?

SPEAKER_01:

My top tip would be really discussing with whoever you're gonna play with around what are the boundaries and what are the safer sex tools? What is everyone comfortable with when it comes to the experience that you're gonna have, right? Condom use, dental dams. Is someone, you know, does somebody prefer an external condom, aka what's often called a male condom, internal condom? What tools are we bringing to the table? Who's bringing all the tools, right? Like it, who's bringing the lubricant, who's bringing the condoms? And then also I hear it so often, like, I hate condoms, right? But I also encourage people to say, like, okay, but when was the last time you really tried a condom? Or maybe tried a condom other than Trojan? Not that I'm knocking on them, right? If that's your brand and you love it, I am so happy for you. But there's also so many brands and condom styles. And that's even at one condom that we really focus on is how do we constantly reinvent the condom? Because us as a manufacturer, we understand that condoms are a barrier, right? They are a barrier between two people, but we spend all our time thinking about how to continuously make them better. That's why we have the custom thick condoms or the flex condoms that improve heat transfer. But like, have you thought about what type of condoms you like? When was the last time you really tried them? And then practice it at home. I hear it all the time like, Miss Mila, we're gonna masturbate using a condom. I'm like, what are you talking about? And it's like, that's the best way, honestly, to see like what condom works for you, right? Like practice it at home by yourself first. So you know what brands do you like? What styles do you like? Are you maybe allergic to latex? You know, there's so many things to try out there.

SPEAKER_00:

Do they really call you Miss Mila when they say that? Sometimes they do, yeah. Right. All right. I want what I want, I want to be called Miss now. Do I want to be? I don't know. I I've got to try that on sometime soon. Try it on. Try calling me that. Let's see how it goes. All right. Well, so let's really start from the beginning here. What do you think it is that draws people to group sex?

SPEAKER_01:

New experiences, getting to try new things, new partners, so many different new things that you could experience, right? Right. And at once. Right.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean There's more hands involved, which is always yeah, there's more everything, and and then in some ways more configurations that can take place, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and more imaginations, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Right. What do you think some of the misconceptions around group sex are most common?

SPEAKER_01:

Most common misconceptions. I think some of them might be like, especially if you go to a play party, right? Like you can just jump in, for example, and that everything goes and it's a free-for-all. But like consent is so important. Consent is always important, but it's very much like often you get invited to a scene, right? A lot of scenes might already be pre-negotiated. And what they're really there for is like having people watch, right? I think one of the big misconceptions is that it's just like a free-for-all, no rules kind of place. But actually, in play parties, it's like there's actually a lot of rules in place and consent negotiation and negotiation around economies and cipher sex and all kinds of stuff. So I would say that that's one of the first things that comes to mind.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't think people understand how much communication goes into group sex and play parties and stuff like that. It's not just, you know, you show up and everyone rips their clothes off and starts humping away.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Exactly. Yeah, that there is so much of that communication and also a lot of communication that happens even before you get to the event or the party, right? So much communication happens ahead of time.

SPEAKER_00:

In some ways. That dynamic would be a great one to replicate in just a monogamist relationship, right? Because that that communication that happens ahead of time is also a little bit of like foreplay, right? You're talking about, hey, what are some of the things that we want to do? And what equipment needs to be there, and fantasizing about the possibilities, but also, you know, are we going to use what kind of protection are we going to use and who's getting tested to XYZ?

SPEAKER_01:

Right. It is so true. It's like the greatest foreplay. I mean, it really is like getting to text and thinking when you start thinking about it, and you're trying to write something at work and you're just thinking about it, you know, and then like you've had this multiple hours worth of lead up often before you even get to the space.

