5 Beginner Kinks to Try This Kinktober (With Sexy Challenges)

Ready to heat things up this October? 🎃🔥
 Forget haunted houses—this Kinktober is about unlocking new thrills in the bedroom. In this episode of Talk Sex with Annette, I’m breaking down 5 beginner-friendly kinks you can explore right now, with a fun challenge for each one.

Here’s what you’ll learn:
 ✨ The science behind why spanking and impact play feel so addictive
 ✨ How chastity and tease/denial hack your brain’s reward system
 ✨ Why Dom/Sub dynamics build deeper intimacy and trust
 ✨ How erotic humiliation can be playful (not harmful)
 ✨ Ways to stack sensations for mind-blowing overload

I’ll give you easy “try it tonight” challenges, plus my favorite props and toy recommendations so you can experiment safely and with confidence.

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Chapters

• 1:30 New Name, Same Locker Room Vibe
• 2:21 Kinktober Overview + Nightly Challenges
• 3:27 Impact Play 101: Spanking Basics
• 8:08 Chastity, Tease, and Loctober
• 14:22 Power Exchange: Dom/Sub Dynamics
• 17:56 Erotic Humiliation: Safe, Playful Exposure
• 20:01 Sensation Overload: Layered Stimulations
• 23:00 Wrap-Up, Beginner Paths, and How to Connect

