Egg Freezing Is the New Feminist Power Move—And Men Didn’t See It Coming

 In today’s dating world, women are redefining their personal timelines and taking control of their futures in powerful ways—and one of the most significant trends in this shift is egg freezing. This game-changing decision allows women to pause their biological clocks and approach relationships and family planning on their own terms. But what does it really mean for the dynamics of dating, relationships, and empowerment? Today, we’re diving into the evolving world of egg freezing with April Davis, a renowned relationship expert and luxury matchmaker, to explore how this choice is transforming modern love and the ways women are navigating their reproductive and emotional journeys. 

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introducing the New Dating Landscape
• 4:13 Evolution of Women's Independence in Dating
• 11:06 The Impact of Egg Freezing on Dating Dynamics
• 18:51 Changing Power Dynamics Between Men and Women
• 30:01 How Men Are Adapting to New Dating Realities
• 43:01 Creating Connections in Modern Dating
• 50:27 Matchmaking and Final Takeaways

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:07

Do the sex Think fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy. One female orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's locker Talk and Shots topic is the new dating landscape how egg freezing is redefining relationships and empowering women in their dating lives. In today's complex dating world, many women are taking control of their reproductive futures by choosing to freeze their eggs. This decision not only alleviates the pressure of biological clocks, but also reshapes how they approach relationships, dating and family planning. Joining us is April Davis, the renowned relationship expert and celebrity matchmaker from Luma Luxury Matchmaking, to delve into how this trend is influencing modern dating dynamics and empowering women to make choices on their own terms.

Speaker 1: 2:13

Now, before we dive into this, I want to remind you that I now have an OnlyFans, where you can go and get my intimacy how-tos demonstrations and guided self-pleasure meditations. You can also go to Substack, where I am writing about all of the different ways you can start improving your intimate life and experiencing more pleasure in your own body. Tonight you can find me in both places, at the handle at TalkSucksWithAnette, and I, of course, will be putting the links below. So go and check those out. But let's get back to freezing eggs and dating.

Speaker 1: 2:49

April is here with me, and April Davis is the founder and CEO of Luma Luxury Matchmaking. Luma Luxury Matchmaking was established in 2010 by April, so it's been around. She had been matchmaking for years and wanted to take her passion to the next level. With an MBA, a background in process improvement I love that, because that definitely is part of dating the process of it and a ton of single friends, she realized there was an opportunity to improve the process of finding one's partner indeed, so she combined her passion and expertise to develop a luxury matchmaking firm. Now, with more than 1 million singles in her network and rising I don't know why I'm not there. April is happy to say that her firm has the largest database of vetted singles. So these are quality people. April, will you take a moment to tell my listeners a little bit more about you?

Speaker 2: 3:46

Yeah, so I started the company in 2010, and the first couple I ever set up was when I was 16 years old. Actually and yes, I have a background in process improvement I just basically applied it to the dating world.

Speaker 2: 4:00

After looking around and seeing I had so many amazing single girlfriends and they just didn't have a lot of great options. I'm also married to a divorce attorney, so that gave me a little bit of a different perspective on the dating and relationships and what works and what doesn't work. So, yeah, I'm really more of a values-focused type person or matchmaker, and we work with people all over the country a lot of busy professionals, executives and business owners, people that are more specific but also want their confidentiality, and they're not looking for just anybody. They're looking for the right person that they can ultimately spend the rest of their life with.

Speaker 1: 4:45

So you really know, you have a good inside view of dating trends and how people go about finding their perfect match. I assume you're always refreshing this information as it comes up.

Speaker 2: 5:09

I always preach about this Don't make generalizations or blanket statements, because the moment you do, or whenever I think that I'm seeing a pattern, I'll meet somebody that just blows that stereotype out of the water. So it's important to keep an open mind.

Speaker 1: 5:20

Yeah, I love that, okay. So, guys, I want you to stay to the end, because you're going to find out a little bit more about what's going on in today's dating world. Obviously, there's a trend Women are taking control of their reproductive abilities or choices in a specific way freezing their eggs and so by the end of this podcast, you are going to have a different perspective on dating, maybe a different perspective on how to approach it and find more success, or, if you're a woman listening, how to take more control of your choices in dating and who you date and how that goes. So stay to the end. I am ready to find out all about this and how this is empowering women in the dating world. So let's talk about dating Cheers. I want to talk about what are dating trends or factors that have led to women choosing the very, not just we're not talking about birth control here, like that's one way you can take control of your reproductive future, but to freeze your eggs. What are the factors that fed into this trend happening?

