Talk Sex with Annette (Locker Room Talk & Shots)
Talk Sex with Annette
Where desire meets disruption—and pleasure becomes power.
Hosted by sex and intimacy coach Annette Benedetti, Talk Sex with Annette is the go-to podcast for bold, unfiltered conversations at the intersection of sexuality, identity, and empowerment.
From kink to connection, self-love to sexual healing, Annette dives into the topics most people are too afraid to touch—with expert guests, raw storytelling, and a feminist lens that challenges shame and reclaims pleasure.
Think smart, sexy, and radically real: this is the cultural conversation around sex that’s long overdue.
Talk Sex with Annette (Locker Room Talk & Shots)
How Reading Erotica Can Get You Laid (& Why She's Reading Smutt Instead of Texting You Back)
Celebrated erotica author Avalon Lust joins me to explore the empowering world of erotica and its transformative impact on intimacy and self-discovery. From her journey to becoming a successful writer to how her stories offer a safe space for exploring fantasies, Avalon shares insights into why women are drawn to erotica and how it can enhance relationships. We discuss its educational value for men, its role in sparking curiosity, and its ability to inspire couples to deepen their connection and reignite passion. Tune in for tips on how to use erotica in your sex life.
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Cheers!
Do the sex Think fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy. One female orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's lockerin' Shots topic is why she's reading smut instead of texting you back and what you can do about it. How reading erotica can get you laid and improve your sex life. Today we are going to dive into the world of erotica. Me and my special guest are going to share what you can learn from it and how it can drastically improve your love life.
Speaker 1:But before we dive in, I have some very exciting news. After months maybe actually years of navigating roadblocks, sightstaking down my content or limiting my creative freedom, I am thrilled to announce the launch of my Desire Diaries on OnlyFans. That's right, guys. I'm finally on OnlyFans and you can find me there. This will be the home for all of my steamy personal confessions. That's right. I'm going deeper than I do here on this podcast my erotic interviews, audio-guided self-pleasure meditations, masturbation meditations, sensual photo essays and so much more.
Speaker 1:At OnlyFanscom, backslash talk sex with Annette, I'll be sharing intimate stories, exploring fantasies and offering a more personal connection with my listeners. Whether you've got questions, need advice or just want to explore, this is where we can connect like never before. So subscribe now, take this journey with me. You're not going to want to miss what's happening over there. This is really going to give me an opportunity to answer those questions you guys have been sending me that are getting buried on sort of a one-on-one level. So go over and check it out. I'm going to drop the link in the description of this podcast episode below. Onlyfans links can only be placed in certain places, so scroll down, click on it, come over and hang out with me. So back to this episode.
Speaker 1:My special guest today is Avalon Lust. She is a celebrated erotica author whose work explores themes of sensuality, empowerment and the transformative power of desire. I love that. Known for crafting compelling stories that blend steamy romance with relatable characters, lust believes erotica offers readers a safe space to explore their fantasies and deepen their connection with their own sexuality. Her writing not only entertains but also encourages open conversations about intimacy, making her a prominent voice in the genre. Hello, avalon Lust, I would love for you to tell my listeners a little bit more about you.
Speaker 2:Hey, annette, I'm so happy I'm here. Thank you for your introduction. I couldn't have said it any better. Yes, so I'm Avalon and I started writing erotica just at the beginning of this year. So I'm almost at my first year anniversary of erotica Doesn't mean that I haven't been writing before, just the writing erotica, and I'm just so excited with this whole journey and to be able to talk about it today and answer all your questions.
Speaker 1:I'm so happy to have you here and listeners. This is such a great opportunity for you. If you are a man, a person with a penis, someone who is not a woman, or a person with a vulva and you feel lost when it comes to women's people with vulvas out there, this is going to be a great opportunity for you to feel seen and to get that permission. You might feel like you need to explore your fantasies, talk about your fantasies and maybe, even more importantly, for couples people who are together erotica is going to teach you about how you can unlock a better sex life with each other or solo. My sex life is very, very passionate with myself right now. So please stay to the end of this podcast episode, because we're not only going to be talking about Avalon's journey with writing erotica, but we are going to create a little bit of a guide for creating a more robust sexual life and maybe planning dates around erotica. So let's get ready to dive in. Are you ready, avalyn? Yes, let's talk about sex and women's fantasies. Cheers.
Speaker 2:We're doing this, cheers.
Speaker 1:I'm drinking coffee. What do you have? It looks like you've got something better than coffee over there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm having vodka cranberry actually.
Speaker 1:To be fair listeners, she is three hours ahead of me. I literally woke up an hour and a half ago because I slept in and I'm going to be honest with you as long as we're talking about erotica. I tried to go to bed at a decent time last night because I wanted to get up early and prepare for our conversation. But I started masturbating and I really got into it and next thing, you know, it was 2.30 in the morning and I was like fuck. That means I'm not going to be able to get up early. But I made it. I'm together and put together for you and I had incredible orgasms. I wish I had had some good erotica to listen to. So that brings me to this conversation.