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:46

I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast formerly known as Locker Room Talk and Shots. The show has a new name, Talk Sex with Annette. But at its core, this is still your locker room. It's where we strip away shame, get curious, and speak the unspoken about sex, kink, dating, pleasure, and desire. Around here, nothing's off limits. These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats, our most trusted friends, and of course, the women's locker room. Think raw, honest, and sometimes unapologetically raunchy. If you've been here from the beginning, thank you. And if you're new, welcome to my podcast where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power. Now, let's talk about sex. Cheers. Ranglo. Today's Talk Sex with the Net topic is five kinks to explore this Kinktober. And a challenge for each one. When's the last time you felt that rush of trying something brand new in bed? The kind of thing that makes your whole body buzz just from the anticipation. Well, this is your moment. October isn't just about haunted houses and pumpkin spice. It's also about kinktober, a whole month dedicated to exploring new flavors of intimacy. Think of it like erotic trick-or-treating. You get to open the doors, peek into fantasies, and maybe leave with a few favorite kinks you never expected. Today I'm giving you five kinks to try this kinktober. I'll break each one down, what it is, how to get started, what to do and not to do, and the science behind why it works. And I'll give you fun kinktober challenges to try every night. And don't worry, I'll also suggest sexy equipment and props that will help you level up each kink. And if you want my step-by-step guides, an extended list of kinky equipment to try, make sure you're signed up for my newsletter. I'll be sending them out all month long. So I also want to remind you at this point that I'm over on OnlyFans, and there I am sharing my sex and intimacy, demos, how-tos, audio guided self-pleasure meditations. And I'm now offering some one-on-one coaching options over there. If you're not ready to commit to a full erotic coaching regimen, you can have your one-off questions answered over there. You can find me there with my handle at talk sex withinet. You can also find me over on Substack doing a whole lot of the same, minus the coaching and the how-to demos. And you can find me there with my handle at TalkSex withinet. Of course, you can scroll down to the links below in the description of this episode. You're gonna find links to everywhere you want to find me and my newsletter there where you can sign up. So check it out. And I'm excited to see you in my other spaces. But for now, let's get started with five kinks. You gotta try this kinktober. Let's dive in. Cheers. Kink number one, one of my favorites, spanking and impact play. So what is erotic spanking? Spanking and impact play are probably the most recognizable kinks because they've crossed over into the mainstream from movies to memes. At its core, spanking is the erotic use of striking, usually with a hand, but it can extend to paddles, floggers, crops, or anything that delivers a mix of sting and sensation. So what makes it kinky isn't just the strike itself, but the psychological dance around it, the anticipation, the sound, the contrast between pain and pleasure. It can be playful and lighthearted, like a cheeky slap during intimacy, or it can be ritualistic and structured, part of a DOM sub-dynamic. Impact play taps into primal energy, letting partners explore intensity in a safe and consensual way. Here's how to give it a try. Start light, always with consent. But cheeks and thighs are safe, fleshy zones. Think percussion, smack, stroke, pause. The pause is where the anticipation builds. Mix firm swats with gentle touches so the nerves light up in contrast. Here are some do's and don'ts. Do have conversation first. Safe words matter. Don't hit the lower back or tailbone. Do add variety. Light taps, quick swaps, surprising timing. That's the secret ingredient to really good spanking. And here is the science that backs up why it's so exciting to bring into the bedroom and worth trying this Kinktober. Impact Play releases adrenaline and endorphins. That combo gives the same high marathoners chase. Well, only sexier because you're also mixing in trust, anticipation, and intimacy. So here's your Kinktober challenge. Give your partner five spinks, each one unique. Maybe start with a tap, then a sharper sting, then a surprise pause, then a crusk, then an unexpected final one. See how much the unpredictability turns them on or off. It also gives you the opportunity to explore different impact sensations. Partners will often prefer one to the other. For instance, someone might prefer the slap of a hand delivering a spanking. Some might like the thud of a heavy flogger. Some may like the sting of bamboo. There is a whole world of sensations to explore when you bring spanking into the bedroom. So here are some of my toy or prop recommendations. First of all, you're going to want to start with, well, beginner paddles and beginner floggers. You can find a variety over at lovehoney.com where you can also keep the price low as you experiment with my code EXPLORES15, where you get 15% off. Now, if you sign up for my newsletters, I will be sending you some of my picks for floggers I've personally gotten and used in my own exploration so that you don't waste time getting floggers or paddles or other instruments that are going to fall short of you and your partner's expectation. And of course, listen. Keep it simple. Your hand is free, portable, and always ready. And frankly, it's one of my favorite spanking instruments to this day. Nothing feels quite as satisfying as your partner's hand, delivering both pleasure and punishment. Kink number two that I want you to give a try this kinktober is chastity and tease slash denial. This is your Lochtober special. Now, first of all, I want to remind you that I have done many, many podcast