5 Tongue Techniques That’ll Blow Her Mind (Literally)

Ever wonder why your tongue isn't getting the reaction you want down there? In this episode, I'm showing you the real oral sex techniques that make women lose their minds—with step-by-step breakdowns that go way beyond the basic swirl-and-hope-for-the-best.

As a sex and intimacy coach, I’ve talked to hundreds of women about what actually makes oral unforgettable—and spoiler: it’s not about speed or pressure. It’s about rhythm, teasing, tension, and tuning in.

✅ The #1 technique you’re probably skipping
 ✅ How to sync your tongue with her body’s natural orgasm patterns
 ✅ Where to focus (and why the tip isn’t the whole story)
 ✅ What to do with your hands while you're down there
✅ How to use verbal feedback to become her oral fixation

This isn’t porn-style licking. This is tongue mastery.
 Let’s talk sex. Let’s talk oral. Let’s get you upgraded.

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Chapters

• 1:28 Welcome to Masturbation Monday
• 4:00 Why Oral Sex Isn't Optional
• 5:09 Technique 1: The Flat Press and Flip
• 6:33 Technique 2: Figure Eight Movement
• 7:27 Technique 3: The Suction and Seal
• 8:23 Technique 4: Underrated Pleasure Zones
• 9:56 Technique 5: Adding Fingers
• 11:30 Final Tips and Challenge

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:44

Do the sex. Welcome to Masturbation Monday with me, annette Benedetti, your host for Locker Room Talk and Chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Today's Talk Sex with Annette topic is do this with your tongue and she'll grab your hair like she means it. Let's talk about oral sex, not the kind where you go down, swirl your tongue around a few times and hope she gets off. I mean the kind that makes her thighs tremble, the kind that makes her lose time. The kind where your tongue is so locked into her pleasure she ends up grabbing your hair like her life depends on it. She ends up grabbing your hair like her life depends on it. Yeah, that kind. Here's the truth. Most guys treat oral sex like a warm-up act, but the best lovers, they turn it into the main event. They learn the art of using their mouth, tongue, lips, breath as an instrument of obsession, and today I'm going to teach you how. This episode is all about technique clear, real world, no BS. Strategies for going down on a woman in a way that actually works with her body, not just what porn taught you. But before we dive in, I want to remind you that I'm on OnlyFans, where I am sharing my sex and intimacy how-to videos and demonstrations, along with audio-guided self-pleasure meditations, all designed to help you start having better sex and intimacy. Tonight, you can find me over there with the handle at TalkSexWithAnette. You can also find me on Substack, where I'm doing a lot of the same, and I'm also there with the handle at TalkSexWithAnette. You can also find me on Substack, where I'm doing a lot of the same, and I'm also there under the handle at TalkSexWithAnette. And, of course, you can always scroll down to the notes below this episode, and you're going to find links to everywhere you might want to find me below. So if you are ready to learn more about how to make her go wild with your mouth, let's go down Cheers.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Here's why oral sex isn't optional anymore. Real talk women are over selfish lovers period. According to a 2022 study from the Archives of Sexual Behavior. 2022 study from the Archives of Sexual Behavior, 95% of heterosexual men say they usually orgasm during sex, but only 65% of heterosexual women do. That is the orgasm gap. So one of the main reasons for this phenomena is not enough oral or not enough good oral, because clitoral stimulation, which oral is perfect for, is the number one way most women get off. 75% of women can only climax this way or need it as part of the process. So if you're skipping oral, you're skipping her pleasure, and if you're doing it wrong, you might be doing more harm than good. But when you get it right, she doesn't just enjoy it, she starts fantasizing about it when you're not around. So here are five tongue moves that you can use during oral sex that are going to leave her shaking and wanting more. Let's break them down.

Speaker 1: 4:25

The first oral sex technique that I'm going to teach you is the flat press and flip. Forget the pointy tongue darting all over the place. That's absolute chaos, not pleasure, and women by and large hate this approach. Here's what to do instead. First, flatten your tongue and gently press it against her clit. Apply steady, consistent pressure, not too hard. Flick the tip of your tongue up and down or side to side in small motions Think controlled, not frantic. Has over 8,000 nerve endings and most are just beneath the surface, not deep inside. Fast, hard movements can actually overstimulate and number out or even cause pain, but that flat, rhythmic contact activates nerve endings without overwhelming them, creating a slow build to orgasm. So, pro tip, don't change the rhythm when she gets close. That's when you lock it in and let her ride it out to the end.

