Locker Room Talk & Shots Podcast

How Women Want Men To Flirt With Them! (Strategies You Can Count On)

She Explores Life Season 2

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 Ready to upgrade your flirting from 'meh' to mind-blowing? In this episode, I bring in my besties, Andi and Carrie, to dish on exactly what makes women say, "Yes, please!" We’re spilling our juiciest secrets—from giving her friends a little extra love in group settings to dropping compliments that hit harder than basic pick-up lines. Think you know how to flirt? Think again. We’ve got real stories and spicy tips to keep you from fumbling, whether it's a wild night out or a first message on a dating app. Grab a drink, tune in, and get ready to flirt like a pro.

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Speaker 1:

Do the sex Think fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy. One female orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's locker room talk and shots topic is how women want men Ring loud oftentimes not the friendliest from men saying that women don't want men to approach them or that they can't talk to women because women just get offended by everything. And I'm here with two of my closest friends. If you have been watching Two Girls Sharing Toys to girls sharing toys sex toys reviews, which is on my YouTube channel at Talk Sex with Annette, you have already met both of them, andy and Carrie, who have been sharing toys with me and helping me review them for you.

Speaker 1:

Both Andy and Carrie, and also myself, are single, and we also have a community of women who we talk to about all single things, and we would all love to be hit on by cool, hot, respectful men, and so what we decided to do is to get together and help you out. We are going to, in this podcast episode, create a guidebook, if you will, a little how-to manual for navigating flirting with women, both online and out in the wild. By the end of this podcast, you are going to have some tangible takeaways that you can use to go pick up a woman tonight or try to, politely and in a way that will lead to success. Right, ladies, we have some advice. So that's what we're going to do Listen to the end, because you will be able to go forth and flirt without you know blowing it when you're done with this podcast. That's our promise, right?

Speaker 1:

100% 100% All right. So we are drinking what was left in my refrigerator today, which is truly an N White from the summer parties, and let's talk about getting hit on ladies Cheers, let's do it, Okay. I want to start with how we want to be approached in public by men who are interested in us. That's the first setting we should cover, Whether it is a club, a grocery store, a bar, you're out to dinner with your girlfriends. If you are sitting with your girlfriends, how can a man approach you without getting super shot down for interrupting a girl's dinner? I would love your guys' thoughts on that. I know what I would like. I'm all for buying a bottle of champagne for the table and just being like hey.

Speaker 2:

That is a very nice intro. I come bearing gifts, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and for everybody at the table. But then you can say hey, I bought this round, my name is so-and-so, and I noticed somebody sitting at the table and I'd like to buy her and her friends a round of drinks or a bottle of champagne and then, if she has time, to talk later on, that's actually really clever to connect to, because that way it definitely seems like the guy is focused on introducing himself to one person, but acknowledging that she is that we are there with our friends, right, right, um you cannot just buy her a drink, you cannot just send a drink to the table that is just for her.

Speaker 2:

You have to be like well, you can, yeah, you can, but that's going to feel weird.

Speaker 1:

It feels weird to her Cause she's there with her girlfriends and then her girlfriends are like oh, should you go and talk to him? So the other key to that is not insisting on. I just bought you something. You need to acknowledge me now. I think it's like here's a round of drinks for the table. I noticed this person. You can include your number or whatever and say and if you have time later on tonight, I see you're busy with girlfriends. I'd love to connect no-transcript.

Speaker 1:

What is an approach that doesn't work? That happens too often.

Speaker 3:

I think in my experience, approaches have failed when somebody has not recognized that I'm not in a space to receive them, that either I'm with somebody else, I'm engaged with somebody else, or maybe, if it's at the grocery store, I look a little frenzied, maybe I'm trying to get something Like like try and pay attention to the social cues, like if, if I'm engaged, otherwise engaged, I don't look like I have the bandwidth to receive it, then then be aware of that. And then, if you still decide to approach like tread lightly, know that you're like coming in to somebody's, like energy or space, and you have to be mindful of that.

Speaker 1:

And okay with rejection or just simply seeing that it's not received well and like your ego in in flirting with anyone and approaching anyone, has to be ready for rejection and not personalizing it, Because even if what a woman doesn't respond to you, personalizing it? Because even if a woman doesn't respond to you, it's not really necessarily even about you. You know, it's about where she is in a moment in time and what she's focused on and what she's doing. And if she's, you don't know what her day has been like. You don't don't make it about you, but I think you bring up something important, Carrie, which is looking for social cues.

Speaker 2:

We can do. I don't know if you have yet, but we could do an entire another podcast just on social cues, social cues, guys, just being able to read those. Yes, I'm open to more conversation. Or, like you said, I'm frenzied, I'm like I look hurried and there are people who are just not able to pick up on that.

Speaker 1:

Do you?

Speaker 2:

think Maybe that's part of it.

Speaker 1:

So I think one of the biggest takeaways from this is, if you are a dude and you don't know how to pick up on social cues from women, that's going to be a big reason why you aren't successful at hitting on women. You really need to pay attention to her experience and where she's at, and I think we will also give social cues, like if I know, if I'm out and I see a man that I'm interested in, I will do very specific things, like I'll make sure I make eye contact at a certain point and if I make eye contact, I'll be very open and smile. If I hold your gaze for a good couple of seconds, like then, I'm probably pretty open reasonably well and reasonably interested right, because I'm trying to make a visual connection right, we will look away real fucking quick.

Speaker 1:

If we aren't interested and if we look away really quick like you, can still shoot your shot but know that you're choosing to ignore that. She looked away really quick.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 3:

And I think to build on top of that. I think another important aspect is approaching with curiosity too, as opposed to expectation. So remain curious as you approach the expectation. If you start feeling really frustrated and upset by the exchange, it's telling you you're not receiving the same energy back and this is not a successful flirting situation. But approach with curiosity, like, notice something about them and you know it's nice to be called beautiful, but I think we all get called beautiful a lot. It's kind of white noise at this point. Can you find something unique about me that you've noticed, that you can compliment that you? That shows me you've kind of paid attention to beyond just being like hey, she's good looking. Let me approach merely on that.

Speaker 1:

Let's talk about physical compliments. What are ways that they can? I think I think, andy, um, it's true, if someone hasn't met you yet, they don't know anything about you. The only things they can approach you about are what they see physically. And so what I mean it makes sense to say, wow, you really caught my attention and I just wanted I felt like I needed to like meet you. You caught my eye, I noticed X about you and I just wanted to take a moment to like let you know you stole my attention. My name is so-and-so. I'd like to know you if you're interested as well. I don't know what is. What is a physical compliment or some sort of a compliment someone can use to approach you? That works.

