Do you want to have better sex with your partner? Connect on a deeper level? Do you want to awaken your sensuality, and experience more pleasure? Or are you looking to process emotions and heal from trauma and grief? If so, receiving a Yoni Massage (AKA pussy massage) might be exactly what you need. In this episode, I walk listeners through what a Yoni massage is, how people can benefit from giving and receiving one, and how to give one.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
What a Yoni Massage is
Why someone might want to experience one
How to give a Yoni massage to someone
How to give yourself a Yoni massage
Before you listen to this episode, make sure to check out my 15 Techniques for Fingering a Woman Here. https://youtu.be/UZKc9m_6zrE
I refer to some of the techniques throughout the episode!
Funfactory.com has partnered with Locker Room Talk & Shots so when you use my special code SELS20, you get 20% off your fun factory purchase. Just head to https://us.funfactory.com/and use my code SELS20 at check out for 20% off sex toys, lube massage oils, and more
Do you want to have better sex with your partner? Connect on a deeper level? Do you want to awaken your sensuality, and experience more pleasure? Or are you looking to process emotions and heal from trauma and grief? If so, receiving a Yoni Massage (AKA pussy massage) might be exactly what you need. In this episode, I walk listeners through what a Yoni massage is, how people can benefit from giving and receiving one, and how to give one.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
What a Yoni Massage is
Why someone might want to experience one
How to give a Yoni massage to someone
How to give yourself a Yoni massage
Before you listen to this episode, make sure to check out my 15 Techniques for Fingering a Woman Here. https://youtu.be/UZKc9m_6zrE
I refer to some of the techniques throughout the episode!
Funfactory.com has partnered with Locker Room Talk & Shots so when you use my special code SELS20, you get 20% off your fun factory purchase. Just head to https://us.funfactory.com/and use my code SELS20 at check out for 20% off sex toys, lube massage oils, and more
do the sex. Welcome to Masturbation Monday with me, annette Benedetti, your host for Locker Room Talk and Chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Today's Masturbation Monday topic is how to give a yoni massage, aka a pussy massage, and of course, I'm going to explain why you want to give it to someone else or yourself and what the benefits are. Last week, I shared 15 techniques for fingering a woman or someone with a vulva. That episode is going to be super crucial to this episode, so make sure to go back and watch it. Preferably, if you are someone who is just listening to my audio podcast, go to my YouTube channel at Annette Benedetti, because I do some visual representations, if you will, of what you're supposed to do when fingering a woman and doing it well. But today I'm going to be talking about giving a yoni massage either to somebody else or to yourself, and of course, I want to start with why you'd want to do it at all. I personally embarked on learning how to give myself a yoni massage for therapeutic reasons. Over the last couple of years, as I've gone on my own pleasure practice journey, I discovered that masturbation, and orgasms in particular, are powerful tools for processing difficult emotions and healing. A yoni massage, which is different than just fingering myself or being fingered, offers a really cool opportunity to connect with challenging feelings, painful feelings like grief, loss, anger and fear, and then to process them and start to heal. For me, learning how to give myself a yoni massage has added a new powerful tool in my quest to process my own feelings of grief, loss and sadness. Over the last couple of months, and in discovering the benefits of this practice the powerful pussy massage I wanted to share the practice with you. Whether you're wanting to start your own personal pleasure practice or just wanting to connect more deeply with your partner, or maybe you want to become just a mind-blowing lover, this episode and this practice is for you. So let's jump in. I'm going to tell you what a yoni massage is, why you might want to do it, and then we're going to walk through how to do it with a partner and how to do it to yourself Cheers. So let's dive right in.
Speaker 1:
The yoni massage is rooted in tantra practices. It focuses on massaging the woman's vulva, vagina and surrounding areas with the goal of fostering relaxation, pleasure, inner peace, healing and connection through deep connection with another person or with the self. The yoni massage practice focuses on mindfulness, consent, connection. It also focuses on exploring erogenous zones, but the purpose isn't necessarily to have an end goal of an orgasm. I mean, an orgasm is great, but that's not actually the goal of the yoni massage. It's all of these other things I've just told you about. Orgasm often happens, but again, not the focus of the practice and it's not going to be the focus of what I talk about, as I share with you how to create your own yoni practice. Let's talk about why someone wants to embark on learning to give themselves or someone else a yoni massage.
