Top 10 BDSM Play Ideas for Newbies! With Dominatrix Lucy

If you’ve been thinking about exploring BDSM, but aren’t sure where to start, or if you’ve dabbled, but want to next-level your exploration, this is the podcast episode for you. Dominatrix Lucy joins me to share 10 ways you can explore BDSM and add a whole bunch of spice to your sex life. This list of 10 play ideas is designed to help you explore different types of BDSM play with options to expand and go deeper into experiences you enjoy.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:49

Do the sex Think fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy. One female orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's locker room talk and shots topic is 10 types of play for BDSM newbies with dominatrix Lucy. If you have been listening to my podcast for any time now, chances are you have heard a podcast with dominatrix Lucy. She has led us through most all of our BDSM episodes beautifully and gained a little bit of a following.

Speaker 1: 1:31

Now, before we go any further, I want to encourage you, if you are a listener, to go to my YouTube channel. The handle is at Annette Benedetti. That's Annette Benedetti, and the reason why you're going to want to do that is today's episode is going to involve a lot of objects, toys, visual aids, and I will, of course, do my best to describe them as we show them so that listeners get the full idea. You are definitely going to want to go and check out some of the things that you can get for yourself that will allow you to fully immerse yourself in the newbie BDSM experience, and so please go ahead and do that. Also, scroll down. You are going to find a link to the YouTube channel, my e-newsletter so I can send you lots of sexy tips and information. You can subscribe to my newsletter as well. Now, before we go on any further, lucy, can you tell the listeners just a little bit about you and throw out some of the past episodes they should go to to get to know you better.

Speaker 2: 2:48

Right. So hi everybody, lucy here, yet again, thank you so much for having me and, yeah, I have been on quite a few episodes. We did Chastity, we did Bucket List for New Year's, we did Locktober, we did Toys, toys, toys and many, many more.

Speaker 1: 3:04

So check them out Right. One of my favorite that I'm going to encourage my listeners and viewers to check out right now is our 2024 sex bucket list, because we gave you tons of great ideas for sexy things to do to spice up your life this year and you're going to want to check them out if you are wanting to, you know, next level your sex life. But let's not waste any time. I am ready to dive into the top types of play and activities for BDSM newbies. Raise your glasses. We're having coffee and water Healthy like that. Yep, too early, too early. Let's get ready to talk about BDSM Cheers, cheers.

Speaker 1: 3:45

The first thing you need to do and it is more of an activity, but it certainly can be a turn on is you need to go over and fill out a BDSM contract with your partner. Now we have one here that Lucy has brought. It is a full on book and the lovely thing about it and look, there's also ones online and if you sign up for my e-newsletter, then that will be sent to you. A link to that will be sent to you. But the cool thing about this is you are not only going to have an opportunity to learn about all of the activities that are out there.

Speaker 1: 4:24

Some of them may shock you and freak you out. You got to remember you don't have to do them if you don't want to, but they also may feed your creativity. But filling this out with your partner. Basically it's going to be a yes, no, maybe list where you're going to go through this together or separately and then exchange and then you get to talk about it, which can be a real turn on, and you're going to see the different types of BDSM play opportunities out there. You each get to do your yes, no and maybes exchange and then sit down together and go through them.

Speaker 2: 5:02

Yeah, absolutely, and it's super helpful because obviously, no matter how good your imagination is, it's not as good as some other people. So, having kind of a document you can refer to, at least you don't have to actually fill it out, you can just give it a read and then just have a discussion about it to make sure you're all on the same page and reading the same book Very important so you can begin your BDSM journey. Yep, yeah.

Speaker 1: 5:33

And just reading. Well, it can be very erotic. Just knowing the other person, your person is like looking through these things I have done this in the past with somebody and then exchanging them and talking about them. It's kind of like sex talk. It's definitely sex talk.

Speaker 2: 5:50

Absolutely. And, of course, if something shocks you on their list, be kind. Everybody's different, everybody has their own little things. And if it's a hard no for you, make sure you're advocating for yourself and saying, hey, I can see you're kind of interested in this, but this is a super hard no for me, so we will not be doing that, right, right.

Speaker 1: 6:12

And to keep it sexy and a positive experience, make sure you don't shame any, don't yuck anyone's yam and don't get upset when someone says no. This is a great beginning space to build communication. The cool thing about this contract is you can revisit it down the line and your contract may change as you try things. You may be like oh, this was hard, no, before. It's just become a maybe, and that can be exciting to see your progression with your partner For sure Over time. So let's move on to number two, pre-negotiating language and honorifics. So this is a space where you're going to talk about the language you're going to want to try out during sex.

