Talk Sex with Annette
Talk Sex with Annette
Where desire meets disruption—and pleasure becomes power.
Hosted by sex and intimacy coach Annette Benedetti, Talk Sex with Annette is the go-to podcast for bold, unfiltered conversations at the intersection of sexuality, identity, and empowerment.
From kink to connection, self-love to sexual healing, Annette dives into the topics most people are too afraid to touch—with expert guests, raw storytelling, and a feminist lens that challenges shame and reclaims pleasure.
Think smart, sexy, and radically real: this is the cultural conversation around sex that’s long overdue.
Talk Sex with Annette
Best Best Sex Positions for Real Bodies & Better Pleasure
Looking for sex positions that actually feel good—not just the ones you see in magazines or corn?
In this episode , I’m joined by therapist, and author Suzannah Weiss to break down the truth about what makes a sex position great—for your body, your pleasure, and your real life.
Whether you're dealing with size mismatches, limited flexibility, queer pairings, or past discomfort in bed, this conversation is packed with insights, adaptations, and expert advice that actually work.
We cover:
✔️ The best positions for cl*toral stimulation, deeper connection, and strong orgasms
✔️ What to try if you have a larger or smaller p*nis
✔️ Positions that support comfort after injury or during pregnancy
✔️ Queer-friendly positions for v/v
✔️ How to modify classic positions for real bodies
✔️ Tools, toys, and furniture that can help
✔️ How to know when a position isn’t working—and what to do instead
This isn’t about performance. It’s about pleasure that fits you—your shape, your needs, your turn-ons.
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Cheers!
Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here. Nothing's off limits. These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats, our most trusted friends and, of course, the women's locker room. Think raw, honest and sometimes unapologetically raunchy. If you've been here from the beginning, thank you. And if you're new, welcome to my podcast. Where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power. Now let's talk about sex Cheers.
Speaker 1:Today's Talk Sex with Annette topic is the truth about the best sex positions, finally explained. Let's be honest, If you've ever Googled what's the best sex position, you weren't just looking for a name. You were looking for a shortcut to mind-blowing sex. You want a position that actually feels good for both of you, Something that doesn't just get the job done but builds heat, builds connection and leaves you both aching for round two. But here's what no one tells you. The best position isn't about flexibility or porn moves. It's about fit, chemistry, pressure, access and, yeah, sometimes it's about adapting when things don't line up perfectly, whether that's because of body size, shape, energy or because you've got two volas and you don't know what to do with them. That's why I brought in Susanna Weiss, sexologist, therapist and one of the most widely published writers in the sex education world. You've seen her work in the New York Times, Glamour, Teen, Vogue and over 8,000 other places. She's also the author of Subjectified and Eve's Blessing, two books that challenge everything we've been taught about women, objectification and pleasure.
Speaker 1:In this episode, we're going to get real about what makes a sex position good or secretly awful, how to navigate size differences, discomfort or this just isn't working moments and the best positions for deeper connection, stronger orgasms and bodies that don't follow heteronormative scripts. Whether you've got a penis, a vulva or working with two of the same, we've got something for your body, your bedroom and your pleasure. But before dive in, I want to remind you that I am over on OnlyFans and there I'm sharing my sex and intimacy how-tos and audio guided self-pleasure meditations, along with so much more. I'm also over on Substack doing a whole lot of the same. You can find me in both places under my handle. At TalkSexWithAnette, you can also scroll down to the notes section of this episode and you're going to find links to wherever you want to find me for whatever you want to find me for. And now, Susanna, I would love to give you an opportunity to tell my listeners a little bit more about you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, you pretty much covered it. I am a writer, an author of two books about sexual empowerment and many articles, as well as a psychotherapist, sex therapist and sex educator, as well as a birth doula. You can find more info about me at my website, SusannaWeisscom.
