Truth About Vagina Size. Too Loose or Tight? What Size is Just Right?

Unlock the truth about vaginal dimensions and their influence on sexual fulfillment with the guidance of Dr. Milhouse, a renowned urologist in female pelvic medicine. Prepare to have your misconceptions challenged and your understanding deepened, as we illuminate the adaptive nature of the vagina, much akin to its male counterpart during arousal. This episode promises an empowering education, complete with the technical know-how from Dr. Milhouse from Down There Urology).
This episode covers the following topics:
What is the average size? Can too much sex make a woman loose? Is there such a thing as too tight? What are other conditions that can affect size? Do toys ruin vaginas?
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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:28

Hi, this is Annette Vinedetti, your hostess for a locker room talk and chocks, the podcast that likes to think of itself as the queer NPR of raunchy women's sex talk. You are about to sit in on the kind of conversations women have on their girls' nights out or behind closed doors, while enjoying delicious drinks and dishing about sex, think, fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with a goal of fighting the patriarchy, one orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room.

Speaker 2: 1:08

Today's locker room talk and shots topic is the truth about vagina size and sexual function. The doctor weighs in Now. Ever since I dropped my episode on the truth about sex with small penises and then followed it up last week with my guest today on how to make your penis bigger, I have been bombarded with one question over and over again, which is what about vagina size? What about sex with vagina size? I have listened and, as someone with a vagina and someone who also has sex with vaginas, I do have some experience. Folks, I have experienced sex with vaginas. I am also interested in some of the answers to this question. I have my opinions, of course, but I thought I would bring some integrity to this conversation and have a professional, a doctor, someone who you know has real facts when it comes to the questions you keep asking. So my guest today was with me last week as we talked about penis enlargement. If you have not watched that, please scroll back to last week and get to know her there.

Speaker 2: 2:21

But her name is Dr Finwa Milhouse. She is a board certified, fellowship trained urologist and the co-founder of Down their Urology. She specializes in female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery. Dr Milhouse treats all adult individuals, with a focus on the treatment of sexual dysfunction, urinary incontinence, pelvic organ prolapse, labia majora surgery, g-spot amplification, obviously also penile enlargement and so much more. Dr Milhouse is a distinguished recipient of the 2023 Healthcare Impact Award by TopDocs and she was named top urologist in Chicago in 2023 by women in medicine, so you know you're getting the best info here. Dr Milhouse, will you take a moment to reintroduce or introduce yourself for the first time to listeners?

Speaker 3: 3:19

Yes, it's great to be back with you, annette, and my name is Dr Finwa Milhouse For those who don't know. I'm your favorite urologist. I am very vocal about all things down there genitals, penises and vaginas alike. I am the owner of the Down their Urology practice, co-founder and co-owner in Chicago. I'm a board certified urologist, as Annette has mentioned, and I'm fellowship trained in reconstructive surgery female pelvic medicine, so I very much know my way around all sorts of alphas and all sorts of vaginas.

Speaker 2: 4:05

All right, are you ready to talk? And I do want to say, before we get to the end now, when we get to the end, you're going to get all of her social handles. She has a robust social and online education platform. So you are going to want to stay for those handles and then go and follow her, because if you are really curious about all things down there as I am you are going to want to be getting solid information. There's a lot of bad information out there, so make sure to stay to the end, not only to find out all about vaginas, but so that you know exactly where to follow.

Speaker 2: 4:42

Dr Milhouse, I am drinking emergency tonight because I've had a cold. I'm hydrating, all right, we're having a healthy evening of drinks. I've had a cold, I've got a cold, so I've got extra raspy, sexy voice. Right, I'm ready. Let's talk about vaginas. Cheers, wait, long distance clink. I'm just going to launch right into the main question of the hour. What is the average if there is one vaginal, not only length, but I guess it would be like a diameter, right With? Yeah.

Speaker 3: 5:25

Okay. So when we talk about vaginal size, much like when we talk about penis size, we have to first understand that the vagina is dynamic. Okay, it is one size when it is not aroused. Okay, and it is, and this is a fact that a lot of people don't know. But it changes, okay. So it's just like the penis gets longer and wider. Well, our vaginas get longer, elongates, so there's different sizes depending on the state.

