While There’s been a spotlight on the clit in the sex-positive and pleasure-positive world for a while now, many still don’t know how to touch it in a way that will bring a woman to orgasm. In this episode, I walk you through 20 Techniques you can use to touch a clitoris that will bring a woman or person with a clit to orgasm. This episode is perfect for anyone with a clit, even those who may think their clit is too sensitive to be touched. Some of the techniques you'll be learning include: Tapping Orbiting Broadening The Hail Mary Pinching Layering Staging And more.
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Funfactory.com has partnered with Locker Room Talk & Shots so when you use my special code SELS20, you get 20% off your fun factory purchase. Just head to https://us.funfactory.com/and use my code SELS20 at check out for 20% off sex toys, lube massage oils, and more
While There’s been a spotlight on the clit in the sex-positive and pleasure-positive world for a while now, many still don’t know how to touch it in a way that will bring a woman to orgasm. In this episode, I walk you through 20 Techniques you can use to touch a clitoris that will bring a woman or person with a clit to orgasm. This episode is perfect for anyone with a clit, even those who may think their clit is too sensitive to be touched. Some of the techniques you'll be learning include: Tapping Orbiting Broadening The Hail Mary Pinching Layering Staging And more.
GET IN TOUCH WITH ME Subscribe to my e-newsletter: https://she-explores-life.ck.page/e9760c390c
Ask a question, Leave a Comment: https://www.speakpipe.com/LockerRoomTalkPodcast
Funfactory.com has partnered with Locker Room Talk & Shots so when you use my special code SELS20, you get 20% off your fun factory purchase. Just head to https://us.funfactory.com/and use my code SELS20 at check out for 20% off sex toys, lube massage oils, and more
do the sex. Welcome to Masturbation Monday with me, annette Benedetti, your host for Locker Room Talk and Chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Today's Masturbation Monday topic is 20 ways to touch and play with a clit that will make her beg for more and come really hard. I'm going beyond the basics, folks. Recently I have shared with you a guide to fingering. If you have not listened to that episode, scroll down. I'm going to link it below. I went in depth. I also shared with you how to give an incredible yoni, aka pussy, massage. I'm going to link that below as well, because you're going to want to refer to both of them Now.
Speaker 1:
The clitoris has gained a lot of attention recently in the women's sexual empowerment world, in the pleasure positive world and just in the sexual world, where people care more about their own pleasure and their partner's pleasure. And while there's been a spotlight on the clitoris and what it is and how to touch it and play with it in a way that brings about crazy orgasms. And today I'm going to go over 20 of those techniques with you so that you can use them to explore your own body or your partner's body and really change and upgrade your sex life. So let's get ready to talk about the clitoris and incredible orgasms, cheers. Now, before we get started, just to be clear, today we are talking about the glans clitoris and that's the part of the clitoris most of us know about. The glans clitoris is the most visible part of the clitoris most of us know about. The glans clitoris is the most visible part of the clitoris. It's located at the top of the vulva, it is right above the urethra and right below the pubic bone.
Speaker 1:
Now, if you are listening to this on my audio only podcast, you can go over to my visual podcast on YouTube. It's at Annette Benedetti, and I'm going to do my best with my hand and this little beautiful pearl earring to give you a visual representation of where the clit is before we get started. I would love to use better visual representation, but unfortunately YouTube can be a little bit picky about things like that. So my hand palm up, fingers down is going to represent the pubic bone, which is my palm, my fingers, my two fingers on the outside. My pointer finger and my pinky finger are the outer labia, my middle finger and my ring finger are the inner labia and the clitoris. Being this little pearl is right up here in between, at the top of the inner labia, right below the pubic bone. Now it has, in real life, a hood over it and then the urethra is right under it. The urethra, of course, is where we pee out of just making sure we're all on the same page. We are going to be talking about how to play with this little pearl today, so let's launch into my 20 tips. So the very first one is the same one that I talked about in the fingering video Take care of your hands first.
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Wash them, make sure your fingernails are clean and trimmed so there's no edges that are going to snag on her skin. The skin of the vulva, especially the clitoris itself, is super, super sensitive and it can get hurt very easily, like a little callus on your fingertip can make it raw in one rub. So take care of your hands in advance. A lot of women even say it's just a huge turn on when their person, whether man or woman, will go and wash their hands before they're going to play with their vulva and their clitoris specifically.