interviews and episodes on Lochtober. I also have lots of articles I've written, and I'm going to be sending them all your way this month. So again, sign up for those e-newsletters because those are going to be coming up. But also scroll down to the description of this episode, and I'm going to pop some of those in there for a quick reference. But let's talk about it. What is chastity? What is tease and denial? And how does that look for this upcoming month? Chastity is one of the oldest and most misunderstood kinks, and Locktober has made it newly famous. At its simplest, chastity is about controlling when and how release or the big O happens. That might mean putting off climax for hours, days, or even longer, or physically restricting it with a chastity cage. For penis owners, cages prevent erections and release, creating a constant state of sexual frustration that heightens desire. For vulva owners, might mean denial through toys, app control devices, or rules a partner enforces. The erotic thrill comes from the power exchange, giving up control of your orgasm or holding the keys to someone else's. What makes chastity hot isn't just the denial, but the psychological tension, the teasing, and the eventual explosive reward. So here's how you can give it a try. Level one is edging. Bring yourself or your partner close, then stop. Do this two or three times before allowing yourself or them to have the big O. That's right. You can play with denial and chastity with yourself. You don't have to have a partner. Let's move on to level two: a rule-based denial. Maybe only one person gets to decide when release happens, or maybe you go 24 hours with no finish. Then we're gonna move on to level three: cage play. Penis owners can wear chastity cages made of silicone, metal, or plastic. They prevent full erections, making arousal deliciously frustrating. Vulva owners can try app control toys. And I'm going to have a list of those toys. And with these toys, your partner gets control of them when you have them on, when your pleasure is given, when it's stopped, and when you get to enjoy the big finish. Now, if you're not sure about where to start with chastity cages for a penis owner, I have a full guide on how to choose the cage, how to measure for it. So don't worry, I've got you covered. Now let's go over the do's and don'ts. Do' start small. Even a few hours of denial can feel intense. Don't force denial without agreement. This is definitely a consent-based kink. And then do keep it playful. The point is teasing, not punishment, unless that's been negotiated. So here's the science behind why this is a kink that is literally booming right now. Dopamine spikes the heart is during anticipation, not orgasm. That's why denial makes the eventual release feel explosive. Chastity literally hacks the brain's reward system. So here's your kinktober or locktober challenge. Try a 24-hour chastity game. That could mean edging without release, or if you're bold, trying a cage for a day. Journal how it changes your desire. Share it with your partner. So here are some toy and prop recommendations. First of all, a beginner-friendly chastity cage is the chef's kiss if you really want to dive in. Again, I have a bunch of guides for finding the right one and getting it sized. Now, for Volva owners, again, we're going to be looking at those app controlled couples toys. WeVibe has a whole bunch of them. I have a code Explores15 for 15% off, but I will be sending out a list of some of these partner-controlled toys for your enjoyment to try if you want to this month and hopefully beyond. Kink number three is almost a must for a kinktober. It is the Dom subdynamic. Now, don't run away. Don't say no way. Hear me out. So what is it? Dom subdynamics are the backbone of most kinky play. It's not about whips and chains. It's about power exchange. One partner takes control as the dominant, Dom, and the other surrenders as the submissive or sub. This can look like giving commands, setting roles, or even deciding what the other wears. It can be soft and nurturing, think dom, giving firm but caring orders, or it can be strict and disciplinary. The erratic charge comes from stepping into roles that exaggerate control and surrender. For many, being the sub is freeing. You don't have to make decisions. You just follow. For others, being the Dom is empowering. You get to lead, to guide, or orchestrate. What makes Dom sub plays so versatile is that it can be as subtle as saying, yes, ma'am, or yes, mistress, or yes, sir, for an hour, or as elaborate as a full lifestyle dynamic. You get to choose. So here's how to give it a try. For one evening, assign roles. The Dom makes the decisions where to set, what to wear, when to touch, how to touch, and the sub surrenders to the rules. You can even play with phrases like yes, sir, or yes, ma'am to heighten the vibe. So here are some do's and don'ts. Do negotiate roles and boundaries. Everyone's got to be on board. Don't assume your partner knows how to play the part. This is gonna be trial and error. It's gonna be some play. It might feel awkward at times. That's part of the fun. Do try both roles. Each offers a different thrill. It will give you a chance to understand each other's experience, and maybe you'll each settle into your favorite role. Or maybe you'll find, depending on the day, you'll want to switch it up and keep things unpredictable. So here's a science behind why the DOM sub roles and dynamic are so exciting in the bedroom. Being the DOM floods dopamine, the reward chemical that feels so good. While being the sub spikes oxytocin, that bonding hormone. That's why both roles feel completely intoxicating in different ways. So your Kinktober challenge is this: for one hour, let one partner control the pace. The sub's only rule, say yes to everything within your agreed boundaries. Here's your kinktober challenge. For one hour, let one partner control the pace. The sub's only rule, say yes to everything within your agreed boundaries. Toys and prop recommendations, pretty simple. A simple blindfold