Speaker 1: 5:49

On how to touch a clit you have probably already heard about this technique to some extent, because I talked about it as a fingering technique on that episode. But we're going to talk about how to do this with your tongue. So, instead of going in random circles, trace a figure eight over her clit and the surrounding areas. How to do it? Start at the top of her clit and move to one side, down to the base and over to the other side and back up. Keep it going slow and sensual, like you're writing in cursive. Here's why it works. First, you're stimulating more surface area, including the clitoral hood and the outer labia. You avoid numbing out the clit while keeping her guessing, which keeps the anticipation high. So here's a pro tip you don't have to do it perfectly, just do it intentionally. This isn't handwriting class, this is sex. Keep it fun.

Speaker 1: 6:43

The third tongue technique that you can use during oral sex to make it an otherworldly experience is the suction and seal. This is one of my personal favorites Lick first, then use your lips to gently suck, like you're pulling her into your mouth but not biting her off. Here are the steps Wrap your lips softly around the clit. Create a light seal. Alternate suction with gentle flicks of your tongue while holding her in your mouth. Here's why it works. Suction increases blood flow, heightening sensitivity. Your mouth is acting like a clit pump. The combination of pressure and wetness triggers the deep pressure receptors around the clitoris, amplifying arousal. This is often where you'll hear her breathing shift or her hips will start to grind.

Speaker 1: 7:39

Okay, the fourth technique you can use during oral sex to next level the experience is tongue, the underrated zones, the ones we never talk about. Here's a move most people miss Work the whole vulva, not just the clit. So many people get hyper fixated on the clit and they're missing out on pleasure zones that can next level her experience. So try this Trace your tongue slowly along the inner labia. They are full of nerve endings that rarely get attended to. Gently circle the vaginal opening. This will start to wake up her G-spot and pay attention to the perineum, that area between her vagina and anus. Light pressure and what looks there can send her over the edge. Here's why it works. Most women enjoy being touched in multiple spots, just not one overused area. According to research in the Journal of Sex Research, variety and stimulation leads to stronger, more memorable orgasms, and you want her to remember so.

Speaker 1: 8:52

The fifth technique that you can add to your oral sex routine that she will definitely not forget, if you do correctly, is adding fingers Once she's aroused and only then add one or two lubricated fingers inside. Then match the rhythm of your tongue with the motion of your fingers. Try curving the fingers upward toward the G-spot. Grind your tongue slowly against the clit while your fingers do small, small come hither motions inside. You can even just do light tapping against that G-spot. That will get her attention. So here's why it works. You are stimulating external and internal hotspots simultaneously. This combination is how many women experience blended orgasms Clitoral plus G-spot and those orgasms they're some of the most powerful.

Speaker 1: 9:56

So a couple of pro tips here. First of all, ask consent before you add your fingers. Make sure she's ready for you to enter her. When you do insert a finger, do it slowly, just the tip of the fingers. Don't go full force inside of her vagina. It will shut her down quickly. So just the tip slowly. You can increase step as she begins to thrust. And here's one of my favorite pro tips Add moaning while you are going down on her, because your mouth plus your moans equals vibration and wow, you know she loves her vibrators. So it's only going to help, not hurt. So here are my final tips on what not to do Don't be sloppy just to seem enthusiastic.

Speaker 1: 10:55

Don't switch up moves every 10 seconds. Consistency wins. Don't get offended if she guides you. Her body is the expert. Listen to what she needs to get fully aroused and have that unforgettable experience with you. Do watch her breathing. Do watch her body's responses and what they're trying to tell you to do next. What they're trying to tell you to do next. Do let her grind against your face that hot and do anchor your hands on her thighs to stay steady when she starts to move. Otherwise you might get bucked right off the perfect spots to bring her to that incredible climax.

Speaker 1: 11:42

So here's my challenge to you Tonight I want you to make her forget where she is. Let your mouth become a memory. Use your tongue with intention, with reverence, with hunger, and when she starts to fall apart, stay steady, because this isn't about giving oral. This is about giving her a reason to come back to you again and again, because no one else knows her body like you do. Master this, and she won't forget the way your tongue made her fill. Not tonight, not next week, not ever.

Speaker 1: 12:18

So if you have any questions about what I have shared with you in this video, make sure to send them to me. If you are on my YouTube channel at TalkSexWithAnette, you can scroll down to the comments section and drop your question. If you are a listener and you want to get in touch with me, you can email me at Annette, at TalkSexWithAnettecom. You can also scroll down to the notes section of this podcast and send me a voice note on SpeakPipe. And if you are looking for a cheerleader, someone to support you on your own sex and intimacy journey, your pleasure journey with yourself or with somebody else, my books are open. I am offering intimacy and sex coaching. You can find out more about that at TalkSexForTheNetcom. I would love to help you on your journey, because pleasure is your birthright and I want to help you claim it. So, listeners until next time. I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.