Speaker 1:There you go, plenty of places to find her and listeners. I want you to stay to the end because in this episode you are going to have a chance to learn how to adapt or try positions that are going to change your sex life. If you have ever and I know you have, don't lie to me. I know you've had a moment where you're like this feels awkward or that's too deep, how do I make it not hurt? Or I can't feel this well enough. By the end of this episode you're going to have ways to adapt. You're going to have a lot of your questions about what's the best sex position, so that you can go and bang out some great ones after you listen to this. So stay to the end for all of the information. I'm ready to talk about sex and sex positions. How about you, susanna?
Speaker 2:I'm ready.
Speaker 1:All right, Cheers. Let's talk about how to enjoy the best sex positions for your sex life. I want to start with Susanna. What are the fundamentals that actually make a position good physically, psychologically and emotionally?
Speaker 2:in magazines, but most people kind of cycle between some variation of missionary, doggy style and cowgirl and possibly side sex such as spooning. What really makes a sex position good, I think depends on the person's preference. For women who need clitoral stimulation, a position that leaves the clitoris available for manual stimulation or stimulation with a toy is often recommended. I often recommend a position I call kneeling missionary, where you are on your back and your partner's kneeling in front of you and it's like missionary, but there's room for you to play with your clit or your partner too. There's also a position called the coedal alignment technique, which is like missionary, but the partner with the penis or dildo is moved forward so that their pubic bone or the base of the penis is grinding against the clitoris.
Speaker 2:Dom sub-dynamics may play into it. Like, if someone wants to feel dominant, they might enjoy being on tops. If someone wants to feel submissive, they might enjoy being on the bottom. But there's also ways to feel submissive on top if your partner is grabbing you and in control, or even dominant from the bottom if you're the one moving and controlling. So there's yeah, there's really no one size fits all.
Speaker 1:What makes a position bad? What are common traps people fall into, even with the so-called classics, and you just kind of went over those classics.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't say there are any bad positions. There are different positions for different bodies. So if someone say, has a really big penis, a missionary might be uncomfortable because then they're going in really deep. There's a tool called the O-nut that goes around the penis and shortens it so that doesn't happen. But if that's a problem, for the woman to be on top might be preferable if you're trying to do too much. But if you look at cosmo, for instance, there's a lot of positions like very acrobatic positions where you're, like you know, doing a handstand or whatever. So I could see that becoming dangerous. You know, do it at your own risk. Some people might enjoy the challenge.
Speaker 1:I was with a partner who had this fantasy about, well, woman in reverse cowgirl and kind of doing this backbend while the other woman was giving oral sex to both people. And even in my mind I'm like that's kind of hot. And then you get into the dynamics of it, the physical feat that must take place in order for at least the woman on top to make it happen. And it was like sometimes the idea maybe for a certain body that can do certain things it would be fine, but sometimes the idea much sexier or more conducive to orgasm than the reality. And I wonder if sometimes how we define good plays into what a good versus bad sex position is. So good can be fun, but not conducive to an orgasm, because when you're in a backbend, having an orgasm I am willing to say full throatedly is nearly impossible, but it was. You know it's an interesting feat, whereas, you know, other positions make orgasm much easier, especially for a female bodied person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it totally depends on the person's goals. There are many, you know, ways to orgasm, so if somebody orgasms during foreplay or after play, they may not need that in the position. A lot of people don't even orgasm through intercourse, so that's not necessarily what makes a position good either, can we?
Speaker 1:list some positions that are more conducive to the female orgasm, and I want to start with that, simply because we know there's an orgasm gap and that people with penises and men are more likely to access that orgasm really quickly. I know that you have already mentioned a couple of positions that give access to the vulva, but are there any other ones that you would say for a couple that and we're going to start with heteronormative we've got a penis and a vagina that are, you know, where the woman is having a hard time orgasming, what position it would be best for helping her experience an orgasm best?