Speaker 3: 5:56

So there have been studies that looked at the average vaginal depth. We kind of think of it as more depth, but you can think about the length basically from, like the doorway, the odentroides, to the cervix, because that's kind of where the vagina ends. Actually, there's a little part of the vagina that goes behind the cervix, but most of these studies included from the vagina to the cervix. And when the vagina is not aroused, the average length is about 2.5 to 3.5 inches. When the vagina is aroused, it can elongate, it should elongate, that's normal.

Speaker 3: 6:34

We have rugae or mucosaur. The lining of the vagina is lined with these rugae, and rugae are wonderful, they allow for lubrication. They also allow for the vagina to be elastic, okay, and so when the vagina is aroused, that length can potentially double, and we the. And lengths can be anywhere between 4.5 to 7, 7 plus inches in depth, okay. As far as width goes, the average width is about 2 inches, okay. And again, the vagina allows for accommodation with arousal, allows for the pelvic floor muscles we are supposed to relax and so that width can also accommodate and allow for penetration. I eat penis and increase that width size as well. So those are the numbers.

Speaker 2: 7:36

All right, I'm going to point out a couple of things you said that I feel like listeners, and especially people with penises, men, should note when aroused we get bigger, we get longer. And let me just be clear because in my experience and I have talked about this on this podcast having sex with a person with a vagina, I always know when I'm doing something right, because the vagina will open, like the vaginal canal will get wider, like I'll feel it open and I'm like, yes, I'm doing something right. And a lot of what I think has brought us to this conversation is oftentimes, well, the conversation about penis size and me trying to reassure men that women and you and I talked about the fact that we aren't so much concerned about penis size as men are. You know the responses often well, what about loose vaginas and we're going to get to that topic. Or about big, wide vaginas, and I'm like I don't know, whenever I feel a vagina get wider, I feel like it's a sign to me, or deeper, that I'm doing something right, like that's a good thing.

Speaker 2: 8:55

Guys, in my experience, and you did kind of verify that by saying when aroused, the vagina gets bigger, just like the dick gets bigger, right?

Speaker 3: 9:07

Yeah, I mean. We want a vagina that can relax. We want a vagina that elongates. View. It's not comfortable if the pelvic floor surrounding the vagina is tightening. That's pain. That doesn't that's pain for us. It's not comfortable. It's. That's why penetration when you're not aroused is very different. When you're not aroused and you get penetrated, it hurts. It's not comfortable. You're aroused, very aroused. You can accommodate a lot more than you thought could possibly. It was possible. So physiologic.

Speaker 2: 9:46

So you have just confirmed what I've been trying to get across. There is this idea that the tight vagina is the good vagina, is the good sex, and I hope, as this conversation continues, we'll be able to talk about this tightness a little bit more. In my mind, a super tight vagina I have struggled with that earlier in my life is not an indicator of things are going well in bed or that she's enjoying sex. Necessarily. It's not in my mind, like oh, tight equals good. It's like tight equals either lack of arousal or a condition or being like in a bad mental state with what's going on, and maybe you can confirm that later. And to me, when there's like relaxation and excitement and expansion, that's a good thing, which some men might be like oh she's loose, maybe she's excited. And instead of like making it a bad thing, you could be like yeah, yeah, that's great, I got her to do that.

Speaker 3: 11:01

I don't, I think thank you for being able to articulate this, but yes, it's physiologic and we're so conditioned to this tightness and, you know, heagaling to death. And we have more people I feel more Volvo owners, vaginal owners that are so tight and can't relax and have painful sex than we have, the people that are, oh, you're too loose and it's a problem sexually, like that's a minority, ok, compared to the droves of vagina owners that have issues with being too tight, can't relax, can't accommodate penetration.

Speaker 2: 11:51

Thank you for saying that. Another thing I want to ask you about is, as we're talking about, oh so, two inches in width is the average, but I've never personally penetrated a vagina that wasn't like closed at the. You know what I mean. Like what does that even mean? Because they all close at the opening. You know what I mean.

Speaker 3: 12:12

Yeah, so the width is not the same width the whole length of the vagina. Ok, the vagina is widest at what we consider the top, like closest to the cervix. Ok, that's where the vagina if you've ever seen like diagrams of the woman's pelvis, you'll see that they make the vagina like almost like flare as it goes upward towards the cervix. So the widest part is the closest part to the cervix, what we call the proximal vagina. The narrowest part is at the opening, or the entroitus. I like to tell patients, look at your vulva like the door OK, it's like the door to your home. And then when you get in the door, the entroitus, you see how spacious this place is. Ok, that's the vagina. The entroitus, that's the opening. Ok, the opening is the tightest part, and the inside. And so when I say two inches, it's a very much an average, because if we measured your vagina, my vagina, at the entroitus, in the middle, at the top, we're going to get two, three different widths.