Speaker 2: 6:57

For sure. So these are the good times to decide. Do you want to be called a queen or a master or a madam? This is my, just for people, um to know. Madam, it is madam lisi. I like that one um as well as um, I guess, daddy, mommy, I, that would be another um, she does not like daddy and mommy.

Speaker 1: 7:25

She can barely even say it here.

Speaker 2: 7:28

So those are honorifics.

Speaker 1: 7:29

So for male identifying people, maybe they like daddy or mister or master. Those are some honorifics and the fun thing that you can do together is just start trying them out in bedroom situations, maybe not while you're fully, like don't jump into, like spanking and all that stuff and then trying to use them, but like just during your vanilla sex. If you're moving from the vanilla world, trying out master, trying out daddy how does it feel? I can say daddy, real easy. I can say daddy real easy. No problem over here, mommy would never work for me.

Speaker 2: 8:16

Anyways. But yes, those are honorifics right, yes they are and pick one or several that fuck boy or fuck toy. Those are also something you can be called in a sexy time situation. They don't have to be appraising.

Speaker 1: 8:53

You can also decide do you want to be called good girl, good boy, bad boy, slut, cum, slut like all of there's, all those uh different words. Some people want to be called a dirty whore. I I don't, not my thing, not that that matters, but just you can just start pre-negotiating before you get in bed. Do not jump into bed, start yelling slut at your partner.

Speaker 2: 9:16

Don't do it, trust me. I have had someone do that before.

Speaker 1: 9:20

I've definitely several times. Throughout my love life, my sex life, my banging life, I've just been having a great time and then had someone called me a random, mean degrading name, not at all ready for it.

Speaker 2: 9:35

Instantly lost sex drive Instantly and you're just like and I'm done, thank you. I was just like what?

Speaker 1: 9:40

the fuck did you? Yeah, it ended, it ended, it definitely ended.

Speaker 2: 9:44

A couple of connections For sure, yeah, don't do that. I oh sure, yeah, don't do that. I mean, unless you want to get kicked out of bed, then totally do that.

Speaker 1: 9:50

Maybe that's your kink, maybe it is, it could be, maybe you just want everything to stop instantaneously. Yeah, maybe you want to be rejected. That could be your kink.

Speaker 2: 9:58

Totally fine, yep, that will do it. Yeah, I mean, let your freak flag fly, it's super okay.

Speaker 1: 10:06

Right, so we've cleared that up. Sit down with your partner ahead of time. Maybe write out the ones you're interested in. You guys can be like this is also a yes, no, maybe like hard no thing. Maybe you're like for Lucy. If someone's like, hey, I'd like to call you mommy She'd be like no. Yeah, no. So you want to pre-negotiate that? Then take off the clothes, get into bed and give it a go. Absolutely, that could be fun funny, you know lots of things.

Speaker 1: 10:37

Our next one is explore, sensation play. This is like very beginner level, like let's figure out what kind of touch and sensation you are into. And this is where we have some visual aids. Visual aids this, if you are listening right now, it's like a head scratcher.

Speaker 2: 11:01

Basically, it is a head scratcher in fact it's not's like a new sensation you can introduce, so it's a good one, especially if you use a blindfold. That's our next visual aid.

Speaker 1: 11:16

Right, so we've got blindfolds. I've got one right here, so a red. This looks like a sleeping mask. This is an easy and inexpensive one to get and use. If you go to lovehoneycom, you can find these all over the place. You can use my code EXPLORES15 and get 15% off these kinds of products.

Speaker 2: 11:41

They're real cheap, that's great, yeah, so sensation play. It's also enhanced with a blindfold, because then you're not focusing on visual things, you are just focusing on what you're feeling.

Speaker 1: 11:53

And let's talk about this head scratcher. If you look at it, it's very delicate. And the thing is, when we were talking about sensation play, people automatically think pain. But that's not what we're doing here. We're figuring out what kind of sensation lights up the person you're with or lights you up. You may think one thing, but when you get an opportunity to try different objects, you may be like oh, the thing that actually gets me closer to orgasm or gets me more aroused is totally different. So this isn't painful, it's actually more of a sensual sensation.