Speaker 1:
My second tip I also talk about all the time, but I'm going to mention it again here is get a good lube. So a good lube is different than just any lube. I know it's tempting to run down to the grocery store and grab KY jelly or Astro Glide. I implore you to go next level with your lube. The price is often not different at all, but the quality of lube is better. Some of those store brand lubes leave sticky residue or just disappear quickly when you are playing with a partner. If you have a high quality lube, it's going to last longer. It's going to feel so much sexier and better, especially on the clit.
Speaker 1:
So I'm going to give you a couple examples of lubes that you should consider getting. Wicked is a fantastic brand. It has every kind of lube that you could ever want, from a water-based lube to hybrid silicone and water-based lube, which is thicker and lasts longer. They also have a line of lubes for women who are 40 and up and may have a harder time getting lubricated, which is very cool. Fun Factory, which is, course, one of my favorite places to shop has a new lube out called still I think that's how you pronounce it Uh, uh, incredible. Lasts forever. Feels sexy on the skin. You can use my code S E L S 20 for 20% off of it. Another lube that I absolutely love comes in a big bottle. I use it all the time, especially when I'm using toys is gleam lube, uh, and you can get it at the thrustercom for 30% off with my code explores 30,.
Speaker 1:
Whatever you do, research your lubes. If you've signed up for my e-newsletter, I send out lots of information on great lubes to get. Keep them stocked up when you play with a clit. This is not something that's going to be done in two minutes. Women take, at minimum, 15, 16, 17 minutes to come at maximum. You could be in this game for a good half hour or more.
Speaker 1:
If you want to really get her off, it's going to require a lot of lube. Do not rely on cheap lubes or your spit. Also, don't use your saliva when playing with a woman's pussy without asking first. That's an extra tip right there.
Speaker 1:
Tip number three approach the pussy slowly. Don't just dive into an intimate experience with a woman by jamming your finger onto where you think her clitoris is, or even if you're looking right at it. Don't just go straight for the clitoris. Warm her up, starting with maybe her breasts or long, slow strokes over her belly, working your way down to her inner thighs, maybe her outer labia. First, really get her warmed up, take time, show attention, approach the clit slowly. If you go in hard when it's cold and she's not warmed up, those nerves are very sensitive and it could actually be painful to her. And once you have hurt the clit, she's likely to shut down and just be done with you all together. She's likely to shut down and just be done with you all together. Getting her excited again after that, that's a whole different chore. We'll have to do a video on that later.
Speaker 1:
Okay, while we are speaking about clitorises being super sensitive and getting hurt easily, some women and people with clitorises can't handle direct stimulation on the clit Well. So what do you do then? If the clit is the key to her orgasm? What do you do if she says it's too much or it hurts, or it's just overstimulating and she doesn't like her clit touched? There are solutions for that. So my next several tips are around indirect stimulation to the clit that will get her to orgasm.
Speaker 1:
The very first technique I want to talk about for people who cannot handle direct stimulation on their clit is layering. Layering is basically touching and playing with the clit through the layers of skin around it, being the hood, the inner labia and the outer labia and I'm going to break these down. One of the ways you can go about stimulating her clit without touching it directly is using the hood of the clit, touching it through the hood of the clit, so that's going to be located at the top of the pearl, right below the pubic bone, and you can just use that hood to rub it. The next technique you can use is using the inner labia to rub and excite the clitoris. Now, if you go back to my podcast on fingering, I talk about rolling and basically you use your fingers in a snapping position and you put it on either side of those inner lips and you move your fingers in a snapping motion and it rolls the flesh in between so you can take hold of those inner labia with the clit between them. Add pressure a little bit of a pinching, pressure them. Add pressure a little bit of a pinching pressure. Be careful, don't pinch too hard. Be in communication to see what feels good to her and what doesn't, and then do that snapping or rolling motion.