Speaker 1:

I had, I've had some grocery. Grocery stores actually are ripe ground, if you're in the right head space. Um, I actually had a guy walk up to me I unfortunately was unfortunately in a relationship at the time, um, and he was a good looking guy and I had, I had like noticed him checking me out and and I could, and I could sense like he wanted to say something. And he finally just walks up and he's like hey, um, I noticed you and you caught my attention and I would really regret it if I didn't like take the moment to introduce myself. I don't know what your situation is, but my name is so-and-so.

Speaker 2:

Well, that feels like it would be completely successful, just based on I saw you. You caught my interest. I don't know if you're interested, but I would like to put it out there because I don't feel like that's leading with expectations of this is going to be a date or I need validation back from you because I complimented you.

Speaker 1:

Right, right, like I mean I think that's an important thing too is if, and in this situation I was in a relationship. So I said to him oh, you know, that's very flattering, you made my day with this compliment, but I'm actually in a relationship, so and and I said, and I think I even said I want it I didn't want to squash his approach and like his ability to do that. So I was like, just so you know, like I think, like it's really cool that you took the time you know to to let me know. But do you think physical compliments are just destined to ruin? Like coming up and saying hey, you're beautiful are just destined to ruin? Like coming up and saying hey, you're beautiful, can it ever be done in a way like that doesn't kind?

Speaker 2:

of make a woman feel a little uncomfortable or things that don't give me the the ick when they're physical. Compliments are things that you could compliment anyone on, like eyes or smile, um, or, like you said earlier, just energy, right?

Speaker 1:

um, I noticed your countenance when you walked in the room, like you seemed very confident and I appreciate that about a woman and that does show curiosity, right, like having like noticed that I have definitely had people approach me and mention my confidence, like you know, and it's usually on a night when I'm just feeling really good and I walk into a room and someone you know I've had men approach and just say like specifically compliment me on my energy. I'm just like wow, you seem real confident, or you know, and it starts a conversation. It gives me an opportunity to respond about, like, how I'm feeling.

Speaker 3:

Exactly it opens up for a conversation as opposed to a very one-sided thing that can happen pretty often.

Speaker 1:

What is your favorite thing? To be complimented on Carrie by a random, strange hot dude.

Speaker 3:

I guess I don't have anything one thing that's specific. But if I'm pulling off something unique for the day, um, if you notice that and can compliment that, I love it. And if you remain curious about the thing that maybe you notice about me, like, tell me more.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, what about an outfit? How do you feel if a man walks up and he he notices an outfit you're wearing and says something about your clothes? How do you feel about that?

Speaker 3:

you're thinking about this one long pause.

Speaker 2:

I think the words that are chosen are very important here I mean no clothing, not it.

Speaker 1:

I have definitely had people stop me if I I'll be wearing some dress or something like that. I've've definitely had men stop and comment on my dress.

Speaker 2:

For me it's almost never men that will actually compliment me on what I'm wearing.

Speaker 1:

Oh, would you, but women yes. Would you not like it, though, if a guy complimented you and was like again.

Speaker 2:

That's where I think the words chosen are very important, right? Like, like you say, that I look very well put together, or something to that effect. That's not just like oh, your boobs, your waist, your butt, look, look really good in that outfit.

Speaker 3:

I don't want to be reduced to my looks or my body parts, like you can just say. Like you look fantastic in that dress. I hope it's one that you wear often. Oh I like that and so, and then you know somebody can open up to you more and be like, hey, it is one I wear often, and then you know, build from there. But if they're like thanks and turn away, then you know.

Speaker 1:

I think, first of all, she just gave you a great opening line.

Speaker 2:

I think, first of all, she just gave you a great opening line and, second of all, she just told you what a typical social cue is that women will use when it's like you've said something nice, you've approached them and they know it's sweet, but they're also like I want it to end here.

Speaker 1:

It's like thanks, and then have a good night. We don't further the conversation right, Like we're not asking a question back or elaborating on anything. We will turn towards you and open up if we're ready to talk to you, If we are visually moving away from you, know if it looks like this thanks, like that's a big no.

Speaker 1:

And also I would say this If you approach us in a way that's clearly just about our physicality, first of all, what you said to us, like it's very clear to us Okay, you're just thinking about sex, so we instantly look at you to put on our radar whether or not we'd fuck you and you've made that the first thing in our mind or not we'd fuck you and you've made that the first thing in our mind, and, um, so if you aren't fuckable for us, we aren't going to dig deeper because you haven't.

Speaker 1:

But if you approach us in a way that's like like thoughtful, curious about us, then we want to answer your question, engage with you, and suddenly it's like you know, know, we're seeing you in a more multifaceted way. We're not just objectifying you, which is good for most of you men, because frankly, there are a few men out there anymore in this world where it's just looks that make us want to have sex with you, like looks, just don't do it on their own anymore. I mean, you've got to be like a Greek God. And even then, if your personality is shit, we're like I know.

Speaker 1:

Toys at home, toys at home, and so if you are going to approach us and it's going to be clearly objectifying us because you're just trying to figure out if you can fuck us that night, you have to understand that instantly. We're going to look at you and go, would I?

Speaker 1:

fuck him and if you I don't know, if we just like a aren't in that kind of mood or you aren't our like ideal type for sex, then we're going to get the ick right away and be like no way buddy, no way, right. Yeah, you have to make us interested in more than however you're shaped Like, even if you are a good looking dude and what I mean by good looking dude I mean like by conventional standards, like the average woman would go what you guys like to rate women. So even if you're a 10 on whatever scale of conventionality is out there, it's still not good enough necessarily for us to want to engage in right. We want.

Speaker 3:

We want someone who's got depth yeah, I mean, there are instances and in sometimes maybe it doesn't, but you know overall, I think most people are looking for some depth all right, all right, but okay.

Speaker 1:

So let's be honest, let's say so, guys, like there are instances in which we are out with our girlfriends and we are like I mean, certainly I would say all three of us have gone out together on more than one occasion that we were like huh, like what's for? Is there a snack out there?

Speaker 2:

What's on the menu?

Speaker 1:

Snack tonight. We've definitely done that, maybe recently. So I guess in that case, like, shoot your shot, you're looking, but make sure you look good, you smell good.

