5 Un-Fakeable Signs That She's Enjoying Sex!

 In this episode of Masturbation Monday, I tackle one of the most important questions in the bedroom: How can you tell if she’s truly enjoying sex with you? With nearly 70% to 80% of women admitting to faking orgasms at some point, it’s clear that authentic pleasure isn’t always easy to identify. Annette breaks down five expert-backed signs that a woman is genuinely enjoying herself, exploring the science of pleasure, emotional cues, and body language. Plus, she shares actionable tips and insights to help you enhance intimacy and communication, ensuring your connection is as satisfying as it is passionate.

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Chapters

• 0:00 She Enjoys Sex
• 5:26 Signs of Her Enjoyment in Bed
• 14:59 Sexual Coaching and Support Offered

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:57

Do the sex. Welcome to Masturbation Monday with me, annette Benedetti, your host for Locker Room Talk and Chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Today's Masturbation Monday topic is five ways to know she's really enjoying sex with you. Know she's really enjoying sex with you. Look, guys, I know that it is one of the hottest questions out there. With all of the information that's out there about how women are experiencing that orgasm gap where they aren't having as many orgasms as their partners, especially their cis male partners. The question arises often well, how do I know if she's really enjoying it, especially with all the stats about how women fake it and aren't having orgasms? How do you know? And I'm going to get to that, but first I just want to let you know. Um, I have been sharing a lot of how to's lately on my masturbation Monday episodes and obviously I have my audio podcast and I have my video podcast over on YouTube. Well, my how-to videos have gotten me in trouble over on YouTube and so I've had to find a new home for them so that I don't lose that channel. And I introduced to you guys my spicy site that I launched last week on OF. I am putting those tutorials up there for a low subscription price of $6. Now for those of you who don't want to subscribe and see the extra spicy stuff because I'm also demonstrating some of the how-tos on a very willing and eager friend, so that you can actually see what the how-to tips look like and then replicate them in your own bedroom. And if you don't want that kind of instruction, totally get it. So I have created a free, zero fee, uh OF page under Annette Talks Sex where I will be uploading the how-to videos there Uh, no price for that so you can view them. I'm also uploading them or I'm at least going to try to as of the time of publishing this podcast episode over on my sub stack, and my sub stack is also at TalkSexWithAnette. So I just wanted to give you the heads up. Some of the spicier stuff, but truly useful tips and tricks and how-tos are going to still be accessible to all of my listeners and viewers. I'm just having to find the best place for them to live.

Speaker 1: 3:52

So now back to how do you know if she's really enjoying sex with you. First, we've all heard about the orgasm gap stats 80 to 90% of women report not either ever having an orgasm or not having an orgasm during sex, especially penetration. 80% need some sort of clitoral stimulation. We also have information, and research has also told us, that 80 to 90% of women fake orgasm or have at least at one point in time. So with all of that information widely out there, widely known, many of you may be wondering well, how do I know if she's enjoying having sex with me? And of course, it's very hard for a partner to tell another partner oh, I'm really not enjoying this. The good news is there are ways that you can tell if she's enjoying it, because the body gives the truth away. And today I'm going to share with you five research-backed ways to know if she's really enjoying sex with you. There are cues you can look for by the end of this podcast episode. If you are one who pays close attention and really attends to the person you're being intimate with, you're going to be able to tell if she's really enjoying sex with you. Not only that, I'm going to add in tips that are going to help you make sure that she really enjoys sex with you. On top of that, so there's a lot of great stuff. Stay to the end.

Speaker 1: 5:27

So let's get into it. Let's talk about how you can tell if she's really enjoying what you're doing to her in bed Cheers. Okay, let's just dive in the number one way you can tell if a woman's really enjoying sex with you is that her body is going to be responsive to your touch. She may become flushed, she may even get little goosebumps on her skin. She will have breathing that deepens. It may become more rapid. Her hips and her body will start moving. And if she's experiencing pleasure, her hips are more likely to start moving towards you. So if you start seeing anything like the sad puppy tail tucked under or she seems to be pulling back from you down there, that's not a great sign. It's not a great sign. Look for her to move towards you and with you and in rhythm with you.

Speaker 1: 6:20

Now here's a fun fact, and it's one of the primary ways I can tell if my partner is enjoying what I'm doing to them in bed. When a woman becomes excited and she's experiencing pleasure. Her vaginal canal begins to lengthen and it can even what I call balloon. So it will expand and if you're paying close attention, you are going to be able to feel this happen and this is a more reliable sign than wetness. And in combination with that, her clitoris is going to fill with blood and become engorged and swell, and so is her vulva, her inner and outer lips, so the whole vulva and clitoral area will swell with pleasure. You will be able to see it and you will be able to feel it, and I think of this as one of the most telltale, trustable signs that she's really enjoying sex with you.

Speaker 1: 7:21

So how can you make sure that she's really going to enjoy sex with you? Invest in foreplay. Look, go and listen to my many videos on foreplay if you need some ideas for foreplay. But know that it takes a woman on average about 20 minutes to become fully aroused 20 minutes to become fully aroused 20 minutes. So plan on about 20 minutes of foreplay and exploring her body and when you feel her vulva start to engorge, if you are fingering, you feel her vaginal canal start to expand and broaden. That's going to be a really good sign that it's time to take it even further.

Speaker 1: 8:00

Sign number two that a woman is enjoying sex with you is that she is going to start making uninhibited sounds, uninhibited being the key word here. So you aren't going to hear things like you do in porn or you do on the movies. You're going to hear primal sounds coming from her body. It could be moans, sighs, it could be guttural. It may not at all occur to you to call some of the sounds sexy, but that is going to be a sign that she's really just getting into the moment and fully experiencing whatever you are doing with her.

