Solutions for Penis Problems & Solving the Orgasm Gap

Prepare to be enlightened as Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent and I tackle penis problems, the orgasm gap, and how to overcome them.  In this episode we dive into the heart of male sexual health, uncovering issues many men face including erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. We're not just discussing problems; we're providing tangible solutions, aiming to bring everyone closer to sexual satisfaction and ultimately closing the Orgasm gap.
In this episode, we discuss:
ED Causes & Solutions
Premature Ejaculation causes & solutions
Delayed Ejaculation causes & solutions
Low Libido & soft hardons (causes & solutions)
Fantastic tips for being an incredible lover even when dealing with penis problems.
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Chapters

• 0:47 Penis Problems and the Orgasm Gap
• 8:31 Male Sexual Dysfunction and Orgasm Gap
• 20:51 Sexual Pleasure and Aging
• 25:34 Men's Hesitation Towards Vibrators in Relationships
• 33:13 Communicating and Pleasuring Your Partner
• 37:10 Improving Sexual Health and Performance
• 49:37 Enhancing Libido, Erections, and Sexual Satisfaction
• 1:03:13 Discovering Solutions for Sexual Performance

Transcript

Annette Benedetti: 0:47

Hi, this is Annette Vinedetti, your hostess for a locker room talk, and shots the podcast that likes to think of itself as the queer NPR of raunchy women's sex talk. You are about to sit in on the kind of conversations women have on their girls' nights out or behind closed doors, while enjoying delicious drinks and dishing about sex, think fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy. One orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's locker room talk topic is penis problems and solving the orgasm gap.

Annette Benedetti: 1:34

Now, we have addressed the orgasm gap on this podcast many a time. We have talked about why women and vulva owners aren't coming and what some of the challenges they face are, what some of the solutions are so they can start coming more. We've talked about who's coming and not coming, and so if you are new to this podcast, or you just don't remember or you're unfamiliar, we will be making sure that by the end of this podcast, you know a little bit more about those stats. Now what we have not done is talked about the orgasm gap from a man or a penis owner's point of view. We have not talked about in depth the problems that some penis owners have, how they show up in bed, how they exacerbate the orgasm gap issue, and then solutions to help start lessening that gap, so we can all start coming equally more and feeling good about our experience in bed.

Annette Benedetti: 2:32

Now I am not qualified to talk about a penis owner's experience, so I've told you many times before that I was love to have a penis for a week, a month, maybe even a year. I would have a heyday, I'm telling you. But because I am not a penis owner, it's very important to me that the expert I bring in today is qualified to speak on these issues, and my expert is more than qualified. My guest today is Jeff Abraham. He is the CEO of Permission, a fast growing $12 million company that specializes in comprehensive range of science-backed products designed to empower individuals and couples in achieving a fulfilling sex life. Jeff is passionate about elevating the conversation around sexual health and wellness and by de-stigmatizing topics that have to do with intimacy, which is great, because that's what I'm passionate about too, jeff. So welcome, and I would love for you to take a moment to tell my listeners a little bit more about you.

Jeff Abraham: 3:35

Like you stated, I'm the CEO of Permission and I've been the CEO of Permission since 2011,. So for 12 years, and during that time we've grown from about $120,000 a year to this year we'll do about $12 million and we're on target next year to about $16 million. I came about this career path rather circuitously. I was the CEO of a semiconductor engineering business and retired at age 53, 13 years ago, and my next door neighbor was the founder of this company and I invested in and was actually asked to take it over a year later. So my background comes from semiconductor engineering, but I do own a penis, as you did state, and from running this company for many years.

Jeff Abraham: 4:22

I've talked to both men and women about how problems with the penis, particularly premature ejaculation, affects couples intimacy. So I spend probably 90% of my work life talking to patients who suffer from PE, women who are affected by their partner's PE, therapists who treat PE and urologists who treat PE. So at one point I was introduced to a urological convention as probably the preeminent expert on premature ejaculation, and I had told him at the time. I said before you use that as an epitaph my tombstone. If I pass away, make sure you put an asterisk with an explanation of why that was the case. I'd hate to be that be my lifelong legacy for my grandchildren and great grandchildren going forward. So I do happen to have a wealth of knowledge just from 12 years of working extensively in this area.

Annette Benedetti: 5:15

What a banner to have, what a medal to have. But no, I mean, I think it's fantastic, though, to be able to help people who are having challenges in bed. I mean, that's what I'm here for. So you and I are kind of on the same track, so listener on the same path, better intimacy.

Annette Benedetti: 5:33

Exactly, exactly. And if you stay listener to the end of this podcast, there's going to be a payoff, while you're going to get a lot of tips to have better sex. But certainly if you are having, have ever had or dating someone, banging someone who has had penis issues, we are going to really dig into them, how to deal with them, give you some solutions for the actual issue and what to do when it happens in bed. So this episode is going to be really rich in information for people who are with people and sleeping with people who have penis as cocks. You know members that sometimes just don't want to cooperate. So I'm ready. I'm ready to dive in, so I'm. We're both drinking something healthy right now. Kind of mine is a mocktail. What are you drinking over there?

Jeff Abraham: 6:23

Yep, I'm drinking a kombucha infused with probiotics. It's tangerine flavored.

Annette Benedetti: 6:30

Yeah, see, we're staying healthy, so we can be good in bed, right.

Jeff Abraham: 6:34

That's exactly right. The better your health, the better you perform 100% cheers. Let's keep it healthy Cheers.

Annette Benedetti: 6:40

Let's talk about penises and sex. I'm very excited about this conversation, but what I want to just launch in with right away. You've already mentioned one of the most common problems that people with penises face, which is premature ejaculation, but what is the array of issues that people with penises and men face in bed?

Jeff Abraham: 7:01

If we're talking, you're talking specifically about sexual function, so we'll leave out incontinence and you know all that kind of stuff Right? So we're talking about sex and it's funny you mentioned that because we just launched an RX platform to have generic viagra, cialis, levitra, because so many people said you're helping me with the duration of intercourse that I have, but what if I can't get it up? So we have that product as well. The two main sexual malfunctions and I'll break down the second one into two different categories is number one, ed, erectile dysfunction, and number two, pe, which is premature ejaculation.

