Locker Room Talk & Shots Podcast
Locker Room Talk & Shots Podcast
5 Painful Mistakes Men Make During Sex That Need to Stop! (Women Weigh In)
Today my two close girlfriends join me for a frank conversation about common bedroom moves men make that aren't just bad, they're downright painful. We tell you what they are, how to identify when a woman isn't enjoying what you are doing, and what to do instead! We are also asking men to weigh in with some of the most common things women do in bed that they wish they would stop! Comment below or send me a message!
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do the sex.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Masturbation Monday with me, Annette Benedetti, your host for Locker Room Talk and Chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Today's Masturbation Monday topic is the top five things men are fucking up during sex with women. Today is a special masturbation Monday. Obviously, it's not morning.
Speaker 2:I'm not doing it for my bed, but I have my two very dear, close, sexy friends with me, and one of the things that I wanted to talk about this Monday to help men out with is just, are some things you guys are doing in bed that are really ruining sex for most all of us that we need to give you a clear explanation about. And so how this came to fruition and inviting my friends to do my masturbation Monday with me was we were having a conversation about it last night and and it was like unanimously we were like, oh, this needs to stop, Not only because it I don't, it can't get us off, it also some of these things hurt. It hurt. So we're going to dive in and we are all in agreement on the things that we're going to dive in. Uh, and we are all in agreement on the things that we're going to talk about. There is not one of them, but one of us is like, oh, I kind of like that. So, um, hey, I'm here with Andy and Carrie.
Speaker 2:If you have been watching my two girls sharing toys, sex toy reviews, you will recognize both of them. They are my um partners in sex toy reviews that we have sex toys We've been sharing and trying out, and we are also partners in trying to help you have better sex with us. Right, All right, Absolutely All right. So let's dive in. Let's talk about five, at least five of the top things that men are doing during sex that are killing it for us.
Speaker 3:All right Cheers Diving right into the P and the V. Like not giving me any time to warm up.
Speaker 1:Yes, just shoving it in. That is probably my number one.
Speaker 3:That is the word Like don't.
Speaker 2:Don't just try to shove it in. No, how many of you have had a guy just try to shove his, his dick in your dry vagina Like it's not even and I mean it how and how often?
Speaker 3:it's happened a lot in my life I have no warm-up, no, no foreplay no, no, nothing like we're just starting to kiss and get a little bit sexy and then, before you know it, like the dick's out and like they're trying to go for it, trying to stick it right in.
Speaker 2:You don't stick it right in now. Maybe there are some women that you a quickies happen where they you know, in the movies. I think the problem is that's what they show in the movie, like the people are making out and then, like you know, he lifts the girl's skirt and apparently she doesn't have any panties on her. They don't even explain that part and then they're just like fucking and of course they always show her coming and it's just not a real. It's not real.
Speaker 3:That's not real.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've never once had that experience and enjoyed it.
Speaker 1:I think if you want results, you got to participate and invest in the warmup.
Speaker 2:The warmup is important and I have a lot of videos on foreplay, so don't just shove your dick in a vagina that has not been prepped Meaning you know, touched, tickled, kissed, licked, all of that stuff and always bring lube, love lube, love lube, love lube, love lube. The dry vagina is not a place to shove a dick.
Speaker 3:Yeah, mm-mm. No, really no dry places, no.
Speaker 2:No, no dry places or a place to shove a dick.
Speaker 3:No, I mean, that's a good point like speaking of like that, yeah, yeah, after smoking pot I don't want, right. Oh no, no, I need right, I need those drooling mints, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, we need, we need. Oh, that's so funny, it's so fucking true also.
Speaker 3:But that's like. That's really where I was going was, yeah, but then I was like that's gotta be pretty good and lubey yeah, you the butt, and your spit is not enough for the butt.
Speaker 2:Oh, your spit's really not enough for anything, nothing, oh. But I also. That brings me to don't spit on my vagina. I mean, don't spit on my fucking vagina, man, and like maybe some people like that but ask Consent, oh God, that is not. Do not. Oh, I've I've had someone just and like and I thought I was going to fucking die. It makes me, I know, it makes me me gag, I've got to be pretty pretty comfortable with you for that to happen and for me to enjoy it.
Speaker 3:But yeah, if it's totally catching me off guard like I had to spit on my ass.
