Is Sex with Older Women Hot or Not? 7 Myths Debunked

What is this I hear about “the Wall”? I’m here to talk about the reality of being an “older woman” (I’m talking 40 and up) and what sex is really like. Sure, I’m going to share my perspective, but I dug into science-backed research and the studies have quite a bit to say about the type of sex and quality of intimacy older women are having. Today’s Masturbation Monday will debunk 7 myths and lay down facts about sex with older women.

• In this episode you’ll learn:
• How aging affects women’s libidos
• How older women have orgasms
• How older women feel about kink
• What younger men think about older women
• The truth about older women and sexual health

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:44

do the sex. Welcome to Masturbation Monday with me, annette Benedetti, your host for Locker Room Talk and Chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Today's Masturbation Monday topic is going to be all about hot, hot sex with older women. I'm going to be focusing on talking about women that are in their 40s, mid 40s and up. As women, age myths about their sex drive, their libido, their desire and interest in sex abounds, and the reality is there's plenty of research out there to debunk these myths. There's plenty of research out there to debunk these myths and, on top of that, there are many, many women like me I am currently 50, that are living and speaking truth to what the reality is of a woman in her midlife, older than 20 and 30s, childbearing years and our relationship to sexuality. Now, if you want to listen to and find out more about my own personal experience as I explore this new territory because unfortunately, the generations of women who came before me were not given the information I've been given, and so sort of women's sexuality in mid to later life is a new, unexplored adventure for many of us. But if you want to find out more about my adventures, my exploration into what my sexuality, sex life, pleasure potential is in midlife, you can scroll down to the notes section below this and you can subscribe to my sub stack. I just launched it last week with my first post. I have a free version in which you can read articles where I share some of the things I'm going through, experiencing and finding out. You can subscribe to my own sexual journey audio podcasts, videos. I'm sharing photo essays, basically giving people an inside look at the mind, emotions and life of a woman exploring her sexuality in her fifties. So make sure to check that out. It's called Talk Sex with Annette Desire Diaries and the link is below. For right now, what we are going to be going over are seven myths that are incredibly common about older women's sexuality, and I'm going to debunk them. And not only that, I'm going to share truths about older women again 40, 45 and up, what the reality is about our sexuality, how we like to have sex and how we're looking to have sex, so grab a cup of coffee, join me in bed for what's going to be a fun conversation about women in midlife and sex Cheers.

Speaker 1: 4:11

One of the most common myths about women in aging is that they lose interest in sex as they get older. This simply isn't true. In fact, most women express gaining interest and desire as they age, and for those who don't, they report that their desire stays pretty consistent over time. Now, research from the North American Menopause Society found that while some women experience some hormonal change in their libido, which they are able to treat through hormone replacement therapy, largely women didn't find that their libido was affected much at all. Additional studies that were published in the Journal of American Medical Society found that over 50% of women ages 50 to 79 reported increased desire and increased satisfaction when it came to sex and their sexual experience. So, as you can see, the studies that have been conducted so far on women's sexuality and aging show that aging isn't really a factor when it comes to our interest in sex and satisfaction.

Speaker 1: 5:28

Women can't have orgasms when they get older. This is sort of the craziest myth that's out there and incredibly prevalent, and the worst part about this myth is that it gets into the heads of women as they age and they start to stress out about it, and they bring that stress into the bed, which can also make it difficult for them to orgasm. This myth largely ignores the vast amount of information out there that shows that women not only continue to orgasm as they age. Women report having more intense and satisfying orgasms as they age, and I, for one, can tell you this is very reflective of my own personal experience. The orgasms that I'm currently having I never experienced as a younger woman, but you don't have to take my word for it. Research backs me up. In fact, one study that was published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that most women were reporting more frequent and more intense orgasms as they age, and this is largely thought to be due to the fact that we become more comfortable with our bodies, more confident in our bodies, and that we've had time to explore our own pleasure more thoroughly. God knows, I certainly have. So, ladies, grab that partner or get yourself a whole bunch of toys, because your future is filled with big O's.