Jeff Abraham: 7:39

Now there's a subset of premature ejaculation, which is delayed ejaculation. There are some men that actually can't ejaculate and there's a lot of women that might say why is that an issue? More pleasure for me over a longer period of time. But if you're really sensitive and we all should be about our partner you're obviously going to have a very frustrated partner if he's having sex with you for an hour and a half and can't ejaculate, because the whole idea of intimacy is to hopefully on the majority of times doesn't mean every single time but have a climax and reach your due reward for the effort you're putting in. So and delayed ejaculation is actually very rare it occurs in two or 3% of males, whereas premature ejaculation, almost every male at some point is lifeful experience either acute or chronic premature ejaculation. So there are two basic sexual malfunctions of those of us who own penises, one of them be the ability to get hard, Secondly being the ability to last long enough to satisfy your partner.

Annette Benedetti: 8:47

Right, right, and I would add in, as far as the not being able to come, like I've definitely, throughout my years of having sex, have had a partner here and there that couldn't come, and I feel like there are moments like, oh God, I'm really being a guy about it. I'm like, well, come on, what's wrong, dude? Like I am pulling out all the stops and I am tired and I need you to just finish and make me feel good about myself, so I do.

Jeff Abraham: 9:18

One of the things is and this is not a myth, this exists Okay, if your partner can't come, even if you know he has a physiological issue, you start internalizing Am I not attractive? Okay, am I not good? Am I not stimulating him? And the one thing that we need to have everyone do is take a step back. If your partner is prematurely ejaculating, it doesn't mean that he doesn't want to please you. In fact, anyone who suffers from premature ejaculation will tell you they want nothing more than to satisfy their partner. They don't want to disappoint their partner. They're profoundly upset and anxious about not being able to satisfy their partner.

Jeff Abraham: 10:01

If a man can't get an erection, there are many reasons that physiological that's happening. It doesn't mean you're not attractive. It doesn't mean he's not turned on. There are specific instances, like in the case of PE. Whether it is hypersensitivity, the penile nerves, prostatitis, low testosterone, those things, I don't care if you're with a Victoria's Secret model or if you're a woman and you're with a guy who's an Adonis, okay. If you have a low libido, there can be specific physiological reasons that have nothing to do with your partner, but we tend to internalize it. If my partner's not performing as expected, it must be a deficiency on my part. That's not the case. We need to take down the anxiety.

Annette Benedetti: 10:49

Right, Because anxiety, as we all know, only makes it all worse. So I guess a couple of problems that we should also address and we have definitely addressed them as they relate to women and people with vulvas is low libido, and obviously I've talked about it in how it affects a woman, but I haven't really addressed men's experience of low libido, low desire, and that can be really hard on, obviously, their partner. So let's throw those into the mix and commit to also addressing those issues throughout this podcast. But I want to jump pretty quickly to because it's all going to tie together. We're tying in penis problems to the orgasm gap. Now I'm confident you are brushed up on the orgasm gap Stats, probably even better than I am. But some of the main ones I want to talk about is who is coming primarily and who's not. Do you have those stats on hand to throw out here?

Jeff Abraham: 12:27

Absolutely. The average female takes almost 18 minutes of thrusting during penetration to achieve climax. And we're not talking about PE. We're talking about the average healthy male and female. The average healthy man lasts five minutes and 42 seconds during penetration thrusting. Now think about that for a second. So even in couples that are the norm, that don't suffer from PE, that's the arousal or orgasm gap. If a man is ejaculating in five minutes and 42 seconds and a woman takes almost 18 minutes to achieve climax, then even in healthy couples they're a gap. That's why you see 7 trillion vibrators in the world. That's why guys stop, start. Think about baseball scores, think about their grandmother naked, all these coping mechanisms to try to slow down the eventual point of no return or going over the edge, or however you want to refer to it. So the one thing I will tell people we have many people who use our product, our male delay spray, one of our products, and they will say I didn't think I actually needed anything. I don't think that I suffered from PE, but I tried your product on a lark. My girlfriend bought it. She saw it on here, or I saw a thing. Hey, what the heck, we'll have a special night.

Jeff Abraham: 13:48

I bought it and I began to realize it, even though I lasted long enough to satisfy my partner. The last two to three minutes I was literally straining. I was we call it, walking on eggshells. A little guy on one shoulder is not yet and the other guy is going. I'm this close, I want that feeling. And you have this dichotomy of, on one hand, you can't wait to feel this pleasure, on the other hand, you're going. My partner's not done yet and we've had I can't even tell you how many people that said I literally was thinking about something else, detaching myself. I wasn't in the moment because I knew that if I really let go I was going to ejaculate. So they said, once I tried your product, I went from can I last long enough to satisfy my partner to how many orgasms do I want to give her before I finish and we talked about this earlier with anxiety. Anxiety to me is almost the antistasis that are opposite of intimacy. You never want those two intersect. So if you can take anxiety out of intimacy, you're going to have better intimacy because you can literally enjoy it.

Jeff Abraham: 14:57

And we've actually had females that said when my partner started using your product, your permescent delay spray, it took our relationship to another level. He's into it, he's more verbal, he's really present, whereas before I didn't realize it he was so focused on trying not to ejaculate I thought he wasn't into having sex. Meanwhile, where are you? Well, here, you know where I'm at. I'm over here trying my best not to ejaculate before you do or before you climax.

Jeff Abraham: 15:25

So it's not just people who blow their load in 30 seconds, a minute, two minutes, four minutes the way we should define a rapid or premature ejaculation. If you're ejaculating before you have satisfactory sex or satisfactory intimacy with your partner, if you last 10 minutes and your partner takes 17 minutes and you don't feel like going down and having oral sex for 20 minutes to kind of prime the pump before you start, or if you don't want to have a massive vibrator session, you should be able to have the confidence that you're going to be able to last. But another thing we got to make sure everybody understands is a certain percentage of women and it's significant don't climax through vaginal intercourse, and that's one of the reasons I tell people that I don't believe the advent on how easy it is to get porn, whether it's over your phone or anything, now is a beneficial thing. It's not a good thing to a lot, especially young people that are just becoming familiar with sex. There's the majority of people now who have actually watched porn before they have sex.