Speaker 2: 6:32

I think, first of all, it's education. So that's going to take up as more women are becoming more and more educated. It takes up a lot of time, and so, instead of getting married and having kids early on, they are investing in their education and career. Therefore. So, for example, we get a lot of women who are doctors and around the age 35, and they've been dedicated to their school and work and now they're like oh, I have to hurry up and find that person before it's too late.

Speaker 2: 7:04

So I think that is a huge part of it, because we, our society, in the United States, we are set up for the individual. Everything's do-it-yourself, you don't need anyone, you don't need to depend on anyone, you can have a car, bring yourself wherever you need, you can buy your own place, whereas in other countries it's more community-focused. And so I think that people just it's just a different kind of mentality. They're able to do everything themselves and when they want to and whatever they want, and we don't have that need for that other person, like our grandparents did, in order to live a healthy and successful life. We now can do everything on our own.

Speaker 2: 7:49

So I think that's a big factor playing into it, and I think the other thing is just women are. When you spend so much time and dedication to your career, it becomes who you, it's your, it's who you are. You know your identity is attached to it and after working so hard on that, not everybody wants to give that up in order to have kids at that moment, and this is a totally different life. A lot of people are waiting, so they have maybe their financials in the right condition, so then they can still continue to work and maybe hire a daddy or whatever their lifestyle needs to be. So they're not necessarily wanting to have a kid when they're in their 20s, because it's really hard and it does take a lot of energy at any age. But it's easier when you have more resources, money, ie money to be able to dedicate towards a child.

Speaker 1: 8:50

Historically women have been dependent on finding a man and having a man to survive, right for income. We didn't have our own bank accounts, we weren't able to get the same jobs at all at one point but or the same level of jobs and income that men were, so it wasn't like realistic for us to think we could survive or make it in a comfortable life on our own. And at this point now in history that power dynamic has changed because women are not only able to get jobs but they're able to excel and make enough money to support themselves. So that has changed the dating world a lot, right? Just the dynamics between men and women in the dating world.

Speaker 2: 9:33

Yeah, they can even have a kid without a man. Yeah, and a lot of women choose to right. But what's more important to them is having the right partner than just any partner to be the parent of their child. So they may choose to just forego having that partner and finding that one later.

Speaker 1: 10:00

That is something that I think has changed right. I feel like historically, a lot of women were just they felt like they had to find a partner because that was survival right, which meant you didn't necessarily get to say here are my non-negotiables, everything had to be a little negotiable. When you're in competition for women are in a position of saying I don't have to negotiate something I really want because I'm okay on my own Right right and they don't need.

Speaker 2: 10:37

You're right, they don't need someone. I just recently watched Pride and Prejudice and I think it's so funny how it lays out perfectly the dynamic and how things have changed. It lays out perfectly the dynamic and how things have changed and thank god we're not back in that era where we literally had to worry about starving to death unless we could find somebody that can take care of us because women couldn't work. They are, they were limited on what teams jobs they could even take if they were able to take a job, and it's very different nowadays.

Speaker 1: 11:08

Right. And now being able to even be at the point where you can say I can even freeze my eggs like I can take. Probably one of the biggest sort of final barriers to independence or being in control of your dating life is that biological clock right. And so now that barrier can be pushed back, that pressure can be pushed back further because you can take your eggs and freeze them and then down the road in your 40s I've even heard, I've known, of people in their late 40s and even early 50s. I am 50 and the idea of having a baby right now I'm like but to each their own right that you can really push back that biological clock, because the biological clock really can be a pressure point for women. No, yeah, right thank you didn't.

Speaker 2: 12:06

Yeah right, Didn't Cameron Diaz just have a baby and she's 52, 52 years old yeah. I think that's what I heard. I don't know if it's true. I heard people are mad at her too for doing it. It's just so weird to me.

Speaker 1: 12:20

That people would be mad is weird to you that people would be mad, or weird that she would do it To me. It's weird that people. Why would you be mad or weird?

Speaker 2: 12:28

that she would do it. To me it's weird that people why would you be mad? Why would you care? Yeah, and why would you be mad? That is what I was thinking there, and it was actually last year. She had her second baby, so she was probably like 51 years old and people thought it was weird. I don't know, people have opinions for anything, but I think it's pretty cool. It's amazing that she can, that she can. She's somebody that probably should be a mom, so she seems like a nice person and she can definitely afford it. It's good for her and I think it's a good example for other people.