Speaker 2: 12:32

So if this is something, Don't start with the pain stuffs.

Speaker 1: 12:36

That's a good piece of advice.

Speaker 2: 12:37

Go with gentler things. One other thing we have. This is one of the. This is a Wharton wheel. Thank you, but it's also not very painful, it's just a little.

Speaker 1: 12:47

So if you don't know, for listeners, what a Wharton wheel is, it looks like a pizza cutter, a small one with spikes on it. So this is what you could use to see how you like more of a pain sensation, a pokey pain sensation. There are different types of sensual sensations. There are different types of pain sensations. The Wharton wheel is a great introduction. So when someone is blindfolded, you could, you know, just run it up and down their arm so that they could see, or thigh, or thigh, or over their breast, their boobies, whatever you would explore with this sensation For sure.

Speaker 2: 13:27

So another thing you can do is hot and cold play. Grab some ice cubes from your freezer and then you can just run those over your partner's body. A hot one can be like a massage candle. Ooh, matchmaker.

Speaker 1: 13:44

Yeah, so this, actually this massage candle is yeah. Well, not only is this massage candle, which is made by Eye of Love, it's called Matchmaker perfect for heating up, and then, you know, you can drip it on your partner's body, you can let it cool to whatever level they're comfortable with. It's also infused with pheromones and designed to enhance your libido, make you feel more attracted to one another. I have used their perfumes and I am telling you right now I buy into it all, Like it's been very effective. I wear the perfume every day, but any kind of massage candle, right?

Speaker 2: 14:28

Right, or massage oil as well, like it doesn't have to be warm. That's a very nice sensation as well to have to perform on your partner.

Speaker 1: 14:37

Another sensation toy I have is this small flogger. Now, before you think of flogger that seems big, this thing is actually very soft. It's made out of. It has little minute kind of almost the size of like thick strands of hair made out of silicone, and so it does not hurt, regardless of how hard you smack it on someone. It may be a little stingy, but it's not. It won't elicit a lot of pain. But it is again sort of the introduction to that kind of impact play and I love this because you can use this very small flogger all over the body. It's great to use on the breasts. If you enjoy sensation on your breasts, it's fantastic. You can use it lightly on a penis. You can use it on the labia Be careful around the clitoris, but I've enjoyed that as well inside of thighs, which can be really delicate. So this one is fantastic.

Speaker 1: 15:45

One other toy I want to introduce, as you are exploring sensation is. There is a company called Dia and I think it's dialovecom. I'll have to look that up and I can send it to you in an e-newsletter. When it comes to sensation play, they have several toys. One toy she brought up heat and cold. They actually have a, basically a dildo that you can turn cold and you can turn hot by pushing buttons, which is really cool.

Speaker 1: 16:17

But I want to bring out this toy which is fantastic for sensation play, and it is this it looks like a feather and it vibrates. So it is a silicone, blue feather type toy. It vibrates and then you can slap it as well. You can use it for slapping so you get a little sting, or it has vibration to it so you could just run it up and down your arm or your body, as Lucy is doing to me right now. If you're on YouTube, you can see that To explore a variety of sensations. This is one of my favorite sensation toys. Again, I can send you a link to this in the e-newsletter if you scroll down and subscribe.

Speaker 2: 17:05

But some other quick, obvious sensation tools feathers ticklers, silk scarves, anything that you like the fabric of or like fake fur. Very nice for sensation stuff.

Speaker 1: 17:20

And don't forget, you've got your own body, so you can use your fingernails down someone's back. You can tickle them, you can bite lightly, lightly. You've got your hands. You can do chomp. No, don't chomp, but I gosh, I hate. I don't know how many times I've had that happen to me. Spanking lightly, you know, you can do a little slappy, slappy with your hand, little sloppy, sloppy with your hand, gently, gently, uh, gently. But this is sensation play. This is not impact play. This is just figuring out what kinds of sensations you like, and it's fun to do it with, first blindfolded, and then down the road you can add restraints, but we're not there. Number four.

Speaker 2: 18:07

All right, so number four. Here we are, another kind of moving on from sensation play. Collaring is a good way to go for a submissive type situation if you wish to explore, so you can put a collar on your submissive, whoever they are.

Speaker 1: 18:27

I've got a collar right here that I personally hate on my own body, but you can see, and it comes with a leash, so there's a little control, but you don't have to start with a collar like this one.