Jeff Abraham: 16:29

Young people and a lot of young people think that the average penis is 10 and a half inches long. It's a circumference of a beer can that the average porn star literally thrust for an hour and then runs across the room and shoots his partner in the eye from 30 feet away. That's the norm. Okay, that is not the norm.

Jeff Abraham: 16:49

I always tell people I'm really glad that you know I'm 66, so I had my first sex when I was 15 years old that I literally hadn't been able to watch porn. I would have been so riddled with anxiety oh my God, compared to that guy, you know. And I think the first time I had sex I lasted 30 seconds and I thought, oh, I'm a stud, this is awesome, you know. And so not having those preconceived notions of what the average penis is supposed to be, how long it's supposed to last and how far you can shoot your ejaculate with deadly accuracy across the room, it was a big thing for me to allow myself to feel comfortable about myself before I started watching porn and realized those are porn actors. So it's really important that people understand that what you see in porn isn't normal. Okay, those aren't. Everyone can't do back flips and then thrust right into anal on the fly you know what I mean.

Annette Benedetti: 17:47

Oh, but if they could.

Jeff Abraham: 17:49

Oh, if they could trust me. Why do you think I take Pilates? You know what I mean. I'm trying to do my best, you know. But it's just not normal for people to think that that's the way they should be behaving. I don't watch the US Open Tennis Match or Wimbledon and think I can play tennis like that, you know. I mean, I don't go to Cirque du Soleil and think that I should be able to do the kind of things the acrobats do. But why is it with sex, we have this stigma that everybody has to go on the best that ever lived. Oh my God. And I tell people that when I, you know, before I took this job, if someone would say to me what's the most fragile substance on earth, I would say I don't know some Faberge egg material. You know those $10,000 little eggs or some kind of rare mineral. No, the most fragile substance on earth is the male eagle. Make no mistake about it.

Annette Benedetti: 18:48

Every single guy. You said it, you said it. Oh, I'm being honest.

Jeff Abraham: 18:53

I told you I was gonna be real. Okay, you don't get any more real. I'm a guy saying to guys shut the fuck up and just relax. Okay, you don't have to be the absolute best at sex. Okay, as long as you listen to your partner, you communicate, you really try to satisfy her, you're gonna go a long way to being an ideal lover for her. That doesn't mean you have to have a 12-inch cock. It doesn't have to be the circumference of a beer. Can you don't listen to your partner and really be in tune with what she needs? And that's the most important thing.

Annette Benedetti: 19:29

I am so glad you said that. I mean, really, we're just done with this podcast now. Now, no, I love that you said that, and it's really important that you also circled back to the fact that most, by and large and I think I have a stat that says something like 81.6% of women don't come just from penetration, exactly, and so, while the length of erection is, it is important in that, especially because some men after having, after coming, have this refractory period where it's like they're just like done and women are not going to be done. And I think that what's really important to understand is that there is so much more to sex than just the penis and vagina. Part of it it's, I mean not gonna lie.

Jeff Abraham: 20:23

You know what I talked earlier, when you said just I'd like to have a penis for a week or a month.

Annette Benedetti: 20:29

Yeah, probably a year, I just feel like it.

Jeff Abraham: 20:32

Do you know how many times I thought I'd like to be a woman, just to see what it would be like to not have a limited amount of orgasms? And you know how you talked about the refractory period. Let's be real clear about the refractory period. Okay, it obviously exists, but it is almost a non-issue when you're younger. I use this analogy and I make it kind of like with you know, weapons or guns when you are 15, 16, up until you're 25 or 28,. You're a machine gun, Just firing out as many bullets as you need for as long as you need to, and blah blah, blah, blah.

Annette Benedetti: 21:09

yes, Okay.

Jeff Abraham: 21:10

Then you're say 28 to 38. Okay, then you're a semi-automatic weapon. Okay, then you're 38 to 45 or 50. Then you're a rifle, bolt action. Put in another bolt, you know you're firing away. You get to be 66, which is my age You're a musket. Remember they used to have those things in the Revolutionary War where you put the powder in and then you got to put the bullet in and then you're ramming thing and then you shoot once and then literally it's when you're my age.

Jeff Abraham: 21:42

I need a night's sleep and a good breakfast and a workout. Then I'm ready to go again, okay. So I think that's one of the reasons that, even as you get older, both men and women appreciate each orgasm that much more, because there isn't always another one five minutes down the road and it's really important. And you know how they say you don't appreciate what you have until it becomes scarce or it's gone. That's true. So as you get older and all of a sudden you're not capable of having, you know sex, you know five, six, seven times a night. It's very important to make sure that you get the maximum amount of pleasure out of each episode, each encounter that you have.

Annette Benedetti: 22:25

Well, and in juxtaposition to that, as women we hit our 40s and 50s at least in my case and a lot of the women I know in my age range, like I want to have sex all the time.

Annette Benedetti: 22:38

Something happened to me that the hormonal fluctuation also post menopause.

Annette Benedetti: 22:44

There have been recent studies that just show so much stress is reduced for women in their 50s because we're not having our periods, we don't have to worry about getting pregnant. Like you know, we're more comfortable with our bodies. We're just in this phase of life where we're, like, our responsibilities to be socially a certain way are gone and we're just like, okay, not only do we want to have a lot of sex, we want to have weird sex, and if we're going to have sex with you, we want to like do a lot of things for a lot of time, and so I think that that can be really challenging. If, especially if you're heterosexual, or if your partner is a penis owner, a man in your same age range, and they're like I'm less interested in sex these days, which happens, I mean I've definitely run into this issue. And not only that then they can't you know, you have to have their orgasm, kind of be the last thing that happens, because they do want to like roll over and go to sleep after.

Annette Benedetti: 23:48

And and like I can have, you know, a couple of orgasms in an evening and still be ready to play Like I'm, like I still want to do stuff.