Speaker 2: 13:27

Oh, interesting, fascinating. All right, did not know, did not know. So there you go, guys, that's a lot of information for you. This is not, I guess, just as with Dick, it is different at the base, the middle to the tip and, although not exactly the same, but you get what I'm saying, they're all different in different places. So, ok, there you go, you've got your answers, folks. Average size. I will say this, and I'm curious about who comes to you with questions or concerns.

Speaker 2: 14:08

I have never sat around with my girlfriends and obviously I sit and I talk with women about sex and our bodies a lot. One kind of difference and why my podcast started out with the truth about sex with small penises is because penis size just gets brought up so much by men and penis owners, especially with intimate partners, so much concern around it. I cannot remember even one conversation in a group of my girlfriends where any of us were concerned about our vagina size. I mean, the only time maybe that has come up in conversation is like, oh, what's going to happen after I push during pregnancy? And like, oh God, how is this going to work and is it going to damage me? But you get through that and you're like no, it's fine, but it's not the same concern for us.

Speaker 2: 15:02

The only time that I've heard concern from women is when it's too tight and painful and you just don't want to have sex anymore because it's like this is awful. It's awful every time he tries to push inside me and it hurts and it ruins the relationship. Now, is that in line with what you see as a doctor? Are there a lot of women that come in worried about being loose because I have yet to have a girlfriend say anything to me about that?

Speaker 3: 16:17

Oh yeah, there's definitely women that come in worried about being loose. Definitely, that's definitely a thing. That is a potential concern, dare I say insecurity, for some. The most common scenario are women who have had, who given birth, which, admittedly, pregnancy, delivery, can change your pelvic floor and can change your opening, the entroitus, and change your vulva and your vagina. So this isn't automatic. You'll be surprised, but a lot of vaginas snap back, if you will. I mean, vaginas are designed to snap back. That's why I'm kind of retouring, but that is why I hate this myth. Too much sex doesn't loosen a vagina. Okay, like it's. It doesn't do that, okay, all right, it's designed to accommodate. So what is happening is a woman who can be more easily aroused is probably going to get wider and longer quicker. You see what I'm saying. It's not that it's changing the actual, the actual vagina in and of itself just because there's a, there's so much penis going in. You see what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 17:40

So that is it's because she's a sexual goddess.

Speaker 1: 17:44

She is a sexual goddess.

Speaker 3: 17:47

Yes, okay so, but having a baby can change your vagina. You can have a, you can. You might suffer from your the inside of your vagina kind of falling down or inside out bulging out. You may notice that the opening of your vagina is wider because the area between the area between the bottom of your vagina and the anus can get closer together or narrower, so like there's less space or less area in the, in the perineum, or what you'd all refer to as the taint, and and so those are the changes that can lead to, you know, not feeling as secure about one's body or potentially feeling just less pressure during. So because some women are like, hey, I feel looser because things changed, and I don't like that feeling. I want to, you know, I like, I want to feel more. Those are a little bit more legitimate if we see those, those changes to the vagina, but that is not. That is again the minority compared to the vulvas and vaginas that we treat for that are too tight.

Speaker 2: 19:15

Right. So what you're saying is having children and having those results isn't super common.

Speaker 3: 19:23

Yes, I mean the more correct. The longer your delivery, that's more likely to have problems that change your vagina. The more children that you have, especially more vaginal birds that you have, so every additional vaginal birth increases those risks. So those are certain things that can increase the risk of kind of loosening your vagina for for which is not a medical term, but yes, what we're referring to.

Speaker 2: 19:52

I, so I'm going to share a little personal something. I've had three children, and all vaginally, and prior to having children I could not enjoy penetrative sex. It took until I had. After my second child, I started to feel something like during sex. I I never understood why people liked penetration Like I, just not. I didn't understand it and I didn't want to say anything because I, you know.

Speaker 2: 20:18

I wanted to be a sexy, cool woman. After my second child vaginal birth, I was like, oh wait, a second, I think this is it started feeling good after my third child and these were just small changes, but it was the first time I ever like felt a pleasure from, from penetrative sex and I I believe it's because it did it like from having those vaginal births it like it must have made me somewhat looser, thank God, and it was like for me it's been nothing but a blessing and it took three and large children. I had nine, nine plus pound babies, so I don't know.