Speaker 2:That is such a good excuse for going to bed late. I love that, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:I mean, it was like a good hour and a half. I really had some like earthbending orgasms. So I was like I can't stop now it's going so well. So that brings me to how did you end up writing Erotica? I'd like to think it's that you had great orgasms and whatever was going on in your mind, you were like I've got to share this with the world.
Speaker 2:No, actually it started all completely different. As you can hear, I got an accent. I'm born and raised in Germany and I moved to the US only about six years ago. I'm born and raised in Germany and I moved to the US only about six years ago and I fell in love, got married and now I'm here and all my education from before is basically worth nothing and I don't have the money to study here again and start all over again and I'm like, yeah, we need to find something else, something that fulfills me, else, something that fulfills me.
Speaker 2:And somewhere on that journey of finding myself again, I started writing and I started writing romance books and I did write this muddy kind where it's like 300 pages and 50 pages out of it is really good sex. But then I did get kind of bored with it and maybe mostly impatient, because it takes a while writing a 300 page book, going through the editing back and forward. Then I do always need to put it to the side for at least a month because otherwise I just get so tired of it I can't even see it anymore and then I start over again and it's just such a process that I was like there must be something else out there and at the same time, in my private life I, of course, I read Smutty Romance. And a big problem here. My husband is a pilot, so he's gone half of the time home half of the time, and usually it happens so that I'm reading my book and la la la and then finally get to the smutty part, and that's, of course, the days he's gone. I'm like, oh great, here we are. I'm at the sex part. I'm super excited. All I want is to jump on him, and he's who knows where in the world. So that was also the part where I was like, well, I do need to find something else to read, because this is not working. I'm always at that point when he's gone.
Speaker 2:So I discovered erotica for reading for myself and I was looking for short stories, because I basically needed 10 minutes before he came to bed to get excited, to be already in the right mood, and then we can jump on each other. And I couldn't really find anything that I actually liked that was not too out there, not too closed door, whatever. I just didn't find a voice where I was like, yeah, this works. So I started writing it myself and I wasn't planning to actually publish those. I was just writing it kind of for myself, to get excited while the process of writing and maybe share it with some friends and somehow or other I was like, oh, let me just put it out on Amazon and see what happens. And yeah, it went just so much better than I ever expected I was like okay, I guess this is my journey. Here we are.
Speaker 1:So now you are turning people on all over the world with your that is the plan for sure, right. I have to hope that I haven't obviously been able to read all of your books, but that there's some erotica around, like pilots out there. There's got to be right, you've got to have written.
Speaker 2:Actually not too much. I only have one that happens on the airplane, but it's not with the pilot, but I do go into the whole uniform situation. So I do have a police officer and I got ex-military and, like the whole cliche, I got blue collar plumber, the whole row, yeah.
Speaker 1:You just line up the different kind of men out there and write erotica around them. Yeah, I love that, I love that. So what's your, what's your bet? All right, so in your own personal, what's your own personal sweet spot? Is it the man in uniform? I have to think. Maybe it's that.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, it is definitely that, yep.
Speaker 1:So lately and I think I want to get into this conversation so my desires, when I am ravenous for sex with a man, as a single woman especially, but I think also for women who aren't single, the thing that your fantasy life offers up is variety, Because a fantasy is a fantasy right, and we'll get into talking about fantasy versus reality. So you get kind of like this banquet of desires that you can fulfill either through reading erotica hopefully, in this case obviously porn or your own imagination. And when I get ravenous for a man, which happens on occasion, I find that what I am hungry for changes and recently, what I'm hungry for. I'm a short woman. I did a little YouTube clip on this.
Speaker 1:I'm a very short woman and oftentimes I've shied away from really, you know, like tall, big men, because I feel like I need to leave them for the tall women, because tall women only want the big boys. And I'm, like, you know, everybody like pretty much if you are five, eight and up, you look tall to me. I'm five foot tall. But lately I've been wanting a tall, big hunk of a man Like I want him to be like thick, like the trunk of a truck, I want to scale him and his big, thick body to get to the top. I want a big guy, I want a big boy, and I don't know like this has been going on for a while, so is that one of the things?
Speaker 2:Yeah, this has been going on for a while. So is that? Is that one of one of the yeah and? And that's actually super interesting because I'm discovering the exact same thing where I'm suddenly I'm looking at at arms and forearms, where before I was like who cares about arms stop working out so so weird, like I want a whole body that looks good, not just chest and arms. And yeah, lately I'm looking at forearms and if the veins pop out I'm like whoa, this is hot.
Speaker 1:Let me touch it. I know and I also have never really been into that I like a good chest and a cute butt on a guy. But lately I'm just I want the, I want, I want big butt on a guy, but lately I'm just I want the, I want, I want big.
Speaker 2:It's funny how it changes how you, how you see different things. Or also, before I never really was into bald, I always like, oh, hair guy needs to have hair.