Speaker 2:for helping her experience an orgasm. Yeah, like I said, the coital alignment technique you could Google that. That's when the person with the penis sort of inserts the penis in in missionary, then inches forward so the base of the penis is rubbing on the clitoris. There's one I call kneeling missionary, where you're on your back and he might be kneeling to penetrate you. Then you can reach down and touch your clitoris he can. Another one I might say is cowgirls.
Speaker 2:So people who can orgasm through G-spot or vaginal stimulation might prefer to be on top, because then they can completely control the motion and the depth and the speed and the angle, and all that so that they can actually move in a way that's conducive to orgasm for them. Some people, though, the position isn't necessarily the key to an orgasm. It might be, as I said, clitoral stimulation. So in any position I would recommend using a toy like the WeVibe Sync or the Dane Products Eva that can be worn during intercourse and that provides clitoral stimulation, such that you can orgasm pretty much any position if you're someone who orgasms through clitoral stimulation.
Speaker 1:So how can people figure out which positions are best for their bodies, whether that's about size, flexibility, trauma history or comfort?
Speaker 2:bodies, whether that's about size, flexibility, trauma, history or comfort, trial and error. You know, talking to a partner about what your preferences are, why, just like you said, why you might want to try a new position and just trying different things out and not taking it too seriously and not worrying if the penis slips out or whatever mishap happens. Just be playful and fun and curious about testing how different positions feel.
Speaker 1:Testing it out and knowing that there are going to be times when what you thought would be amazing turns out not to be so amazing. So let's talk about size mismatch, because I get a lot of questions from listeners about what is the best position for size, meaning penis size. I want to start with, because I have a lot of experience with this, somebody who is on the larger size what positions are best, especially if they're with a partner, where it feels painful to the partner, like they're going too deep and the largeness has now become a barrier to her enjoyment because it's causing pain. A common complaint from women with people who have larger penises is the cervical pounding that causes excruciating pain. So are there positions for people with large penises that can help avoid this kind of complication?
Speaker 2:can help avoid this kind of complication. The easiest way is for the woman to be on top so she can completely control the depth of penetration. To have even more control she could put a pillow under her butt so that it does not go in as deep when she moves downward. Their sideways positions aren't bad like the spooning position, because you won't get. You know, in doggy style or missionary you kind of have gravity, like moving the penis downward on the side.
Speaker 2:Someone can be a little more gentle. You can also experiment with a position like missionary, either putting your feet on your partner's chest to stop him from moving in too deep, or just say I'm actually going to do the moving, like get on top of me and stay still and then sort of undulate around the penis in the way you like. That can be a fun game to like see how long he can stay still. But some people I don't know, sometimes the instinct is to move. But really in any position you can just say let me move and you stay still so that I can control the depth.
Speaker 1:Right. So you also mentioned a toy or a product that helps protect with depth. Can you re-mention that and explain what it is exactly?
Speaker 2:Can you re-mention that and explain what it is exactly? Yes, the toy is called the O-Nut. So the O-Nut is it's like a little donut or there's a series of like donut plastic, donut shaped things that go around the penis. So when it like tries to go deep in the donut kind of stops it from going deeper. To go deep in the donut kind of stops it from going deeper. So that's good for people who have larger penises or people who have pain with sex due to a medical condition, that sometimes they can stop experiencing pain during sex just from experiencing less deep penetration.
Speaker 1:Now let's talk about people with smaller penises, so I'm talking about short, but also girth. I've gotten a lot of questions from people who have penises that aren't girthy and asking what positions are best for them.
Speaker 2:I would say missionary with your legs over your partner's shoulders can be a good way to get them in deeper. This can also help with girth, because your vagina is kind of scrunched in if you're putting your legs up. Especially that can help with death. If you kind of like drape both your legs over one shoulder and squeeze your legs together, that can like create a tighter fit In terms of girth. There are also versions of missionary where you can be lying with your legs together so that you're like squeezing the penis more.