Speaker 2:No, all right so, but I want to get to my, the one I really wanted. That inspired this conversation because it is because it is so common, and I think this, if you stay tuned, tomorrow you will we are going to join you again for our locker room talking shots topic, and one of the themes that comes up is really men needing to think about the woman's experience, and so here is one of my number one things that a lot of men do, and I think you think it's like a power move and like a sexy move, but it's so problematic when I'm on my back and you take my legs and you try to fold me in half, and you take my straight legs and you fold them.
Speaker 1:Here guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going to give the best, are you?
Speaker 1:I'm with one leg. Here guys, push it up, Push it up, just like this, but both of them, but then you keep pushing.
Speaker 2:Let me do it While you're pounding me all right, I think you get the point. Both of my legs now they're almost in my face and you're having sex with me, and then you put your weight on them and you seem to think this can happen for 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes. Oh, 10, 15, 20 minutes.
Speaker 3:Oh, they're not lasting for 20 minutes. Annette, Come on.
Speaker 2:All right, but you know what I'm saying? Like it goes on and on, it feels like it's three hours. So a couple of things I want you guys to think of First of all.
Speaker 2:I know you're not as flexible as I am, but yet you still don't even for a moment think about how uncomfortable that is. Second of all, where do you think the food in my stomach if I've eaten that day, or the coffee goes when you're folding me in half like that? Like where do you think my insides go when you're doing that, like it's so uncomfortable? And stop fucking doing it. I am not a piece of paper, not origami, not origami. That's what we've been saying.
Speaker 1:Don't treat me like origami especially if we haven't negotiated it or talked about it. If you don't know whether I do yoga, what my skill level is, no one ever asked me.
Speaker 2:No one has asked me. Do you have lower back problems?
Speaker 3:Right, I've had, you know. I've had a spinal fracture, I've had pelvic fractures. Those would all be things that are good to talk about before folding me into a compromising position. That's going to hurt me and then I might not be able to get out of afterward without significant pain.
Speaker 2:Right and, if you like, think about. And the other thing is putting so much weight on a woman. Like you know, if you're like 200, even 180, 200, over 200 pounds, and you're putting your weight on someone who's like a buck 15, a buck 20, like whatever buck 15, a buck 20, like whatever, Like that's a lot of weight when I'm folded in half and it's just such a common thing.
Speaker 3:It's such a common thing like the both legs up and then really pushing them forward, Like I'd be really interested to hear why that happens in general, right, why they like to fold us up so much. Why do?
Speaker 2:you want to fold us up so much?
Speaker 1:I tend to think it's like you know, people see it in porn and it's like a trick they want to try out or they think that's normal, like it's been normalized through porn and you got to understand those are like actors who have practiced and probably do this often prepare for it and also have a medic on set.
Speaker 2:Right, I've definitely felt like I needed a medic afterwards and I'm like I cannot come.
Speaker 3:Oh, I've definitely had medics fold me up like that.
Speaker 2:So that's a big one. We don't like that either, and you got to stop doing that.
Speaker 3:And it's not that we can't have our legs up, but to have a conversation and then think to yourself, okay how do I check in with someone Right and see what their comfort level is when we're in that moment Right, Like how can I tell that maybe you're, maybe your knees are a little far back and I should?
Speaker 2:Right, I tell that maybe your knees are a little far back and I should stop. I mean, my thing is like, just assume, after a couple of seconds, 15, 20 seconds that I need my stomach to not be folded in half. Yes, like even in yoga, when you do your folding forward bend, they don't have us do that for you know, five minutes Like and, and it's not even your and, most of the time, somebody's not fucking yet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and putting weight on you, that would be dangerous. It's dangerous, so stop doing that. Uh, that was my big one. I wanted to share because it's happened so much in my life and and it hurts, you know. Yeah, so that's all right. What's the next one?
Speaker 3:I had one that was similar but different. Um, like when, on all fours, doggy, yes, and then the like my partner would push my head and shoulders down.
Speaker 2:We're going to try and demonstrate again. If you are listening, you need to go to my YouTube channel at talk sex with Annette and I'm going to talk you through what's happening here, but you can see her shabby attempt at a visual right Our best attempt.
Speaker 3:You're simulating being on all fours, okay, so Andy, is kind of on all fours, obviously standing up, but her knees would be bent so if my, if my chest then is pushed down, and then male partner were to I don't I don't even know how to describe it like take and push my butt up further.
Speaker 3:So uh, yeah, so her butt's high, her head's low and then like really pressing on my butt and just really going yeah, it's like it folds my back in half in a way that it never was intended to move, right you you guys like to stick our head down and then have our asses up, but then you press down on that sacrum area.