Speaker 1: 18:42

If you're listening, this is a kind of I don't know if it's actual. I think it is actual leather. It's very thick, so it's going to cover a lot of your neck. It has a metal loophole attached to it that you can clamp on or attach your leash to, and then a black leather leash. So this is a pretty you know, with a buckle on back. This is a pretty sturdy big collar.

Speaker 2: 19:12

But you can start with. This is another type of collar. It's just, it's a velvet strap velvet strap, yeah and then it has like little loops where you can use it as a collar. Then make sure your loop is tight so it doesn't accidentally choke your companion yeah, you don't want to choke anybody here.

Speaker 1: 19:29

You got to be careful with collars because you don't want to end up strangling someone, which, on this note, you should always have a pair of safety scissors nearby or a way to quickly release someone. Another good intro to collars there's jewelry out there that you can get, even if you're not ready to have a leash attached to a collar. Sometimes just wearing a collar is sort of sexy and exciting to people dipping their toe into the BDSM world.

Speaker 1: 20:05

And there are cute, more jewelry type collars that you can wear that maybe have you know the way you attach them. They have a locking mechanism so that the jewelry stays on, your partner can keep the key. You can't take off the necklace or you know, sometimes it's like it looks like a little ribbon type collar. You've probably seen them Just doing that and wearing that out in public can be a rush because it signifies to the world that you are owned by someone and for the person who has the key to the jewelry, you can send pictures of yourself to them while you're out wearing it, letting them know that everybody knows you are owned by someone. So that would be like exciting, some exciting beginner coloring play.

Speaker 2: 20:56

All right. Next one outfits and role play. It kind of comes nicely from the coloring situation. Since you already are colored, now you can find a fun outfit to wear, and it can be anything from corsets or latex or leather, whatever is making you feel the sexiest. It can be just lingerie or it can be completely naked. You can also go with random things, like we have this fuck toy tattoo.

Speaker 1: 21:45

Fuck toy tattoo. If you prefer the nakedness, you can just slap some slut tattoos, mistress tattoos, on't done a lot of real role play and I don't have a lot of outfits. This is an area of my sex life that maybe at some point I will explore, but can you talk about some great like? So for someone like me, what do you think some good intro outfits and role play scenarios would be?

Speaker 2: 22:08

outfits- and role play scenarios would be. So some of the simplest things to do, I think, in outfits is just getting whatever lingerie you have available, be it a corset Hopefully everybody owns a corset. You should, Everybody should own a corset Just for fun times. Fishnets work fabulously, especially if it's like a fishnet bodysuit. I think those are always very sexy and then you can start with. So you have your outfit on, and a good way to start kind of like a submissive, dominant role is have your submissive companion wait for you when you are coming home from work or a bar or wherever you were, and one of my favorites is when they sit on their kind of on their knees and wait for me when I show up with a collar and a leash so I can grab them and take them to the bedroom and kind of do all the sexy stuff.

Speaker 1: 24:00

Oh, there you go, folks, yeah, yeah. And so there are also outfits.

Speaker 2: 24:05

I know some people are into the maid outfit yes, maid outfit yes, and can also, so you can have the fishnets or your if it's a male companion or you can also have the maid outfit.

Speaker 2: 24:19

If you wear this up, a naked apron super easy. You don't even have to buy anything I'm sure there's an apron somewhere in your house Almost everybody owns one and have your companion Significant other being an apron naked or some nice role playing would be them. If you enjoy domestic chore role play, they can be doing some dishes for you and then you can come over and fondle them lovingly.

Speaker 1: 24:44

Take note domestic chore. Role play is a thing. So if you are someone who either has a partner who you know would get off on you doing chores for them and you want to get kinky, this might be a good suggestion. Say, hey, I've been wanting to get into a little bit of kinkiness, I'll do some chores.

Speaker 2: 25:05

And then you can have a little bit of like the same flogger. You can give them a little sensation. Play on their butt or their thighs gently while they're doing this tour for you.

Speaker 1: 25:17

You could do. Sexy school teacher. Get a sexy school teacher outfit.

Speaker 2: 25:23

Or if you're into the teacher outfit not a school girl outfit or a school boy outfit you can be a teacher with a ruler and make them write lines for you. That's a great idea.

Speaker 1: 25:35

Yeah, so you could be either the teacher or the school person.

Speaker 2: 25:41

Yeah, and have a strict teacher telling you to write lines something fabulously inappropriate Over and over again, over and over again.