Jeff Abraham: 23:58

But when I tell people and this is good advice for a lot of the men listening and a lot of women's that suggest it to their men, especially when someone suffers from rapid or premature ejaculation I've often said this and people laughed at first, but they're like I think you're on to something here. I always tell people put one in the bank before you start. What does that mean? And they said, as a man, it, especially if you suffer from rapid or premature ejaculation, give your partner an orgasm before you even attempt to have penetration, whether it's with your hand, with your mouth, with a vibrator, with whatever. Because then in your mind you already know she's achieved one climax. That automatically takes the anxiety or stress level down a bit because you're going oh my God, she's okay. So we're adding a cherry on top of the Sunday, as opposed to not having a Sunday at all. You know that kind of a thing. But you have to be careful. That's why communication is so key, because I've had women actually tell me I don't have my first orgasm. I like it to be vaginally because it's so intense. I don't have the same intensity of orgasm up. So that's why communication is so key. But work with your partner Find out. You know, if you, if you don't last long enough to when she usually orgasms, get her really close beforehand so that she climaxes very soon upon you, starting in her course, and then, like you said, you have different options for giving her a second or a third orgasm and not leaving her going hey, what did you do? Roll over and go to sleep. I'm still ready to go round two, round, three or whatever.

Jeff Abraham: 25:34

A lot of men, even in this day and age 2023, are hesitant to introduce a vibrator into their relationships. I believe the feeling is this is because I'm deficient or I'm not enough, or why does she need that? If I'm good at what I do? I'm like, hey, this is not about in place of it's in addition to, I guess because of my age and I've always been pretty open I want my partner to have as many and as intensive an orgasm as possible. Because so many times someone say to me oh, you're such a considerate lover. I'm like, hey, I'm paying it forward. I know that, as a man, if my partner is having quite a few intense orgasms, she's going to go. I'm taking care of him, I want him around. Okay, this guy is a keeper. Conversely, if I'm not in tune with her, if I could care less whether she has an orgasm as long as I'm getting mine, I'm going to have about two or three encounters with that woman before she goes.

Jeff Abraham: 27:37

This guy's not doing it for me. Okay, this is not really what I had in mind. I'm over here using a vibrator and he's sleeping. I had to pull it out from under the bed and not turn it on too loud so I don't offend him. I've never understood that idea that if I pull a vibrator out or sex toys that guys get up tight, it's your partner. You want her to have as much pleasure as possible. Who gives a shit? Whether it's your toe, your finger, your tongue, your vibrate, whatever.

Annette Benedetti: 28:08

I love that you started with toe. Jeff, you started with toe. That was interesting. That's a whole lot.

Jeff Abraham: 28:14

I'm here to please tell me what I can use. You know what I mean.

Annette Benedetti: 28:21

That's fantastic. I think that that's true. I've also heard a lot of men say well, you know they'll say oh well, your pussy is ruined from like using a high powered machine on it which is not there is. Can back me up here, jeff? Vibrators do not ruin a woman's vagina. It doesn't numb us out so we can't feel anything. It's like that is a common belief that if a woman, you know, uses a vibrator too much, she won't be able to.

Jeff Abraham: 28:53

I totally disagree with that. I tend to believe if a woman uses a vibrator, she becomes much more in tune to her own body rhythms, her own chemistry, what it is that pleases her, and it probably makes her more sensitive, not less.

Annette Benedetti: 29:09

Did you hear that I don't have an ego.

Jeff Abraham: 29:13

You can use a vibrator while I'm inserting and rubbing on your clitoris, I have no issue. As long as you're helping, you know, to have a better orgasm, I can care less, and it's also fun.

Annette Benedetti: 29:24

It's supposed to be fun for your partner to use toys on you. I'm bisexual when I'm with women and I'm using toys on them. Now, given I don't have a dick Certainly if I had one I'd want to use it on them but I think it's also fun. It's like creative You're getting creative in bed and I think sex is supposed to be a time of play and interaction. It's not just about getting to the orgasm.

Jeff Abraham: 29:47

Fun and energizing One of the things that I like to do. If I'm in a new relationship, I'll say to someone I want you to masturbate for me.

Jeff Abraham: 29:56

And you know, and they're either totally into it, they're like what? You're sick, and I'm like, wait, let me tell you something. I can either, through trial and error over the next month, get to know your body, get to know really what it is, and fumble around and have an idea, or I can watch you masturbate one time and I know exactly what you like, exactly the kind of pressure you like, exactly, because there's a big difference between men and women. I have the next guy that I meet in my life that goes I don't like oral sex, I don't like to get blown. We'll be the number first guy I've ever met that says no, I'm not into that. The next one I meet will literally be number one. The plumbing is outside. Everything is pretty self-explanatory.

Jeff Abraham: 30:47

I have dated women, and this is an actual true story. I dated a woman who had a bit of a hooded clitoris that she needed I swear to God 45 to 50 minutes of direct stimulation to have any chance of climaxing. I used to laugh to myself it goes, good thing, I own promessor. I have to go get a job at Whole Foods bagging groceries on the side, just to use my delay spray allowance. And then I dated someone. About a year later. I'm not kidding, you could sneeze an orgasm, I swear to God. It was like she was good for nine, 10. Her record was 23 orgasms in a night. I'm like you actually counted. She's like oh yeah, I keep track. What do you have?

Jeff Abraham: 31:27

like a little calculator next Cross this one up. She would literally I'm not kidding you orgasm in any kind of situation, like it was crazy. And she told me that she first discovered sex. She started masturbating. She was like 11 years old and has always been hyper-orgasmic.

Jeff Abraham: 31:48

So, as a guy, and I dated women who were like I need direct stimulation right on the clip. Oh, my God, really vigorously. Get a brick, put sandpaper on it, rub it, and then the next person don't touch my clip, just lightly around it. You know what I mean. I'm like how can that be the same species? You know?

Jeff Abraham: 32:07

So when you're a man and you say to your female partner, I'd like you to masturbate for me, no, certainly part of it is being a warrior and I freely admit to that. I'm turned on by that more than anyone can even imagine. But even more so it's educational. It's showing me how to please you. It's showing me how you'd like to be touched, because every woman is different, their desires in terms of do they like to be penetrated digitally, do they like oral sex?