SPEAKER_00:

These days. Sometimes these play parties are planned weeks and ahead. Like in my experience, I've gone to, I've gone to some, believe it or not. You know, you get the lead up text inviting everybody. In my experience, there's also oftentimes sort of a pre-play party dinner where it gives everybody an opportunity that's non-sexual to like meet each other and know who might be there. And then, you know, the planning. And I think that that is a lot of foreplay, which is exciting. So they've got the invite. The people who are listening right now, if you've got the invite, I think it's fair for one of the first things come to mind is oh my god, this is so exciting. But then you have that moment where you're like, oh, what about safety? What about health? What if someone has an STI? What if they get tested, but that you know, something hasn't been caught? Because there are certain things that don't show up on STI to all of that stuff. How do I stay safe? How do I stay safe is a big question. So let's go over the basics for that. How do we set up a play party to both be sexy and safe? You went over some of the safety options. I hadn't even heard of some of them. Right? I I've heard of everyone's heard of condoms, but I didn't realize there were options for ones that transfer heat. And like I know you named off a whole bunch of options that condoms I I know there is the female condom. I've used one once. But what are some things that people can start thinking about when it in terms of keeping themselves safe? What's the reality? And then what are some approaches?

SPEAKER_01:

Sure. So one of the main things I or often recommend is if you're a person that has a penis and struggles with condom fit, and often at least the people that I've now talked to, just hundreds of people, if not the most by this point, is I just know that it feels it's like it's either too tight or it's too loose and it always falls off, or it's just too small, then really checking for a better condom size. And I've been saying, just go get a different condom size for years. I've been doing sex ed since I was in college 20 years ago. And but at the time, like most condoms were always the same size. So that was like telling somebody, oh, you don't like the shoe size, just go to the store and get a different size shoe. But all shoes are size seven at that store, right? So that's why seven years ago, we launched something called My One Custom Fit that has 52 sizes, which most people at first are like, that's a lot of sizes. But it's 10 lengths from 4.7 to 9.3 inches, and then it's girth, the widths basically, that are from super snug to super wide. And what we find, it it really is a game changer for a lot of people. Because I've talked to people where like their entire life they had been holding on to a condom during sex because it's simply so big that it always falls off. And actually, the snuggest size out of all 52 has been the number one seller since we launched it seven years ago every month, right? So because my one kind of solves the challenge of actually having condoms that are shorter and tighter than regular condoms. Another major challenge that people have is condoms just feeling too small or too snug, and they can't keep an erection, right? No erection, it's kind of hard to have sex. And a lot of people in the past, like, I don't know if you've ever seen like on social media where they put a condom over the arm or their foot, and they're like, any guy who says that condoms don't fit them are a liar. I can fit this condom over my foot. Well, there's think difference, right, between a foot or an arm that has a solid bone in it and can withstand a lot of pressure versus a penis, right? If penises are, especially like even at a group play party and it's maybe it's your first time and you might get a little nervous and you might have a hard time keeping your erection in general because of what you might be going, you might be a little nervous, right? And then you put on a condom that's way too tight and it's just gonna strangle all the circulation away. And then you don't have an erection, right? And kind of so that's what we created my one. And that's why I encourage people like if you've given up condoms because you're like, they just simply don't fit me right, and I hate them, I understand. But it really like, go check out my one. We have a lot of sizes, we have sample kits that people can test out. We even often have couples. I once taught at a plate party, like where I brought all the fit kit measuring tools that we have and they kind of measured each other, and then I had a bunch of samples for them to try out. So, you know, condom fit is one of those big things that's even at a lot of play parties, they have lubricants, condoms, but I always encourage people to bring something that they know works for them, right? And condom fit being important if you've given up condoms because they don't fit right.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. And I think so. The big question going into play party is a condom a must-use product when it comes to safety. In my experience, at least when I have been in parties like that, if and I'm gonna be honest, I was having more sex with women. I wasn't with a lot of guys in those situations, but I was with a couple. And for me, it was like, yeah, you don't go like you are wearing a condom with me. Right. Right? But so would you say that that's a general rule at most play parties unless like a couple is having sex with each other and they've already, you know, they're a couple, so they've agreed to not use protection.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I would say it's mostly the norm or like expect to use a condom unless it's a couple, unless it's like pre-discussed ahead of time. Sometimes like friends go with their friends, right, to play parties and they're fine. It's I'm not here to tell anyone what risk you're willing to take and what you should do with your body or whoever you're playing with, right? Just understand what the risks are and understand that, yeah, if you're playing with a stranger, most of the time the assumption is that yes, you're gonna use a condom, right? And if somebody says, the one thing I will say, if somebody else says, I want to use condoms, don't be the person who's like, are you sure? I just, I just don't really like them. You know, don't if somebody says I want to use condoms, there's no negotiating whether or not we're using it, right? It's what kind are we using is the next question.