Speaker 2:I want to add into that the pressing on the sacrum area. Now the sacrum, from those of you. For those of you who don't know, andy, will you stand up and turn around? I'll show them what the sacrum is. I will my listeners.
Speaker 2:The sacrum is the. It's like this little triangle, uh bone that's right at the top of your ass crack and kind of at the what lower back area. I'm touching it on her on the video, uh. But I have had well, I'm in doggy Partners literally put their hand right there and their whole weight. I don't know what it, why you're doing that. I don't know what it does for you, but I have actually had a couple of times where I've cried out in pain and fear that they were actually throwing that part of me out, because it can it? The sacrum actually does. When you're, when you're pregnant, it like gets very mobile so your hips can expand, um, and it actually does move and can really fuck you up, and I'm not sure what that is Like. Why are you guys don't like you cannot put your full weight on one section of a woman's body, or even her whole body, and for the most part, you're most likely bigger than us. Right, yeah, don't fold us up.
Speaker 1:I'll add on to again, if you're like on off. I know men love like the arched back. They love to see it like you and you're like shoulders down on the bed and your backside is up in the air and they love to see an arched back. So just, and I've seen it all the time that, like online, people kind of point and laugh at women with arched backs. You know, like you know, that's not sexy. But usually if a woman is kind of arching her back like outward instead of, like you know, doing kind of the sexy butt, up Tucking, so doing the cat.
Speaker 1:If we're doing the cat, more the cat pose. If we're kind of like tucking, it's because something doesn't quite feel good, or right, let me clarify for our listeners.
Speaker 2:So you guys like to see a nice arched back where the butt's sticking up and the belly is dropped. But what happens is, sometimes you'll see us do the opposite, which is would be the cat pose or tucking the tail. The sad puppy I like it to call it the sad puppy pose. We're tucking our tail and basically I think to end it.
Speaker 1:It is a sign when we do that, it's like yeah, yeah, I'm kind of it's because I'm almost moving my body a little bit away from it and maybe I haven't even registered that it's like not quite pleasurable for me yet, but it's just, I'm already reacting right and oftentimes for me, when I start doing that tuck, it is too um, it's because it's too deep and they're pounding my fucking cervix, which is a big no, no, that is.
Speaker 2:It feels awful. Oh god, so that if we start looking like a sad puppy in front of you and we're not doing the sexy arch, you're doing something wrong, you're hurting us again, read our body cues. And, yes, we, we also need to get better at saying fucking stop. But it all you know that puts us constantly in the position of, like, correcting you which you don't want to hear. It it kill, it can really kill the moon. Yes, we, we do need to say something, but sometimes it's like, can you also be paying attention to us? Enough it. I guess what all this comes down to is you're not paying attention to us and we can tell by the way that you are putting us in overtly difficult positions. And then, not reading our body cues, you know, as we're desperately trying to get you to back off without having to say back, the fuck off, like we don't want to have to say that in the middle of sex.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:We will, will, but then when we do that, then you feel deflated and embarrassed and you know, right, that's the kind of thing that I've run up against when I feel like I am verbalizing hey, this is uncomfortable, oh well, I just, I just don't ever do.
Speaker 3:I don't ever do this right. I'm doing this wrong, oh don't do that.
Speaker 1:We're just. We're both trying to have a good time. We're both trying to navigate and you can't read my mind. I'm letting you know what's on my mind. This is what feels good.
Speaker 2:This is what doesn't. You can't read my mind. I get that, but you really great if you pay attention to the physical cues, so that I don't have to use my words, and then you don't have to feel like embarrassed and it's not that you should feel embarrassed, sometimes we just don't know. But I would love for men to like just be more aware of our, our physical cues, right, and then the last one we talked about that we want to cover is the rabbit and just going deep and hard, really fast, and thinking that once we do invite the penis into our body.
Speaker 1:That's what we're ready for right now, like you're going for jackhammering, that's oh, yeah, yeah, I mean, there is a place I think we talked about like once you are sufficiently worked up and you might ask for it, but going right for that, or if that's your signature move then it shouldn't be. You need to expand your skills.
Speaker 2:Andy and I were talking about someone who has that as his signature move and it's such a turnoff, your move and it's such a turnoff. But yeah, like, on that note, when you first enter a vagina, the G spot is actually quite close to the opening and it feels so good to just have, like the tip come in and like have a little movements in that area as we get lubed up and then just slowly work your way into deeper. And what we all mentioned is there will come a time, if you've done that right, that we will say and I know I do that I'll be like fuck me, and that's when I want the depth, and that's when I want. Then I'm like let's, you know, let's go, let's go. I'm there, my G spots lit up, but let us invite you to do that.