Speaker 2:

Don't be belligerently drunk or belligerently anything that alters Maybe the cues you're getting back from us. It's really unattractive to me when someone who is super wasted comes up and I mean, yeah, props for shooting your shot, but that, that is not. That's not attractive.

Speaker 1:

Well, also because we know whiskey dick isn't going to do it for us.

Speaker 2:

Yes, wow, you know what? Maybe you just nailed that right on the head.

Speaker 1:

I mean, if there is no point for us, if you are that drunk, your soldier isn't going to be fighting the good fight. I think humor. I'm telling you I was going to say that too Like yes, if there is.

Speaker 2:

And I think that's hard. It's hard to do with an opening line too.

Speaker 1:

I think you need to write up a couple of just witty, kind of funny opening lines that you could say to almost any woman. That will start banter, I love banter.

Speaker 2:

That makes someone so much more hot.

Speaker 1:

Banter Good banter, good banter, for sure I think.

Speaker 3:

So wait, can we talk real fast about pickup lines? Has it ever been one that worked for either of you guys.

Speaker 1:

I know, no, no, no see, there's not a great success rate, with those cheesy pickup lines, I think when someone comes up and they're blatantly like making a joke out of it and they use some like I've had definitely had a guy with swagger come up and let me do one of the hey, are you?

Speaker 1:

you know whatever like funny, like overtly cheesy, awful pickup lines, and then that's part of being witty okay, then I hook into it with my wit and I'm like, I mean if I, if I think he like, if it's a witty enough and he's attractive and and how do you tell that?

Speaker 2:

you said he walked up with swagger right? Like how do you tell if that swagger is real or if it's like the self deprecating kind of I'm putting it over the top? I?

Speaker 1:

feel like we get the feel, we feel for it. But I think the way in which it's happened, in which it's and that it's worked for me is like I could tell the energy See. First of all, women and I did a whole podcast with a scientist on the differences and I'm talking about sex, not not gender, but females assigned at birth, the way our brains differ from men, and it was a great podcast. You've got to go back and listen to it. Women do pick up on that. We're reading signs out there that men aren't able to pick up, like it's harder for men to pick up on social cues. It's harder for men. Women are reading facial reactions, body reactions from the people around them. That's sort of how our brain is wired. And so in the case that it worked for me, I mean he walked up and he threw it down, knowing it would be funny, and either I'd make a joke out of it with him or I'd be like, haha, all right, you're funny and turn away from him, and he could sort of like exit gracefully.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and he could sort of like exit gracefully, yeah, there wasn't. Here's the thing. This is a big one. Don't be thirsty. Can we talk about? Don't be thirsty.

Speaker 3:

We're talking about desperation here.

Speaker 1:

Like where, it's like how, and could one of you maybe put into words what comes across as thirsty for us? Because thirst is not attractive and this is for either gender. I don't like thirsty.

Speaker 2:

No, like I want to know that you're interested, but if I give you any kind of cue that I'm not interested, I don't want you to continue to pursue it. That feels thirsty to me.

Speaker 1:

Or if you are going around to every girl in the room and we see that and then you come to us. I mean dislike yeah.

Speaker 2:

I mean we want to feel special, right Like. I mean I know I do, I want to. I want to feel like, yes, I was singled out and not number 17 of the 18 that I'm trying today, Right, you know.

Speaker 1:

Right, oh God, that happens so much. Or when a guy comes up and hits on you and maybe you're in a conversation with your girlfriend and you kind of engage and you think, oh, maybe I'll go back and talk to him in a little bit, when I'm done talking to my girlfriend, but then you see him hop to the next girl and the next girl and the next girl that feels yucky, it does no-transcript and I've decided that I am ready to talk.

Speaker 2:

Or is it totally fine for him to move on to the next person and be like okay, well, I didn't get the energetic exchange that I wanted here.

Speaker 1:

I'm still trying to just like, totally like, turn and focus on him for the rest of the night.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean. It's like that happens a lot If you are approaching a woman and like so I approach men, like, look, I will approach people, men, women. You know I'm, I am, I'm obviously bisexual. I've mentioned it here a lot. But I will approach men. If I, if I see a guy that's hot or that I'm interested in for one reason or the other, I will make sure to like connect and say something and understanding very well that that doesn't mean he's going to like dedicate the whole night to me but hoping that, okay, I'm going to have this interaction with him and it's gonna stick in his brain because he's gonna have to turn back to his friends or whatever and later on in the night perhaps he'll, he'll approach me for a conversation and that's worked well for me.

Speaker 1:

usually I find that when I when that you know. But I say my thing, I make myself known. I'm like I'm on scene and I'm wanting to talk to you and I'm willing to. Whether, like you know, I make just kind of a fun comment. I see him doing something, so I've come up and make a little joke or whatever it is, and then I'm willing to give you space and if I caught your interest then you're going to reciprocate later. That's how I work approaching men, and I know it's a little different from woman to man, but I would appreciate the same. So if you approach me, let's say I'm up buying a drink. I always think that's a great time.

Speaker 2:

That is a great time because then you can slide on in and offer to pay for said drink and start a conversation.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, or while drinks are being made. That's a great opportunity. You're stuck next to each other to say some funny, funny things like, and start up a little bit of a conversation. You even can be like so how are you liking the event tonight? Like, what made you decide to come here tonight? Do you like this bar? This is my first time here. Have you been here before? And then if she reciprocates and she's talking to you, the drink is delivered. You can say hey, do you mind if I buy this for you? I mean, that's going to be a winning approach.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm, I think so 100%, and not that it has anything in particular with actually buying the drink, but it's just making that offer to do something nice, and I think that would also be a pretty clear indicator. If a woman was not interested that, then I would say no, thank you, I've got this right Like I would pay for my own if I was definitely not interested in someone.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. What are your thoughts? Carrie.

Speaker 3:

You know again, like if somebody approached me while I was in line to get a drink, again check in and make sure like I I'm reciprocating the energy if you continue, but like that's a great time to try and try and talk to somebody yeah, I think another good time in some clubs and some places.

Speaker 1:

But uh, you know, they've got the unisex bathrooms in the bathroom line in the bathroom you can have the funniest conversations like I don't know over the like the weight. It's like oh, I'll tell you what dudes, let her go first. If you're in front of her and she is hopping from foot to foot and you guys are laughing or talking or whatever, commiser, I'll tell you what a man who will. Let me cut in line to pee first. I'm going to remember that guy. At the very least, you're my good friend.