Speaker 2: 12:55

You do have choices. You don't have to feel like you're desperate and there are a lot of options out there, especially when you have extra resources and maybe you put your job in front of everything else. Yeah, but everything's everyone is different. Every thing is. Everybody's body is different. I'm not saying that it is possible for everyone, but there's definitely a lot more options nowadays. But also, I think fertility rates are it's gone down. It's harder to get pregnant. I keep hearing more and more women have to go the IVF route, even if they're younger, even if they're in their 30s and they're otherwise healthy, but they need some extra help with their fertility. I think, because so many people have used birth control, that it's caused issues with their hormones down the road, so that's something to think about. If you're on birth control long-term, it can wreak havoc on your body in other ways, so it makes it more challenging to get pregnant down the road.

Speaker 1: 13:58

That the whole topic of the responsibility of birth control being on women and what it does to our body is worth noting. On one hand, it does give us more control in our dating life and protection against then being tied to man that we don't want to be with, which sometimes you find out a little too late. I can tell you firsthand it takes a while to not only vet but find the right partner. And if you get pregnant in that dating vetting period partner and if you get pregnant in that dating vetting period that can be it can affect your ability to follow your career and become completely independent.

Speaker 2: 14:35

You hear about this legislators proposed a $10,000 fine for men ejaculating without intent to create a baby conceive in Ohio. I just like I haven't looked into that much Like wow, that's interesting, but it has. It's been something that's brought up like okay, they're just the fact that they're really. It is really on women to bear this burden. And then I have also heard about they made this male birth control and the men didn't want it or they didn't like it because it made them moody and had all kinds of hormonal issues. Oh funny, I don't know anything about that.

Speaker 1: 15:15

I love that you bring this up because I have been reflecting. I am in perimenopause and so for years I've been on the IUD without, without, with just the Mirena, so just a little bit of progesterone. It doesn't affect my hormones, my moods, I don't feel it in my body. But then when I went into perimenopause my doctor was like we tried different things and she tried putting me back on a birth control pill and it made me feel like I was going insane and I thought to myself I was on this when I was a young, developing woman, in my late teens and my twenties, when my brain was still developing, my body was still developing, I was trying to figure out my sexuality and do all of these things and I was like and then I have a daughter and I watched her kind of go through it and I think it's crazy what we subject women to and then when they create something viable for men, it's if it's a little uncomfortable, it's like nope, scrap it Doesn't work.

Speaker 1: 16:22

What if? For?

Speaker 2: 16:23

example, for your IUD. They don't even give you any pain blocker. You're just supposed to, and if they replace that again kick this thing out and putting in another one, and you're supposed to just be okay with it.

Speaker 1: 16:35

And it hurts, I can tell you. I can tell you that it hurts. When they put my last one in, I cried, I was just cried. I'm like it triggered every trauma in my life and they were like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like I know that there's pain meds for this. They just don't want to do it. They just I'm not.

Speaker 2: 16:49

It's great yeah, it won't. It costs money. So imagine putting any kind of device, inserting any kind of device into any pretty your skin or anything. That's what you're doing. Of course it's painful. When can you imagine like men dealing with something like that? Or of course not they like it basically in their balls or anything.

Speaker 1: 17:09

They'd never let you insert something in their balls or in their urethra. I think we as women are just like, want control over our lives so much and autonomy and the ability to and I would argue it makes the world better for everyone, because now we aren't partnering based on this need thing and ending up mismatched in long-term partnerships that are so unhappy. And there are so many of us. Even at my age, I ended up in partnerships I was still like raised during that time where I didn't feel like I had as much choice, and so I ended up in partnerships where I was just so unhappy. And now it's interesting being single at this period of my life where I'm like I can make choices, I don't need anyone, I am autonomous and I can choose, which gives me a lot of hope because I can find a partner that we will make hopefully someday. Someday we will make each other like truly happy and have that healthy relationship.

Speaker 1: 18:13

But now younger women have access to this. But here is my question. So, first of all, this egg freezing let's be honest, it's only accessible to certain people with a certain amount of money. I assume it's very expensive. But my question is how does that affect a woman's view of dating and feelings and emotions around her choices in dating and proceeding forward with it.