Speaker 1:But lately I'm like I'm looking at bald guys, I'm like, yeah, this looks good when there's a guy with a good bald head and you know big muscles, it's like oh yeah, I mean, of course it all has to fit together somehow.
Speaker 1:But yeah, it's, it's very interesting how, how we change, I guess, through life, where we're looking at different things so we're not just attracted at that one person or that one kind, it changes and, um, yeah, I'm discovering the same right now yeah, when I was younger it was like I really liked sort of the, the artsy guy, the like musician or writer and they tended to be more, like you know, in shape, but like slender, more slender, not skinny, but you know what I mean and yeah, like into yoga or like the kind of yeah like athletic.
Speaker 1:I'm I maybe I over indulged on that, because that has not been on my list of of urinating at all not, but that's what I used to, that's what I definitely had my stint when I was younger, and now I'm like, did that done that? I want to try something else.
Speaker 2:I guess back to your question. So I'm trying to cover a little of all of it. So of course I'm doing it. It's blonde, it's dark hair, it's blue eyes, it's hazel eyes, green eyes, it's a bulky chest, nice butt, like a little bit of everything. I'm really trying to be as diverse as I can in the books that I find something for everybody.
Speaker 1:Let's dive into the benefits of reading erotica. Like so you started writing it. I'm sure on this journey you have learned a lot about what it does for you and what it does for your readers. Tell me a little bit about that.
Speaker 2:Yes, of course. Well, as I said, what it does for me. So I'm actually. I get excited, I get aroused while I'm writing it, which sometimes also turns into kind of a problem, because I need to take a break, I need to go to the couch bedroom, whatever, help myself out, and if the husband is home, lucky. If not, well, too bad. So that works for sure. And I also I'm trying to see what it does for my readers.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to listen to the feedback. Unfortunately, most of the feedback I get is through reviews, but I just recently had one review that really really got me, that really touched me. I was like, yes, this is why I'm doing it. And there was this lady that wrote the review under one of my books. She's like, oh, this book is great and I, I enjoyed it a lot, the whole, nothing too specific. And then the last sentence was, oh, and my husband wanted to say thank you as well, because we had a wonderful night. And I was like, wow, this is great. This is what I'm trying to do.
Speaker 2:I was trying To get erotica in your bedroom, to have you excited as a woman, for your man or for yourself, it doesn't matter, but I feel like. I like to watch porn, of course, and I know what it is about, but it doesn't always work for me. Sometimes the reading is just so much more I can imagine, so much more that I and sometimes with the porn it takes me so long to find one too, because I'm looking for a very specific man and I'm like, oh God, this face, no, this body, no, scroll, scroll, scroll. And 20 minutes later I'm like, oh, my God, I just want something. So with the book it is just so much easier because I can imagine this guy how I want to imagine him.
Speaker 1:I love that yeah Watching porn.
Speaker 2:You wanted to say something.
Speaker 1:No, I mean, I have the same thing Like I. I, especially this year, I have been single and I have I have been single and I have I speak a lot about it a robust sex life with myself. Now, I don't always watch porn. I think it's really important not to attach all of your own eroticism with porn or visuals in that industry. But every once in a while I'm like I want to get real dirty and then you hop on there and and you know I owe, I have toys I use, so I always put the toy on me and then I start scrolling, thinking it will like help me pick and it really doesn't like.
Speaker 1:It's amazing how quickly like the wrong visual can can like just kill the libido, and I think that that is something wonderful about erotica is you set up the story but the reader gets to actually create the people in the story, use kind of your outline of what they look like, but then fill it in with the details as they'd want them to be Right and, as we mentioned, that can change from day to day, right? I've even found, like when watching porn, sometimes the female in it, who I'm sort of putting myself in the body of, if the if the female doesn't look right. Not I'm not putting down how women look, but like it doesn't resonate with me, that can throw off my ability to get an orgasm. But what I loved that you pointed out is that you have actually had feedback that it has helped people improve their sex life in the bedroom.
Speaker 1:Now I often have a guest on this podcast, dominatrix Lucy, who is always talking. She loves to read erotica, so I'll have to send her some of yours. And what she loves to do is actually she dominates her male partner, so this doesn't happen, but she actually reads while he takes care of her, reads out loud the erotica while he takes care of her in whatever way she tells him to. Are you designing your stories for that?
Speaker 2:I do. Yes, actually Some of my stories not every single one, but I'd say 80% of them are actually written also in dual perspective. So one chapter from her point of view and then the next chapter from his point of view. So it's also made for reading as a couple, so I can read the female chapter and then my partner can read the male chapter.
Speaker 1:All right, this is interesting to me. You obviously have a lot of experience with the female's perspective. In your opinion, what can men learn by reading erotica? That is, from the woman's perspective?