Speaker 1:
Number one enhance sensation and pleasure. Many women struggle to really experience pleasure through sensual touch and yoni massages help women connect with their own body, learn to explore their pleasure and hopefully eventually enjoy orgasms. Number two my primary reason emotional release and healing. As I said in my intro to this podcast, a yoni massage is a great way to get in touch with feelings, emotions that you're struggling with, and release them and start to heal. Number three is one of the most popular reasons for wanting to learn to give someone else a yoni massage. It enhances connection with your partner. It can deepen your relationship with your partner. Yoni massage really focuses on learning to communicate, consent, learning to connect on a much deeper level. Number four exploring sensuality and pleasure. Yoni massages give someone who's doing it to themselves or with a partner an opportunity to really start to discover the different pleasure areas in their vulva and vagina and different ways that they can become aroused, have an orgasm and even maintain an orgasmic state. Number five, one of my favorites stress reduction and relaxation. A yoni massage is a great way to end the day, especially if you have a hard time going to sleep and relaxing. It is going to give you all the benefits that orgasms do in helping you let down and reach a truly deep, relaxed state.
Speaker 1:
Okay, let's dive into just how to do the yoni massage. So I want to start with how to give someone else a yoni massage first. Then we'll talk about how you can do a yoni massage on yourself. The first thing you're going to do when you embark on giving someone else a yoni massage is. You're going to set the scene. You are going to find the perfect place to have a yoni massage and to give a yoni massage, a place that has a comfortable place to lay so it could be in a bed with a lot of beautiful fluffy pillows so that you can get comfortable. I do suggest having lots of pillows to prop yourself up on and support you both as you do yoni massage, because this is not something you do in like two minutes. This is, you know, an extensive practice. You are going to adjust the lighting. Maybe you're going to light candles. If you want some sort of scent, relaxing scent, you'll have scented candles, or maybe you'll burn incense. But you're going to set the scene something sexy, something relaxing.
Speaker 1:
Once the scene is set and you're together, you are going to do a consent conversation. So you're going to talk about what's okay to do, what's not okay to do, what kind of touches she wants to experience, what kind of touches aren't okay. If there's areas of her vulva or vagina she wants you to stay away from, you're going to honor those. It's a full consent conversation. You are going to come up with safe words, meaning if at some point during the yoni massage she needs to stop, or wants you to slow down or back out the yoni massage she needs to stop, or wants you to slow down or back out. You're going to create those words. You can do the red, yellow, green sort of stop late, safe word process. I like that because we just automatically have what that means embedded into our minds. So reacting to those words and saying those words can be really easy. You don't have to think hard. It's not going to totally take you out of the moment.
Speaker 1:
The next thing you're going to do is get body oil, lube all of it body safe, all of it pH balanced for her vagina and vulva. We don't want to give her a yeast infection or BV by using the wrong product. And you're going to be using a lot of it, so make sure you have plenty of it nearby. So you've got the scene set. You've talked about consent. You know where she wants you to go. You know where she doesn't want you to go. You are armed with lube and oil. What comes next? You set it all aside and you get present with each other.
Speaker 1:
Now there are different ways that people like to do this. It can start by sitting, sort of like I am cross-legged face to face. You can stare deeply into each other's eyes. If that's uncomfortable because it can be you can close your eyes and breathe together. Some people like to put one hand on each other's hearts and connect physically that way and feel each other's breathing as they are sitting together. If that's too much or awkward at first, you can just hold hands or put your hands on each other's knees and just begin to create that physical connection and the energetic connection through breath, through touch and shared energy. So once you've created this connection and you're in this safe space, you can go ahead and progress to intimate touch, and I'm going to walk you through what that can look like.
Speaker 1:
First, we want to make sure that she's comfortable. If she is laying all the way back and her legs are open, you may want to prop pillows underneath each knee so that she's not using her muscles to hold her legs open. Her job is to be completely relaxed and comfortable. She can be sitting up a little bit more with her knees butterfly to open Again. Have pillows and soft things, maybe bolsters, around to hold her body in place for you so she can relax. Now there are many places. You can start with a yoni massage, but I think a wonderful place to start can either be with her breasts or her stomach, and you can just start using long, slow strokes there, creating the connection, and then work your way down to her vulva.