Speaker 3:

Yes, yes, I have a friend, erica. She's a sexological body worker. She's pretty brilliant. But I participated in this exercise she was running once and it was like an exchange of energy kind of like the idea of like you were holding this filled balloon and you were batting it back and forth with a stranger who was your partner. So it was the idea of returning energy back and forth and, like you know, it was interesting to see people turning it really aggressively or people who kind of held it a little bit before returning it very gently. So I like thinking about exchanges that way in like an energy exchange.

Speaker 3:

And especially when men are approaching women, think about how women feel this day and age. Like you want to establish a sense of safety for them as you're approaching them. If you're not reading their energy, you're approaching hard, you're coming in aggressive, you're not making us feel safe, so you're not going to have a lot of positive feedback there. So I just I would really like people to keep that in mind. Like you, as you are flirting, you want to make them feel safe too.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I think an overarching theme and I do think that men aren't really necessarily conditioned to whether that's social conditioning. Some of it may be the wiring in the brain, according again to the scientist I interviewed to really know how to read the room or the woman, the room or the woman. And I think, like working on your empathy skills and trying to put yourself in a woman's shoes, like knowing, of course, the risks that we face every day and thinking about like how can I approach someone who has to be, who you know has to put up with a barrage of like risks just walking down the street? How can I approach, like, put yourself in our situation, just spend some time doing that, and then that will tell you a lot about how to approach us.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I, I was just thinking. Think about a way to speak to us that's not going to come across as rapey.

Speaker 1:

Period. I mean that is true. It's true Because that is kind of one of the things we're always thinking when you're getting hit on out in public.

Speaker 2:

The safety factor, exactly what you just hit on. You know, I want to speak to a man or be flirted with by a man who comes across as confident but not as overpowering and cocky, or trying to make me feel as if I'm smaller or not able to show up for myself and like when I say confident, I do like men that are more confident. I don't want to say more aggressive, but I like confidence more dominant, more dominant. But there's, there are levels right.

Speaker 2:

Where you can come across as being confident and you know there's confident, and then there's this whole toxic.

Speaker 1:

I'm an alpha male bullshit. And I'm telling you, if you come off with the whole toxic, I'm an alpha male. I'm a high like what is it? What do they call themselves? High value. High value too.

Speaker 1:

I'm a high value man if so, if you're someone who uses that language about yourself, just know right away, like that, we're gonna read you in a way that's not going to be good. I'm already rolling my eyes, I know. If I hear that I value you, man, I will say this also. If you approach a woman and start talking to her, I can tell you here's something that will kill it, and men do this all too often. They will launch it. They'll decide upon first meet to launch into some sort of topic to debate with you. Have you guys had that happen? I don't know if it's just my, my personality or what?

Speaker 1:

And I'm just like, I like and I used to engage, but what I've found is like the minute like a guy will say, well, I like, I don't want to talk politics or anything right now. It's a fun night but and usually the way they bring it up is like they've got got a read on me no, that I clearly am a liberal leaning and feministy, and they're going to pitch something out to see how they can like push those boundaries. And I can feel, because I'm out having a good time, right.

Speaker 1:

Like you want to debate me in this realm. One thing Right, and my energy, I can just feel it just go and I'm like, oh my God, I'm already exhausted. You've exhausted me by bringing this up, mm, hmm, mm up, yeah, which? This is a good segue into meeting people online, because where this happens to me most often is when I connect, when I was online dating or even now, um, I'm not online dating, but I've definitely have a lot of people, men, that slip into my dms or ask to be added on, whether it's Facebook or Instagram, and I add them and the next thing I know they're like, reach it, like they clearly they typically live here in Portland or close by and they'll, so you know they'll start talking to me and I'm like, oh well, I'm open to that is on profile, he looks reasonably like, attractive in a way I like, and within a very short time it turns to, you know, because they're, of course, looking at my profile and they'll bring up something they clearly want to debate and for me, I'm instantly done.

Speaker 3:

I think that's interesting to me, because the premise of a conversation, that is a debate, is for me to repeatedly tell you you're wrong, and I don't break down with that on a first conversation Like no, thank you.

Speaker 1:

Does this happen to you guys in your online dating experience or your a?

Speaker 3:

couple times it has yeah.

Speaker 2:

I've not been, I've not had a dating profile for quite some time, um, so I can't speak to recently, but yeah, when I'm wondering, and that you said that you feel like it happens to you more online, is that because these folks, there are no visual cues, right, there is no body language. They're reading and they're literally just putting the words out there and then taking your words back, which so much is missing. I mean so like, yeah, let's just talk about online versus in person. Period.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, to talk about online versus in person, period. Yeah, it's. I mean, if you are someone who is not good with words, which is like it's with. If you are not good with the written word, like, know that about yourself and um, so move quickly away from online dialogue to in person. If you're like I know in person I'm much more enjoyable Um, then then move that direction. Do not, you will fuck up, you will say the wrong thing via text, like it's, it's inevitable, like in my opinion. Um, I think, though, I'm going to give you an example of something that I experienced.

Speaker 1:

A man asked me to add him, and I looked at his profile, and I was impressed with sort of like what I saw. Like I could see he had an interesting career, and it was in sort of the creative realm, which is I'm like, oh, we're going to have something in common, cause I'm in the creative realm. Um, was it handsome? And he asked to add me, and then I I reached out to him and I said do I know you? Because he also looked familiar to me and we had some mutuals, right, and we had never met, and he said oh no, but I see we have mutuals and you know, your profile caught my attention and it's like okay, that's nice. We had some nice conversations going on. Now, if you go to my Facebook profile, you'll see that I have my what do you call? The cover Photo says protect trans kids and I thought things were going fine.

Speaker 1:

And then he started bringing up trans folks and I could tell it was like. He's like okay, I've seen this thing and that's made this statement, and it clearly was something that he wasn't in line with on some level and he wanted to test how much I really felt that way and for me it like was instantly. It was instantly like dude, now I don't like you at all. Like. I don't like. This is something. It's clearly core to who I am. Before you asked to add me, but you led with your dick. You're like she looks good, she looks hot. Oh, I see she does the sex podcast. He probably went and listened to one and he decided to shoot his shot, even though something that I clearly fundamentally care about isn't in line with him and then he thought he could, you know, push that boundary and start a debate with me, and it was done. It was done instantly. I was like I didn't even humor it, you know.