Speaker 1: 25:50

Yeah, so there are some outfit ideas and some role play ideas. A great place again to find outfits that are not expensive and I think definitely when you're first getting into this, into any BDSM thing, you want to obviously buy things that aren't going to break the bank right off the bat to see if you like it.

Speaker 1: 26:12

So again, lovehoneycom you can go and they have a whole like lingerie costume section, completely reasonable and affordable for most all folks. Again, I have a discount code, it's explores 15 that gets you 15% off, but don't you know again, and you can also just find things around the house, like Lucy said For sure.

Speaker 2: 26:38

Yet again, I feel like everybody kind of owns a pair of fishnets somewhere in their house. They exist and also, especially, fishnets are great because at some point, if you do wish to just tear them off, whoever the companion is that they're wearing, but if you do wish to just tear them off, whoever the companion is that they're wearing, it's very easy to do and they are like usually $3 or $5. So you're not wasting too much. Yeah, you don't have too much time.

Speaker 1: 27:00

We want to save you money. We do want to save you money.

Speaker 2: 27:16

And then other outfits like. Another thing I do I enjoy is black light and glow-in-the-dark paints. Yes, those are fun. My whole house is. I have like a string of black lights that I can turn on and it's much fun, um, and then you can just draw on your companion and then that can be like a sexy thing you do, and then you can take them to the shower and they can be the dirty little gentleman, woman, whoever, little boy and then you can wash it off or have them or them draw on you and then they wash it off. It's like a service type thing that they provide.

Speaker 1: 27:42

All right. We are moving on to number six, which is intro to restraints. Some restraint play. How are we going to start that, lucy?

Speaker 2: 27:52

I think I mean restraints, yet restraint play. How are we going to start that? Let me see, I think I mean restraints yet again. Whatever you got silk scarf.

Speaker 1: 27:58

I would highly recommend I have handcuffs that are Velcro release so they attach to each other. They attach to other things, but they are Velcro and so they are soft on the wrists and if someone is in them and wants to get out right away, getting them off is not a big deal.

Speaker 2: 28:25

They come off super super fast, which can make someone feel safer.

Speaker 1: 28:28

It's a safety thing. If you start out with handcuffs, you've got to have the key. They're metal.

Speaker 2: 28:34

It could be rough on someone's wrist could be painful. Yeah, I feel like handcuffs are one of the less sexy things. If you're doing restraints. The leather ones are always much better and they are usually pretty easy to take off and whatnot. Another restraint thing I enjoy is the tape.

Speaker 1: 28:53

You can see it if you are on YouTube. It's not tape like duct tape, it's like latex. It's a latex tape. Look, in fact you can see she's wrapping it around my arm. It doesn't stick to my skin at all, but it does stick to itself, which is really useful.

Speaker 2: 29:12

If you have to get it off fast, make sure to have safety scissors are great and they are also reasonably cheap, so you can have a couple rolls around the house and you can attach and then just cut it off and throw it on its way and then you know, move along with your stuff. Another restraint thing is obviously rope, and rope can be restrained. You can restrain somebody to something and be safe, and then also you can do it in a decorative way. But that is more of like a shibari thing, yeah.

Speaker 1: 29:44

Also. Just, I think we both agree that rope is definitely a little bit more advanced if you're going to tie someone up to something, if you don't know how to tie knots knots and you need to get them out fast. Scissors yeah you're going to have to cut the rope and then that can get expensive. But you can definitely use rope. Just always have safety scissors on hand.

Speaker 2: 30:06

Always Visibly where you can see them and grab them pretty quickly. But yeah, if you're doing more of a decorative rope situation, then you don't necessarily need to cut anybody out of anything. But, yes, be mindful, it can be dangerous. So, just you know, be as safe as possible. We don't want anyone to get injured 100%.

Speaker 1: 30:26

So restraints, that's how you're going to get your intro to them. Get some Velcro handcuffs. Get that latex tape is amazing. It's an amazing way to start because you can attach it to anything. You got some rope on hand you know, whatever you've got around the house, you've got ties, you've got belts.

Speaker 2: 30:46

Silk scarves whatever it is Okay. The next one, and it would be a little bit of chastity play, and we're not going to be doing the full on cage your partner situation, because that's a little more advanced. But you can also play just without any restraint. That can be a verbal command. Verbal command, it can be just an honor based system where you are hopefully and it kind of comes into role playing as well you can use your companion in a sexy way, but just do not use their penis or their vagina.

