Why She’s Not Craving Sex—And How Getting Naked Fixes It

Is body shame secretly killing your sex life?
In this episode of Talk Sex with Annette, we're diving into one of the biggest (and most overlooked) blockers of desire and orgasm—body image anxiety.

If you're hiding under the covers, turning off the lights, or keeping your shirt on during sex… this episode is for you.

You’ll learn:
 🔥 Why self-consciousness about your body shuts down arousal and orgasm
 🔥 How to use nudity as a power move to rewire your brain for more pleasure
 🔥 Step-by-step tips for building naked confidence (solo + with a partner)
 🔥 The exact science behind why body shame kills libido—and how to take yours back

This is more than body positivity. This is about reclaiming desire, igniting connection, and learning to be turned on by your own damn reflection.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Intro: The Raw Honest Truth
• 4:53 Why Nudity Is Hard But Necessary
• 6:18 Getting Naked With Yourself First
• 8:41 Helping Your Partner Feel Comfortable Naked
• 10:57 Turning Nudity Into Powerful Foreplay
• 13:49 The Challenge: Get Naked On Purpose

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:03

Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here. Nothing's off limits. These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats, our most trusted friends and, of course, the women's locker room. Think raw, honest and sometimes unapologetically raunchy. If you've been here from the beginning, thank you, and if you're new, welcome to my podcast. Where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power. Now let's talk about sex. Cheers Ring loop In honor of National Nudity Day.

Speaker 1: 1:40

Today's Talk Sex with Annette topic is why she's not craving sex and how getting naked fixes it. Let's get honest how much of your sex life is still happening in the dark, under the covers, with your shirt on, with the lights off, with just enough exposure to get the job done, but not enough to feel fully seen? Because for too many people, especially over 30, sex is happening in survival mode, not in pleasure mode, not in worship mode, not the kind of sex that makes your partner crave more or the kind that makes you want to say yes again. And it's not your fault. We've been taught to be ashamed of our bodies, to hide stretch marks, bellies, scars, aging skin, to confuse modesty with desirability and discomfort with normal. But today we are blowing up that shit, because when you get truly comfortable naked, not just physically but emotionally, you don't just boost your confidence, you rewire your arousal, you ignite your own desire and you make your partner look at you like they can't wait to touch you again. Here's the truth. One of the leading reasons women stop wanting sex or stop climaxing during it is body image anxiety. If you're self-conscious in the bedroom, your brain is busy monitoring. Instead of melting, that's a guaranteed orgasm killer. So today's episode is about solving that. It's about turning nudity into a power move, a seduction tool, a sexual awakening, not by faking confidence, but by building it step by step from the inside out.

Speaker 1: 3:26

But before we dive in, I want to remind you that I'm over on OnlyFans and there I'm sharing my sex and intimacy how-tos and demonstrations, along with my audio guided self-pleasure meditations. They're all designed to help you start experiencing more pleasure and better sex. Tonight you can also find me over on Substack doing the same, and you can find me in both places with my handle at TalkSex with a net. And of course you can also find me over on Substack doing the same, and you can find me in both places with my handle at TalkSex with an N. And of course, you can always scroll down to the notes section below this episode and you will find links to anywhere and everywhere you want to connect with me. All right, let's dive in and talk about how to get naked in the sexiest way possible, cheers. So here's why nudity is so damn hard and it's costing you great sex.

Speaker 1: 4:16

Let's start with some reality checks. A 2012 study in the Journal of Sex Research found that body image, not age, weight or health, is the strongest predictor of sexual satisfaction. In other words, if you don't feel sexy, you don't get sexy. Even worse, women who feel self-conscious about their bodies during sex are significantly more likely to experience delayed or absent orgasm and, as a result, not desire sex. A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that higher body surveillance aka worrying about how you look leads to lower sexual functioning, including reduced orgasm frequency and satisfaction. Why? Because anxiety hijacks arousal. The brain shifts focus from sensation to self-monitoring. And when your thoughts sound like does my stomach look weird in this position, you're not exactly riding the orgasm wave. But good news, this can change, and it doesn't require losing weight or turning into some airbrushed fantasy. It requires retraining your brain and body to associate nudity with power, safety and pleasure.

Speaker 1: 5:30

Here are some steps you can take to do exactly that. First, start by getting naked with yourself before anybody else. If you want to start feeling confident naked in bed, you have to start feeling safe naked alone. Here's how to begin. First, try mirror time for at least 30 seconds a day. Stand in front of a mirror naked, set a timer for 30 seconds, look really look and breathe. Now find one thing you love or want to start loving. This practice is supported by mirror exposure therapy, which has been shown to increase self-acceptance and reduce avoidant-based sexual behaviors. It's even used to treat body dysmorphic disorder and low sexual desire stemming from body image issues.

Speaker 1: 6:21

Start slow, start kind, start naked. Second, you are going to touch yourself while looking. I know this sounds scary, but I promise it's worth it. So you're going to take it further. You're going to touch yourself while looking in the mirror. This combines visual exposure with essential self-touch rewiring your body-brain loop to associate being seen with being turned on. This can start with something as simple as being naked and running your fingers along your collarbone, your chest, your breasts, your stomach, your thighs. Work your way up to the genital touching in front of the mirror, but only do it as your nervous system allows. The minute those negative thoughts kick in, take a break, step away or back off, or away from your more intimate areas.