Speaker 2: 18:43

Naturally, they feel less pressure to hurry up and find that person as soon as possible because their A's are on A's, they have time, but pressure is not there as much anyway, and so therefore they could be more just, choosier on that type of person or they will involve another person even so. It definitely gives them a lot of options. Going through that whole process it is super invasive and all the problems and stuff they have to put in their body and we're the same with IVF it's just, it is a lot on, not just mentally but of course physically. It's a lot on people and it can be traumatic for people. So, yeah, it's making that choice, but I think a lot on people and can be traumatic for people. So, yeah, it's making that choice. But I think a lot of women just don't feel like they have any other choice. They just they have to if they want to have kids.

Speaker 1: 19:37

Or it buys them time with making the decision about kids I don't know about I'm curious on your end, on my end and conversations I've had with especially younger women. They're like I don't know yet if I want kids and they start to feel pressured to make this decision, I could see how it would like buy them time in that decision making. I don't feel like I want a baby right now, but maybe 40. I'll wake up one day and be like chasing around a toddler sounds fun wouldn't they?

Speaker 2: 20:39

And be like chasing around a toddler sounds fun. I've had women that they're literally debating between investing in a mashmaker or freezing their eggs because it's so similar and there's a similar payments. Or sometimes they'll do one or the other first and that's it's just part of their career over them.

Speaker 1: 20:57

All right. So we've talked a little bit about what it offers women and all these choices now in the dating world that are available to women. We're talking birth control, obviously, egg freezing, so that you can do the baby stuff and find the guy later in life if you're not finding the right person. Curious, how does this affect the men out there looking for women? Right, this dynamic has changed between men and women and the dating world has changed drastically, and the data is out there to show that. We haven't quite figured it out Like you clearly have come up with a process that's working, but can you talk a little bit about that shifting dynamic and what it looks like?

Speaker 2: 21:40

I think, as we ask people, who are they looking for? What age range are they open to dating? And typically you would get maybe in the past you would get guys that would say I want somebody that's under 30 or something, because I don't want somebody that wants to hurry up and have a kid, and so we could say what if she has her eggs are frozen and there doesn't have that hurry up immediacy type of pressure, is that somebody that you'd be open to? And then they can weigh that decision. But just give more options to men too, because now they don't need to just look at somebody that's in a particular age bracket and open it up.

Speaker 1: 22:20

And how does the power dynamic shift affect men in the dating world?

Speaker 2: 22:29

so women it's. People always ask me what are people looking for in a match? That depends on if it's a female or male males generally, of course it's going to be attraction is the first thing they care about. And then I always say guys want somebody that's hot but cool, so because they want to be attracted to her, but they want somebody that was fun partner, that they can talk to and have, just enjoy life with. And I never get men who are like she needs to make X amount of money each year, whereas women that is something that is more important to them. It's going to be.

Speaker 2: 23:05

Women have usually a longer list of things they want to do and it's income comes up a lot, especially for women that are more high-achievers and high-earners, because they feel like, no, I've earned so much. I want somebody that I respect, that earns more than me. I want somebody that's more alpha than I am, and I always will challenge women in their beliefs, because these men they're fewer and further apart. There's not as many of them, of course, available and single, and you're competing with every other woman out there, because those guys don't care what your resume says or how much money you make. They care about who you are and they're picking their life partner for different reasons. It's just a lot more competitive.

Speaker 2: 23:50

And then also, I think that if you're with somebody that is also very much a high achiever, very self-focused they are maybe an entrepreneur, their focus is going to be on themselves and they're not as great of a they may not be as great of a partner, whereas somebody that is more supportive maybe not that alpha mentality. They're just. They're going to be proud of you and help you to do your thing, and if that is your career is most important to you, then you want to keep moving that forward. They can help you to do your thing, and if that is your career is most important to you, then you want to keep moving that forward and they can help you to do that. But being with somebody that's also an alpha is going to be butting heads the whole time. So it's just important to be open-minded into what kind of career you think you want, because you can't have it all at the end of the day, right that makes sense, I think about.

Speaker 1: 24:44

I had a girlfriend who was an achiever and had made a lot of money and it was interesting because she was like I want an, I want a big, tall man who's successful, aff, affluent, blah, blah, blah. And she really was judgmental of men that way right, you know, would say things like we don't let men be men anymore, meaning like when you know we, when men are emotionally supportive and kind and, like you said, like care about your success and in that role, it's like them not being manly enough. I would say that's sexy as fuck. But she ultimately ended up with a short, bald guy who she supported. So it was interesting to see. Here's the idea we've been fed and here's maybe where the match works out.