Speaker 2:certain things, the foreplay, for example, how, what, what that means, how important that is for us, how important fingers, mouth, everything is, how diversity, how important that is that we don't just always want missionary in in the bedroom. And so I, with what I'm writing, I'm just trying to be diverse and and cover a lot of different things, and also I'm trying to write one book. They're short stories, so one book has about 30 to 40 pages and I have between three and five sex scenes in those couple pages and I'm trying to be different in each sex scene. So one might be just oral, one might be with a toy, and then one maybe there's a friend now joining and they have a threesome. So in one book we have different scenarios or we do some light bondage, some BDSM, just all the different things you can imagine, all the fantasies.
Speaker 1:How do you do the research for your books?
Speaker 2:Oh, here's a good question. So some of it has to do with wine night with the girls and I'm getting together with some girlfriends and we talk about it. We have a couple of wines and we're like okay, what do you think, what do you want, what would you like to read, what do you? And I get my inspiration there and write it down. And sometimes it's just inspiration just comes in the day that I'm thinking of something. I'm like, oh, wow, this plumber, yeah, I should use him. And most of the experience, I guess I the research, I have experienced it myself to a point. And then I I keep going. I'm like you know what? It would have been nice if his brother would have joined. And then I build the story and just continue there.
Speaker 1:Brothers, brothers, yeah, oh so brothers, all right, all right. This All right. So you really go. You go with this. I love brothers. That's a whole new, a whole new. All right, so you can vouch. I started this podcast because I felt like men had no idea the type of conversations and fantasies that women share and talk about. The concept of the podcast is based on giving sort of the world at large specifically men, but everybody a sort of a peek into the conversations women have about sex and our desires and what we are true, our true experience wants needs thoughts around sex. You can you vouch.
Speaker 2:We go hard, like we have some, you know, and yeah, we I mean we, we're talkers, we women need to talk, we need to communicate. If, if I meet my girlfriends, we're not. I mean, I see it with my husband when he goes on a bike ride with his friends. They ride next to each other and I ask him at the end oh, what did you talk about it? It's like we went on a ride. I'm like what did you talk about? Yeah, I guess nothing. I'm like well, if I'm together with my girlfriends, that's all we do. We talk and, of course, we complain about the partner. We talk about what they did, what they didn't do, and we also share. Okay, well, this was interesting. Last night, this happened. Wow, have you experienced that? So, yeah, we're very open about it.
Speaker 1:Right and I think people underestimate what our desires look like and our fantasies and the things that we're really willing to do if given the opportunity, the right partner, the right situation. You know, as far as like experimentation, and you know this brings me to translating fantasy to reality. I think erotica gives people reading it, writing it, gives people women specifically, but also men who are reading it the space to explore fantasies.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:But how does that translate to real life?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was about to say so. Most of that for me is fantasy and it doesn't have to happen. I mean, yeah, a threesome is great, but it doesn't have to happen, it's fine. But I do want to read about it, I want to fantasize about it, I want to have it in my mind, think about it. That does not mean that I have to have a threesome once a week. No, by no means.
Speaker 1:Maybe once a year, but not once a week. Your face gives away so much. I know I heard that before. Don't worry, I won't press the brother topic.
Speaker 2:He doesn't even have a brother, it's so sad.
Speaker 1:Oh, my god, I love this. I'm I'm tagging that in my next fantasy, my masturbation fantasy. I've never I've brothers, have never entered my room. I don't know how. It's weird, all the stuff that has. I'm like, all right, I'm tagging that one in the next date. You go on, you'll be like and you have any brothers I wonder, I wonder what that would do to the trajectory of the date. Would it end? It would it like, and I don't know I would think guys would not even that.
Speaker 2:It wouldn't even click. They'll be like, yeah, I got a brother, whatever. I don't think they see the connection right there. I mean depending how you word it, I guess.
Speaker 1:So do you have a brother, can you?
Speaker 2:take some photos.
Speaker 1:Can I see him? Does he look anything like you? Better, maybe no Size guys? Yeah, no, I think, again, men underestimate what goes on in our heads erotically and I do hear feedback from my male listenership again and again and again.
Speaker 1:They think women hate sex, don't want sex. Their experience in their relationships has been sex, don't want sex. Their experience in their relationships has been she doesn't want sex anymore, she won't give me sex anymore. But I again, I don't think that's because she doesn't want sex. I think it's because you don't know how to tap into her eroticism and perhaps she doesn't either. So reading erotica is a wonderful way for a woman to tap into her own eroticism. Right, like you are mapping out already you've talked about some. Like you talked about something I haven't even thought about, blown my mind. You are, I'm impressed. I'm impressed You're mapping out all of these fantasies and a woman who might feel and I do as an intimacy coach, I've definitely had women who are just like I just I don't get turned on anymore and I miss. I miss feeling that spark and that passion by reading different types of eroticas, different scenarios. It gives a woman an opportunity to like, see what lights her up, right, that's, and that's exactly how I started that I had that problem in between.
Speaker 2:I didn't, I didn't light up anymore. I was like what's wrong with me? I'm in my 30s, my sex life should be out of the door, it should just be going. And I didn't feel like it. I was like what's wrong with me? I'm in my 30s, my sex life should be out of the door, it should just be going. And I didn't feel like it. I was like, huh, it's nothing, he hasn't changed, nothing is wrong with him.