SPEAKER_00:

Who has them? Yeah, don't be that guy. Don't be that guy or a girl. I'll be I was in a situation where a woman wanted to use a dental dam on me to go down with me, down on me. I had never used one before. And I have to say it did give me more empathy for men, although I don't know what I was just having this conversation with a partner of mine about like I want, I wondered as she was going down on me with a dental dam if that was how if it was the equivalent to condom news for men, because I couldn't feel anything at all. I was like, let's not do this. This, this, like, there are plenty of other things we need to we can do. You don't need to go down on me because I can't feel anything. I'm not sure. Again, I don't know a lot about dental dams. You named a lot of protection that's out there. So outside of condoms, what are some of the safety options people can use? Obviously, STI testing in advance, correct?

SPEAKER_01:

STI testing in advance, yes. And then, like you mentioned, dental dams. And for those who might not know what it is, it's uh latex chi, or there's also a brand called Harmony that makes a non-latex dental dam if you do have a latex allergy, where it just looks like almost like a condom cut open and then it's put on somebody's vulva or their anus. So it's a barrier, just like if condom is a barrier between a penis and the genitals, it's a barrier, a dental dam is a barrier between someone's mouth and their genitals. So helps prevent STI transmission that can be transmitted through oral sex.

SPEAKER_00:

In my experience, I haven't seen barriers for oral sex be as common at play parties.

SPEAKER_01:

It's very true. I was even at a conference last week where even a lot of educators were like, what are you talking about? A dental dam? I have to now call them oral dams because dental just sounds so medical, unless, you know, that's part of your, you know, might be part of a scene or something. Oral dams, yeah. So I did a lot of demonstrations, even like showing people like what they are.

SPEAKER_00:

And my question is this do you think that that's less common? Well, first of all, we do know that the the the risk of transmission through oral sex is significantly lower than through vaginal or penetrative sex, whether that's vaginal or anal. Do you think that that's one of the reasons why we I think that's one of the reasons why?

SPEAKER_01:

And there's just not a lot of education, even what they are. And I will also say like, if you have like open cold sores or something like that, just make sure you're not giving oral sex to somebody else. Because sometimes people are surprised to learn that you can like transmit like oral herpes to somebody's genitals through oral sex. So if you do, especially if you have open cold sores, don't go down somebody else.

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe don't go to a play party until they're kissing anything.

SPEAKER_01:

They are just so contagious, right?

SPEAKER_00:

So going to play party, let's talk about the STI conversation. In your experience, is there typically a conversation about that in advance, or are people expected to bring their STI screening papers? What's what is your thought on that?

SPEAKER_01:

I think some people like to bring them. There's definitely conversations ahead of time. You have to also understand, like, you could get tested. And then depending on what activity you might be doing before you go to the play party, like there's all those things at play in terms of timing, who you might be having sex with, and chances where you could have transmitted something or gotten something. So I think for that reason, especially like just thinking about condoms, making sure you know you have also additional tools to help keep you safe is a good idea.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. Because you can go and get an SDI test. If you are right now getting ready for an upcoming play party and you're going to get an SDI test, that's great. It's a great layer of reassurance that you can give to the partners that you decide to interact with. But I would say also don't expect that just because you give them a clean test that they are gonna then say, okay, we don't have to use a condom, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Exactly. It's not like some passport, you know what I mean? Like I love that you put it that way. Yeah. Like people still have the right to ask for condom use, and like it's an STI test is great, but there's just so many other things to also think about, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00:

And I also think one way to vet play parties, because I've had different experiences. And what I have liked the best is when you go to one and they actually have a conversation at the beginning about consent and about safety. And then I've been to play parties where none of that happens. And it's like this free-flowing thing that just starts up. And I think that's a little more stressful, right? When you don't, for me, I like to know that everyone's on the same page. We understand consent is a thing that's happening, right? I'm not gonna walk into a room and you're gonna try and like put your finger up my vagina. What we've got consent happening, we have an expectation of safety and honesty. Some people will actually like have an open conversation about STI status ahead of time.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. It's yeah, just being able to have those conversations is so important. And like that, yeah, that there's this understanding that that's what's going. Because some people like go and it's new to them, and maybe they haven't had a whole lot of consent education. Like at this point in my life, I've been to so many conferences and education. I've taught education myself. So it's like the things that are involved in a lot of that education are so you know, natural. It's like you ask, you don't just jump in. But for somebody completely new, they might just, they might be coming with it with the expectation that it is okay to do XYZ or do XYZ. So I think at the beginning, everyone just setting, like, okay, here are kind of like the ground rules, what's going on. And then people say, aye, or whatever they want to say. I think that's that makes everyone feel a lot better.

SPEAKER_00:

And I think something that isn't often talked about, well, or it also has been, which I thought was a green flag, is the use of substances during play parties, right? I think it's important. It's okay to have like a drink of wine, a cocktail, but inebriation is is an unsafe activity in, well, most any sexual situation, but especially in a group situation. It's really important to keep a level of sobriety that allows you to environment, be aware of who you're interacting with. That above condoms, above dental dams, we'll get into some of the other safety measures. Above the consent talk is a general rule that people aren't getting absolutely wasted in a play situation. And I feel like that's a general expectation in a good play space, correct? It really is.

SPEAKER_01:

And then a lot of times it's like in the rules, right? Like we will ask you to leave if we can tell that you're clearly very drunk, right? And then ask yourself before you go, right? Like, if do if I feel like I need to drink like three, four, five, however many drinks to feel comfortable enough to be there, then are you like really ready mentally to go? Like, yeah, like you said, like have a glass of wine, take the edge off a little bit. But if you feel like you need to have multiple drinks and to feel pretty drunk to be able to be there and have fun, like maybe you're not quite ready to go. Or maybe you go and have a glass of wine, but then observe a little bit, you know, watch or don't participate or whatever. But like, yeah, if you feel like you need to be really drunk to be there, then you're probably just not ready to go.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. Right. And maybe instead of diving into a play party as your first experience, you can start with like a threesome or a foursome, or going to a sex club where, you know, I recently went with a friend who was experiencing a sex club for the first time. Love she was going into it, didn't know what to expect, and was like, okay, kind of re as I was my first time ready to walk into like a porn scene, a scene out of a porn video. And the reality is when you go into sex clubs, that's generally not at all what happens. It's underwhelming almost. It's like, where, where is the sex? You know, so it's kind of a great first experience in that you can choose, you can be in a general area where you can choose to go see the sex or dip dip your toe in the water. And that's also a nice step up to a play party where you've got a lot of people, more opportunity and different configurations of individuals having intimacy and or not. But the number one piece of advice I would give to stay safe is to stay more sober. You can have a glass of wine, maybe two, depending on how big you are. But staying sober, I it you cannot give consent if you're inebriated. I think that's a general standard.

SPEAKER_01:

100%, yeah. And I don't think you're also like experiencing more, right? Because your senses aren't dull. You're hearing all the sounds, time doesn't go as fast. You're really like watching and observing. So 100% agree with that.

SPEAKER_00:

More likely to have an orgasm. 100%, yeah. So there is that as well. I would like to talk about outside of condom use. Let's step away actually from actual condoms and stuff like that. That let's talk about what is the actual risk going into play party? I think that is truly what goes through people's mind. If I go to a sex party, what is my risk of contracting an STI?