Speaker 1: 31:22

Tell them you can fuck me, but you can't use your penis. You have to use a toy. A toy.

Speaker 2: 31:31

Yes, your hands, your face Right.

Speaker 1: 31:34

Your penis does not get touched tonight, they'll get excited. Or maybe, if they make it through a whole night of play and they don't touch themselves or they follow your rule, then the payoff at the end of the evening is they get released, but you aren't putting a cage on it yet. Evening as they get released, but you aren't putting a cage on it yet. This is your opportunity to just see what it's like to have control over your partner's cock or for them to not have control of what happens to their cock and to have to use other things to please and serve you. For sure, you can use underwear as what would be the cock cage. Yeah, exactly, the cheap chastity cage. That's a good way just to dip your toe in the water and to see how you both like that kind of play. Then, if you like that, you can start with. There are actually cages that don't lock that. You can just pull over the cock silicone cages and you can kind of start that way with.

Speaker 1: 32:38

Back to our Chastity podcast. You can go on YouTube to my Chastity playlist and you're going to find all of the Chastity episodes there. Number eight yes.

Speaker 2: 33:05

Number eight voyeurism. This is when you are observing some sex happening or being observed while you are having the sex. So a good way, also coming from the chastity situation, would be to have your companion in chastity, be it just underwear, or if you're fancy enough to have a cage, that is also great, and you can just observe them masturbate. For you that is a good way to kind of dip your toe into that and see if you're enjoying the observation. Or the other way around do you enjoy being observed in that kind of scenario? So that can be a starting out point and then after that, yet again, the sky's the limit. You can start there with watching your partner, and then you can go to a sex club and watch some people have sex or have people watch you have sex. They do have usually rooms in there that have a glass wall where people do observe one way or another, and then I mean after that you can invite other friends to have sex with you or observe your companion have sex with someone else, just whatever you want.

Speaker 1: 35:11

Another thing that can be really sexually arousing if you have been doing some role play and you enjoy the dom sub dynamic is to have the dom just order you to open your legs and show your vagina to them, your pussy to them, yeah, or your penis, whatever your equipment is, or you know your breasts or whatever it is being told to do that on command.

Speaker 2: 35:38

that's a very sexy thing to do as well, and then they can also keep going and say stroke it or, you know, pinch a nipple or whatever. It is Just kind of giving you instruction on what you need to do next without them actually touching you, which is also kind of exciting. And then also coming back into role playing, if, uh, you do go out of town, for work, for example, you can make it that I mean that obviously becomes you can't touch each other at that point. But you can have a video call and have like a video sex situation where you can both masturbate on um different sides of the camera and then observe each other.

Speaker 1: 36:20

There you go and then you'll figure out if voyeurism is your thing. Number nine butt stuff. It's definitely. It comes into BDS and play often now and a lot of vanilla. People already dabble in butt stuff. I have lots of podcasts on butt play or that talk about butt play.

Speaker 1: 36:43

I have an intro to butt play. We just did an intro to pegging that you can check out. Now you don't have to jump in with pegging, but you can start with A finger, a finger in the butt. You know that's a good place to start with everybody to see if that's something you're into. Then you can graduate to a tiny butt plug.

Speaker 2: 37:06

Usually they come in like reasonably soft, so they're easy to kind of maneuver and work with. And then lube is your friend. So make sure you're not injuring anyone.

Speaker 1: 37:17

Lube is definitely your friend. This butt plug right here I have a full review on. You can go to my sex toy review list on YouTube. And this is Fun Factory's Booty Femme. Now, this one is interesting because it is specifically made for vulva and vagina owners. Specifically made for vulva and vagina owners. It is made so that on one end the handle that sticks out. If you are listening right now, it's small. This is a small silicone, super soft butt plug. It's kind of shaped like a tulip and the handle on one end is short and that goes towards the vaginal opening and so when you put this butt plug in, that handle will not cover your vagina, so you can also have penetration while having this in. And Fun Factory you can use my discount, which is S-E-L-S 20, for 20% off all of Fun Factory products, but the Booty Femme.