Speaker 2:I love him, but I just don't feel like it, and especially not on a schedule when, of course, when he comes home, that's what he wants. He's been gone for three or four days and I'm like, no, not right now and not like this and don't touch me like that. So it helped me a lot to explore myself, my own intimacy and my headspace, those fantasies that are in my head that I had no idea before, and writing it out and reading about it just helped me in my own journey in this one year. So so much that I can only encourage everyone out there just read it, just try it. I will link a free book in the show notes, so there's nothing attached to it, just try it, see how it goes.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about erotica as a tool for women who want to reignite, spark and turn up the passion in their life Between the times that they're with their male partner if they have one like a husband, or even when they're single.
Speaker 1:Because I would say as an intimacy coach, feeding that fire, nurturing your eroticism and excitement and libido is key to not only your mental and physical health but also your relationship, to maintaining and having this incredible relationship right. You can't expect for the guy to come home and the woman to just be like, all right, let's bang. I mean, that can happen if she's stoking the fires of her own passion between intimate encounters. But can you talk about how a woman who is sitting here right now just going like, yeah, I don't care about sex anymore, I don't feel it, I've lost it. I'm just facing the fact that I'm going to have to lay down and have sex when he wants it and I'm never going to feel anything again? Can you talk about how reading erotica can be used to start to wake up that part of her again?
Speaker 2:Sure, I think we I think porn destroyed a lot of it, that, or social media in general that we have just certain expectations, maybe to ourselves, to our partner, to our relationship, that it is very hard to meet those expectations. What is the word Expectations? There we go, and so to just give yourself some space and don't expect anything and I think communication is a big part here too Communicate with the partner, lean back, go back a step and then start at the beginning, try, try at the beginning again and start reading, start imagination, imagine, imagining god, what hard words today. And and dreaming. Just lay back and dream, think about your fantasies. But what, what would you like? I mean?
Speaker 2:I think that is one thing I never even thought about. We were joking about this whole brother thing. That was never in my head before either, until I started reading and then writing. And suddenly I write about this book about two Greek brothers and I'm like wow, yeah, actually this is kind of cool, this is hot. I think we just need to open ourselves up some more. And if you're already thinking I don't want it anymore, I'm done with it, then you're already so closed that it's very hard to open again and to bloom again. We need to take the expectations down and just yeah, start again. Open up.
Speaker 1:Women forget that sex, sexuality, sensuality, is all about pleasure. It's like the equivalent of eating really yummy food, right, it's just access to that level of pleasure in a different way. But women, especially in our society, start to feel like sex is all about work. It's about performance, it's about pleasing someone else, it's about looking good enough for someone else, it's about getting him off. We forget that it's not. It's really about our pleasure. It's about indulging in fantasy. It's about feeling good in our body. It's about our bodies lighting up Again. Last night I couldn't even stop to go to bed, even though I knew I had to get up in the morning, because the pleasure I was experiencing was at such a heightened level. I'm like, oh, I've got to see where this goes, because it was like. It was like, you know, having all my favorite desserts around me and just yeah, being able to have just a different zone.
Speaker 2:You're just letting go of all those thoughts, like you said that oh, how do I look? Is my hair good?
Speaker 1:I didn't have to think about that at all last night Exactly.
Speaker 2:You were by yourself. But even with a partner, once you're in that zone, none of that matters. You're in a different headspace.
Speaker 1:Right and honestly, if you just, once you get to the point where you are, enjoy again the pleasure of sex and sexuality and sensuality, when you start to claim that as your own things like do I look good enough for him? Don't even register. Right, because you understand this is my pleasure, this is my place of being Right, and so anybody else who gets to come and be in that with you is lucky. Right, because it's an energy that will be given off and I think that when you read erotica it starts to ignite that that part of you you know, like your body, you'll get flushed right, you're, you're, you know you get excited.
Speaker 1:your chest will flush, your cheeks will flush, your breath will pick up as you're reading erotica. And I think one of the other things and correct me if I'm wrong is they are shorter stories, right. Reading erotica isn't like, oh my God, reading I don't read a book, no, it's more like a couple of articles in the magazine.
Speaker 2:Like I said, it's 30 pages and in those pages it's three to five chapters. So even if you just read one chapter, it takes you five minutes. But there is a sex scene in there 100% and it will do something to you, so it is something you can bring into the bedroom.
Speaker 1:You can literally read it with your partner. But before we dive into erotica and a couple using in your sex life, I want to go back to the fact that you said you also write scenes from the male point of view, which I find really interesting. A how do you? How do you? You're not a guy, how do you do that? B what can men learn from reading how you would write their voice?