Speaker 3: 21:03

I mean there there's absolutely such a thing as too too, too, too tight, you know, and again, or penetration, that can definitely be a problem Because you can. You can have a too tight vagina and penetration not be possible. You can have the quote unquote loosest vagina on the world, but you, but that person is still sexually active and can and and can deal with penetration and can get pleasure. So that's the thing is like one of these, one of one of these aspects on the spectrum is can really get in the way of sex. The other one usually doesn't get in the way of sex. It may feel a little different, but it doesn't get in the way. Yeah, yeah, and in your case it felt better.

Speaker 2: 21:51

Yeah, yeah, I'm so, so pleased and you know, I feel, I feel fortunate, because I don't think if I had had no children, I don't think I would enjoy sex as much as I do today. For sure, absolutely not. So there's that. So you have named childbirth as one thing that can affect the vaginal side. Are there other conditions that can affect vagina size?

Speaker 3: 22:19

Yeah, I mean rare connective tissue diseases. Connective tissues are all over our body. They are what bridge, like our muscles to bone, and bridge other parts of our body. They what they're what support organs and different compartments. And so there are rare connective they're rare disorders that affect connective tissue. One example is something called Ehlers-Danlos, which affects the connective tissue, and they those individuals that have vulvas are at higher risk of pelvic floor issues like prolapse. So prolapse is where the vagina is herniating in itself, and so the part of the vagina where the that it's supposed to be inside the, it's coming outside, okay, or descending down, or organs like the bladder or the uterus or the rectum are coming out, and so an individual like that may have never been pregnant, never had any kids, and have issues with a wider vagina and vagina problems. That's the biggest. I mean that's the biggest disorder.

Speaker 3: 23:36

The other thing is chronic, chronic things like chronic constipation, chronic weight, like heavy weightlifting, chronic smoking. So, smokers, smoking is a double-edged sword on your vagina, triple-edged. It's all bad. It's all bad what smoking does to your vagina, but it can lead to a chronic cough and that chronic cough puts a lot of strain on your pelvic floor and that's like and that wears your pelvic floor down and can and increases the risk of again prolapse through your vagina. It also decreases blood flow to your vagina and clitoris so you may have difficulty with arousal and orgasm as a smoker and it can, and it weakens the connective tissue as well. So smoking, chronic cough, again, chronic constipation, that's not treated, heavy weightlifting all of these things put pressure, heavy pressure on the pelvic floor and can increase the risk. Wow.

Speaker 2: 24:37

All right, I'm like cagaled up over here. Oh I one of. I think every woman's biggest fear is the whole prolapse thing, especially being after birth. That's a holy shit. All right, let me recover for a second. Let's One advice.

Speaker 3: 24:54

Yes, I would give like because I like to lift weights. I think weightlifting is essential. I think all of all humans should incorporate either weightlifting or resistance training in their workout. It does the body wonders. Pure cardio is actually can lower testosterone. It can. It doesn't really help your metabolism, whereas weightlifting or resistance can boost your metabolism, boost your testosterone, boost your libido. But when you, when we lift weights, we tend to hold our breath and that is actually making it more pressure or pelvic floor See. So try to remember, when you're lifting the weight on up, exhale, and that can potentially decrease the force that your pelvic floor is saying.

Speaker 2: 25:38

I will be exhaling like a motherfucker every time I lift. I love lifting weights. What misconceptions are there out there about vaginal looseness or tightness and sex, specifically in the conversation around sexual satisfaction, compatibility and pleasure? Can you address those?

Speaker 3: 25:59

The biggest myth I come across is, again, like I was saying, that sex to whatever, too much sex or excessive penetration can loosen the vagina. I've come across male patients who are like, yeah, I think my wife is cheating on me because her vagina feels looser. And I'm like, sir, that's not, that's not a thing. Okay, so that is by far the biggest myth. Other myths is that, you know, is the whole kegling to death? Okay, so we have sold kegels as like the thing to keep a vagina tight and right. And if you talk to any pelvic floor physical therapist, a urogynecologist specialist like me, we will say that kegels have their place, but too many kegels can be bad. Okay, and so it. We don't want you trying to lift weights in your vagina generally, like, we don't really like those things. We don't want you to be kegling all day long. Your pelvic floor was designed to contract and to relax and the relaxation part is important for the three P's to pee, to poop and to experience pleasure and penetration.