Jeff Abraham: 32:41

And a lot of women are really uptight about oral sex and I believe that it has to do with oh my God, do I taste good, do I smell good, because I can't imagine Now some of them might be, I'm really sensitive. But I think a lot of women are really uptight because I've had some actually say that, well, I'm not sure, and I'm like, well, let me worry about it okay, because, trust me, if it's that bad, I'll be right north at a border real soon. You know what I mean, if whatever, and then we'll talk about maybe you need to get something to address that. So I think it's very important. Again, you see the one common theme communication. Talk to your partner. Talk to your partner, ask them to pleasure themselves as if you're a guy with a woman, because it gives you a real idea on what her touch points are, kind of a play on words. Her touch points.

Jeff Abraham: 33:32

But what it is does she like vigorous stimulation? Does she like just light touching, that kind of a thing? So, again, it's important to communicate. If you have a penis, you really need to make sure you're using it correctly. I've actually had men say to me I last 40 to 50 minutes, I want to last an hour and a half. Well, this help I said it probably would help you. But let's go to this first. If you're lasting 40 minutes of penetration and thrusting and you're not satisfying your partner, lasting longer is not your issue. You need to worry about your technique. You need to start communicating with your partner. It's that kind of a thing. So, again, communication. It's very important to know. If your partner doesn't appear to be satisfied doesn't appear, let's get to the bottom of it. What is it? And that is again someone that might be thinking I, my partner, wants me to thrust as hard as I can, as long as I can, and in reality, your partner's laying there going this hurts. Okay, like, get off me.

Annette Benedetti: 34:40

That's happened so much. That is so common. Men and people with penises listen to this part of the podcast. Rarely is the problem we just need. I mean, obviously we most of us have had partners who have come before we were ready for them too, and I do think that it's really important and we are going to talk about some of the different things people with that particular issue can do. But even if you have a partner who comes quickly, they can like grab a toy or use their fingers or continue to pleasure you. I would say, in some ways, the bigger problem is the person who can last but just pounds away at you and there's no intimacy, there's no fun sexiness going on, and most of us, when that happens after a while we just numb out and we're like, please, god, let him come soon so I can be done with this, like that is a. That is a very common experience for women.

Jeff Abraham: 35:41

There's a difference between pleasuring your partner and punishing your partner.

Annette Benedetti: 35:45

Okay, when you are and not the good punish way, the bad punish way.

Jeff Abraham: 35:49

That's exactly. There's a good punish way. You know what I mean. Like you can actually put some costumes on and really play into the punishment part of it. But I'm talking about physical punishment, Literally. Let me see how deep I can trust and how hard I can hammer, for how long I can hammer. That's not what it's about.

Annette Benedetti: 36:09

My clit just curled right up in my body thinking about it. So let's backtrack a little bit. Let's actually talk like, let's break down each of these penis problems how they show up in bed. Let's start with the obvious. The obvious is you just come too soon. Even you know. If you're coming in a couple of minutes and your partner wants a whole night of play, it's gonna be an issue, especially if you're someone who really kind of only can come once a night and then afterwards you're just out of the mood. Or if you're someone who comes once and then you have this refractory period where you just aren't in the mood to play anymore. It's gonna be an issue. So what are some of the solutions to this particular problem and how can they be applied?

Jeff Abraham: 37:00

during We'll talk about some of the solutions that are organic, which don't require like additional products, and some what you can use products. The one thing I will tell you that I personally love is extended foreplay. I'm at an age now that I'm not intimate with someone I don't care for, I'm not into sports sex, it's just not my thing. At 66 years old, if I'm not emotionally connected to someone, I'm not gonna be physically connected to someone, and I still really enjoy pleasuring my partner and that's a big part of intimacy with me and I love foreplay. If I'm in a relationship with someone, I'm attracted to them and that means all parts of their body. So I have no issue having an hour and a half 90 minutes worth of foreplay and really touching every part of my partner and turning on every part of my partner, and I'm a big believer in putting one in the bank before you even get started, unless she has less intense orgasms if you do that. So I think that's the first thing you do is maybe give her an orgasm or two before you even initiate intercourse, or reduce the time to orgasm with extended foreplay so that when you do have penetration or thrusting then you're both in that same timeframe where you're gonna have satisfactory sex. So that's one way to do it. Another way is you can experiment doing kegel exercises.

Jeff Abraham: 38:35

I know most People think kegels are only for women, but kegels have the same effect for men. There's also Nonsexual benefits to it. Number one you know, as you get older some people have like Leakage. They'll occasionally they'll cough and a little bit of urine will escape. By strength of your kegel muscles that eliminates that. Okay, by strengthening happens to men too.

Annette Benedetti: 38:59

Oh yeah, absolutely I didn't. I did, I just learned something today, and don't talk women talk, women share.

Jeff Abraham: 39:05

Okay, guys don't talk, okay. One of the things that kegels do when you have a strengthened PC muscle, the pubic coccyx muscle, you have a more intensive orgasm because it's stronger. So those thrusts and those actual with a man releasing ejaculate with a woman, the actual pulsing of the, the muscles that create orgasm, it become more intense. So there's actual non, there's actual sexual event advantages as well is, like I said, controlling urinary flow. You know those types of things. Then we get to the point where a lot of physicians before promescent came along. We're literally prescribing SSRIs. Now anyone who's non-medical goes what's an SSRI? Then you say selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. Then people say I don't know what that is either. There are depression drugs packs will prozac, zola, those will help men last longer in bed, make no mistake about it. Unfortunately they kill your libido, they give you nausea, dry mouth, I mean, it's Mental lethargy.

Jeff Abraham: 40:14

So when I took over this company, the gentleman who started it he was a urologist that you know invented it I said I want to see everything else. It's out there. There had been a lot of numbing sprays before us and they were lidocaine based and all they do is sit on the surface and they completely numb you and transfer to your partner and numb your partner. And I said I want to see what we're competing against, because I had tried our product and I loved it and I tried stud 100 duration you know some of these other products. You could have dropped a cinder block on my penis and I would have not felt anything. Plus, they transferred to the partner.