Speaker 1:
There's different ways you can play with the clit through the inner labia, but that's one way that's like a nice little massage and can get her very excited. Similarly, a nice little massage and can get her very excited. Similarly, you can actually start from the outside of the outer labia and sort of pinch them in and around it and massage it. Then those different layers of skin are going to massage the clit and it gives her this really yummy grinding sensation. Now you can also use these techniques on women who actually enjoy direct stimulation to the clit. This is a great way just to get her warmed up and ready for, and possibly asking for, more.
Speaker 1:
Another super effective way to stimulate the clitoris without touching it directly is orbiting. You're basically going to take your finger and you're going to move around the outside of the clit without ever going directly on it or over it, but you stimulate the skin that's all around it. So you're going to go over the hood down and around it. You may breeze by the use spot. Those circles can be bigger or smaller and closer to the exposed clit depending on her sensitivity and I would ask her for feedback. Again, I personally always suggest, when you want feedback, give her yes and no questions, because if you start asking her which direction do you want me to go, or how does this feel, then she gets out of her body and into her analytical mind, which really can pull her away from being orgasmic. I can't stand it when that happens to me, when I'm dropping into my body and trying to really feel, and someone asked me a question that requires an extended answer. So does this feel good? Would you like me to go closer to your clit? Would you like it farther away? Yes, no, yes, no, that keeps it sexy.
Speaker 1:
So now let's move into direct stimulation to the clit. My first tip is A you want to go slow and you want to explore and you want to experiment with pressure. Some women are going to prefer a lighter amount of pressure. Some women really like to have it rubbed hard. Do not start at rubbing really hard. A it can cause pain right off the bat and turn her off. And B it's just also really sexy to have that teasing soft feeling to start. So the next technique I want to talk about is called broadening, instead of using just your single fingertip, or even two fingertips to start exploring and touching the clitoris. Consider using three or four, even your palm, to stimulate the clitoris and get her warmed up. First of all, she's not going to be overstimulated with that pinpoint precision tip of your fingertip and it also allows her to see where things are feeling good. It's also a nice warming up technique.
Speaker 1:
The next technique I like to call the Hail Mary. I made that up myself. I'm an ex-Catholic school girl so it just made sense to me. The Hail Mary is doing the up and down and back and forth motion on the clitoris. So it looks a little bit like making the sign of the cross to me, truly an ex-Catholic school girl. Sorry, sorry for all you religious folks out there, but you're going to go up and down and then back and forth over the clitoris. It's like sort of your standard move on the clitoris it's up and down, back and forth.
Speaker 1:
The next technique to try and I actually really love this one because it can start really soft and build is tapping. So you can take one, two, three fingers, whatever, even four fingers, right over the clitoris and tap on it. Start with this little soft tapping motion and that can really build. And if you are into BDSM or light BDSM, it can turn into, you know, a little pussy spanking, which can be exciting to some people. Do not go to that without prior consent or prior conversation or unless she's communicating. I'd like it harder. Do you want it harder? Yes, do you want it harder? Yes, so that's tapping, aka spanking.
Speaker 1:
Another super sexy technique that you can use, either with your bare hands or with clothes on, is grinding, so you can take the palm of your hand over the top of the clitoris and grind or let her grind against you. You can also play with this in different positions. She can get on you and grind on your thigh. You can have clothes on and do some kind of dry humping and grinding. But for the sake of this conversation, we're going to say clothes are off and you're concentrating on the clit. You're just going to use your hand, your fingers, the pads of your fingers to grind against that clitoris. If she likes this one, guaranteed she'll start moving in sync with you.
Speaker 1:
So the next technique is pinching. Pinching. So you are going to pinch the clit. Now. We've talked about doing this through the hood, pretty much. We've talked about doing it through the labia minora and the labia majora, but you can also do this rolling and pinching right on the clit. Now, before you get into this, make sure a she's up for it and she's not someone who's too sensitive. B your fingers and her clit are covered in really thick, yummy lube to protect her from any rough spots you might have on your finger. But this can be very intense. So either you pinch and hold and just apply pressure, whatever kind of pressure she likes, or you pinch and you can do a little bit of a pulsing motion to let that blood flow in and out of the clit and really get her worked up.