Speaker 3: 27:37

Those three times. Your pelvic floor should be relaxed Okay, and not tight. That's why we don't want you practicing kegels while you're actually peeing. We don't want you to practice while you're peeing, because you're supposed to be peeing, your pelvic floor is supposed to be relaxed. If you always practice while you're peeing, your pelvic floor is going to get conditioned to contract while you pee. That could lead to you not peeing effectively. That could lead to problems where you feel like you have difficulty peeing because now it's a subconscious thing that your pelvic floor is doing so. You know the getting back to you need the. You need the proper coordination of your pelvic floor, both contraction and relaxation.

Speaker 2: 28:23

Well, right, and so this probably also carries over during sex, because I know a lot of times women feel like, oh, I'm going to kegel while he's inside me, so he, you know it makes him feel good if I'm doing. You know that's sort of a compliment or whatever. But what you really need to do to have pleasure is to relax, like tightening up probably isn't going to get you to the orgasm.

Speaker 3: 28:51

No, it's not going to get you to orgasm. I mean kegling during sex, may you know. You know it's okay as long as you're not forcefully kegling the whole time. I mean you should be relaxed. That's what's going to like you said, that is what's going to get you to orgasm. That contact with that upper wall of the vagina, the contact with the clitoris, that is all part of what gets women to orgasm 90 plus percent of the time.

Speaker 2: 29:19

Yeah, I was always wondering when I was having sex with women. No one ever talked about that expansion happening inside. I've never had had. I read, and I still, to this day, haven't really read much about how.

Speaker 2: 29:33

And sometimes there is a profound moment with a woman where it must just be like the pleasure turned on and this massive expansion. I can feel it happening and I'm it's crazy. It is so crazy and exciting and it's like, oh, wow, this. And then I'm always like wait, why do that? And I can never, you know, I can't tell on myself, Unfortunately, yeah, but I knew just instinctually that meant I was doing something good. And then I wondered, because when men are being like you know, unfortunately and I do think most men who watch my channel, at least, who message me, are genuinely looking to learn more, to increase pleasure with their partners. But you know, you get the nasty comments about oh, and then she got so loose and I'm like dude, you're being a dick. That's like a great sign. You know, like I believe, and you have now confirmed that that's a great sign and maybe, instead of being bolder and mean about it, you should be like oh, this means we're in sync and something's going well.

Speaker 3: 30:40

So, yes, I mean you're like. This is why we have an orgasm gap. You know it is the biggest gap. I don't want to poo poo my penis owners. I'm a heterosexual woman and I love penis penetration very, very, very much married, but anyway I had. The biggest gap is between heterosexual women and heterosexual men. When a penis is involved, the vagina owner is less likely to orgasm. I'd say, looked at a study, looked at like heterosexual men and women, homosexual men and women and bisexual men and women, and who got the most orgasms? Men, whether they were heterosexual, homosexual, homosexual. I don't know if they looked at bisexual men. I know they looked at bisexual women, but heterosexual and homosexual men are top. Who's the lowest? Heterosexual women? It was like 60 something percent versus like their 90 something percent. Lesbians were like 88 percent. They were doing pretty good, not bad, they're doing pretty good. Bisexual women were like 70 percent.

Speaker 2: 31:56

I'm a bi woman. I'm a bi woman and I'll tell you what it's been really interesting experiencing, like you know, sex with all kinds of genders, but definitely vulva owners and penis owners, and then like seeing what they're doing and I'm just like y'all you got. A lot of people are mixed up here. A lot of people are mixed up here.

Speaker 3: 32:25

Instructions. We don't come with that. We need these sex instructions like legit. Yeah, sex does not come with instructions and it needs to, because I do believe.

Speaker 2: 32:34

I do believe that there are plenty of men and penis owners that really do want to pleasure a woman and there's just a lot of really bad infer like the whole loose thing out there, however, let's so now we should focus on. We've talked about penis size and men, you know, feeling really self conscious about it, and, of course, the backlash is well, it's not my penis size, it's her loose vagina that causes the problem. How do we? This whole thing is a mess. In my mind. As a bisexual woman, I feel like the answer is it's neither a penis problem nor a vagina problem. It's a knowing how to have sex problem and knowing how to Right.