Jeff Abraham: 40:48

So the whole basis of promescent is Ron Gilbert. Dr Ron Gilbert, a guy who founded the company, was a genius. They changed the crystalline structure of lidocaine From a solid or a crystal to oil aqueous. So when you apply it within five minutes five to seven minutes goes below the dermis, the outside portion of the skin, to the sensory nerves underneath. When it does that, the man maintains a much higher degree of surface sensitivity and it doesn't transfer to the partner. So you have the benefit of lasting longer without the side effects of everybody becoming numb, which is huge.

Annette Benedetti: 41:23

Yeah, that's a big, I don't need to become numb.

Jeff Abraham: 41:26

Great. Tell people that using an SSRI For PE is like putting out a candle with a fire hose. Okay, what are you doing? Okay, it's like I mean so I had told Ron. I said I want to see what these SSRIs are like that people are prescribing. Give me, you know, a 30-day supply of a, because, being the CEO, I have to understand what we're competing against, what these other things do. Though I said give me a 30-day subscription to these SSRIs. I want to see what it's like.

Jeff Abraham: 41:55

And I remember I was dating a gal she was a financial analyst for shirson Lehman at the time and I said I want to try this within three days. I literally was like, oh my god, I could literally have penetrative sex for an hour without ejaculating. I had to literally focus and try to ejaculate. I'm like, wow, this is pretty. And then I Started literally losing my to beat libido. I felt nauseous. It felt like someone put a blow dryer in my mouth and sucked all the them. I was like, oh my god. So I told him hey, I'm getting off these. No, you can't. There's a half life. You have to taper down. I'm like what if this is permanent? You know he's like no, it's not permanent. Trust me, I was so freaked out and I thought You'd have to be pretty desperate to turn to those, okay that doesn't side effects are horrific.

Jeff Abraham: 42:44

They're depression drugs You're not supposed to be taking if you're not depressed.

Annette Benedetti: 42:48

No, that seems like a really bad idea. I would bad idea.

Jeff Abraham: 42:52

We have documented 2200 Gerologists that refer to promescent by name. We're in the protocol, the majority of them if you go to see him Right in their protocol. For every condition, whether it's prostate issues, whether it's incontinence, whether TD, whether it's PE, they have a protocol which identifies the problem, talks about how it, the origin of it, talks about potential treatments and we're very proud we're the only PE treatment it's actually in the protocol.

Annette Benedetti: 43:18

So this is a gel that you put on.

Jeff Abraham: 43:21

It's a spray, it's a spray. Okay, a meter dose spray, and that's really critical that it's meter dose, so you get the exact same amount each time.

Annette Benedetti: 43:30

Okay, that's awesome, so it now. Is that the only product?

Jeff Abraham: 43:34

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So we started off with that product and it's very successful. Our next product was a product called vita flux, which is a nitric oxide supplement. It has L, arginine, l, citrulline, l, carnitine, zinc and magnesium. It was developed by a physician and Urologist and he was giving it to his patients and one day he said to me man, you look kind of tired. I said, oh, man, the company's growing. I got all these things going on. It was at a show, a American Urological Association show. So he gives me All the ingredients, all the product, and and he said try this. I'm like I gotta take this, got take this, this. There's five different things. I'm like, wow, within two, three days I felt a lot better.

Jeff Abraham: 44:22

Because I don't know if you know what nitric oxide supplements do? They don't increase blood flow. Okay, it has non sexual benefits. That lowers your blood pressure. It allows you to recover from workouts better. It blows plaque out of your arteries, because when you increase blood flow, your arteries expand everything.

Jeff Abraham: 44:41

Now, every Single vein and artery in our body is covered by an epithelial layer and it's very supple when you're young. Its purpose is To allow good things to flow. You know, hormones, vitamins, nutrients to flow into your body and it keeps bad things like viruses and bacteria out. As we age, both men and women, past the age of 38, 39, you start Getting hardening of this epithelial layer. When it hardens, it's even better keeping bad stuff out. Unfortunately, it gets good at keeping good stuff out. So everybody, you ever notice how, when you get over 40, almost every year, you have to work out a little harder and eat better to stay in just as good a shape. It's because of this hardening of the epithelial layer and your hormones don't absorb as well. Vitamins, nutrients don't absorb as well.

Jeff Abraham: 45:34

So for guys, your libido lowers because your hormones aren't as strong. You start having all these other side effects that aren't positive Decrease erectile strength. For women, they lose the ability to naturally lubricate. They have to start using a lot of additional outside lubrication. Their Sexual desire goes down a bit. Their orgasm intensity goes down a bit. Same thing, they lose Muscle and gain a little bit of body fat. Vitaflux reverses that. It really does. It's phenomenal. It's our second best-selling product.

Jeff Abraham: 46:14

And so he gave it to me for an energy boost and everything I was down. So the gal that I was dating at the time says to me about two weeks after I'm taking it, are you using some kind of like ed dresser? No, why, she's only gone. We're had sex like seven on the last eight days and I was 63 at the time, you know and I'm like, well, it just waxes and wanes, you know what I mean, like I wasn't thinking about it. Two weeks later I'm like we're up to 13 out of 14 days here. You know, I'm like whoa.

Jeff Abraham: 46:42

So I called the doctor and I'm like hey, desist to it. He starts laughing, goes a, I go. I didn't know. You told me it's good for it. He goes. Well, you seem kind of run down, I go, I was. I go. By the way, my energy level, everything is so much better. I go. My blood pressure has always been good to begin with. Now it's even lower. He goes. Oh no, it does all that stuff. So that became our second best product for both men and women.

Annette Benedetti: 47:04

So it's. It's for both men and women.

Jeff Abraham: 47:07

Yeah, because it.

Jeff Abraham: 47:08

Everyone has an epithelial layer covering their veins and arteries and it helps soften that up that is Specifically to help with erectile dysfunction now, if you have total ed, it's not going to make you some raging stallion, but as you begin to have diminished Firmness and erections, it will help firm that up. It will help your libido, for both men and women. It helps women moisturize, it helps decrease body fat. It helps lean muscle tissue. It gives you more energy, because when you're fatigued or you're recovering, you know, from any kind of workout or injury, the best way to do that is to get oxygenated, rich blood cells into. That's what this does. It increases blood flow. It's phenomenal. Then we added some testosterone supplements they were successful. Then we added some libido enhancers they were successful.