SPEAKER_01:

It's such it's a good question, right? Like different STIs have different transmission rates. And it's interesting because even working in the condom company, like, we do get customers who are like, I had unprotected sex last night on accident or whatever. What are what is my percent chance that I have syphilis? And it's like really like something that I can give you as like a 17% versus 65%. It's kind of like if you're having sex with somebody, particularly if it's unprotected sex, there's always a chance. And I wish I could tell people like a better statistic, but then I encourage people to ask, like, okay, well, why are you asking the question? Because if you're it might be that you're worried, right? You're worried about contracting something. So if you're worried about it, then it's like maybe we actually flip the script and hate to bring it back, and not hate to, but bringing it back to condoms is like there's so many ways that you can take care of yourself, whether it's condoms or dental dams or whatever, to help reduce that risk. And then also help you feel more confident and more like in control of the situation, too. Because sometimes it's like if you're worried about STI transmission, there's things that you can do. But then if you are using the condoms or if you are using the protection, you're way less worried. That's what I always talk to people about. It's like helping your partner feel less worried about unintended pregnancy and STIs. Because when someone's less worried about that, guess what they're focusing on more? Is giving a better blowjob or having way more fun during sex or just having a better time? Because they're not, their brain isn't every four seconds or 10 seconds, like, oh, but uh, we're not using a condom. And you know, like what's gonna happen? What if this person, even though they gave me the STI paper, what if they still have something, right? Like helping somebody else feel more comfortable so they can focus on the fun parts of things.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. Pleasure. If you aren't the pleasure obsessed with catching an STI, you're gonna be able to focus on the pleasure in the situation, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Right. And there are still things like PrEP, which is the pre exposure pophylaxis or prep, which you can take after if you think that you've been exposed, right? And then something else about STIs is like understanding. That like people who do have an STI are not dirty. They're not bad people. They deserve pleasure just like everybody else, right? So sometimes I feel like the conversations around STIs also get kind of mean in a way. But it's like everybody deserves pleasure, right? So even if you do later get tested and you realize that you test positive for something, try not to panic, right? Because most STIs are either curable or there's treatments, right? You're still going to live a happy, healthy life. But also while remembering that they are all preventable, also, right? So Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And I think I guess I were it brings us to the destigmatization of STIs. It's sort of silly because we talk about it like curing, like this terrible thing you contract to cure. But most of them are just kind of like when you go and you kiss someone who has a viral disease or sickness, and then you have it, you have to go and get an antibiotic in 10 days it's gone. Right. By and large, most of the STIs are a bacterial disease that you got that you can get rid of with a 10-day or seven-day. I think it's usually 10-day antibiotic, right? Or I mean there are some that are permanent. We're talking about herpes. So many people have herpes of the mouth, and we don't stigmatize them because you can get it from kissing. You can get it through the birth canal, right? And herpes, it's just in a different, it's in a different area. And nobody wants to experience that. But again, if you are someone my age and you were raised in the age of AIDS, we were really programmed to be terrified of anything STI related to an extent that it made sex really miserable. But I want to go back to the safety aspect because I well, well, it's hard to give you can't really give percentages. What I can tell you is this the studies show that people who are a sex positive who tend to engage with multiple partners, whether through polyamory or sex parties, threesomes, whatever, they tend to have a lower STI rate. And it's because they are in the sex positive community where getting regular testing done is something that's very common. We're talking openly about your health status, isn't it a shame attached to it. Where using condoms or using different types of safety measures, it's common to have open conversations around it. It's common to come up with solutions. And it's just looked at very differently. Where a lot of the STI transmission happens actually tends to be in more monogamous relationships where cheating is happening and things are happening behind people's back, and it's hard to go get tested, and it's hard to have those conversations. So you see a difference in safety in those situations. Now you're looking at a play party where communication is like top priority, right? Planning is top priority. So we've already said that staying sober is your number one line of safety. I would say your number two line of safety is learning your no's and yeses. Because it can be really hard with anyone to say like no, especially when you're in a big play setting, like finding your voice so that if someone approaches you, and let's say you're really into them, and then they're like, I don't like the way a condom feels. You are feel free to say, hey, okay, then your dick stays over there. And, you know, look, there are other things you can do. You can use your fingers. We brought toys, we can, you know, whatever. But I'm I'm not going to have sex with you without a condom. Like really finding your voice is super important. It's not safe to go into situations like that if you don't feel like you can say what you need to start.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. To practice that really, even if you practice in a mirror, right? Like practice saying no, practice saying, here are my boundaries, here's what I'm into. I always find practicing out loud helps, anyways, but also in the situation, practice ahead of time, practice in the mirror.