Speaker 1:So there you go, guys. You ask me this question all the time. So for both the partner with the vulva, the woman and the man, there are different things you can do to overcome a size issue. I think for people with micropenises. Do you have suggestions for them? As far as positions go?
Speaker 2:For somebody with a micropenis, I would probably say something similar. I would also say having the person with the vulva on top could be better for them to, because it's not on them to like get into the vulva, um, and just getting really good with your mouth and your hands.
Speaker 1:Right and you can do a little bit of kind of grinding like the woman can grind, kind of like you would. If there's people with two vulvas and you're doing scissoring, there's also that kind of position. That can happen, and then the penis can be used for external pleasure as well be used for external pleasure as well.
Speaker 2:Also, it's unheard of for people with penises to use strap-ons. That might be a weird concept, but whether you have a micropenis or whether you just want to last longer than your erection does, you can actually use a strap-on and, you know, just put it over your penis.
Speaker 1:Right, that is true. I have heard of that. I've never experienced that, but I believe they have strap-ons that have like an open part inside where the penis can actually insert inside of it, correct?
Speaker 2:Yes, there are ones like that and I believe there that you could just use a regular one also and just like put it above the penis. It's also a toy called the Tenuto, the mystery vibe Tenuto. It like goes around the penis and vibrates during sex. That also might be something to check out.
Speaker 1:Right, and that would be pleasure for both people. That would be amazing. What are some tips and tricks to help make positions more comfortable if you have an injury or there's pain for some reason, whether that's an injury to the back, the hips, the neck?
Speaker 2:Using furniture can be helpful, such as pillows. There are pillows made specifically for sex, such as the Dane Products Wedge. You can also just prop yourself up with pillows. Some people like a pillow under their butt it depends on what the issue is. But toys can also be really helpful for people with any kind of mobility issue. It gets rid of the need to reach as much. You can get creative with like having sex, like sitting on a chair or the couch or sitting on the edge of the bed and also just letting your partner know that communication is very important. So they know like don't touch me like this, Don't bend my body like that, and experiment with different body movements um and experiment with different body movements.
Speaker 1:When I had some hip flexor injuries for a while, I would use pillows on my bed to be able to rest my knees on. I kind of butterflied open my knees. Then they could be supported by my pillows. Or having blankets you can roll up and use almost as you know, like little props for different areas of your body. Those are really quick and inexpensive solutions for giving your body support while your partner, hopefully, can maneuver around you depending on what the injury is. So some positions are physically satisfying but emotionally disconnected. What are your favorites for building intimacy while still feeling like physically hot?
Speaker 2:One position that allows for intimacy is called lap dance, where your partner is in a chair and you get on top, so your faces are close, and you a chair and you get on top, so your faces are close and you can kiss and you get the same kind of stimulation you get from cowgirl, so it's just like a more intimate version of woman on top. Another one the side sex position, is very intimate for a lot of people If you and your partner are facing each other on your sides and you can wrap your arms around each other and caress each other and kiss and move very slowly and it can be very romantic.
Speaker 1:Are there any positions that are maybe not traditional, that are perhaps kind of surprisingly romantic or connected or allow for more connection?
Speaker 2:There's a position called the yab-yam. It's a tantric position from the Kama Sutra. The man or whoever's like penetrating has their legs crossed, and then the woman or whoever's being penetrated also has their legs crossed and is on top, so their legs are wrapping around their partner's back, and then their arms also wrap around each other, and then you slowly move either back and forth or up and down while you're wrapped around each other, and that is considered very romantic.
Speaker 1:Are there positions that are better for different moods, like slow and sensual sex versus quickies, or like fast, hot sex?
Speaker 2:For a quickie. It depends on what the setting is. But if you are, say, sneaking into a bathroom or something dirty like that, you can a position where I'm going to use heteronormative terms for simplicity where the woman is leaning over something, whether that's like a sink or a bed, and just sticks out her ass and then the man, like you know, just grabs her and penetrates her. That could be like a very passionate, um, quickie kind of position and and can work in small spaces, like again, if you're sneaking to the bathroom or something like that, um, and the opposite would be if you're looking for something like slow and passionate, I would say something like the pretzel.