Speaker 1:Again, I think it's just something that's pervasive and learned through porn and and you know those things. I mean they're not based in reality. So just please be mindful of your partner and always get consent.
Speaker 3:Faster and harder is not always better. No, it's not. Hard is good. But, faster and harder is not always better and deeper isn't always better, like that's.
Speaker 2:The other thing, too is, even once you've gone deep, like back off a little bit, bring that tip back out to like the shallows Hang out in the shallow and give a little, tiny little, oh, I like, I like tiny little thrusts out in the shallow area and then maybe a long stroke or two, god, build it up, bring it back. Right, build it up, bring it back. Any last thoughts on things that you just got to.
Speaker 1:I'll say, if it's like a trick you wanted to, you saw in porn and you want to try out again, like let's, it's like a trick you saw in porn and you want to try out again, we got to talk through that. Let's talk through it, let's make sure everybody's into it and it's what everybody wants.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you've seen it in porn and you think it might, yeah, I love that. And a final note, and I'm going to go back. I guess a lot of these things happen. During Doggy, we did bring up the spit stuff and stuff like that also, but don't slip your thumb in my ass when you're behind me without asking. I like to prepare back there for adventures, adventures. Please just don't. Don't just thumb my ass or finger my ass especially dry it's never.
Speaker 2:It's not that it can't be good. Sometimes it's like really but dry, make no.
Speaker 2:No, not dry, no, it just means that sometimes the finger in the ass while you're getting it from behind is hot, but we need to be ready for it and you can ask, like, ask me, let me say yes or no to it. I think we just covered some. Really, you guys, if you listen to this, this masturbation Monday and all of these things, you be honest with yourself. Be honest with yourself about whether or not you do them or not, and then you correct according to our advice. I swear to God, it's like gonna up your sex game tenfold right.
Speaker 3:I mean, I would definitely prefer to have sex with someone who doesn't do those things, someone who does all those things on a regular basis.
Speaker 1:So yeah.
Speaker 2:I will say yes, don't do those things. And then on a very, I think, a theme. A theme is just like try to put yourself in our bodies and I know, I know it's hard because you don't have, you know, vaginas. You do have buttholes, though, so maybe that's one good way to kind of think about it. But put yourself in our bodies and think to yourself how would this feel if this was happening to me?
Speaker 1:Do under my butthole as you would have done unto yours I love that.
Speaker 2:I love that. Do unto my butthole as I wait as you would have done something do you want to do?
Speaker 3:other buttholes, as you would have done to your yours, they would have yes, treat my asshole like you want yours treated.
Speaker 2:Otherwise, you may never know, I may just shove my thumb right back up yours without asking. How would you feel about that?
Speaker 2:with that jagged fingernail my thumbs are smaller though. Um, all right, I think we covered it right. Happy masturbation monday. This is one to really kick off the week and, uh, if you take this information and use it, I swear to God your sex this week is going to be great. She might even want to have sex with you more.
Speaker 2:All right, questions, comments. Ladies out there listening. Do you have anything you want to add? In Men listening do you have questions about these signature moves that I know you have been shown and told are good moves, and now we're telling you? Let us know. We are happy to come back and clarify, answer questions. You know how to get a hold of me. You can email me at Annette, at talk sex with Annettecom. You can drop a comment If you are on my YouTube channel, which is at talk sex with Annette. Uh, drop a little comment below, and you can also scroll down and leave a voicemail on my speak pipe. We will come back and answer whatever questions you send us. We will all help you out. Yeah, we will, because we want you to be better in bed.
Speaker 1:We want people to enjoy better sex.
Speaker 2:We want people to enjoy better sex. Yeah, do you have things that women do in bed that you don't like? No, I'm intrigued. Right, we're all fallible, right? Do you have things that?
Speaker 3:women do in bed that you don't like. Ooh, no, I'm intrigued. I'm right, I mean we're all fallible, right, but I, I am curious, hey so here's the thing I'm going to throw that I've not done this before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want you guys to send us the things that women do in bed that you like the least or you would like us to do differently, like we want to know, and I will come back and I will get Carrie and Andy to come over and I will read them off and we will discuss them and we will get the information out there for you. So do that. Please Email us or drop them in the comments below. I will put them all together and it'll be and interesting.
Speaker 1:We'll discuss yeah, yeah, I'm into it yeah, all right.
Speaker 2:So until next time, folks.