Annette Benedetti: 49:05

So can we talk about the testosterone and the libido enhancers, because I think those specifically Obviously for men, but I assume women benefit as well.

Jeff Abraham: 49:15

But that is libido, not the testosterone, but the libido enhancer.

Annette Benedetti: 49:18

Yeah, so let's talk about the testosterone to start, is that? What issue does that Deal with the most?

Jeff Abraham: 49:27

As they age, begin to have lower testosterone. It's just part of aging you begin to have lower testosterone. When you have lower testosterone you get some of the same effects. That happens when you lose hormone absorption through, you know, just aging. So you, your penis is not as firm, you don't have the same amount of blood flow. You know you lose libido. So all those things are very similarly with the vita. Flux are Addressed by the testosterone booster.

Annette Benedetti: 49:59

Okay. So then that is again for firmness and and being more in the mood, Raising that libido.

Jeff Abraham: 50:06

Yeah, the higher your testosterone level, the higher your libido.

Annette Benedetti: 50:09

Okay, that's all right. Great to know. And Then your libido boosters can we talk about? Are those for all genders or specifically?

Jeff Abraham: 50:19

separate. There's one for women and one for men. Yeah, there are herbs and stuff and there's clinical studies behind them.

Annette Benedetti: 50:25

So for people with ED, you actually also. I did notice when I went to your site that you now do have a way for people who have erectile dysfunction to get some of the Viagra and pills like that through your site. So it can all be taken care of there. But it sounds like you've also got. Can you name off the products that are for libido boosting and enhancing the erection?

Jeff Abraham: 50:56

They. They're actually called libido Booster. I just libido Testosterone booster. They they actually. You don't have to figure out what they do. We name them what they do. We have a complete line of my readers now too, and our vibrators are doing really really well.

Annette Benedetti: 51:13

Well, I have a question Do you have cock rings and do you think cock rings actually do make the the erections last longer and better?

Jeff Abraham: 51:22

we have cock rings and I had never used one until we started carrying one, so I wanted to try one out and and they really give you a firmer erection because you put it on and all that blood goes and it Titans and it keeps the penis erect. More importantly, it can provide direct stimulation to the culturist during intercourse, and a lot of women don't penetrate from just thrusting. They need clitoral stimulation and instead of having to thrust and go where are you? Reach your hand. Let me see if I can find it's doing it automatically.

Annette Benedetti: 51:59

All right, I'd like to sum it up now for the people that came to this podcast and they were wanting to know what the orgasm gap was. Now you know. Now you know that full of the owners and women aren't having the same amount of orgasms as men. However, we, I think, have addressed a lot of things that men can do, not only to overcome some of the penis problems they're having, but also to start closing that orgasm gap. I think you really spoke to the need to listen to your partner, to take time in bed, to play, to pleasure the whole body if you want to get her there, but then, really talking about the actual challenges that people with penises have I mean, their penis is part of the sex game and I think that we talked about the not coming too quick, the quick comer, like things that you can do to last longer, and I felt like you did a great job of summing up.

Annette Benedetti: 53:05

You know, first of all, spending a lot of time in foreplay to start, and then you've got a gel, that a spray. Why do I keep saying gel? It's a spray. You have a spray that helps last longer, but it doesn't totally deaden the dick or the vagina. Playing with the dick. It goes beneath the skin and numbs some of the nerves enough to give you Venturing nerves underneath.

Jeff Abraham: 53:34

It desensitizes those without transferring.

Annette Benedetti: 53:37

Right, you also spoke to erectile dysfunction, which I think can be a mood killer for everybody in the bedroom. It can make a man or a person with a penis feel super self-conscious. It can make their partner feel less than it can. And when there are feelings and you did mention this at the beginning when there are feelings of inadequacy, when there is anxiety, and you bring that into the bedroom, it is a mood killer Period Nobody's coming. Nobody's coming, nobody.

Jeff Abraham: 54:14

And so If you're both probably gonna end up sleeping facing opposite directions. You know what?

Annette Benedetti: 54:19

I mean, which is that? Nobody wants that, nobody wants that.

Jeff Abraham: 54:22

No one wants that.

Annette Benedetti: 54:23

Right, and so you brought up the. Vitaflex. I am super curious about that one. That one, I think is worth everybody looking into.

Jeff Abraham: 54:29

We didn't send you any of that yet.

Annette Benedetti: 54:31

No, I do not. I have not tried that, but it sounds like I could benefit from it.

Jeff Abraham: 54:35

Well, you are going. There will be some VitaFlex winging its way to you as soon as I get off this podcast.

Annette Benedetti: 54:41

I'm excited about that, because what I love about that is what it comes down to is sex for people of all genders is about the whole person, and we talked about it at the beginning like you have to be healthy to be sexually at your best, and this sounds like a product that really does address the whole person.

Jeff Abraham: 55:04

And then you get to get hard, and then you get to get horny, and then you If people spend as much time and energy and money on their sexual wellbeing as they did going to the gym, buying clothes, getting their hair cut, their shoes, their purses, I don't get it. If you're doing all that, what are you doing it for? You're doing it to attract the mates. Why don't you put as much energy into satisfying that mate so you have a long-term relationship, rather than spending all the money attracting them and then disappointing them once you have an opportunity to interact with them?

Annette Benedetti: 55:39

Right which was something else I thought you spoke to really well as well which is also not being able to come and pounding away at a vulva owner woman for hours and hours does not mean you're good in bed. It doesn't mean you're good in bed. Nobody wants to be pounded for hours on end unless you're doing some really good, wonderful stuff with the rest of the body during that whole Exactly Activity.

Jeff Abraham: 56:07

So I talk to people all day, every day having sex, counseling others on having sex, and that is one of the number one complaints is my male partner. All he cares about is pounding me. I don't want to be pounded Now. Maybe once a month I want to be pounded I'll let you know when, okay, but the majority of time I want you to realize that I have arogynous zones, that I have certain things that really turn me on. Try a few of those once in a while.