Speaker 1:I think we're on the same page with the pretzel. The woman would be laying on her back, but imagine bringing your knees up to 90 and then kind of taking them over to one side right, and then you're being penetrated by the man who's in front of you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so he's between your legs like missionary, but your hips are swiveled so that like one hip is on the bed, one is pointing toward the ceiling. It can give you this feeling of being taken and sort of help you explore a new angle of penetration.
Speaker 1:Actually, I've done a lot of it in my recent history and it's new for me. It's not something, actually that I had done very much before. A you're very, very right about that. I felt very taken in the position because it's not something I am in control of. You takes it and moves your legs into this pretzeled side swivel position. The other thing that I really like about it because I am a short girly is it keeps the depth from being for me too, because I got a big booty, so your butt kind and your hip kind of being there keeps the depth from feeling too intense. While they can still like thrust and sort of aka pound away and not go as deep. I feel like it hits, oddly enough, my G-spot pretty well as well, so that's a unique one. We've talked a lot about PNV or dildo-NV sex so far, but I want to talk really quickly about what about two people with vulvas or two women together. Do you have any suggestions for some of the best sex positions for two women?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, one that you described was scissoring that's probably one of the most well-known where they are like rubbing their genitals together with their legs out like scissors.
Speaker 1:Can we talk about? Can we? Can we just talk honestly about it though, because I think I've, even, I've, even I even have a past episode on it. Everyone's like do people really like scissoring? Scissoring is not an easy position. I, at least, not for me. I've given it many a goes, but can we talk about how positions that make scissoring good and easier?
Speaker 2:There is a toy that's specifically for scissoring. Have you heard of it? It's by Wet For Her.
Speaker 1:It's called the Rocker Duo Mini Scissoring Vibrator that apparently you wear over your vulva and it, like it, has an attachment that will also stimulate your partner's vulva, so that might make it a bit easier one thing that I have found pleasurable and I've used in the past, like it is still technically, scissoring is like taken like the wand and put it between the two vulvas so that there is that scissoring motion. But it helps because in order in my experience again, feel free to like enlighten me to how I could do this differently Scissoring creates almost a distance, a little bit of a disconnect, because your heads have to be the angle that it takes in order for two vulvas to come together is not conducive, in my opinion, to you being face to face or eye to eye. But if you put a wand between you, you can do that literally sitting up with one person's legs draped over the other one, the wand in between you and then you both enjoying like the vibrations from the wand.
Speaker 2:That's a good suggestion. Yeah, most scissoring tends to involve people on opposite sides of the bed. One could just be. One person is grinding between the other person's legs without it necessarily having to be in the scissor position, but just one person has their legs open and the other is just grinding against them.
Speaker 1:You can scissor on different body parts, Meaning you can grind your I guess that's not scissoring you can grind your vulva on different body parts of your partner, like their thigh or their legs, so on and so forth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there is a variation also where one person is behind the other. So one person has their legs sort of scissored and the other person kind of comes in behind them and grinds against them. That's also maybe not classic scissoring, but almost like spooning scissoring, where one person may be grinding against the other's leg more than the two vulvas together.
Speaker 1:Okay, interesting. And then, of course, you can always use strap-ons and do more sort of traditional heteronormative-ish positions. Yes, okay, any last. Suggestions for people with two vulvas Dramativish positions yes, okay, any last suggestions for people with two vulvas.
Speaker 2:I mean oral sex and fingering are always good, Like using sex toys. Toys are always great. There are a number of toys that people can put between two bodies. There's also one called the NB by Wildflower that you can sort of like put in between both your genitals and both rub again.
Speaker 1:I'd like to switch gears a little bit, because so far we've been talking about sex. In terms of penetrative sex, we've been in that very limited scope, I mean except for with the two vulvas. So I want to talk about some of the best positions for foreplay and oral pleasure. What are your faves?