Speaker 1:
Now this is a great time to go back to the 15 techniques of fingering that I taught you, and one of the techniques I talked about was circling, where you can use circular strokes, large or small. If you're starting at the stomach, they're going to be a little bit bigger as you work your way down to her vulva. Once you are at her vulva, you're going to stop the motion and you are going to use the cupping technique that I talked about to hold your hand over her vulva, and you're going to start with that. When you get to the vulva, we stop the motion and we create the connection between your hand and her vulva and just let her adjust to it. Once she has warmed to your hand over her vulva, I want you to go back to the fingering technique episode that I shared with you, where I talked about cupping. What you can start doing then is start moving your hand in small, circular motions. You can also flatten it more, so that now there's pressure on her clitoral area as well. From there you can start making long strokes Again. You can use some of that circling motion and you can go from her upper vulva area to her inner thighs and then work your way in to the outer labia first, and then the inner labia. You can get your thumbs involved. Don't forget to include the perineum area quote taint as well. That is part of this whole yoni area.
Speaker 1:
Then you can start pulling out some of the fingering techniques that I shared with you. So the rolling technique is a great massage technique and I went through it in the fingering technique podcast. But you kind of use your fingers in a snapping position and you roll the labia skin between it and give it a nice massage, and you can work your way around the labia. You can do this over the hood of the clitoris gently. You can also get the clitoris involved in this and build arousal. Other fingering techniques that you can use that I've talked about are the tugging and pulling. Again, this is very gentle. Think of it as a massage. This is not something hard we're doing. We are not fucking and banging. We are giving a mindful massage to someone with a vulva.
Speaker 1:
From there we're going to work inside the vagina, and here is where it really differs from fingering. You are going to first of all ask consent before you enter her vagina Make sure that's the head space she's in and she's ready to be entered. And you are going to enter very shallowly at first, one finger and you're going to hold it and press it, add some pressure and hold. Then you're going to do the same kind of hold and pressure movement all the way around the vaginal opening and give her an opportunity to be relaxed and open up. After you've done a full circle around just this vaginal opening of adding pressure and then releasing, moving to the next area adding pressure and releasing, moving to the next area adding pressure and releasing you can ask her if she wants you to move deeper and you can repeat the exact same motion more deeply inside of her. Once you've done this in the shallow regions of her vagina and also a little bit more deeply, you can begin to move more quickly. So at this point you can switch it up, you can add in the come hither motion and massage the G spot. You can pull out of her vagina and go back up to the vulva area and do some more of the circling motions and then enter her again and build the arousal, possibly to orgasm.
Speaker 1:
You can use some of the more quote traditional fingering techniques. Again, go back to that episode. I list a lot of different ways to finger a woman properly and how to reach the appropriate spots. Now this can go on for as long as you both want it to. I would suggest that it lasts at least 10 to 15 minutes, if not more, preferably more. Women actually take much longer to orgasm 20 plus minutes.
Speaker 1:
But once you're done whether that's because of an orgasm or because you're just done she has had enough and is ready to rest. And one of the most crucial things for you to remember is to not just stop. Don't just pull your hand out and be done. If you're in her and she orgasms, or you're in her and she says, okay, I am overstimulated, I want to stop. Now You're going to slowly pull your fingers outside of her. If you're already on the outside, um, massaging her vulva, you're just going to stop that motion and you're going to go back to cupping and holding your hand over her vulva and this is going to sort of keep the connection between you, allow her body and her nervous system to start to come down while still connecting with you, and then, once she's sort of gotten to a place of stillness the two of you have, you, can remove your hand.
Speaker 1:
At that point, that is not the end of the yoni massage practice. We have to talk about aftercare. Of course, a yoni massage can be, when it's done with someone else, a very intense practice, and so both people need to talk about aftercare. Do you want to lay together and cuddle? Maybe you need to go and have water nearby and have some water together, or tea. Maybe you need to get up and go do something. But the aftercare is a crucial part of the yoni massage, especially when you're in a partnered situation, because that's an intense connection that you've created and intense connection that you've shared, and it's not, you know. You don't want to just break it at the end and be like, hey, high five, that was awesome. You want to really get the most out of the practice as possible. So now let's talk about how a woman or a person with a vulva can give themselves a solo yoni massage. Yes, we can have our best partner be us. That has been my practice and it's been amazing. So let's go through the steps. They're very similar to steps with a partner, except a little less complicated because you're just doing it with you.