Speaker 2: 25:35

That's interesting. We get a lot of women that they have been super successful and they want a guy that is also really successful, and then they think they're. Maybe some of them might think they're going to give up their careers just so they can be stay-at-home wives and with these guys, and so that's not. It's just not realistic in a lot of ways, especially nowadays where you need two incomes, especially if you want to maintain your lifestyle and everything. Um, yeah, you hear, maybe in the us anyway, a lot of times you do need two incomes. Even I hear about families that are making over six figures and they're struggling. So I think it's. It's just not always realistic. And yeah, that's six, five blue eyes, finance kind of he is a percent of the person. There's less than 5 000 of those men that exist in the whole country and I'm guessing they're not single or they might be assholes too.

Speaker 1: 26:30

I don't know I feel, like the autonomy women now have with having control is really getting control over our reproductive lives. And then being able to make money ourselves gives us control over a lot in the dating world. But it's interesting because while we've gained this autonomy, we've struggled to change our mindset. In dating meaning, there is this idea we're still stuck on he has got to make x amount of money. Right, because it's written into our dna to compete for the man that makes the most money. Like our mothers, our grandmothers.

Speaker 1: 27:08

It's written in that generational trauma is handed right down to us and it's like we have to work to change that mindset. But we also have the mindset of competing with other women. Right, because looking at another woman when she walks in the door and the first thing that comes into our mind is like measuring up, because we have competed over resources, being men for so many centuries or whatever, and we have to do the work of changing our mind and going is that what I really need? Or is what I really need right now? Someone who, like, feeds my soul, who makes me feel emotionally secure, who listens to me and provides these other resources that maybe are deficient in my life?

Speaker 2: 27:49

right, I feel like they want both sides masculine, masculine man but also they want him to be emotionally intelligent and charming, all these other features which somebody might consider to be infeminate. So it is. It's that's. I think a lot of guys are feeling conflicted and they're not sure what to do, especially after I always talk about after the me too movement, especially because they don't feel comfortable approaching, they don't feel comfortable taking charge. Women will get mad at them for opening the door or offering to pay. I can pay for myself. I feel like that's just and ultimately is insecurity on their behalf and they feel like they need to prove something. But yeah, it's a challenging time and dynamic for men to try to know what's the right thing to do and how to be, because not everybody's going to have the same reaction.

Speaker 1: 28:50

I agree, I think everybody's a little bit confused on both sides. I think in some ways, men are even more behind and trying to catch up in the dating world. I'm curious about your point of view, just simply because it's not a lot has changed for them as far as they can still go after the career and find the success there, go after the house and so on and so forth, but when it comes to find, like it's very specific, the thing that's changed is women. Right, I mean, for us a lot has changed. We can now get our own house, we can have a job, we can do. It's a lot.

Speaker 1: 29:25

And we don't have a lot of mentors to show us how to do it. Well, right, because only what one generation in front of me, like the women who raised me. They were the ones who got their own bank account and started to have jobs that were outside of teacher and nurse. So I don't have. I didn't have a lot of good mentors out there as far as women, and but for men it's like oh, how do I now? What do they want now and wait, I do this thing, but now you want this? No one, I don't know how to do that. And on top, of it now.

Speaker 2: 30:01

I don't even have control over the the child rearing or making babies aspect right yeah, what I'm actually I'm seeing a lot of is so, like the good, the guys that are a catch, they're having women pursuing them. So women want to be pursued by the guy and they think that he should just come up to me and approach me and tell me how beautiful I am and blah, blah, blah and pursue me. But the ones that are truly a kajji, they're not doing that because they have women coming to them, because the women see that these guys have a lot to offer, so that the women are going to pursue them. So if you're waiting for these guys to make a move, it's just it's never going to happen and they don't even know how. The ones that do know how you got to watch over. So that would be concerned about.

Speaker 2: 30:47

Why are they? What are they selling or what are they trying to get out of it? Because that's just it's. It is so difficult for people. They have to be used to getting rejected and be OK with it, and I feel like they're going to be more of a salesman. So, yeah, it's definitely changing dynamics and an interesting time, but it's also, like she said, it's great for women because you can go after what you want. But if you do see somebody that you're interested in, they will be flattered and appreciate it, because they are afraid to to creep somebody out to offend somebody, to maybe hit on a woman that's. They don't know if she's single or not, so it's just definitely interesting.