Speaker 1: 7:21

So number three is masturbating fully naked. Try masturbating on top of the sheets, try sitting up. Look at your body while you're stimulating it. One study from the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that self-focused attention and body anxiety during solo sex negatively impacts arousal and climax. So let's flip the script. This isn't about performance. It's about reclaiming your reflection as a turn-on, not a trigger. So what if your partner is self-conscious? You've done the solo work, you're starting to feel the shift, but maybe your partner is still hiding under the blankets.

Speaker 1: 8:05

Here's how to gently invite them out, without pressure or shame. Number one lead by example. Confidence is contagious. When you walk into a room naked, smiling and fully in your skin, you create an atmosphere of permission. Try saying can I show you something I've been working on? Then undress slowly like it's a gift. Let them watch you own your body. A study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationship shows that vulnerability and nonverbal self-disclosure, like undressing with confidence, can deepen emotional and erotic bonds between partners. Second compliment their nakedness. Don't just say you look great, say your naked body turns me on, or seeing you like this makes me want to devour you, or comment on a specific body part that you just adore. Specific erotic praise helps reassure and arouse at the same time. According to research in sex roles, affirmations that focus on erotic appeal, rather than appearance-based judgment, have the most powerful impact on sexual confidence.

Speaker 1: 9:22

Third, create a clothing transition plan. This is where it gets practical and hot. Instead of going from hoodies to full frontal, make it a slow burn. Week one panties and oversized tee. Week two lingerie and low lighting. Week three naked under a robe, then let it accidentally slip. Week four fully nude foreplay. You can take this step by step. You don't have to go from fully clothed in the dark sex to fully naked, bright lights on. Make it sexy, take it at your own pace, own the pleasure that comes along with it, build anticipation, build safety and build confidence. All right, now it's time to bring it into bed and let it revolutionize your sex life. Now you're ready to turn nudity into foreplay.

Speaker 1: 10:22

Start by using your body as a visual tease. Don't underestimate the power of simply being seen. A study in the International Journal of Impotence Research found that visual sexual stimuli, especially real life, not pornographic create higher arousal levels in men and women than scripted roleplay, fantasy alone. Translation seeing your real naked body in action is hotter than any roleplay you've ever half committed to. Next, try a no-touch role for two minutes. Strip, stand in front of your partner, let them look. Strip, stand in front of your partner, let them look. No touching, just tension, that erotic anticipation. It lights up the brain's reward center and makes the eventual contact even more explosive. Kick things up a notch and use nakedness as a form of dominance and or vulnerability. A form of dominance and or vulnerability. Naked doesn't always mean submissive. Keep your heels on, climb on top, run the show or lie back fully nude, eyes closed, and say take your time, I'm all yours.

Speaker 1: 11:35

Power isn't in the clothing, it's in the intentional exposure You're choosing to be seen. That choice is fucking hot. Here is a real sex life tip. We're going to talk about the shirt on problem. Let's talk about real world mood killers, sex with a shirt on, especially when it's about hiding, not preference. It kills connection. Why? Because what's communicated without a word is Don't look too closely. I'm not proud of this. I don't want to be seen. Compare that to when someone walks across the room fully naked, owning every curve and dimple, and then says you're welcome. Passion needs presence and presence needs permission to be seen.

Speaker 1: 12:24

So here is your National Nudity Day Challenge and a challenge for every other day of the year. Get naked on purpose, not to change, not to shower, to feel, to be seen, to be powerful in your own damn skin. Start solo, then bring it into bed and then help your partner do the same, because naked isn't just a state of undressed, it's a state of mind. And when you can show up unapologetically naked, clothes off, shame off, power on you, don't just turn your partner on. You. Transform the entire relationship to desire pleasure and orgasm. You and your partner will want more and more and more.

Speaker 1: 13:11

So do me a favor. If you have ever struggled with getting naked, especially in front of a partner in a sexy situation, or just with your nudity during sex, and had it disrupt your pleasure, I want you to comment naked below this video. If you're on my YouTube channel, I want you to drop the word naked in the comment section so people can see how common this problem really is. If you're an audio listener, you can get in on the fun and join the community interaction over on my YouTube channel at TalkSexWithAnette, and then, when you try some of these tips, I want you to come back and tell me how they worked for you and if you have any tips to contribute, I would love to hear them.

Speaker 1: 13:55

And, on that note, if you are looking for some support in your intimate life, if you need a wing woman, a cheerleader or a intimacy coach, my sex and intimacy coaching books are open and you can find out more about that at TalkSexWithAnnettecom, or you can email me at Annette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom. You can always scroll down to the notes section of this podcast and you can click on my speak pipe link and there you can send me a voice note and I will do the best that I can to get back to you and answer your questions or to link up with you and do some coaching. So until next time, everybody get naked. It is a national nudity day, at least for today, but hey, you should get naked every day and love what you see. You deserve it. Until next time, I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.