Speaker 1: 8:37

Studies show that women actually vocalize to communicate with their partner throughout sex, not just when they're about to have a climax. And I think a lot of times people think that because she's making noise, it means she's close to coming and then you start asking her are you coming? That's just gonna be a libido killer. Women vocalize all the way throughout sex to communicate to their partner that they're enjoying sex. So just remember that if she starts making noises, you know you're doing something right. What can you do to help with this? Make sure she knows that it turns you on. When you hear her, you can say to her. I love it when you make those sounds or you sound so sexy, let it go. Tell me more. Make sure to encourage her and make her feel comfortable, letting loose with her natural sounds so she doesn't feel like she's got to be performative and sound like whoever she saw in the last rom-com she watched, or, if she watches porn, in the last porn video she saw. Also, know that if you start hearing porn noises coming out of her, that's probably not the best indicator. Performative sex is rarely good sex.

Speaker 1: 9:47

Sign number three that a woman is really enjoying sex with you is that she's staying in the moment with you. So you're going to know that she's staying in the moment with you because she's going to be touching you. Maybe she's making eye contact sometimes, but she's interacting with you and she's staying right there in the moment with you. Her body's moving with yours, she's reacting to you. Those are all great signs that she's in the moment. Look, distraction is the enemy of good sex period. According to research, when a woman is fully present during sex, her pleasure centers in her brain light up and begin to release those feel-good hormones, oxytocin and dopamine. So what can you do to make sure that happens? First of all, you can help her out by creating a distraction-free atmosphere for your sex session. So you're going to want to turn off the TV, you're going to want to put away the phone. You can dim the lights, maybe light a candle. Make sure the mess around her is cleaned up so she can stay present with you and focus on the here and now and not what she's got to do after you guys are done having sex.

Speaker 1: 10:55

The fourth sign that a woman's really enjoying sex with you is that she is vocal about what she wants. Now that may mean while you're having sex with her, she's like stop, go slower, harder, right there, right there, stay right there. And it may sound abrupt to you, but instead of taking her vocalizations as a criticism, know that that means you're doing something right, that she's into it, that she wants more and she wants it just the way she wants it, and she wants you to know how to do that. Research has shown over and over again that couples who communicate about sex report having a much, much higher sexual satisfaction rate and also longer lasting relationships. So what can you do to help with this? Initiate conversations about sex outside of the bedroom. You don't have to wait until you're in the bedroom to start this conversation. Ask her what she likes, what she fantasizes about, what she liked last time and what she'd like to do again next time. Be willing to ask her what she didn't like and to be okay with her sharing that part of herself. And then, when you're in the bedroom, ask her questions like do you like it like that Harder, softer? Does that feel good? You can even try to turn it into some dirty talk that gets her turned on.

Speaker 1: 12:11

So the fifth and final sign that she is enjoying sex with you, that you did a good job, that she really got off, is that she's going to want to bask in the aftercare. She's going to have aftercare enthusiasm. What I'm saying is she's going to want to stay there. She may want to cuddle, you know. She may want to kiss. She wants to bask in the afterglow. She may be a little energetic. I tend to be really energetic after good sex. I want to talk about it. I get excited, I'm excitable. I want there to be this afterglow period of time where we stay connected.

Speaker 1: 12:44

Now a woman who has not enjoyed the sex she's had is more likely to get up and be ready to go roll over and go to sleep. Those are not signs of uh, I had a great time, uh, unless of course, she actually has to go, um, but generally speaking that would be a sign that perhaps it wasn't exactly what she wanted. Research shows that cuddling after sex releases that wonderful hormone, oxytocin, which is also known as the bonding hormone, and it can really intensify physical satisfaction, physical connection. So that is the state where she is going to want to stay for a while. So what can you do about aftercare? And this can be really hard for some men in particular who immediately after orgasming really feel tired and like they want to go to sleep.

Speaker 1: 13:37

But my suggestion is to power up enough to really be intentional about that time. Spend time cuddling, maybe reflect on what you just did and what you liked and what was hot. Relive your experience through some dirty conversation. Make sure to carve out just enough time to be there with her in her enthusiasm and her satisfaction, and that's like the best bookend to really good sex session. So there it is. You've got five solid research back ways to know if she's really enjoying what's going on in the bedroom. It really comes down to you staying attuned to her and what's going on with her and making her feel safe, seen and valued and cared for in the bedroom All of those things come together to make for really, really, really good sex.

Speaker 1: 14:30

Now remember, if you want to become a better lover, I am going to be sharing lots of how-tos on my spicy site. You can find me on OF at TalkSexWithAnette. That's going to be the subscriber-based site where you are going to have access to seeing a lot of the tips performed. There's also Annette TalkSex where you can just get the how-to videos. They won't get pulled down over there on my sub stack at TalkSexWithAnette.

Speaker 1: 15:00

If you are looking for someone to support you on your own sexual journey whether you are just wanting to explore your pleasure potential, or you are wanting to work on being a better lover in bed, or you're having a challenge like experiencing pleasure bed or if you are a couple I am working with couples right now and I just love it so much I would love to be your sidekick. I would love to be your coach, your cheerleader in the bedroom, if you will, and my books are open and you can find out more about that at talksexwithanettecom. If you have any questions, comments, I'd love to hear what you think about this video. You can get ahold of me at Annette at talksexwithanettecomcom. You can drop a comment by voicemail in the speak pipe below. Uh, you know where to get hold of me. So until next time, cheers, I'll see you in the locker room.