or silk tie can add that chef's kiss to the entire experience. You don't need to go crazy. Again, you can level it up with spankings, your floggers, your paddles, or your reward denial with the couple's vibrators and toys, but really I would just start with one person being in charge and calling the shots. That's super sexy all on its own. And it's a great place to start. Kink number four. Erotic humiliation. Bear with me. Don't run away. Don't shut me off. Just hear me out. So what is it? Erotic humiliation is one of the most taboo kinks. And one of the most misunderstood. Listen, it's not about tearing someone down. It's about using embarrassment in playful, erotic ways. Think of it like blushing with a blindfold on. The vulnerability becomes a turn on. Erotic humiliation might look like begging, being teased, or being made to say something embarrassing but sexy. The arousal comes from being exposed, but in a safe, consensual way. When done right, it creates intensity, intimacy, and a sense of doing something naughty together. The key difference between humiliation and harm is intent. The goal is to turn someone on, not tear them down. So here's how you can give it a try in a safe way that feels good. Ask your partner to beg for a kiss or playfully taunt. You want this so bad, don't you? Say please. The thrill comes from exposure and vulnerability. So here are some do's and don'ts. Do keep it light and sexy. Don't use real insecurity or wounds. That's a hard no. Do check in often. Safety is what makes it arousing. Here's the science behind why the humiliation kink is such a turn. Shame and arousal overlap in the brain. When combined safely, embarrassment transforms into excitement. The blush, the laugh, the vulnerability, it's all erotic fuel. So here's your kinktober challenge. Tonight, ask your partner to admit a fantasy or desire out loud. Notice how the blush makes it hotter. And finally, kink number five, you gotta give it try, this kinktober. It's sensation overload. So what is it? Sensation overload is the art of stacking multiple sensory experiences until the body is buzzing with stimulation. Unlike simple sensory play, like using a feather or blindfold, overload means layering. Cold with heat, vibration with sound, pressure with softness. The kink here is about pushing the body into a place where thought disappears, and the only option is surrender. It can look playful, blindfold, ice cube, vibrator, or it can be more advanced with clamps, wax play, or toys designed to overstimulate. At its core, sensation overload is about intensity and presence. It forces your mind out of distraction and straight into the raw feeling. So here's how to give it a try. Start with one contrast. Ice cube, warm breath, then add another layer, vibration, add sound, a toy buzzing loud enough to be heard. Layer sensation until the body is overwhelmed, but in the best way. Here are some do's and don'ts. Do layer slowly. Don't overwhelm with chaos. Build gradually. Do give aftercare. We're talking blankets, puddles, words of reassurance. And here's the science behind why this is such a turn on for people. Overloading senses narrows focus like meditation. That narrowed focus spikes dopamine and drunk, locking you into the present. We all know how hard that can be. So your King Tober challenges. Pick three senses tonight: blindfold for sight, ice cubes for touch, buzzing vibe for sound. Stack them and see how much harder it is to think about anything else but what's happening in your body, and how much easier it is to just feel. Some toy and prop recommendations. I'm gonna suggest the Wee Vibe Melt for sound and section, uh, and add a blindfold and then play with an ice cube or get a little daring with skin safe candles. I've got my favorite one here from Eye of Love. It's the matchmaker. You light the candle, it warms up, and then you can drip it all over the body. This one is actually going to give you some bonus points because it's packed with pheromones. So that attraction you're feeling is going to elevate real quickly. If you want to find out more about both these products and receive my discount codes, of course, you can scroll down to the notes below. I'm going to be sending you guides all month long, folks. This is going to be one of the kinkiest, funnest months of the year. You're going to look forward to it every year, I promise. I know I certainly do. I'm gearing up right now. So there you go. You have five kinks to explore this kinktober. Spanking, chastity, dom sub dynamics, erotic humiliation, and sensation overload, each with a little challenge to make it real. Look, I know that some of these kinks you've heard about before, and maybe you've been like, no way, that's too much for me. But I've given you some really beginner-friendly, vanilla-ish ways to dip your toe in the water and try something new that can really change your whole intimate life. So I hope that you'll embrace the opportunity to try these little challenges and just see where it takes your intimate life starting tonight. Kink doesn't have to be extreme. It's about curiosity and it's about saying, what if? And then daring to follow through. It's a little adventure. Why not, right? Give these kinks a try and then let me know how they go. You can drop your experience in the comment section below this video. If you're on my YouTube channel at TalkSex withinet. If you are an audio listener, you can head over to my YouTube channel or you can email me at Annette at talksexwithinet.com. Also, if you are looking for a wingwoman, a cheerleader, if you will, or a coach in your sex and intimacy journey, my books are open. You can find out more about that at Annette at talksexwithanet.com. And of course, you can give my coaching a try without a full commitment by heading over to my OnlyFans page. That's at TalkSex with the Net on OnlyFans. Um, and you can ask me one off questions there. Welcome to Kinktober. I'm ready to have fun with you all month long. So until next time, stay tuned, and I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.