Speaker 2:

How much time did he save you, though?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, wow. He could have saved me even more time by not even adding me or reaching out to me. You know, like if you see someone's profile and there is something in their dating profile that you are truly against don't.

Speaker 2:

That is not the time for you to try and have any sort of persuasive conversation.

Speaker 1:

If you are truly, truly, deeply conservative and you think a woman who's clearly truly, truly, deeply liberal? I mean, you tell me if you disagree with me, like you clearly only want to fuck her, right? Sure, why would you waste either of your time, right? Am I wrong?

Speaker 2:

um gosh, any number of reasons. It could be a whole conquest thing, but we know, we know when.

Speaker 1:

I know when I used to be on dating apps and, like some, you know usually what would happen. Because this was the way. I'm just going to be honest. The way that I used to do dating apps to save time is I would just look at the first picture and then it was right, it was based on attraction, like what makes my click get a little excited, and then we'd match. And then I would go and I would check out their profile and if there was anything just that was overtly not going to work, I'd immediately unmatch so that I didn't waste their time. And but oftentimes, like especially I find that men who are super conservative, like super conservative, don't necessarily fly that flag on their profile. I mean. So then you know I'd match with this dude and we'd start talking and sooner or later he's got to see where I am on that spectrum, Right, and I'm like, why did you match with me? Because I make sure when I've had profiles up that people know exactly where I stand, you know.

Speaker 2:

Well I mean, but it is just gosh. I think online too it's also gosh. It's just a numbers game, it's a numbers game.

Speaker 1:

I mean, it's so much different for women than men too, because we get like tons of inquiries, tons of inquiries. So here's a good question for this podcast. Men are very frustrated, and fairly so, because they match with women and then they've got to shoot their shot. What is a first text? No, no, and a first text? Yes. A lot of women will say they hate it when they just get a hey.

Speaker 3:

Okay, for me it's. I mean, unless you're meeting somebody on like a sex based app, like a dating app, like you don't want to come in hot with the sex questions like for me that's no, that's not. Like sex is not the foundation of like probably the relationship I'm looking for if I'm on an app, so so I would like people to keep that in mind can I add really quickly, as you're saying that like don't bring up the sex stuff until you've met until you've met and established a connection maybe yes um, and then, I think, um, immediately barrages of questions and conversation like we're strangers, like I have my own life going on, like I can't give you all of this immediate full-on energy immediately.

Speaker 3:

And plus, I think it's a secure connection. You're slowly getting to know each other. Really when you go in all very quickly immerse with each other, that's really kind of an insecure attachment. Yeah, you got to look out for that. That's like you're building an insecure attachment there. So you want to go slow, make it secure. So those are notes for me the sex and bombarding me.

Speaker 2:

Definitely give me some time to answer the question that you asked me before firing another one at me or being annoyed that I haven't gotten back to you quickly enough, because if I'm not interested, I will say thank you for your time. I don't feel like we're a match. I will say thank you for your time. I don't feel like we're a match. I know not everyone does that. Yeah, like I'm going to need some time to have to have a thoughtful response Right and get back to you in my own time of my day and I could take more than a day.

Speaker 2:

Right, right. So I'm like the talking about sex. I feel like, like I said, it's been a while since I've been on a dating app and had a profile and whatnot, but so much of it was constantly led by sex and that became a huge turnoff for me to even like I don't want to get back into that, I don't want to dip my feet back into that pool. Yeah, I would like to get to know someone and know something about their character.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, again, establishing a sense of safety, a sense of connection. Most people want those things to have sex.

Speaker 1:

Right, and I want to go back to what Carrie said earlier about curiosity, approaching people with curiosity. Now, maybe this applies for all genders, but again, we're talking to men right now approaching a woman and being genuinely curious about who she is. Okay, so you've seen the pictures and you think she's attractive, but now, like, dig into it, like, what are you curious about with her? What are what's going on in some of the pictures that you can ask her about and say, hey, I noticed you took a picture, whatever, uh, at this location, um, does it have special significance for you? Or I've never been there, you know, what did you think you know? Just like be curious about or do you travel often?

Speaker 1:

I notice you have a lot of photos of traveling up. Is that something you're passionate about? Just be curious about who she is as a person, because I think men are the same as women. Yes, we do see people, and that's our first like, oh, they're a tribe. They just caught my attention. I just got a little excited. My nipples got hard when I saw so-and-so, but I believe for most all of us that, like you know, I always say a first conversation can be a clit shriveler, right.

Speaker 1:

Like suddenly I'm like. At first I'm like ooh, he's, he's cute and he messaged me and he seems interesting, he's got this great career or he's passionate about this. And then we sit down to talk and you're like they're talking all about themselves Cutting me off. All about themselves, yeah.

Speaker 2:

No questions, like not asking any questions about me or my interests, or just listing off their accolades and reasons why you should want to date them.

Speaker 1:

That's thirsty, Like if you're trying to prove yourself. I think that's the thing about confidence. That's sexy is like someone who's truly confident isn't, um, isn't going to try and like sell themselves. You don't have to sell yourself Like. I don't ever feel that need, Like I know, I like know my worth in a situation, and I also know that there are people that aren't ready for me, aren't ready and will never be ready for me. It's like I'm not going to be their thing. So yeah, right off the bat, if you're saying too many braggy things about yourself, I promised you, I promised you almost every woman will run away. I mean, I hear this complaint all the time in your first couple of messages to a woman do not sit and talk about how fucking amazing you are. I mean and like not even, not even in a roundabout way, as though we don't understand what you're saying. You know what I mean Sometimes.

Speaker 1:

I dive well, you know I used to do like five, 10 marathons a year. But you know, since then I've moved on to racing cars and I am really fast and, like my friends are always just like wowed about like how I was in natural at racing cars. But I'm a quick learner and I put that into everything I do and people are always saying how amazing it like you guys know, you've had this guy the person who keeps getting their elevator pitch on repeat. Oh, I just got.

Speaker 3:

I gave myself an ick um, have we had the day with the people who tend to talk a lot about bitcoin and cryptocurrency? Have we had those days? Have we all had those days now?

Speaker 1:

I'm so fortunate, no okay, you guys, in my last relationship I I was already in the relationship and then suddenly that part snuck out. Yeah, suddenly it was all about bitcoin and crypto and I was like, oh, this is. It was a little, that was one of the red flags. But then you know you're already in the relationship, so you're making excuses for it, when maybe I just don't know what you you know. Oh yeah, and then the whole crypto bro thing like blew up and I'm like, oh my God, am I in a relationship with a crypto bro?

