7 Types of Sex Women REALLY, Really Want to Have (Sexpert-Backed Facts)

What kind of sex do women really want to be having? Today, I'm sharing 7 research-backed ways women fantasize or secretly want to have sex. Bonus! Research shows that sex is actually better for women when they get these desires met. Good news, you may just find out that your partner's deepest desires are the same as yours!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:44

do the sex. Welcome to Masturbation Monday with me, annette Benedetti, your host for Locker Room Talk and Chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Today's Masturbation Monday topic is what kind of sex do women really want to be having? Today, I'm going to share seven of the most common types of sex women say they crave. Spoiler alert it's not all candlelight and romance, from secret hotel rooms to rougher play. I've pulled together the latest research and expert advice to help you start satisfying your partner's wettest dreams. You might be surprised at what you find out. Your desires and hers might align more than you thought. So let's get ready to talk about sex Cheers. Let's dive in, and I want to start with something a little spicier, because, well, that's how I like it. Rough sex, raw and passionate, is one of the top ways women report wanting to experience sex. According to a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, up to 57% of women report liking the rougher side of sex, at least some elements. Whether it's hair pulling, well, you know the ever popular light, choking, rough sex makes them feel desired and wanted. It's the primal nature of it that tends to appeal to women. So how do you start integrating this safely into your sex life? Well, first of all, you've got to start out with a talk, that's right. You've got to discuss boundaries before you dive in to hair pulling, choking, any of that kind of stuff. But once you've talked about it and you've established things you want to try, have at it. Try gradually introducing things like dirty talk, rough gripping, maybe a light spanking to start. Remember consent is crucial and make sure you are both on board every step of the way. You don't want to blow this one, folks. My favorite expert tip make sure you are balancing affection with aggression. That adds the secret sauce that makes a woman feel desired and wanted. And, as we all know, when women feel desired, they want sex more Moving on another, one of the top ways women report wanting to have sex is in a new and exciting environment, specifically hotels.

Speaker 1: 3:42

According to a cosmopolitan survey, 62% of women report feeling more open and excited about having new experiences when they are in a different environment. The unfamiliar setting removes the feeling of routine and heightens the sense of spontaneity, mystery and excitement. And who doesn't want that? When it comes to sex, I mean. I can admit to being one of these women. I love some good hotel room sex. According to expert Dr Tammy Nelson, hotel room sex not only breaks the feeling of routine, it offers up this fantasy-like environment where partners can feel more intimate and explore. She also says it's a great way to explore the more playful side of sex and, as we all know, that's when things really get good.

Speaker 1: 4:33

Now I would be remiss if I didn't mention that another one of the top ways women want to have sex is slow and sensual. We do love the slow, sensual sex and how it brings about that element of feeling connected. Women crave not only feeling physically connected to their partner, but also emotionally connected to their partner. According to a study in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 74% of women report feeling more sexually satisfied when their partner focuses on touch, eye contact and foreplay. No surprise there. Many may ask well, how do I achieve this? I thought I was achieving this low, sensual, connected sex.

Speaker 1: 5:21

Some easy tips are first of all, take time to set the atmosphere, lower the lights and light a candle. Create an environment that is romantic. Second, focus on touch. Take actual penetrative sex off the table. Maybe it won't even happen, but take time to touch and explore her body, make eye contact, make sure you're listening and present for her and then focus on foreplay.

Speaker 1: 5:52

This may surprise you it didn't surprise me, but the fourth way that women report wanting to have sex is by adding a taste for adventure with kink. A growing number of women report wanting to experience kink in the bedroom. Adding lighter elements of BDSM is a very common desire, request, hope, fantasy that women have. According to a Kinsey study, 47% of women report wanting to play with kink and introduce some elements of BDSM into the bedroom. Whether that's light, spanking, handcuffs or just exploring the dom-sub dynamic, kinky play allows women to explore their desires in a way that feels fun, liberating and adds an element of unpredictability. So how do you embark on introducing kinky play into your sexual dynamic with your partner if you haven't done it before? Start by introducing simple props like handcuffs, restraints or a blindfold. Just remember, communication is key here. Making sure you're both on the same page is key here. Make sure you know your boundaries ahead of time and you've introduced safe words.

Speaker 1: 7:05

The fifth way that women report wanting to have sex that was actually a surprise to me is quickies. Women actually report enjoying quickies. I am not one of those women. Quickies and the heat of the moment, spontaneous sex is a huge turn on for a lot of women. A survey in Men's Health found that 58% of women said spontaneous sex in places like the kitchen or the shower or even the outdoors is a huge turn on. The thrill of doing something spontaneous and even a little bit risky adds adrenaline and excitement to the whole experience. My top expert tip for you is, if you're in a long-term relationship where things have gotten a little dull, boring or routine, the thrill of spontaneity can reignite passion and romance in a relationship. A quickie now and then is a good way to let her know you still find her irresistible, Whether you decide to do it raw, rough and primal or have a quickie.

Speaker 1: 8:05

Another one of the top ways women report desiring to experience sex is in the great outdoors. Again, that's not necessarily one of my things, but apparently a lot of women want to do it in the woods. Sex in the great outdoors or in adventurous locations ranks high on women's fantasy lists. According to a Kinsey Institute study, 55% of women report having a fantasy about sex in an outdoor location, on a beach or somewhere that feels forbidden. The thrill of being exposed to nature and the risk of getting caught makes this fantasy extra enticing to women. According to Dr Laura Berman, a leading relationship expert, adventurous sex can deepen the emotional bond between partners by tapping into that primal and more instinctual side that they have for one another.

Speaker 1: 9:00

And finally, the seventh most common way that women say they want to have sex is by living out their fantasies through role play. A Journal of Sexual Research study found that 65% of women say they enjoy roleplay because it allows them to step out of their day-to-day lives and embody someone else for a moment. It's a playful way to mix things up and make sex feel new again. Dr Esther Perel says that roleplaying encourages partners to tap into their creativity and desire and encourages them to step outside of their routine and explore new dynamics together. And creating new dynamics in a long-term relationship goes a long way towards keeping things spicy and hot, which we all want, and encourages and helps relationships last longer. So there you go. Those are the top seven ways Research back ways that women report desiring craving to have sex.

Speaker 1: 10:01

So my top intimacy expert tip to you is don't make assumptions about how women want to have sex or how your partner wants to have sex. Perhaps she has some secret desires. She just hasn't felt confident communicating yet. So communicate, communicate, have sexy conversations with your partner. It's one of the best ways to improve sex overall. Do you have any questions or comments? Well, you can send me an email at Annette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom. If you're on my YouTube channel, you can scroll down and drop a comment below the video. It's a great way to let me know you have a very specific question about a specific topic I've covered. If you are looking to figure out how to spice things up in your relationship with your partner or you have some intimacy issues you would like support with, my books are open. You can find out more at talk sex with a netcom and, of course, drop me a email. Scroll down below to my speak pipe link. Sent me a voicemail and we'll connect. So until next time, cheers. I'll see y'all on the walk Ring loop.