What to Do Before Sex So She’s Already Craving You

Before you even touch her, you can have her thinking about you, craving you, and pulling you closer.
In this episode of Talk Sex with Annette, I reveal the exact blueprint for what to do hours before sex so she’s already turned on and fully invested when you get to the bedroom.

✅ The psychology & science of building anticipation
 ✅ Step-by-step moves that work without crossing her boundaries
 ✅ Common mistakes men make that kill her desire instantly

Whether you’ve been together for years or you’re just starting to date, these tips will change the way she experiences you — and the way she remembers your time together.

⏩ Watch next: What to Do After Sex to Make Her Crave You → https://youtu.be/_fWyLBt3xJo

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Talk Sex with Annette
• 2:22 The Science Behind Anticipatory Pleasure
• 4:39 Starting Hours Before: Mental Triggers
• 7:15 First Moments & Touch With Intention
• 10:26 Slowing Down & Creating Connection
• 12:56 Maintaining Desire Between Encounters

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:45

Do the sex. I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast formerly known as Locker Room Talkin' Shots. The show has a new name Talk Sex with Annette, but at its core, this is still your locker room. It's where we strip away shame, get curious and speak the unspoken about sex, kink, dating, pleasure and desire. Around here, nothing's off limits. Pleasure and desire Around here, nothing's off limits. These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats, our most trusted friends and, of course, the women's locker room. Think raw, honest and sometimes unapologetically raunchy. If you've been here from the beginning, thank you, and if you're new, welcome to my podcast, where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power. Now let's talk about sex Cheers.

Speaker 1: 1:38

Today's Talk Sex with Annette topic is what to do before sex. So she's already craving you If you want her so turned on, she's practically pulling you into the bedroom. It starts way before you've ever touched her. The best sex starts hours before you touch her and most people men in particular miss that entirely. And if you are skipping this part, you are setting yourself up for sex. That's maybe, maybe good, but never unforgettable. Most guys think foreplay is a few minutes of kissing right before sex. Big mistake, the kind of foreplay that makes her crave you begins the moment she walks in the door and oftentimes hours and hours before. And look, I'm not talking about vague, be romantic advice. I'm talking about moves backed by real science dopamine, oxytocin and, of course, what I've learned from coaching men, especially on how to create sexual anticipation so strong she's the one reaching for you. By the end of this, you'll have a step-by-step blueprint for building that craving the science behind why it works so you can do it with confidence. And the biggest before sex mistakes that kill her desire instantly, so you never make them again. But before we dive in, I want to remind you that I'm over on OnlyFans and there I'm sharing my sex and intimacy how-tos, demonstrations and audio guided self-pleasure meditations all so you can start having better sex and intimacy tonight and, of course, more orgasms. And you can also find me over on Substack doing a whole bunch of the same, and you can find me in both places under my handle at TalkSexWithAnette. And, of course, you could scroll down to the links in the description of this episode and you're going to be able to find me wherever you want to find me. I'm looking forward to seeing you there.

Speaker 1: 3:40

Look if you want her craving you before sex, you need to know exactly what to do and what will kill the mood. So let's dive in. Let's talk about how to make her crave you before you even touch her Cheers. Step one to the blueprint to how to make her crave you before sex is understanding the science. If you understand the brain, you can control the bedroom. Your goal before sex isn't just to turn her on, it's to create something called anticipatory pleasure, the sweet spot between wanting and having. We all know that sweet spot. We want to be there and we want to get her there. When you build anticipation, her brain releases dopamine. This is the chemical that makes her think about you, want you, and chase the reward. At the same time, oxytocin, the bonding hormone, rises from shared eye contact, touch and connection. Dopamine makes her want you, oxytocin makes her trust. You get both going and she'll crave you on every level. When dopamine and oxytocin rise together, you're priming her to respond to you faster and more intensely once things turn physical. So step two to the blueprint to making her crave you before you have sex is you've got to start hours before you see her. If you wait until you're in the bedroom to turn her. You're already too late. The craving starts long before you're in the same room.

Speaker 1: 5:19

First, send her mental trigger. Midday, send something short and non-explicit. For example, that look you gave me last night that was dangerous. Or don't make plans tonight. I've got something in mind. If you want her thinking about you all day, plant the fantasy and let her imagination do the work. This works because her brain fills in the blanks with her version of the fantasy, and the fantasies we create for ourselves are far more powerful than the ones we're given.