Speaker 2:For oral sex. So for a woman receiving oral sex, the classic one is to just have your legs spread, obviously, and have your partner in between your legs. There's also one called the Keevan method. That supposedly makes it easier for a lot of women to orgasm where your partner is coming in from the side, so their tongue will be licking your vulva back and forth instead of up and down, because their mouth is like at a perpendicular or their whole body is at a perpendicular angle to yours and some women there was a whole viral Reddit thread about it Some women saying I always orgasm in like three minutes through this position. So it may depend on what someone's masturbation style is.
Speaker 2:I have a theory like if they rub the vulva from side to side, then that's more pleasurable for them, but it's worth trying. Another fun one, if you're into femdom or just feeling like the one in power, is if you are sitting on the bed or on a chair or a couch and your partner is on the floor and is looking up licking you, it can give the feeling of domination and submission or you can have complicated with penetration. But if you're, say, on the side of a pool or a hot tub and your partner is in the pool or hot tub, then they can. You can like sit on the side with your legs apart and they can swim up and give you oral sex from there, as long as there's no you know other people around or they're consenting there's no, you know, other people around or they're consenting Right?
Speaker 1:Obviously, yeah.
Speaker 2:What are your feelings about 69? A lot of people find 69 to be overrated because it's a lot of multitasking. So don't be worried if that's not your favorite thing. You know there is thought that needs to be put into, like getting the other person off, and then it may be hard to concentrate on what you're feeling. So don't worry if you're not into that or if that's something where you want to like do it for a minute and then switch to something else. You know it can also just be hot.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's, for whatever reason, something people always talk about as teenagers. Like the number 69, people giggle, so it almost like has that appeal to it, that taboo of like whoa. I used to like fantasize about this like as an adolescent, so I feel like that's part of its appeal. Yeah, I also feel like well, there are different ways to do it. I would experiment both ways, like if there's a penis and a vulva, doing it with the person with the penis on top, also trying it with the person with the vulva on top, like sitting on the face, and see which way works better works better.
Speaker 1:I love 69. I'm a fan, but I do know I hear oftentimes people say the same things that you do or that you just went over, that they struggle with that position. For those reasons I'm like, just don't think about it, just enjoy. I like that. For me, the vulva to like mouth, like sensation combination is really exciting. All right, so let's do some quick ones here. What is your top recommendation for? If you want to dominate someone? What position would you recommend for being in dom mode?
Speaker 2:If the female is in dom mode, sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's talk about a woman dominating whoever.
Speaker 2:The lap dance position would be pretty good for that, where you're like on top and they're sitting in a chair, because then you can sort of tease them and grind against them and, like you have your feet on the floor so you can like move in and out and maybe edge your partner. So that could be a good position for domination, in addition to the fact that you're on top.
Speaker 1:What about someone with a penis? Or a man? What about a man in?
Speaker 2:the dumb position. Doggy style is a good position for that Cause he can pull your hair, he can uh, spank you if you're into that, and you know, grab you and move you how he wants. Um, and that's also, some women like the sensation of the ball slapping against their clit, so that's another bonus of that.
Speaker 1:We have talked about positions that are more likely to make her have an orgasm, but what about him? What if you want to give you a hot, fast, big O?
Speaker 2:What would you say is a position that's conducive to being an absolute, for sure thing for him either standing or leaning forward against something like a wall or a bed and just let him grab you and take you. That can be very exciting for both people. Um, it's, I would say, a new position that you don't normally do. Could also like add that novelty that gets him very excited, or one you know. It depends, like what his turn-ons are. If he's very turned on, for instance, by your ass, then like one from behind would be good, or if it's your boobs, one where you're on top and he could see them. So ask him.
Speaker 1:What is the best position for people who have bigger bodies?