Annette Benedetti: 56:39

Yes, do try those, and if you're wondering about things you can try, you can scroll back through my podcast and I cover pretty much everything. You also spoke to focusing on boosting testosterone and libido, and there are solutions to that that are really rooted in. Again, addressing your internal health. Before we wrap this up, for someone who is suffering right now from either ED or premature ejaculation or not ejaculate, what is that called? Again, Delayed ejaculation?

Jeff Abraham: 57:14

Delayed ejaculation.

Annette Benedetti: 57:15

Any of those things where they're just feeling like I get into a bedroom situation and I am not functioning how I want to. Can you give like two, three pieces of quick advice Like here's what you can start doing today to be fucking better in the next couple of days or week.

Jeff Abraham: 57:34

I would say there's a couple of things you can do. Number one get a complete, thorough physical evaluation. If this problem is because and there are issues like I said, low testosterone, hypersensitive penile nerves, damaged blood vessels, which can lead to ED, you have to find out first if there is a significant trauma that you have or significant hormone deficiency that you have. That because nothing's gonna happen until that's addressed. Okay. So, number one get a workup by a qualified sexual. They're usually urologists, sexual medicine specialists.

Jeff Abraham: 58:11

Number two clean up your entire health. Don't be drinking every single night to excess. Don't be doing a lot of recreational drugs. Okay, I get high. I never hide it, I love getting high. It's an herb. Okay, I don't do hard shit. Okay, I don't do ecstasy coke, any of that shit, because there's severe ramifications to that.

Jeff Abraham: 58:37

Eat healthier, work out. If you're gonna expect to be very active in bed with your partner for 60 minutes and you don't do anything else for the other 23 hours a day, you're gonna have hard being very vital and very physical for 60 minutes. By eating healthier, you're going to increase your mental acuity, you're going to increase your energy level. So all those things are intertwined. Like I said earlier, we have people that spend thousands of dollars a month on clothing and haircuts and all these things to help make themselves more attractive to the opposite sex and don't spend any money or time making themselves a better lover. It's all part of the equation. Don't spend as much time working on attracting someone, working on keeping someone. You'll be much happier.

Jeff Abraham: 59:30

I will sum it up by telling you this. I'm talking about my own life and I'm talking about a lot of people I've talked to. When you feel that you're a competent sexual performer and that your partner is satisfied, you have an extra little jump in your step. You have more confidence, and I've always said this and I never figured it out until I was 45, 50, maybe 52 years old.

Jeff Abraham: 59:58

Every time that I wasn't in a relationship, it was hard to find a partner. I don't know if it's just error of desperation or people just sense that you're not happy, but every time I'm in a good, solid relationship and we're having great intimacy, it's like everybody that I couldn't attract before is coming on to me and I'm like what is going on here? And then it hit me. I'm like you're giving off that feeling. I'm confident, I'm happy, I'm satisfied. People want a part of that. When you're not, you're walking around, maybe with a quiet look of desperation or unhappiness. And there is something about that, that when you're happy and when you're satisfied and you're satisfying your partner and you're walking with that bounce in your step and you are confident, it's attractive to the opposite sex.

Annette Benedetti: 1:00:55

Yeah, but then keep that partner the grass isn't greener baby.

Jeff Abraham: 1:01:02

Don't fuck it up, yeah don't fuck it.

Jeff Abraham: 1:01:05

If you find the right partner and you are confident and happy and satisfied, hold on to that like it's the hope diamond, because then you find yourself without it and you're like what was I thinking? Yeah, yeah, it's hard to find and when you find it, cherish it and do everything you can to make sure that you maintain it. My son is 34 and he got married in July this year. I've never seen him happier. I adore his. My daughter-in-law I'm still getting used to calling her my daughter-in-law, you know because they weren't even engaged that long. It was like they dated for three and a half years, got engaged and like two months later, got married.

Jeff Abraham: 1:01:52

And I can just see that he's a better person. He's happy, he's in love, he's just. He's the best version of himself that I've ever seen. Nothing could make me happier and I've decided that I'm finding that for myself, because I haven't been in a relationship for close to a year now and I'm like I would rather be alone than be in the wrong relationship. Nothing is worse than being lonely in a relationship yeah, for sure. But I literally in the last couple of months said to myself I am going to find exactly what he has and I am never letting it go. I'm gonna cherish it, I'm gonna nourish it, you know, and I'm gonna hopefully write it out for the remainder of my time.

Annette Benedetti: 1:02:41

I love that Because it is.

Jeff Abraham: 1:02:42

It's your. You're your best version of yourself when you're happy and you're fulfilled and you're in a great relationship. Now you still got to do all the other things you have to do in your life, but that elevates everything to a higher plane. I know when I'm in a great relationship, I'm a better boss, I'm a better father, I'm a better friend, I'm a better brother, I'm a better everything 100%.

Annette Benedetti: 1:03:03

I love that.

Jeff Abraham: 1:03:04

Communicate.

Annette Benedetti: 1:03:05

Communicate. Thank you for the share and thank you for this conversation. I feel like-.

Jeff Abraham: 1:03:11

Oh, my pleasure.

Annette Benedetti: 1:03:13

It was great. Let's make sure everybody knows where to find you, where to get started on this journey with addressing their penis problems and having better sex and wwwpromescentcom and the funny part is there's articles and blogs on edging and prostate milking have nothing to do with our products.

Jeff Abraham: 1:03:37

We believe that we want to educate you. We want you to have the best sex of your life.

Annette Benedetti: 1:03:42

I'm excited to try some of the products and to share them with my listeners.

Jeff Abraham: 1:03:45

so they will be there shortly.

Annette Benedetti: 1:03:48

Thank you.

Jeff Abraham: 1:03:49

But stay in touch and I really want to hear from you. I'll send you all my contact info.

Annette Benedetti: 1:03:52

Yes, we will stay in touch and until next time, listener, I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers wwwpromescentcom.

Jeff Abraham: 1:04:02

Wwwpromescentcom.