Speaker 2:pretty much yourself. Yeah, what men can learn from it. Well, obviously I'm not a guy. I don't know how it feels for them exactly. So how I'm writing is how I think, as a female, how it should feel for him, what he should do to her. So that's what guys can learn, that I'm writing, basically your perspective. So that's what I think it should be, what you, what you should do, and um the then how I write it, yeah, it's uh, well, I mean, a lot of it is research. I do ask the husband, of course he's part of it, but, um, no, I don't. I just don't know 100% how it is. I'm writing how I think it should be, how it should feel, how I believe what is going on down there. So, yeah, it is. I guess call it fantasy. I don't know, it's not proven, it's not biological, it's not 100%.
Speaker 1:Do you ever wish you could have a penis for a day?
Speaker 2:I think we all do, don't we? Yes, for a day. Yes, no, definitely not forever, not for longer, but just to know how it feels, what's going on, how the brain just shuts off.
Speaker 1:Yes, I mean I would like maybe a week or a month. I feel like it'd be the biggest slut though I'd want to, I think I'd want to stick it in everything I know myself. I feel like it would feel so good to just have this big hard thing hanging off my body and like put it in stuff.
Speaker 2:I don't know and I yeah, I guess in one day it's probably going to be hard to even learn how to work with. I mean, guys have have years of learning, like what's going on with their body. So to experience that in one day and to control it is probably a hard one, but-.
Speaker 1:You'd need more than a day.
Speaker 2:Maybe, but it definitely would be interesting. I would definitely love to know how it feels. What you can do, yes.
Speaker 1:I just feel like it must feel so good. That's what my imagination I feel like. Sometimes I can feel what it would feel like. But I love that you do that, that you write from the men's point of view, because you know, on book talk and stuff like that you'll see women laughing at the way men write women's character because it's so off what we experience. And I think for men to read and get in the mindset of how we would want them to show up sexually is a great way, for they may be like yeah, I don't work like that at all. Fine, we know you don't work like that, but maybe try this on if you want to turn us on, just like we hear how you meet in the middle sometimes or we can take turns being that sort of sexy ideal self.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, true, I mean, that's where we have it. We have again communication and then talking to each other, figuring out how we feel, how we see it.
Speaker 1:Do many men read erotica? Do you know? Have you gotten feedback?
Speaker 2:I guess I started off with targeting women. I still do. My target audience are women, but just from reviews and from my mailing list, I do see way, way more male subscribers, male reviews, than I expected. I cannot say a percentage or anything, but it is a lot more than I expected.
Speaker 1:I am constantly impressed by how many men are really curious and want to be better in bed and want to have a better sex life and want to play a role in that and want to understand what women want.
Speaker 1:You know, avalon and I were talking Avalon and I were talking before we launched into this interview about kind of our experiences, mine specifically, being a public figure in the arena of talking about sex and how I'm constantly surprised at. When I started talking about sex openly as a woman, I thought I was ready for the men to come for me and just send me lots of nasty messages and I shared with her. I've been shocked over the three plus years maybe I'm going on four, I guess I should figure that out that easily 85% of the feedback I've gotten from men, the messages I've gotten from men has been supportive and positive and helpful. So this is a great way to learn, listener, by reading erotica that women are writing. First of all, it's not like you're diving into a novel. You're diving into some short stories. You can really learn what we fantasize about, what we want, how we see you and your mindset, and even if that's not your mindset, you can use it as a guide, correct?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I guess also some expectations that women have. Maybe. I mean it might be old fashioned, but we do want to be treated as a princess once in a while. Yeah, I want you to hold the door open for me, even if we've been married for 20 years. There's just certain things that just change the dynamics. That I want you to do and you probably don't even know. And I think erotica is kind of a bridge maybe in between. That brings us a little closer in sexuality.
Speaker 1:I love that idea of it as a bridge. So, speaking of what are ways that couples, partners can use erotica in the bedroom to help reignite that spark, or to get the spark going for couples who have been together for a while and you're like we want to have sex but we at home and we're not in the mood, and then we sit down, we watch TV and then it's like let's just go to bed. It's too much work to you.
Speaker 2:know how is how could erotica play a role? Pages. And then, um, the woman was wearing black lace or something. She's like, are you wearing black, black lace? And I'm like, oh, actually I am. And here we are, we. We just started the conversation.
Speaker 2:He already got aroused because he was reading the first three pages. I don't even remember what I was doing, but suddenly we started kissing and touching it, touching each other, and ended up having a great night, awesome sex. And it started with erotica and he was reading it, and the same the other way around. As I said before, I get aroused when I read it, so I start touching him. When I read about the two brothers, I'm like, okay, I got one right here, let's just go for it. So I think it's a great conversation starter to.
Speaker 2:Also, if you maybe read the same story, you don't have to read it out loud, you can read it separately and then talk about it and be like, well, what, what did you like out of the book? Oh, I like, I really liked how, how he carried her. And then, well, what did you like? Oh, I really liked how, how she was wearing her lace underwear. And there we go. We got a conversation going and we slowly figure out what each of us likes or what they dislike. So, conversation starter definitely.