Speaker 2:The spooning position would be good for that, because there's no pressure against your stomach. They can enter you from behind and just caress you. There's. Also being on your back with your partner and kneeling is a good one, because, again and I also sometimes recommend that for pregnant people, like if your stomach is uh kind of up from pregnancy, there's plenty of room and, yeah, sex on your stomach could also be good for that, you know, just because all your partner has to do is get on top of you.
Speaker 1:It does seem like a doggy position, where your head is down and your butt is up higher, would offer easy entry from behind, regardless of you know how how much, how, how big a booty you got.
Speaker 2:Right and putting it might be helpful also to like put a pillow under your pelvis to sort of lift up your butt.
Speaker 1:Right, so you can relax. I always, if I'm in doggy position, I always put a pillow for support under my chest. Give me, take a little bit of the pressure off of my arms and my upper body. You know, to be able to lean into a pillow is always nice. What is the most underrated position in your mind?
Speaker 2:I think people see missionary as a very basic position. That's not that exciting, but some studies actually show that's the position women are most likely to orgasm in and that you know. There's so many variations of missionary. There's so many different things you can do with your legs, different things, different like angles from which a partner can enter. So I would say that for many people missionary is underrated.
Speaker 1:What is one of the most overrated positions in your book, One that everyone like or you see in the movies and everyone talks about, but when you actually do it, you're like ugh see in the movies and everyone talks about, but when you actually do it you're like ugh.
Speaker 2:The one I always see in sex position articles is wheelbarrow, where, like I think that's what people go to when they want to be adventurous. So it's like a woman like has her hands on the floor and a man like picks up her stomach, like picks up her body from her waist and penetrates her from behind. It's just very difficult to maneuver, so don't feel bad if you can't maneuver that one.
Speaker 1:That standing sex, like standing up and having sex. What are your thoughts about it and where can it be used to be really good and where does it not not work, because I'm not a big fan, so give me your, your hot take on standing sex standing sex can be very hot for someone who, like, wants to feel taken and wants their, to feel their partner's strength and their partner's dominance.
Speaker 2:So that could be, you know, facing each other. One person's pinned to the wall, the other one penetrates them from below, or it could be somebody you know is facing the wall and others behind them. It really depends on the respective heights of the individuals. But I would recommend for some people yeah, for some people, it's difficult to maneuver, especially face to face I might recommend they try it with one partner behind them. Or, yeah, using you can sort of adjust the angle of you to the wall. So you might want to like back up and like be moving, be leaning forward more for extra balance. Up and like be moving, be leaning forward more for extra balance. Um, but yeah, don't, don't worry if it's difficult for you, it not all bodies do that, do that easily.
Speaker 1:I think it's because I'm so short. I'm so short, it's always like I have to be on my tiptoes or um, and then, face to face, you're right is where it can get a little complicated because, well, if you're as short as I am and like I rarely have a partner who's not quite a bit taller than me, they're going to have to like they got to lift me up. Right, they got to lift me up. They got to be strong. I need a strong partner to make that work. Partner to make that work. So, for listeners who are looking at upgrading their bedroom experience tonight, what are some small tweaks they can start making to whatever they're already doing to upgrade the positions that they're using when they go home tonight and they have intimacy with their partner?
Speaker 2:I would say, try changing the angle just slightly. So, for instance, if you really like, if you're a woman with a vulva and you like to be on top, I would recommend see what happens if you swivel slightly to the side or if you change the motion with which you grind. So, rather than an up and down position, many people with vaginas actually prefer more of a like back and forth position, so sort of grinding against the penis forward and back, forward and back or even in circles, change the motion of your hips. A lot of the positions can be kept the same, but changing the motion of the hips can make a big difference. If someone is a man with a penis penetrating someone in missionary, they can try sort of moving their hips in a more circular motion, so they're sort of getting at the vagina from different angles. Or try like penetrating more to the left or more to the right and see what the person likes the most. That's probably the simplest way to vary your position without any acrobatics.