Speaker 3:

I can appreciate when somebody is excited about something, but when you talk for like an entire hour about it and don't ask somebody else, about themselves. It's just, it's a little much.

Speaker 1:

Maybe it's also the obsession with money with a crypto thing. Maybe I mean obsession with money with the crypto thing.

Speaker 2:

Maybe, I mean, I like money, but yeah, I've definitely not run into the crypto bro or that kind of thing, but the constant, I've done this and I've done this and my friends say that I'm so good at this, and that's.

Speaker 1:

That happens all the time.

Speaker 2:

That gets tiring quickly like amazing for you.

Speaker 1:

I am so glad for you or the trauma dumping about your last relationship and what a bitch your ex-wife is and how she's made your life miserable.

Speaker 2:

How can all of them have been the most terrible people on the planet?

Speaker 3:

And this is all assuming the flirting went well and we're engaging in a conversation.

Speaker 1:

We don't conversation. Look, let's be fair, like oftentimes this is the lead, like in your, in your online dating messaging, they, you know, because I'll. If I am like, oh, you're cute and hey, sometimes I've been even my first message has been from a guy, hey, and I'm like, fair enough, you're gonna see if I even respond, because, also, who are you a bot? Am I? Are you a bot?

Speaker 3:

do not ask me if.

Speaker 1:

I'm a bot, like if you can't tell whatever, uh, but I'm like I get they want to know if you're even going to respond. They don't want to craft, to spend like a half hour wrapping their mind around a good intro text, only to get silence, which I understand happens a lot. So you want to touch and see if she comes back with oh yeah, I'm going to engage with you. And then I will ask about like oh, how did you end up here? You know I love to like hey, what brought you to the apps? And then it's like well, I was married for 25 years and she was just like whatever and goes into that. And if that is what you do, I'm done because I'm like I bet your ex-wife will be my bestie. I'm like I'm not going to assume like I'm a girl's girl, and that's becoming more common. Guys, something you have to be aware of is women are actually showing up for each other more and more, and if we hear you talking shit about other women, it's like right, I no longer immediately go.

Speaker 2:

Oh god, she sounds terrible. How can I not be that I immediately go to? I'm hearing one side of the story. And literally all of your ex-wives couldn't have been crazy.

Speaker 3:

Statistically speaking, yeah, improbable.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and I think I heard someone say this the other day and I think it really struck a chord with, I think, what more and more women are doing. The saying is one man's trash is another man's treasure and then they're like but one woman's trash is every woman's trash, like. We're all like. You didn't want it.

Speaker 2:

We don't want it.

Speaker 1:

You know, like, if your ex-wife, like, battled so hard to get out of a relationship with you, I think I don't want what she, what she, three like I don't know. I feel like we're more wary now, and we're wary because we've had so many repeat experiences and we've, you know, also gotten out of relationships with men who treated us poorly and then shit talked us and we're like, oh, if you're talking about, you know, I've had someone do that to me, I know what what this is about. So I'm just saying, when it comes to hitting on women, talking poorly about your ex is not part of that, and that happens in so many first conversations, so many.

Speaker 2:

I don't want our conversation even to be about your ex or you know. Like totally good to acknowledge past relationships, marriages, what have you? I'm not the type that's going to come out and say what happened, what went wrong, like why did this fail. But it's very telling if someone immediately launches into you know it was this she was crazy. Well, right, like they, maybe they need some time to work on some healing.

Speaker 3:

First Talk to somebody, yes.

Speaker 2:

Because a lot of people just people get right into relationships way before they're healed from the previous relationship. I'd rather not be a distraction for someone while they're trying to figure out their shit the best way to hit on a woman and flirt with her is to heal yourself step one, step one, step one before you approach her, if you are in a post breakup, post divorce, a post-breakup, post-divorce newly single place, or a not even divorced place.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, if, then maybe it's not time to date. And I think and I, you know, I recently did a podcast episode on um, dating and sex after the traumatic end of a relationship, talking about my own journey and um, and I think it really did strike, strike me how a measure oftentimes of readiness and healedness for people is like, oh, am I ready to date again? But I don't actually think that's the sign of being healed. Uh, the sign is when you're not asking yourself, you're just being in, you're just being, you're enjoying your life Again, you're engaging in your life.

Speaker 1:

And but I do think, especially on apps, like people, that they're just newly separated. They get on the apps and they start seeking someone to date because they want to try something new, because they're out of, like a longterm relationship. They want to try something new. Yes, and I think what happens and that's another reason why I will not go back to updating because I think most of the people on the apps are aren't healed. I think most of them are on the apps aren't healed. I think most of them are right out of relationships or they didn't do the work they needed to do to be ready to date. So they're like fishing for people and fishing, and fishing, and fishing and trying to find Dating apps are a fantastic distraction from doing your own work.

Speaker 2:

I found I mean it's yeah, it's way easier to just oh, this person looks interesting, oh, they're interested in me. Then what do I need to do? Work on heal about myself so that I can show up better for me in my next relationship.

Speaker 1:

So maybe dating apps just are not a good way.

Speaker 1:

I guess we're not being helpful about how to hit on someone online. Well, because there are different ways that people are doing the online hitting right. Again, people, I think, are using social media to reach out to people they're interested in. I don't think that there's a problem with that. Like I've definitely have more recently, have had some people that I've met through social media and um have slowly been building really cool connections with them, and what has been successful for me and started to pique my interest is that it was more of like their curiosity about what I'm doing. Um, you know, yeah, they're curious. They saw my content, they saw my pictures and they were kind of like hey, not only are you cute, you know you create this cool content. And that's how they that you know approached me.

Speaker 1:

And I'll say there is one person I think I've told you guys about my my little hat, right, I showed you. I think I showed you I have a little. I got a little crush on a little someone I met on a certain app and we get to chat a little bit, but he didn't actually ever comment on my aesthetic, my looks, from the beginning. He just kind of started sending me kind of funny, funny little like TikToks or reels or messages or you know, hearting things I posted and then like asking me curious questions about like what I had posted, but always from like a very like positive way, Never like oh, I see you posted on this.

Speaker 1:

Now I want to debate you. It's like oh, you posted this thing and you guys know what my content is about. And he's like and I'm just realizing how much I have to learn, Wow, Sexy.