SPEAKER_00:

Right, right. Find your voice. And then, ladies, people with vulvas, people who don't have penises, this is frustrating. But I I would like to say that it's on penis owners to have the condoms and the condoms that work for them. I would suggest have it bringing them regardless, so that if you do meet someone and they're like, I want to have sex with you, but I forgot to bring condoms. And usually there are condoms everywhere at these parties anyway. But I would just always have the ones that work for your body, right? Like I don't like latex. So I try to have condoms on hand that I'm not going to that are going to feel good to me, right? Yeah. Just in case. But also knowing your options. And so I want to take this time to go over more options. So we've talked about condoms. Can you really quickly run through the different type of condoms? Because again, I didn't even know about some of these options. But just so that listeners are aware of if you are wanting to go to a play party and you want, you know, you have to. You have to get a condom. You have to have some, or you're going to be stuck using the cheap kind that they have there, right? The Trojans, the Trojans. Let's be honest. Uh, what are all the options with the different condoms? And then we're going to move on to other sort of safety measures that you can bring with you.

SPEAKER_01:

Sure. So there's all kinds of different brands, but like, for example, under one condoms, the standard size that we have has different styles. Like we have a studded condom that's one of our most popular ones because it has like little raised studs that kind of simulate that stimulate the nerve endings, right? We have the custom fit condom line. And I'm so glad you also brought up non-latex, right? There's different materials that condoms can be made out of. And even I'm excited by the end of this year, early next year, the custom fit line is going to have a non-latex option because we've been hearing so many for years now that people want more non-latex options, especially different sizes. So my one's gonna come in a non-latex option. And there's different materials that non-latex can be. Nitrile is one. Then there's something called polyisoprene, like a the most popular non-latex condom right now on the market is probably skin. It's made from polyzoprene, which is very poly. Yeah. That's what I've used so far. And it's interesting, polyisoprene condoms are like they're made, they come from rubber trees, just like latex condoms do. It's just that they remove the proteins in the manufacturing process that would cause a latex allergy. Also, polyurethane, which is a form of plastic, like that's softened up. The reason polyisoprene is also cool because it has great heat transfer.

SPEAKER_00:

So that's the one you were talking about, the heat transfer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And then even if like Yeah, and even if you can't find like a great condom fit under our myelin line, despite its 52 sizes, there are still people who need a condom that's e like shorter and tighter or even longer or wider than what we have. So I often recommend the FC2 internal condom, right? Because you can use it vaginally or anally. And you it doesn't conform to penis size because it goes inside somebody else. So, and the great thing about the FC2 that's on the market, that's the only approved internal condom on the market right now, is that it's made of nitrile. So it's also a non-latex option if you do have a latex allergy.

SPEAKER_00:

So that would be what I would call the female condom, right? The one where it's so can you explain this? Because I don't think a lot of people have not heard of or used these. Can you explain how those work?

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. So there's a ring, it looks like a condom kind of turned inside out, and it's a little bit bigger in circumference. And the way you insert it into the vagina is you kind of squeeze, there's an inner ring on the inside, and you squeeze it almost like a tampon, and you put it in almost like a tampon, and it sits at the top of your cervix, and then it just stays in the inside of your vagina. There's an outer ring that's kind of hangs out on the outside of the vulva, and then, you know, someone inserts their penis toy or whatever inside, and it's just in the vagina or in the anus instead of on the penis. I will say that don't knock it after the first try. After, like, I had to try it a few times, right? Because it's just a way different experience when you you're wearing it. But the cool thing about it is I think that that inner ring is almost like a sex toy built in there because it rubs up against like inside. So that's also like a cool sensation. Some people don't like that sensation, but I personally do. So, but I would recommend if you try the internal condom. Another thing, definitely try it at home first.

SPEAKER_00:

Right, right. Okay. So that's an option. Are there any other options for safety products that we haven't talked about? Lube. Lube. Lube. What kind of lube is best to use with condoms and with toys at a play party?