Speaker 2:Then ideas there's so many ideas in those books, so many things that you can do at home, from light bondage to wax play, to you name it. It's all in there, just ideas, I think. I think sometimes, like you said, we just get lazy and we don't even want to think about it and maybe we just need to need that idea and be like, oh yeah, let's just uh, get the tie and tie his hands up and see what happens. Or the other way around, tell him that I want some blindfold and just start an experience and play with it.
Speaker 1:What is the wildest, kinkiest thing you've written about?
Speaker 2:That I have written about.
Speaker 1:That someone could find in one of your books.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess that the two brothers is one of them. I we had it now a million times in this conversation. Um it, I have to say I'm not going too far out into BDSM and super wild because I want to keep it relatable. I want to keep it realistic. More or less it is fantasy 200%, but it is still contemporary and more or less realistic. So I don't have there's no peeing.
Speaker 1:I mean, if you're looking for You'd be surprised how many people pee on each other.
Speaker 2:And if you're into that and if you're looking for that, that's great, but that's not what I'm writing. I'm more in the mainstream.
Speaker 1:More vanilla a little bit, except Two Brothers is probably not vanilla.
Speaker 2:Fine, the Two Brothers are just fine.
Speaker 1:Maybe vanilla, you know folks, anybody out there? By the way, at this point in this conversation, I have to say if you are someone who's been with two brothers, or you are two brothers that are down to have sex with the same woman, will you please message me? I want to interview you, I want to talk to you and then I'll share with you Avalon I'd have to bring you on for that one.
Speaker 1:So do volunteer, please. Your husband, how has he reacted to all this? Has he ever been shocked, has he? I mean, he comes home from a long trip one day and you're like babe, I'm writing erotica, I'm writing about sex, that's what I'm doing now. And he says yeah, babe, I'm writing erotica, I'm writing about sex, that's what I'm doing now.
Speaker 2:And he says yeah, no, actually I mentioned before, I started at the beginning of this year and I am a very shy person in in real life and it took me until May, I think, to talk about what I'm doing at all. And I opened up to my best friend first and similar to what you're experiencing. All I got was support and it was oh my God, this is amazing. Finally somebody is doing this and coming out, and I'm so proud of you. They said the other.
Speaker 2:And then, only a couple of weeks later, I told my husband I'm like well, listen, he knew I was writing romance, the smutty kind that's been going on for a while and he liked it. And I was like you know what, with this whole romance thing, I kind of got tired of it. And I was like you know what, with this whole romance thing, I kind of got tired of it, it's too long. And I decided to cut the romance and just be with the good part. And he's like what do you mean? I'm like, well, I'm just writing porn now. And he's like whoa, really, can I read it? And he was surprised, but positively, very, very positive, and he's been nothing but supportive and we're not going to a party together, and that's the first thing I say as a private person. I'm like oh yeah, I'm an erotica author. No, I do still need to meet the people before I tell them what I do. I'm still a little shy about it.
Speaker 1:But you'll get there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and going on to podcasts, I mean, I'm slowly getting out of my shell.
Speaker 1:I would like to. Before we check out here, I want to talk to people out there. I want you and I to brainstorm some ways that couples, individuals, can use erotica to enhance their sex lives. Starting tonight, they go and they download your book, which I will have a link to in the show notes, and obviously, if you sign up for my e-newsletter, folks, not only will you get a link to my only fans, you will get a link to her erotica, and then you can read her erotica while checking out my only fans. I mean, I don't know, it's like the duo. You didn't know that you needed.
Speaker 1:It is my Merry Christmas present to you, is what I'm saying. So I want to create maybe a little erotica bucket list, a little erotica bucket list after the show. So you got the erotica, let's just name some things. People could obviously reading it, but how how can they just use it to next level, wherever they're at? I am going to just start. I'll leap in with couples and I'm going to share some ideas that have been in past podcasts of Via Lucy. Lucy, who loves erotica. I will be sending her your information. She loves reading. I think reading erotica aloud with your partner, like I think there is nothing sexier than the idea of me reading, either having my lover laying in bed next to me, candles and stuff going, even if we didn't have sex on our bucket list for the night and just reading out loud and seeing what happens, seeing what their response is, seeing what my response is, just reading it out loud, to start with in the bedroom before bed. Turn off the TV.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess, turn off the TV is already a big, big one. And just in general, phone TV, ipad off. So yeah, just a book or the Kindle e-reader, I guess, is allowed. Yeah, yeah, what other options? I think we mentioned already a couple different ones the reading out loud, then we can read it as a couple, like I said, with the dual perspective, so I can read one chapter and then he can read the other chapter. If we get there, maybe we don't even make it.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that taking turns from the perspective and in the voice. That actually also could help couples who are wanting to step into role play but are struggling to step into role play. Another way in which this could help by doing reading out loud. If you go back listeners and check out, I did a podcast episode on Sex Talk 101. People have a hard time talking sexy or getting into the sex talk. This could be a great way to start trying on some sex talk. I love that idea and you don't even need to be with your partner to do that. You can just be reading aloud on your own and getting used to the words in your mouth and trying the different phrases in different voices and seeing how you feel about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a great way to do it, for sure. And you mentioned role play, so that is also. Some of the scenes in my book start with role play, and I guess some of the books are role play altogether. I mean, when I mention a police officer, yes, in the book it's a real police officer, but in the bedroom, well, the husband is a pilot. So can you be a police officer for tonight please? Police officer for tonight, please. So yeah, just the ideas that, all those fantasy ideas that that are in those books, yeah, you can just take them and slowly implement them.