Speaker 1: 31:29

Right, at least. So like for me. I'm again. I'm single. I am not afraid to approach somebody that I'm interested in. I'm not afraid of rejection.

Speaker 1: 31:39

I've gone through the paces of rejection enough in my life that it doesn't scare me it doesn't really affect me in the way that I think it did when I was younger creepy, and I think there are lots of ways to do that. I think men need to like come on, buck up. You know you can walk up and not be a creep. But when a man magic manages to do that, he very quickly moves to the top of my list. There's something about a guy who like will come up like humor, just say something like funny that I can riff off of, and then we're going right and banter back and forth.

Speaker 2: 32:17

I love a little banter, like learn to banter. If we could do a class and banter for and forth.

Speaker 1: 32:20

I love a little banter. Learn to banter. If we could do a class in banter for men, I'm telling you they would do so much better out in the dating world.

Speaker 2: 32:29

It's taking that initial step. That's scary. It's so scary for them because women can be really mean. At least you're nice and you recognize, hey, they're putting themselves out there and at least be polite to them. But oftentimes they can get shut down so hard that they never want to do it again.

Speaker 1: 32:47

Right and I would agree with that. I think that, because of all the bad experiences women have when somebody approaches them, they'll kind of like do the mean girl thing right off the bat. And one of the things I that, as someone who's like I don't want to be on dating apps anymore, Like I just I'm not interested in it. What I've done in my own life is I'm like I'm going to be open If someone approaches me who I'm not attracted to, like right off the bat I'm like I can tell this isn't a thing, Like I'm open, just having the quick conversation and then giving the gentle signs that this isn't happening. But I also want to be open to like meeting and connecting and I think where the mean girl needs to come in is when you say no and no and they keep, they violate your nose, Like when it's very clear that it's not a thing. Don't ask me why Violate your nose, like when it's very clear that it's not a thing. Don't ask me why Accept it, Because I don't want to tell you why.

Speaker 1: 33:45

I would never ask someone why I don't want to know why you don't like me. I just met you, you know.

Speaker 2: 33:52

Right, Right, yeah, it can be very challenging, but I think that you just touched on something like you're open to connecting and I think how important that is because that's part of why I got into this. An introduction to someone can be so life changing, not just for love, but for business, friendship, whatever and you just never know where that connection is going to come from and how they may change your world. Maybe they'll introduce you to somebody else that could really change your world. And especially now after COVID, where we're all in isolation, I think it's so important to have those little micro connections and call them nano ships, right, and being open to having little little relationships, little connections with people like maybe it's just, you know, chatting with somebody new at the gym and I think people appreciate it so much and just being seen and for rooted, like somebody gave a crap about me today and asked me something about myself and it all comes around.

Speaker 2: 34:57

I believe that it all comes around and after, because after being in this role and also being a mom, I started looking at everyone very differently. I always think about how you know that person was somebody's baby at some point and you know they have, and I've sat across from so many people hearing their stories and they're you know they're crying over whatever life experiences they've had. They're you know they're crying over whatever life experiences they've had. So I think it's really important to show compassion and, just you know, be kind to everyone and have those little connections. Make those little connections because you don't know, it could really change somebody's life or yours.

Speaker 1: 35:34

And that's an exciting idea, isn't it? That if you walk out, and I don't care if I'm at the grocery store or at the gym, I work at home. So I have to really make opportunities for a connection, just to like I'm short so I can always like get someone to get something off the top shelf for me if I'm really interested in them. I can be like I can't reach it. Would you help me? It really works with guys too. They love that. Yeah, sure, but those little connections like it can make someone's whole day like we are so isolated. So how did covid play into the egg freezing scenario?

Speaker 2: 36:10

my understanding from the data is like that was sort of a turning point for women going like harvest me right and then well, just like all the weddings had to get put on hold, I'm sure All the babies, a lot of babies, had to get put on hold Because or people just weren't able to meet to be able to start relationships. So I'm sure it made people realize Also. I mean people realized what their priorities were, Because they want to. They put them more in perspective. Maybe they were just caught up in their work and career and everything, and then all of a sudden the world's changing and it's really pretty scary.