Speaker 2: 33:24

And regardless of what you have, if you understand how the other person receives pleasure, you can make it happen with some body part and time and toys and toys. So answer this question, because another myth I hear out there again and again is toys ruin a vagina, toys make the vagina big and loose, toys desensitize the vagina. I hear it all of the time. Can you speak to that?

Speaker 3: 33:55

Sure, yes, I hear that all the time. The toys desensitize the clitoris or vagina. Okay, so what again? Studies have shown women who use a toy vibrator, women who masturbate, women who use a vibrator actually more likely to orgasm.

Speaker 2: 34:19

Why more orgasming all the time they're?

Speaker 3: 34:22

actually more likely to orgasm during sex. They're actually more likely to orgasm during sex. They report greater sexual satisfaction. Yep, Yep, Using toys can allow a Volvo owner to see what feels good to you, what type of pressure, what places, what and when. You and again, we don't come with it's drug, Again we don't come with instructions, and especially us Volvo owners that are just on the receiving end of sex. We, some of us, don't know what feels good and that and that's. That's okay, but we can do something about it, Okay. So so studies have shown that those that masturbate, those that use vibrators, are more likely to achieve orgasm.

Speaker 3: 35:10

It is an additive to partnered sex. It adds to that the desessentation thing. If you put the same sensation on the same area for a very long time, you can get temporarily desensitized where it's like okay, now I don't feel it. Like, think about it. It's like, you know, I don't have my wedding ring on, but like you put your wedding ring on the first time, you feel it, you feel it, you feel it, and then you don't feel it. Okay, you get temporarily, can get temporarily desensitized, and most the average vibrator user isn't doing what I'm saying. I'm talking consistent, same-waste, persistent stimulation, okay, and so even in that case, a temporary desensitization doesn't result in a permanent desensitization. Okay, we don't have evidence of permanent sensory loss or damage of any kind from using a vibrator for pleasure, masturbation or whatnot.

Speaker 2: 36:25

Period, just period, putting a period in that, because I, like you had your awakening after three kids.

Speaker 3: 36:33

My awakening was I had an awakening after I started incorporating vibrators, for personally, you know, I masturbated, but not with vibrators before that. And then I started and I was kind of this is years and years and years ago. And then I started using vibrators and I'm like whoa, this is cool, I like it and I can orgasm like that with my husband. I mean, it's like never been, it's never been easier, you know, and I have a collection of vibrators that I love.

Speaker 2: 37:14

I have a whole giant dresser with like 10 drawers dedicated to sex toys. But to speak to that, I love that you say that because and I probably a year and a half ago is when I was sharing on this podcast I did start to feel pleasure after having the babies, but it was when I did 365 days of orgasms challenge, where I decided to have one orgasm every day for a year, which I did.

Speaker 3: 37:47

And I what the hell?

Speaker 2: 37:48

Yeah, yeah let me tell you I learned a lot. That sounds like a lot of work. Oh, that's the first thing everybody says, and I will not deny that. There were times I got COVID twice that year really rough to give yourself an orgasm when you're sick. But so I started using a lot of toys and I had a partner at the time, but he was long distance, so most of it was me like getting myself off. And during that 365 days I found my G spot. I found the spots deeper inside of me. I learned to have a blended orgasm. I learned to have multiple orgasms. I mean, I learned all of the things I was doing that stopped orgasms. I am a different woman and it would not have been possible without all the different toys. So I'm just saying for those people out there that are like toys, ruin your pussy. I'm like I don't know. I don't know, mine is fucking magical. Now that's pretty cool. I got to know a lot.

Speaker 3: 38:43

I got to know a lot. I think I'm gonna do a short version of that, maybe like the 90 day orgasm challenge.

Speaker 2: 38:49

Yeah, you really should, you really should Like. It was really, you know, a big moment for me and just, we're talking about vaginas, guys, and we got here because, you know, I think there were maybe some sensitive feelings out there About the sex with small penises which, if you listened to it, it was actually it should have been, you know, reassuring to people of all sizes. Yes, but that's the conversation that got us here. But the reality is and I think that it's what you shared is just vaginas and vulva owners. Our setup is just really more complicated. It's inside our body, so you can't see everything that's happening and you know we got a lot of different spots to pleasure and our main one, right, the clitoris, is not only the bean. I call it the bean that's on the outside, that we can all see in, but it's inside us and you can get to it in there, right? Yes, yes, the clitoris.