Speaker 1: 38:24

If we're talking about butt plug, they have several butt plugs that are kind of fun. This weighted one you can see it's much bigger. This is like moving up and butt play. It has basically rattles inside of, so when it's went in you and moving, you can feel extra stimulation. If you are listening, it's a bigger. I don't know how many inches that is and well, I'm not sure, either two or three inches long with two bulbs on it, so it's it's a bigger and it can be used on. You'll notice, though, it does not have the shortened handle on the one end for the vagina, but there are lots of butt plugs you can experiment with.

Speaker 1: 39:09

The one that I'm holding up now is a glass butt plug. I love glass and I love glass butt plugs. So this is the small one out of a set of, I think, three that get much, much bigger. If you like to integrate the hot-cold play. They start out cold, really cold. I like cold. Hot doesn't do much for me. Glass is good for that because it holds temperature and then, of course, it warms once it's in your body. Holds temperature and then, of course, it warms once it's in your body, but then from the butt plugs and finger, you can move up to the pegging.

Speaker 2: 39:48

Yay so, but also butt sex for the women as well. Yeah, it's not pegging just, but yeah, you can. It's any direction it can go. Everybody has a butt. Number two thinking and impact play. Start with your hands so you know how it feels, and then graduate on to other things, like her spanking spoon, Spanking spoon.

Speaker 1: 40:07

She has a spanking spoon that says let's hold it up to the camera. It says the spanking spoon. It is a traditional wooden spoon, like the kind that you probably got spanked with as a child, which.

Speaker 2: 40:22

I feel like there was no consent there.

Speaker 1: 40:25

Maybe being spanked as a kid wasn't good, but whatever we're talking about, we're using it now. That's where this all came from.

Speaker 2: 40:31

Don't use it in cooking at that point After you've spanked.

Speaker 1: 40:34

Don't put it in the food, but I have some. We also have, well obviously, the light little flogger that I showed you before, but I also have a full-sized flogger here that has silicone, I believe, or pleather. This is pleather yeah, I don't know. It has pleather.

Speaker 2: 40:54

Also nice, very on the gentler side, for impact type play.

Speaker 1: 41:00

Yeah, this one's not super painful, it's nice medium.

Speaker 2: 41:03

Yeah, definitely start with less painful things and then you graduate if you are enjoying the pain more. So Remember you have to also kind of stimulate your partner when you are doing this, so they are still excited and it's not just the pain, it's a little bit of pain and the pleasure, and then you can graduate too.

Speaker 1: 41:21

So this is my introductory paddle. You're going to find it everywhere, at every store. It's kind of like par for the course paddle and on one side, so it looks like a paddle.

Speaker 1: 41:35

It's covered with a pleather for sure. One side is just flat and normal. The other side has these pseudo kind of metal ridges, kind of spikes, but they aren't really spikes. But I will tell you one thing Getting spanked on the side without the little metal additives is far less painful than using the side with spike. So you start out soft. Guys, I've said this a million times on this podcast and I'm going to say it again Do not go in striking someone new to impact play at 100. You start at one and you work up and you see what level of pain brings them pleasure, because this is about pleasure, yeah.

Speaker 1: 42:23

You're trying to have fun not hurt somebody, not hurt somebody in a way that's traumatizing to them. But yeah, this is definitely a great way to experiment with. Like, what sensations do you want to experience in in impact play and spanking? People think that spanking is all one sensation, but it isn't. There are lots of different things to try, from your hand to a wooden spoon, to a flogger uh, to paddle brush, hairbrush, flogging also.

Speaker 2: 42:53

It's not um. I mean that those are. Since they are so much more gentle, you can use them on the back. Be obviously mindful of any organs that can be damaged. Kidneys are important. Don't damage them.

Speaker 1: 43:07

Yeah, we're starting at ground zero and it's supposed to be fun, I think. 10 fantastic ways to launch into the BDSM world and start figuring out what's exciting for you, what you want to do more of, what you aren't into, and we would love to get your feedback on these 10 ideas and if you try them, how does it go? We love to hear from you. The best way to interact with us is going to be going to the youtube channel dropping your comment below the video. You can also email me at annette at she explores lifecom.

Speaker 1: 43:49

Also, if you scroll down, you're going to see a link to my speak pipe which gives you the opportunity to record a voice recording and send it to me with your thoughts, questions and comments. You get a short period of time to do that, but please do that, and then Lucy will join me to answer some of your questions and we will have a Q and a playlist up on YouTube. So, guys, thank you for joining us. We will be back for more and until then, we'll see you in the locker room. Cheers, cheers, ring loop.