Speaker 1:Well, you can even use, maybe, the different topics in the books as a way of creating your own bucket list of things you want to try and find out more about and the way to start. If you're feeling like you want maybe to try something in your real life but you're too afraid, you can start by reading about it, like, start with the reading and keeping it in the fantasy realm, but then you bring that the book into the bedroom with your partner. Um, if you can, I throw out some ideas, for if you want to get kinky with erotica, yeah please. Lucy has mentioned in the past she's a dominatrix and she has a queening chair a queening chair. You know what a queening chair is? It's like it looks like oh my. So she sits on that and she restrains her partner under her and he takes care of her orally while she reads.
Speaker 1:I think that if you want to really start teaching your man how to get into our mind frame, have him read while you get him excited and take care and do some cock worship while he's reading, something that typically maybe wouldn't be in the man's mindset. That could be really fun to see how he reacts as he's reading it and you're getting him excited. I also think if you are kinky and into like a little BDSM orgasm control, a little BDSM orgasm control, you could restrain each other and maybe put you know either the wand on the woman or whatever there are different tools, masturbation tools for men and have them like in that position while you, she's drinking water, she's like while you read the erotica to them. Like, restrain them and read the erotica, spank them. If they're not listening well enough, quiz them at the end of the story and if they do not have the right answer, that paddle comes out. What I love it, don't you? Huh, come on.
Speaker 2:I know that's a great idea. It's growing on me.
Speaker 1:So those are just a couple ideas, just a few ideas off the top of my head.
Speaker 2:I hope we get some feedback from the listeners to come up with some more ideas maybe.
Speaker 1:I would love that Send us your ideas on how you can use, or well use or are using erotica in your personal life.
Speaker 2:Yes, are using Exactly what's worked.
Speaker 1:You may find that a little bit of your story ends up in her next erotica story.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes please.
Speaker 1:I love it. All right, guys, our time is up. I am going to drop that link, but can you please tell everyone where they can go to find your stories.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm on Amazon Kindle. Like you said it before, we're kind of hiding out there. It's very hard to bring this content out in the world. So also Amazon thinks erotica is evil. So if you are in the regular search bar from Amazon that says all departments, you will not find me. If you search for Abaddon Lust, you do have to change it to either books or Kindle and in the search bar, and then you will find me. So I'm a little bit hiding in there. But yeah, my link will be in the show notes so you can get straight to my Amazon page and then there's a button where you can just follow me on Amazon as well, so you won't miss out when the next book comes out.
Speaker 1:Perfect. So, as Avalon said, I think women who are trying to create content to help people in their sex lives are really struggling to find ways to get that information out there. Most of the digital ways really suppress our content and I know for a fact from the feedback I get from my listeners, from the people that I'm talking to, that you guys want to have better sex lives, that you want the information that we're offering, and that, again, is why I have had to resort to OnlyFans just to get helpful guides to better sex out to you. It is one of the only platforms I have found that gives me creative freedom, that doesn't suppress and gives me control over my content. So make sure to scroll down. You're going to get a free erotica link to erotica book from her. Make sure to subscribe to my e-newsletter because I'll be sending out all this stuff, and then check out my only fans account. I know there's stigma around it, folks but I can't wait.
Speaker 1:I want to check it out yeah, I know there's stigma, um, but it is a great place to get access to the information you deserve to have in order to have a better sex life with yourself. I got a good one, and with your partner, so thank you so much for joining me today. This was a really fun conversation and I'm looking forward to maybe, maybe I will read some of your erotica and record it and put it on my OnlyFans, would you like that?
Speaker 2:I would love that.
Speaker 1:I will do that, folks.
Speaker 2:I'm too insecure with my accent to actually read it myself, but I would love to hear you read it.
Speaker 1:I will do that. In fact, by the time this goes live, I will have taken at least a clip of one of your erotica pieces, recorded it and I will put it on my OnlyFans page for you guys to listen to and get a feel for. How about that? Yay, how exciting, what a great collaboration, yes, perfect. So, guys, check it out. And until next time, I really hope that you and I, avalyn, get together again and have another conversation, whether it's with two brothers. God, that would be great. Oh my God, I can't wait. I can't wait Right or what. I'm sure you and I can come up with great topics. So until next time. Thanks so much, listeners, I will see you in the locker room.
Speaker 1:Cheers Listeners, I will see you in the locker room Cheers.