SPEAKER_01:

So there's different types of lubricants. The lubricant that is on most condoms, fun fact, is silicone-based lubricant. But personal lubricants, there's silicone, water-based, hybrid. Some people use oil-based stuff, which I'll get to in a moment. Um, silicone, we have one called Moo. I'll show you. It's very this is my favorite lube. Not just because I work here, but because it generally is like an amazing lube. It because it's silicone, it lasts long, like for sex parties. So silicone is great because it lasts a little goes a long way. But you shouldn't use silicone with silicone-based sex toys because the silicone can bind to the sex toy and then cause the toy to kind of deteriorate on the surface. So if you are using at a play party toys, just make sure that the toy is compatible with the lubricant. Water-based is definitely the most common one. We have something called oasis, where it's compatible with toys, condoms, all the good stuff. And it absorbs into the skin a little bit differently than silicone, so you don't really have a lot of cleanup afterwards. Then hybrid is mostly a water-based formula, but a little bit silicone added so that you kind of get the benefits of both. We have something called Oasis Sill. We're also coming out later this year with the natural lubricant, and that's all I can really say, but it's very cool. It's like derived from mostly natural ingredients like aloe and stuff like that. And then some people use oil-based stuff, which might be like coconut oil is a popular thing that some people use. But the important thing to know is you cannot use anything oil-based, whether it's lotions or anything, anything that has oil with latex condoms, because it will cause the condom to break. Kind of a fun science experiment at home. I don't know what you consider fun, but like rubbing some kind of lotion on a latex condom and seeing how quickly it really starts to deteriorate and break. So just checking the compatibility of the lubricant you use with the toys and condoms you use is important.

SPEAKER_00:

All right, guys. So there it is. If I were to give you a to-go bag from this episode, things you need to know. Number one, be prepared to not be blotto, drunk as fuck, at a play party. So you're gonna have to do some like self-work and calm your nervous system and know you are in control going into play spaces. And most of them generally are going to be full of sex positive people who know the rules. Uh two, know the red flags. If you you walk into a play party and certain things aren't in place, first of all, you should see condoms strewn about. Hopefully, they kick off with a conversation that lists some rules. Maybe does a consent. There's a consent talk. I've definitely seen that. You see some of those basic things in place. So kind of list out the things you're going to look for, right? Practice your no's and your yeses and finding your voice. Those are going to be the three top things, safety-wise, to keep yourself safe. And then outside of that, know that you have access to all of these physical barriers you can bring. The condoms, there's so many different types. There's no excuse for someone with a penis not to be able to find a condom that will do the job, right? Maybe it won't feel as good as when it's bare, but it will feel pretty good. Also, recognize sex isn't just penetrative. You can go to a play party and have non-penetrative sex where there isn't that fear of, you know, play that comes from, you know, P and V sex or, you know, fluid exchange, genital fluid exchange. Sex is a broad topic, and there's so many, it's it's a broad activity, and there's so many things that you can do intimacy-wise at a play party, or you can do nothing and watch. You can be a watcher. That is something. There are, I call them female condoms, you call them internal con condoms. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And always have lube.

SPEAKER_01:

Always always bring lube, folks. Always bring lube. Because it is true, even with lube, like significantly reduces the chance of a condom breaking, also. So it's like the pleasure comfort aspect of lube, but also it really does help condoms from breaking. So lube and condoms, they're your best.

SPEAKER_00:

There you go. We have the right kind. Thank you so much for this conversation, Mila. Can you tell my listeners where they can find out more about you and about the condoms you represent?

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. So you can go to one condoms.com to check out all the different condoms. If you do one condoms.com slash my one, then you'll find the custom fit condoms, but they're all pretty easy to find on the website. And you can come check out some of our stuff on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn. Yeah. And it's just at one condoms, so it's very easy to remember.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you so much for joining us, folks. If you've gotten that invite and you're ready to go play, I'm sending you a personal congratulations. Just make sure you are prepared in advance. Prepared not only to enjoy yourself as much as you can, but to feel and stay safe. And you've been given a lot of information in this podcast that's going to help you do exactly that. Now go have fun. And fuck, remember, pleasure is your birthright. Go and get it. Right? Cheers to that. Cheers to that. So until next time, listeners, we'll see you in the locker room. Cheers. Bye. Right, Lou.