Speaker 1: 36:50

So maybe I do want to have a kid and so I'm gonna have to take the steps needed to make that happen well, and I can imagine now like the elephant in the room is, with all of everything that's going on in America right now. There's a lot of unrest, there's a lot of uncertainty and I know I hear from a lot of my peers around me like I don't know if I want to have kids right now. I don't know what's coming down the line, I don't know what kind of like situation I'm going to bring them into.

Speaker 2: 37:17

Agreed, yeah, and so egg freezing definitely buys time.

Speaker 1: 37:18

Curry, yeah, and so Egg freezing Definitely buys time.

Speaker 2: 37:27

Mm-hmm, and I mean that's a really good point that I hear that all the time People are, they are About what? What kind of world am I bringing my kid into, especially with all the All the nuclear talk For recent, in the last Year or two?

Speaker 1: 37:45

A couple of things to note for my listeners. Egg freezing is a thing out there that women are now able to do you as a couple are even able to do, but women, in particular gals, you can relax a little bit. Here's an option that's available to you if you're in a certain income bracket. Otherwise, we already know that women have multiple different ways to take control of their family planning, should they want one. Guys, things have changed.

Speaker 1: 38:17

I would like to ask you now, as a matchmaker, I'm confident you've matched many, many people and you're doing so during what we continually call unprecedented times. Right, so much has happened between having a pandemic to the changing dating trends now, with millennials moving through and Gen Z coming into play, more women making money in those generations than ever. Right, and you're all about the process processes. Can we leave my listeners, both men and women, with maybe some insight into, with all the knowledge you have, how they can start changing their really struggling right now to find one another and find good matches, and a lot of people are opting out, like a lot of people are literally just I'm going to go get a couple cats, or, if you're a dog person and a dog and live on a farm or whatever, and that's a little bit sad. I think we all, as humans, crave connection, crave intimacy and touch and like at least a person some of us more than a person I think I kind of touched on it a little bit ago.

Speaker 2: 40:37

But I think one of the biggest things is being open, and open to those little micro connections that you can make all the time, because you don't know that it could be with somebody that invites you to a party and get off your couch and go to the party, because we get so comfortable sitting at home and working from home and never making those connections that we have to. You have especially I think it's not quite half, but it's. It is a high percentage of people are introverted and so they would prefer not to have to do all that stuff. But it is very important to find those connections and then you have to be open to it. So I would say, like when you're at the grocery store and it's just smiling and saying hello to people, making eye contact, when you pass by somebody on the street and just being friendly and whether it's man, woman or somebody that you may or may not be interested in, it's just being human and polite and I think that could open up the door for so much more, because when you're not open to talking to people, then it's never going to happen. I know that if I'm in a mood and I don't feel like talking to anyone, then that's what's going to happen.

Speaker 2: 41:54

But if I want to be open, I always find it interesting that you meet a lot of people when you travel. It's easier to meet people when you travel and I think it's because of our mindset, because we're curious, we're out seeing new things and we're happy typically. And we're curious, we're out seeing new things and we're happy typically and we're out of our comfort zone. So we are going to be more open. So people always say, oh, I meet people so much when I travel or when I go here and there, and it's because of you and how you are. But when you're in your routine every day, you get caught up in that and you're not having the same openness. You are when you travel. That's one of the biggest things. Goodness. You are when you travel. That's one of the biggest things. Be the person that brings sunshine to other people's lives and then it will bring you back as well.

Speaker 1: 42:36

It's funny that you say that I just got back from a couple of weeks ago. I went to Mexico for two weeks and during that vacation I met two men. Two men approached me who I was like, oh oh, if we lived in the same place I would probably be going on multiple dates with you. I'm like these are eligible guys, good, looking like, intelligent, fun. As far as, like, I did go on a couple of days. I went on multiple days in Mexico and they really executed, approaching me and then setting up dates while I was on vacation. Well, like the execution was like chef's kiss and then it was like, oh well, it's been fun, let's stay in touch, and so it's funny that you bring that up.

Speaker 2: 43:24

You're more open to it. I also think that's a different. It's much different than the millennials and the Gen Z generation. Those people have been so pampered and they haven't learned a lot of the communication skills and just the connection skills Even. You hear about how depressed they are and how they don't have social lives. They're just not dating at all and everyone's seen it where you see a table full of people, they're all on their phones and stuff. So that's that generation. They don't value, or they. They just don't have the kind of interactions that you know generation x would have per se. So there's less appreciation for it too. But I think for any generation it's just important to be open and making those connections always, you know, just smiling at people so they feel like they can talk to you and approach you. Or maybe you're the one making the first comment.