Speaker 1: 6:56

Menopause marks the end of a woman's sex life Myth busted again and again and again. Menopause is often seen as the end of a woman's sex life, but nothing could be further from the truth. Menopause is just a natural transition, not a sexual dead end. While menopause can cause problems like vaginal dryness or discomfort, there are really simple treatments and solutions for these problems. There are lubricants, there are vaginal creams, there's hormone replacement therapy. In fact, research from the Mayo Clinic has found that many women find sex more exciting and satisfying after menopause due to decreased concerns about pregnancy, not feeling held to societal expectations of beauty and sexuality anymore. So menopause for many women actually marks the new chapter of their sex life, one in which they get to write their own story and get to be their own version of their authentic, sexy selves. So here's to menopause Cheers.

Speaker 1: 8:07

Older women aren't sexually adventurous or kinky Myth busted. Contrary to popular belief, as women get older, they tend to be more interested in sexual adventures and kink. This is largely due to the fact that they become more confident in expressing their desires and their curiosities. A survey conducted in AARP found that 40% of women over 50, 40% of women over 50 reported being interested in trying new sexual adventures, including kink and BDSM. That's right. Get ready to get the whips and handcuffs out. This interest and comfort in expressing interest and curiosity just comes from women becoming more comfortable and confident in expressing their needs and trying new things as they get older. It's just another good reason to find an older woman for sexy, sexy, fun connection and adventures.

Speaker 1: 9:10

Older women are not attractive to younger men. This is a myth that cracks me up, because I have not experienced this at all as I've gotten older, and I'm not the only one. Studies and social trends are showing that more and more younger men are pursuing older women because they are attracted to their confidence, their experience and their emotional maturity. A study that was published in the Journal of Sex Research found that younger men reported that they sought out these relationships because they found that relationships with older women felt more stable, more fulfilling and more sexually satisfying. And, according to this report, while many of the younger men said that they found older women more physically attractive, what really sealed the deal for them were these other qualities that older women brought to the table in a relationship that they simply found irresistible.

Speaker 1: 10:10

Now, this myth is a strange one to me. It's that older women don't care about their sexual health. This isn't true at all. In fact, the reason why there is now research being done, a massive amount of research being done on menopause and women, is because women are insisting on receiving the kind of sexual health care that they deserve at every age. Even a report from the International Society for Sexual Medicine found that older women were seeking sexual health information more and more and more and that, generally speaking, across all ages, women are highly concerned about their sexual health and demanding the care that they want, need and should have been getting all along, need and should have been getting all along.

Speaker 1: 11:01

And finally, one of the most archaic myths about women who age and their sexuality is that we should not be seeking out or trying to have new sexual experiences, especially with more than one person. The reality is, research has largely found that staying sexually active, being sexually adventurous and trying new things not only is like fun for us and something we want to do. It's actually good for our health. Getting a regular dose of oxytocin, of dopamine, of all of the yummy good chemicals that pour into our systems when we're excited, when we're satisfied, when we're orgasming, it really is like taking a whole health vitamin. Regular vaginal penetration with a partner or on your own will help keep your vaginal health top notch. It will keep that skin from atrophying, which means you can have a whole lot more sexy times to come in the future. So, seeking out sexual experiences with new people if you happen to be single, or if you're poly or partner or you are monogamous and you have a partner who's down for that kind of play, it's good for your health mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. It can even be good for your relationship. So, ladies, get out there and play.

Speaker 1: 12:25

Don't let age be a factor in how you look at or think about sex, sexuality or your sexual desirability. Don't believe the incels out there who try to tell you we hit the wall at like whatever ridiculous age they say I think it's something like 30. We get better and better and better with age and staying sexually active, staying sexually interested, whether that's with other people or with yourself, is going to help your life stay more fulfilled and happier. And for women's counterparts out there men who are in their wow apparently 30s, 40s and up don't count older women out we bring a lot to the table when it comes to connection, emotional satisfaction and a satisfying role in the hay. If you have questions about these myths or about women as they age and sex comments, you know what to do.

Speaker 1: 13:26

Scroll down, hit my speak pipe. You can send me a voicemail. If you are a woman or you're with a woman who is in her 40s, 50s and beyond and you would like some coaching when it comes to intimacy and how to explore this incredible time in her life, you can get ahold of me. My books are open. My email is Annette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom, so send me your messages, your comments, your thoughts. Did I miss a myth? Is there a myth out there you want me to debunk? I'm ready to do it. Just reach out and let me know. And until next time I'll see y'all in the locker room. Cheers.