Speaker 2:

Okay, that would be a win right. Like when you what, what first messaging things or what have you, you know that would get secure a date.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, I guess that was a thing that is. The thing that has made him interesting to me is just he's created a friendship Like I would, I would say, and we've all you know we live in different areas, but I didn't start with show me your titties or I, he would never I. That would shock me. In fact, I've had to reel myself back from being like hey, are you?

Speaker 2:

why aren't you asking me?

Speaker 1:

I want him to take his shirt off. So bad. You guys know who I'm talking about.

Speaker 2:

And he's like I don't know that he ever would.

Speaker 1:

And one time he had made some video and I almost I almost like made a. Well, maybe that's not for everyone.

Speaker 2:

That's not for public consumption, it's not for everyone, only the special ones.

Speaker 1:

Oh God, I haven't seen his shirt.

Speaker 2:

I'll have to see if you get a dm oh, I do look at his biceps, though.

Speaker 1:

He shows his biceps big, big, beautiful anyways. Uh yeah, but I mean the whole point is and it's very rare for me that men approach me virtually and like that, I end up genuinely enjoying the banter for more than like usually I get at most a week into conversing and then something just like well, it's like, oh, come on, man, so but I think that it's I love. I'm gonna keep going back to the curiosity I think that's gonna be curious.

Speaker 1:

Um, don't be combative. Men want to debate women all the time. Don't be combative. Don't go like look, you see a woman and you're just like god, my dick just got hard. I want to compliment her, tell your dick to calm down. Think of a compliment that goes deeper, and I know that it's hard, I know, because I like look, I got a high libido and I see people sometimes and I'm like and I want to say take your shirt off. But I yeah, usually, don't Usually.

Speaker 2:

I don't want to. When you're talking about the debating, I don't want to feel like it's a power struggle and going back to the safety thing like I want to feel like I can be myself and say the things that are important to me without someone jamming their opinion that might be very different down my throat, um yeah, yeah, that's not sexy when you get into that combative where somebody um is basically saying there's something about your beliefs like you just met or wrong or bad, or yeah, that doesn't make me feel safe.

Speaker 3:

So no, thank you. Or sexy, safe, sexy, none of it.

Speaker 1:

I want to get little butterflies You're not creating a connection by doing that. So flirting and first is all about creating a connection? Say is that so flirting and first it's all about creating a connection?

Speaker 3:

Say something, connection through curiosity.

Speaker 1:

Okay, there we go. I'm loving that.

Speaker 3:

That is a very good catchphrase, Thanks.

Speaker 1:

I just came up with it. We got to copyright that one, any other things we want to share. I want to make sure let's wrap this up and give tangible takeaways, because this has been a very fluid conversation and we've not only talked about, like, approaching someone, but we've also talked about that and all of the things we're talking about are these very first conversations what we like, what we don't like, what works for us. So, in person, if we are sitting with our friends and engaged, don't expect us to abandon our friends and attend to you just because you say something nice to us or you send a drink to the table. Um, give us space to like, acknowledge it, find time, because girls don don't when we go out with our girlfriends, right, like I don't abandon my girls to go chase dick like we just don't.

Speaker 1:

We don't do that and I know that maybe men are. Men have very different in their, in that when they're in herds, or groups like you guys work very differently than we do.

Speaker 1:

But what we said, approaching when we're buying a drink is good. When we're in the line for the bathroom, oh, oh, oh, oh oh At the grocery store I'm short, I'm really short. Just wait until I am. Seriously, you want to turn me on? Do not make me scale the shelves to get something at the top. I've definitely that has been like a good. I've had guys do that where they offer.

Speaker 2:

Well, you get to feel like you're taken care of, a little bit Like someone's seeing you without you being like, oh God, I have had to ask for help. So I can see why that would feel really good.

Speaker 1:

But I also want to say I use that to pick up on men too. I'll be like could you help me it?

Speaker 3:

works. They love that exchanges is exchanging that balloon. If you've given the balloon away, you can't grab it back out of their hands and continue something where it's not being reciprocated. Maybe you might give it another shot, but after that, if the balloon isn't being returned to you, the energy isn't being returned right if it's a message.

Speaker 1:

If you send the drink and she never comes back around to talk to you, then let it die. Let it die and don it die and don't you know what. Don't take it personally. Don't take it personally, it's not about you. She could have a husband. She could just like be in a place where she's like I don't have space to date, or, you know, she could be healing.

Speaker 3:

Yes, it's the universe pointing you in a different direction, because that wasn't the right connection.

Speaker 1:

Some things to look for that indicate that a woman wants you to approach her. We will turn, we will lock eyes with you, we'll smile. Two, three, four, and you know, yeah, science. We want you to stop talking to us and let us alone. We're turning away, we're turning away.

Speaker 3:

Thank you, we're not asking any follow-up questions. It's very yes, no answers. Thank you.

Speaker 2:

Even if I had briefly thought about wanting to say yes to someone when they gave me a terrible pickup line or whatever. As soon as that offense is taken and then it's made known that they're pissed off, oh now you don't have a chance with me, or pretty much anyone that I can tell about you.

Speaker 1:

What do you think about someone giving you a business card or their number?

Speaker 2:

I'm probably not going to call them Personally, like I'm not, that's just, that's the person that I am. I want there to be an exchange and conversation, like don't just give me your business card. There still has to be an exchange and a conversation of some sort. If you just give me your number, like passing me a note in class, what if no, thanks, hear me out here.

Speaker 1:

What if you're sitting with people, you're wherever, maybe you're at a concert, maybe whatever um and a man sees you and wants to approach you, but he also sees you're with friends and he comes up and he says hey, I noticed you, um, from over there and I'm curious about you. I see you're with your friends right now totally don't want to interrupt you here's my number if we get a chance to talk later on tonight.

Speaker 1:

I totally I love that idea, know you if you don't have time, though, I'd love for you to have my number and if you're curious, to call me later or text me, text me text.

Speaker 2:

We are going to call. I love that because that starts with the curiosity and the conversation but then also puts the ball in my court to decide whether I want to continue that energetic exchange now or later.

Speaker 1:

You know, the line that will always work on me and I'm ashamed to admit it is that it's the whole like oh, I saw you from over there and I would kick myself if I didn't take a chance, so I just want to give you my number. I see you're busy.

Speaker 2:

Just putting it out there I will not forget you.

Speaker 1:

I'm a sucker for that, I know.