Speaker 1:
You're going to set the scene just like you would with a partner Find a beautiful, comfortable place to get mindful and get ready to receive pleasure. I obviously have tons of pillows. I love lots of soft material. I make sure that I'm comfortable and that my legs are fully supported, especially when I'm in the butterfly position. If not, my hips will start to ache, and that is not what we're aiming for in this practice.
Speaker 1:
The second thing you're going to do is set your intention. If you are using this for emotional release, if there is something challenging that you're working through, you're going to focus on that feeling. You're going to focus on that experience and connect with it, and that can be something that's uncomfortable and not pleasurable. It can be something that's painful, but we're going to take time to connect with it. The next thing we're going to do is we're going to get mindful.
Speaker 1:
I like to start with placing a cupped hand over my vulva. So I start with cupping and I close my eyes and I get really still inside. I focus on my intention. I know what it is that I want to process and I think about it, breathe deeply and I hold a cupped hand over my vulva. From there, I do the same things with myself that I would with someone else. So I start with slow circular motions and I work them through my inner thighs and I work in from my outer labia to my inner labia and I do the exact same things that I talked about with a partner with myself.
Speaker 1:
Where this can get difficult for a woman who's doing this practice with herself is when it comes to entering yourself and applying pressure around the circumference of your vagina. It's a little bit more difficult because of your limited position, and this is where you can use a vibrator or a dildo to help. I suggest using a glass dildo with no vibration. This is not about using vibrators. Vibration can really take you out of this connected place that you're trying to cultivate and this place of stillness. So one of my favorite tools is a glass wand, and it makes it much easier to apply the pressure around my vaginal opening and then to go deeper, and in some instances I think it just really allows you to go much deeper than you could with a pair of fingers. So for people listening who want to do this with a partner. Having a glass wand can be wonderful for you to use in a yoni massage if your partner's comfortable with it.
Speaker 1:
Now, some of you know that glass can be very cold at first, so you can warm it up in advance with your own hand so it warms to body temperature before you use it. If that is something that will be disruptive, if the cold will be disruptive to the practice From there, you proceed as you would if you were doing it to someone else, right? So then you can start using that, come hither, motion on yourself. You can go back to the outside of your yoni, uh, pussy and back in. I prefer the word pussy. That's just me and my personality, but yoni is the typical word used for this practice.
Speaker 1:
And again, once you are done, do not just stop, especially because oftentimes when a yoni massage does culminate in an orgasm and you are doing this practice for processing emotions it can oftentimes end in tears, in a grief release which can be jarring. I know for me still there are times when my yoni practice ends in that kind of release. It's jarring because it's so intense. It is a core release experience. It is a cleansing, a soul cleansing an emotional cleansing that can be incredibly intense and jarring to your whole being. So once that's happened, it's really important to hold yourself and to be present with yourself and to be gentle with yourself and let that subside fully. Don't try and stop it, don't try to hold it back, um, and then sit with yourself and breathe deeply, hold your hand cupped over your vulva, just like you would with a partner or you would want a partner to do with you.
Speaker 1:
Again, aftercare is important. Do you want to stay in bed? Do you want to go and take a warm shower or a warm bath? Whatever it is, make sure your own aftercare for yourself is in place. And that, folks, is how you embark on giving and receiving and giving to yourself a yoni massage. So, if you have any questions, comments, do you have a different practice when it comes to a yoni massage? If you take this practice and you try it with your partner on yourself, I would love to hear what your experience is and how you feel about it. So if you want to get in touch with me, you know how to do that. You can email me at Annette at SheExploresLifecom. If you're on my YouTube channel, you can drop a comment below. I do go through my comments and try to respond to as many as possible. I hope you enjoy and it brings you the peace, the release and the connection that it has me. So until next time I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers Ring loop.