Speaker 1:The motion, the motion and the angle. Yeah, I love that. What are some must-have props to have with you, like in your bedroom? I mean, you can't necessarily carry things with you, but things that can help you adjust the positions you're in to become the best position for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say, as we suggested. Pillows are often helpful to get um, either a sex pillow like the Dame webbed, or just just a very firm pillow that won't just sink in when you're on top of it. Um, in terms of props, yeah, blankets, rolling up blankets and some. So it's funny, I have a really squishy mattress pad and people partners often comment like, oh my God, I could just like sink into this bed. That could be another thing to try. If somebody I'm not sure exactly how it affects sex, I think it creates like whoever's on the bottom, just completely like sinks in and relaxes.
Speaker 1:I think it'd be a bed, princess, if you will.
Speaker 2:Or even like a beanbag chair, that that could be fun if someone, if someone just wants to sink into it.
Speaker 1:So listeners you should check out and I will, of course, add links and send this out in a newsletter with recommendations from this podcast on props, toys and furniture that can easily be added to your bedroom routine to enhance any position you're in. It sounds to me like sort of the moral of the story or the moral of this podcast. The lesson from this podcast is that almost any position can be the best if you figure out how to adapt it to the bodies that are involved.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I think it's even more about attitude than position. If you can have a fun, playful attitude and be open to emotionally connecting and laughing, then it doesn't matter as much the technicalities of how the bodies are fitting together. It's more about a dynamic experience where you're both adjusting and readjusting and learning about each other's bodies.
Speaker 1:Great Exploration is what makes it best. Are there any last tips or tricks recommendations you want to give my listeners before we wrap this up?
Speaker 2:I always suggest making noise as a way to amplify sensation during sex, whatever position you're in, and just um that that there's sort of a fake it till you make it phenomenon where if you kind of exaggerate, like shake moan and do those things, it actually brings you closer to orgasm. So I always recommend that.
Speaker 1:Well, there you go. Get noisy guys In whatever position you're in. Thank you so much for all of these tips. I think this is going to be very useful for a lot of my listeners. Now, guys, you've sent your questions about positions for size differences and all that kind of thing. You have your options. You have some recommendations on tools. Go, give them a try and let me know how it goes. Now, Susanna, can you tell my listeners a little bit more about where they can find you if they want to know more about what you're doing or get one of your books?
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely. You can find my books Subjectified and Eva's Blessing on Amazon, as well as Barnes, noble or wherever books are sold. You can also find me on my website, wwwsusannaweisscom, or my Twitter, susanna Weiss. That's spelled S-U-Z-A-N-N-A-H-W-E-I-S-S.
Speaker 1:We'll go check her out. Thank you so much for joining folks. Sex is all about connection, communication. It's about play and discovery. The best position is subjective it's clear from this conversation. It depends on your body. It depends on your goal and your motivation and what you want to get out of intimacy. But what's most important in finding the best position for you and your partner is being ready to have ways to adapt what you see whether it's on the movie screen or when you're scrolling through porn to what is happening in real life. Be ready to play with it, laugh about it and then communicate with one another. If there's a position that's causing too much pain, you need to feel like you can say to your partner this isn't working, let's try something else, be experimental and you will find the best sex position for you and your partner. Thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 1:Susanna and listeners, if you have any questions or comments about this particular episode and the best sex position for you, you can scroll down and drop a question in the comments below. If you're on my YouTube channel, that's at TalkSexWithAnette, if you're an audio listener, you can head on over to my YouTube channel and drop a question there. You can email me at Anette at TalkSexWithAnettecom. Also make sure you sign up for my e-newsletter. You can email me at Annette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom. Also make sure you sign up for my e-newsletter. You can scroll down and click on a link there. Sign up for it, because I will be sending out recommendations for positions for toys and so much more, also information on Susanna's books, in order to find her. Until next time, thank you for joining me, susanna.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:And to my listeners until next time I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers Ring loop.