Speaker 3:

You don't like it? No, I actually do. I'm making that face Cause I'm like, yeah, that's me.

Speaker 1:

I have something about just knowing that, that because I feel like that about people, like I have people I pass by and I'm like, for some reason, you caught my attention and it sucks. Oh, I still have a guy who came out of a grocery store at the beginning of this year that I'm kicking myself or not just being like, oh, whatever, I walked behind him for like we were both going. No, I wasn't stalking him, we were both going to our cars and thought and thought and tried to think of something to say I couldn't.

Speaker 1:

He was so beautiful and he looked like he was having a bad day. I should have just I don't know, I still. And then I found out he was parked right next to me. Still couldn't figure it out yeah, never. And then I found out he was parked right next to me. Still couldn't figure it out, yeah, never. See that beautiful, beautiful man again.

Speaker 2:

I like the acknowledgement of the vulnerability.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right, like I know I'm putting myself out there. You might not be into this, but I'm doing it anyway and I get it if you're not.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, there is a hint of vulnerability, and I'm into it.

Speaker 1:

You guys. We just gave it to you Like all three of us are on board, so that that's for the win. Really quick, we're going to wrap this up with a really quick no. No, no. Elevator speeches are bragging about yourself to like don't sell. We're not looking for you to sell, no.

Speaker 2:

Hey, are you DTF?

Speaker 1:

I actually had that happen to this this year on Facebook.

Speaker 2:

A guy like that's why it became funny he was like 50 some odd years old.

Speaker 1:

I'm like, did you? And I literally was like, did you just ask me if I'm DTF?

Speaker 2:

Go back and watch your episodes of Jersey Shore. No, thank you yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's crazy to me. No, no, are you DTF Not?

Speaker 2:

with you. If I was, I'm not now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, what else? Big hard nose Don't scare us. We look scared talking about the exes. Yeah, don't Big hard nose.

Speaker 2:

Don't scare us. We look scared. You're talking about the exes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, don't trash talk other women, don't trash talk women. I'm telling you the rise of the girls girl is here, it is here. And if you're shit talking other women, we know, we know you'll shit talk us. And every time I have dated a man who has like made it, you know his ex sound like the nightmare. I've ended up kicking myself later and wanting to apologize to the ex and be like I'm so fucking sorry.

Speaker 2:

I have before yeah.

Speaker 1:

Have you yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, I only knew one side of the story. I didn't know, I didn't know that we married the same man.

Speaker 3:

Plot twist.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I feel anything, Carrie, what are your? Let's give them, give them the final takeaways.

Speaker 3:

Okay, the with the nose. It was just suddenly like the barrage coming at me, Like let's, let's pace this out and we're strangers to each other. You know, we're feeling each other out. Don't have time to like stop my life for this stranger that I'm just getting to know. So that's at least no for me.

Speaker 1:

Don't rely on your good looks.

Speaker 2:

You got to have something else we want depth Women today?

Speaker 1:

do we want depth and connection and chemistry, charisma? If you don't have charisma, that's something to try and wear and some people just aren't charismatic and it sucks. It sucks for.

Speaker 2:

Charisma can make a three a seven.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes even a 10.

Speaker 3:

Oddly enough you can compensate for that with curiosity, though.

Speaker 1:

Another c and again the curiosity yeah, everybody wants, I don't know I, we want people who are curious about us and want to get a get to know us and like dig deep and go deep, deep I.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I guess that's one of the things that I really have discovered in my healing era, like, I love deep, meaningful relationships, you know, and that's where the sex gets really good too, man, when, when someone really wants to know your fucking soul, you know, I crave that Everything else is a dime, a dozen. It's hard to find someone who you can like, connect with, like that and really really vibe. So, and I know you're out there going, hey, but we just want to get laid. Well, then you better bring a fucking great game to the flirting table Right, be witty, but always be honest. You can like some, you know. Know, there are plenty of women who, you know, just want to get laid too. Yeah, some, but we want to get laid by somebody who are going to feel good about having gotten laid by later we want to be laid by high value men the high value men.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, but seriously shout out to the men because I know it's harder for them and you know what they do have to shoot their shot and get rejected a lot, a lot. So we see you and we appreciate your efforts and again, just don't take it personally can be challenging for you.

Speaker 1:

You are, you're also dealing with your peers ruining it for you and they have, and so, like I would suggest calling in the men around you and saying, hey, let's like treat women better so that dating can be easier, like a, because we're humans and we deserve to be treated well. But also, shitty men make it bad for good guys. Right, we want to be hit on, we want to flirt. Women love flirting. We love flirting and feeling sexy and having fun.

Speaker 2:

Well, and then beyond that, like when we go out more or if things do get physical, like don't ever stop the flirting With us yeah, right, With us.

Speaker 1:

And there's the catch. Right, there's the catch right.

Speaker 2:

I think through the lifespan of our relationships we're going to want to flirt and be flirted with.

Speaker 1:

By our partner by our partners. It sucks when that goes away. Yeah, it really does. It should never go away. When that goes away yeah, it really does, it should never go away. Anyways, I'm sure I'll have some expert to help us figure out how to keep you flirting with your partner instead of the woman behind her back the other woman behind her back.

Speaker 1:

Just saying this happened, I think to all of us right At some point in time, or two or three. I think that we've given you, that you've gotten some great lines from us to use, that you even know work on three very different women at this table. We're all very different. We like different things, sexually speaking, personally speaking, relationship speaking. So we've given you some good one liners when and where to use them, how to navigate online dating. Oh God, don't do it. Can we all just go back out in the wild?

Speaker 3:

Oh my goodness In the wild, yeah.

Speaker 2:

But no, I think we gave some good like basics. That sounds like having to put on pants and leave the house a lot it does.

Speaker 1:

I don't want to do that, all right, all right, so do that, all right all right so if you have questions or comments, if you have questions or comments for me, for andy, for carrie, you know what to do you can reach out to me at annette at talk sex with annettecom um and email mail me.

Speaker 1:

you can scroll down to the speak pipe below. I know you guys are gonna have a lot to say about this. I feel confident you are head over to my YouTube channel at talk sex with an it and drop comments below. We'll address them, we'll come back. We'll. We will come back and we will address various specific questions, just for you. Yeah, get curious with us, yeah.

Speaker 2:

That'd be fun.

Speaker 1:

It'd be fun. Yeah, all right. So until next time I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers, cheers.

Speaker 3:

Ring loop.