Speaker 1:
Now another technique that you may have heard of and was popularized in a practice called orgasmic meditation is stimulating the upper left-hand quadrant of the clitoris. Now, according to some, this is one of the most sensitive areas of the clit. I haven't personally noticed that myself, but I will be honest and I haven't fully practiced orgasmic meditation. But you can go to that upper left hand quadrant of the clitoris and massage it specifically, and it may in and of itself bring her to orgasm. So we're to my 16th tip, and it's called accenting.
Speaker 1:
Some women find that there are certain places on their clit that just are more arousing to them and that when they are stimulating their clit, that applying more pressure to those areas feels better. So let's say you are orbiting around her clit and you get to one part of the clit and she likes it most there. You can orbit around lightly and when you get to that area, add pressure, orbit around, release a little bit so the touch is lighter as you move away from it and when you get to it, accent, touch in that extra sensitive area. You can do this with your up and down motion as well. If you are doing the Hail Mary and let's say you're just doing the up and down motion of the Hail Mary and you notice that at the top of her clit she's more excited when you go up and you come back down, accent, add pressure on the down swipe, lighten up, go back up and then accent more pressure on the down swipe. This also gives a varied sensation. It mixes up what you're feeling. You're getting some light whispery sensations and you're getting some deep grinding sensations when you do the accenting.
Speaker 1:
My 17th technique I think is one of the most important. It's called staging. I think it's one of the most important if you are in for the long haul and you want to give her an orgasm. Because, as I said at the beginning, this is not a one minute endeavor. This is going to happen over a period of time and staging is basically adhering to a woman's body changes as she gets more aroused. So what she may like in the warming up stage let's say some of the grinding stuff, the pinching of the outer labia, the inner labia isn't going to necessarily be what she wants as she starts to reach climax or gets closer to it. As she gets closer, she may want you to do orbiting, or she may want tapping, whatever it is. Whatever it is, you are going to want to follow that staging and learn how to, either on your own body or with a partner, change up what you're doing as she's getting closer and closer to orgasm. Sometimes you got to change it up and that's going to require some communication. If you are partnered or you're doing it to yourself and you're doing the thing and it's not getting you there, it gets you close but not over the edge. Maybe it's because you need to change it up and try something else that's more intense or less intense and gets you there. So that's what staging is. It's basically bringing together all of these different techniques and learning when and how to use them according to her stages of orgasmic excitement and, hopefully, satisfaction.
Speaker 1:
Techniques 18, 19, and 20 are about what you can use to stimulate the clit outside of your fingers, and I think it's super important to use how to use what you have first, meaning your fingers and your hands. They are going to be some of your best tools At least they should be but we're going to move on to other things. Obviously, you can do a lot of these things with your tongue and your mouth as well. A lot of them, these things, with your tongue and your mouth as well. A lot of them, most of them, actually, when I think about it. So you can up her excitement. If you've been doing all these techniques and she's really getting there, you can ask her if she'd like you to use your mouth and then take your mouth down there and do them again.
Speaker 1:
Number 19, toys. Remember toys are your friend. They are not in competition with you. There are a lot of amazing toys out there that are designed specifically for the clitoris If you've been using your finger for a while and she wants to try something else, or you want to try something else. Get a good vibrating toy or clit sucking toy, but in this case, using a vibrator to focus on discovering your clit can be really, really useful.
Speaker 1:
Number 20, other body parts. So you can also stimulate the clitoris with other body parts If you are in a partnered situation. Like I said earlier, you can grind against a thigh. You can, if you're partnered, grind against another vulva. If your partner is a man or has a penis, the penis can be used to do a lot of these techniques. You can actually use the tip of the penis to do some orbiting, to do the Hail Mary, and the awesome thing about this is then both of you are getting pleasure out of it and in some cases, you both may be brought to orgasm without ever experiencing penetration.
Speaker 1:
So those are my 20 tips. If you have a question about them, a comment, one you think I missed I want you to let me know If you're on my YouTube channel, think I missed. I want you to let me know if you're on my YouTube channel. Just drop a comment below the video and I will check it out and look at adding it to my list. You can also email me at Annette at she explores lifecom. I hope these 20 tips help you in your exploration of your own clitoris, in your exploration of your partner's clitoris, and that you all get to start enjoying more orgasms tonight. So until next time I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.