Speaker 1: 44:26

Right, and so what? As far as matchmaking goes, what is the age range of people who are primarily in?

Speaker 2: 44:35

your database. Oh, we work with people in their 20s all the way up to 80s, but it's primarily like 30s, 40s, 50s, obviously all right, and with the egg freezing coming into play, do our men All right?

Speaker 1: 44:50

Before I ask this question, I have to ask another question. Do men who are on you know, do men who are in your database, your matchmaking database, primarily look for younger women I'm talking men in their 40s, 50s and up or is it true that they primarily look for younger women, or come in hot that way?

Speaker 2: 45:15

Well, everyone's different. It depends on the person and the region, quite frankly, where people live. So it's different from, I would say, like California, Miami, Vegas, you're going to see more transactional type relationships. So people that you know, women are wanting a purse for dating. When difficult, you're undating a guy and then the guy expects somebody younger, beautiful sex, the whole world, and so that is just the transactional type of relationship, and so that is just a transactional type of relationship. I think people that are say, for example, the Midwest or South, yeah, the open day date needs someone younger, but they don't want to be embarrassed, so they don't want somebody to confuse her for their daughter.

Speaker 2: 46:03

Right, there is a point of diminishing her term.

Speaker 1: 46:08

Fair, fair. Does the egg freezing change that dynamic? Does it open men who might have been looking for younger women? Yeah, does this now new ability to do that? Really? Do you see them reacting to that and going, oh, okay.

Speaker 2: 46:27

Yeah, they'd be. If they want to have children, they'd be open to somebody that is closer to their age. If she has had her eggs frozen. I think it's yeah, it just comes down to they want to, they want to have kids. Makes sense for somebody, if they're, say, four years old, probably would be make more sense to be dating for they think they need to find somebody that's in her early 30s, for example, because they don't have as much of a need to rush. But if you tell them this is somebody that is close to your age and she has her eggs frozen, so you should meet, and they'd be more open to meeting.

Speaker 1: 47:06

Okay, well, interesting. There you go, guys. Ladies, if you want to be more eligible to these older men who want to have kids in their 40s, 50s and 60s, there is an option for you. But in general, I think that more options for women is always going to be better. You know like you want to live the life you want to live, and so it's great that this is something that is open to you. Now, if you are looking for a matchmaker I mean, april has quite the resume, so you've also done matchmaking with celebrities and some really high profile people, so people trust you to find, help them find, the partner they want. Can you tell my listeners where they can find you and find out more about all of the things you're doing?

Speaker 2: 48:01

It's not just me. I have a whole team of matchmakers behind me and we are nationwide and people can just go to our website. It's lumasearchcom L-U-M-A, which stands for Luxury Cash Banking, and so, lumasearchcom, just fill out the profile form and anyone can be in our database. There's no charge for that, because we want a huge database with lots of options to choose from when we're looking for the right one for our clients. But if you want to be proactive, you can opt to be a proactive client as well. So it's just, it's up to you and it depends on you how particular you are.

Speaker 1: 48:35

Oh really interesting, so you need to get in the database at least I know for sure, I know I'm like maybe I'll try that, why not? Um so, yeah, so anybody can just get into your database. It can be like here's my profile.

Speaker 2: 48:53

They can submit their profile. You can't see anyone else. That's in the system, but you can be at least part of it, so the matchmakers can consider you as a match and you have a profile. You will update and submit your photos and everything. So then when we're looking for somebody, for someone with all your information, like your preferences, if you're open to dating someone out of state, if you have kids bought kids will date somebody with kids all of those things that's important.

Speaker 1: 49:22

Oh, I check it out, I'm just curious, all right. Well, that is good to know. So you're going to go check that out, folks, if you are interested, or even just get in the database, why would you not? And then, of course, if you are ready to be proactive and have someone who has a process in mind that works, this is a great option. We all need love, right? I think so. Thank you for joining us. And to listeners out there, you know, if you're looking for a coach in intimacy and your sex life, you want a cheerleader, a sidekick, if you will, a wing woman. My books are open. You can find me at TalkSexWithAnettecom for more information there. Reach out to me at my email, annette, at TalkSexWithAnettecom. Thank you so much, april, for joining me. I appreciate it. And to my listeners, I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.