Speaker 1: 5:55

So step three for the blueprint for making her crave, you before sex is tap into her senses. Say I keep thinking about how you smelled last time or the way your skin felt under my hands is driving me crazy. Trigger her senses and her body will react before you've even touched. Her Sensory memory is so strong that when you reference a smell, a texture or even a sound, her brain reactivates the original memory and her body can physically respond in real time. So what not to do? Don't send unsolicited explicit pics. You know the ones I'm talking about. They can kill anticipation. Don't double text If she doesn't reply right away. It shifts you from confident to needy, and here's why that's a problem. Neediness and over-persistence creates pressure. Pressure triggers the release of cortisol, your body's main stress hormone, and cortisol and sexual desire do not mix well. Elevated stress hormones literally block the brain's arousal pathways. Nothing kills craving faster than pressure. Stress shuts down arousal.

Speaker 1: 7:14

Step four for the blueprint to making her crave you before sex is make the first moments count. The first five minutes you are with her set the tone for everything that happens next. When you greet her, hold her gaze, smile slowly and pause just for a beat before you kiss her. That half second pause before you kiss her that's pure sexual tension. That pause works because it builds dopamine. You're delaying gratification just enough to make her brain want the reward more. Step five to making her crave you before sex is touch with intention. Guide her through a door with a light touch on her lower back. Just thinking about that it makes me squirm. Let your fingers graze hers just a moment longer. When you hand her something, the lightest, most intentional touches will make her body want more of you. Those subtle touches activate her parasympathetic nervous system, the part responsible for relaxation and receptivity, that state where arousal flourishes. All right, now we're getting to the good stuff.

Speaker 1: 8:34

Step six to making her crave you for intimacy is show her you see, her Notice and acknowledge her choices her lipstick shade, her hairstyle, her perfume. When she feels seen beyond her body, your desire becomes irresistible. This kind of attention creates an emotional connection, and emotional connection primes the brain to release more oxytocin, making her more open to intimacy. Here's what not to do. Don't grab her sexually right away. It's jarring and it can create tension instead of desire. Don't talk about work, stress or bills. It pulls her brain into problem-solving mode, which suppresses arousal. Don't greet her while staring at your phone. It sends the message you're distracted and unavailable. Presence is one of the biggest turn-ons you have, so don't blow it by staring at your phone.

Speaker 1: 9:35

Step seven to making her crave you before intimacy is slow it down before you start. This is the moment that turns sex into I need you now. Sit close, let your knees touch and hold her gaze. If you want a little pro move, slide one of your knees in between hers and really connect. That is hot. It sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it. The slower you go now, the hotter it gets later. Slowing down increases contrast, so when you finally escalate, the shift feels electrifying.

Speaker 1: 10:17

Step eight to the blueprint for making her crave you before intimacy is use the whisper, lean in and whisper in her ear. I've been thinking about this all day. I want to take my time with you. A whisper at her ear is primal. It bypasses her brain and goes straight to her body. Whispers are intimate because they activate the vagus nerve, which connects directly to pleasure and relaxation responses in the brain.

Speaker 1: 10:51

Step nine of the blueprint to making her crave you before intimacy is make her close the gap. Pull back just slightly and let her move in to kiss you. Pull back just slightly and let her move in to kiss you. When she's the one closing the distance, she's chasing you and craving you more. That subtle shift puts her into pursuit mode, which ramps up dopamine even more. What not to do here? Don't rush to undress her. Don't ignore her cues and pace. Moving too fast creates performance pressure and again, that releases cortisol which shuts down the sexual desire. If you ignore her pace, you break the spell you've just created. So here we are at step 10 of the blueprint for making her crave you before intimacy.

Speaker 1: 11:39

Keep the energy alive between encounters. People who keep women craving them. Don't just turn it on for the night. They live it every day. Look at her with the curiosity you had when you first met. Make her laugh before you. Make her moan Be consistent so she knows this is always the experience she gets with you. When she knows you'll bring this energy every time, she'll start craving you on site and hours before Before sex.

Speaker 1: 12:12

Buildup is a secret to sex that she can't stop thinking about. Show up for the buildup and that's why she'll want you again and again and again when you get this right. She's not just waiting for sex, she's replaying every moment leading up to it in her mind over and over. So tonight don't just show up for the act, show up for the buildup. And when you're ready to take it even further, watch my episode what to Do After Sex to Make Her Crave you Even More. So go and give this a try and then report back and tell me how it goes for you.

Speaker 1: 12:45

If you have questions or comments about this episode, please feel free to drop a note in the comment section if you're on my YouTube channel at TalkSexWithAnnette, if you're an audio listener, of course, you can go over to my YouTube channel and you can comment there, or you can email me at Annette at TalkSexWithAnnette. If you are an audio listener, of course you can go over to my YouTube channel and you can comment there, or you can email me at annette at talksexwithannettecom. Send me your questions, your comments, your thoughts and, of course, if you are looking for a cheerleader, a wing woman, someone to coach you through your intimate encounters or in your own journey to experience more pleasure yourself, my books are open. You can find out more about that at TalkSucksWithAnnettecom. Of course you can email me, dm me. I'd love to help you out. Okay, listeners, until next time I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.