Speaker 3: 40:35

What we see is literally a small portion of what the actual clitoris entails. The tip of the iceberg. The clitoris has legs that wrap around the vagina and the clitoris inside the clitoris. It gets erect. So clitorises get erect, you know, with arousal you may notice the clitoris enlarge. The inner part of the clitoris is going to be engorged with arousal, and so we actually believe that the G-spot is not first of all not like a discrete spot but like an area, but that the area or G-zone is what it's being referred to now. The G-zone is partially included in the g-zone. It includes the confluence of the clitoris and the upper wall of the vagina, so that it's engaging. That G-zone is part of our clitoris that's involved. So just the inner part.

Speaker 2: 41:33

See, it's complicated stuff, but amazing if you take time to learn about it and so what we know. I'm going to sum up where we are in this podcast. When it gets bigger, that's better. It's a good thing. If a vagina gets bigger, it's a good thing. If you've got a woman, you put your cock in her and all of a sudden she loosens up, that is not a bad thing. She's a fucking goddess. You are fucking a goddess in that moment, even if it means like you're not getting the tight experience. If you put your penis in a woman and she clenches up and it gets super tight, she is not enjoying you in there, folks. It is not. That is not the sign of the goddess. True, I was that woman. I was definitely not being a goddess in that moment, and the doctor is agreeing with me, so this is not just me.

Speaker 2: 42:23

They're both goddesses, they're both goddesses.

Speaker 3: 42:26

But yes one is enjoying it and one is not enjoying it.

Speaker 2: 42:30

That's right. Thank you, that is the correction. I needed Both goddesses. You just got to get one of them there and figure out what's going on. And we've got a little bit time left to talk about. So the super tight, some conditions that can lead to the super tight, bad tight vagina, sure.

Speaker 3: 42:51

So there's something called vaginismus, which is where instead of the pelvic floor relaxing with penetration, it does the opposite it contracts it like, goes into spasm. It's like the vagina goes into spasm. Those patients have lots of pain with sex or any or any penetration. Potentially Pelvic floor dysfunction, high tone pelvic floor vaginas can also lead to this over type vagina. And so that's the individual that I tell patients like flex your bicep, all right. Well, your pelvic floor, if it's tight like a flex bicep, all the time you tap on your bicep, when it's flexed it doesn't really feel that good. I mean, it's not supposed to, not, it feels a little painful. If you relax and you start tapping that, that doesn't feel like painful, that feels fine.

Speaker 3: 43:47

So those hypertonic or high tone, pelvic floor dysfunction patients and other things that can cause that, like you, can have a reactionary pelvic floor problem because something on the outside of the vagina, ie all the dinia, meaning there's pain on the vulva or the opening, that then makes penetration uncomfortable and your pelvic floor reacts. So you know, if the vulva is a hostile place and that hurts, even penetrating going through that, I mean your vagina is not going to be relaxed. It may not be the root cause, but it's going to be like whoa Nellie, I don't like this. Okay, and so we see a lot of secondary pelvic floor dysfunction because there's a primary issue on the vulva or the opening of the vagina.

Speaker 2: 44:45

Right.

Speaker 3: 44:46

And then of course there is and I know this isn't necessarily in your realm, but trauma, sexual trauma can definitely yes, correct, yes, I didn't talk about like psychosocial things, but absolutely sexual trauma and PTSD can trigger pelvic floor contraction and vaginal tightness inadvertently.

Speaker 2: 45:09

Or if you're not doing sex well and you're hurting her and she's not enjoying it, she might tighten up and just not want you in there, folks. So I'm just saying, take that as a sign.

Speaker 2: 45:23

Take that as a sign to back out and like see what's going on right and be there. That's just my personal advice. So it's like a closed door. So I think we've summed it up. Any last thoughts you want to share? And then I want to close with you giving advice to any vulva vagina owner out there or a partner who is concerned about size and what your advice would be for them.

Speaker 3: 45:57

Well, absolutely. If anybody's suffering suffering from painful sex, please know that it is not normal. Please know that it is never normal, that it can be addressed and I strongly recommend that they find a specialist. There are female sexual medicine specialists like myself all over the country that you can find to help treat your pain with sex. So it's never normal. If you're concerned about the size of your vagina, it's an insecurity, it's changing the way that you feel penetration. Again, go to a specialist, get it evaluated and see if there is a legitimate to your concern and in some cases we can tighten the vagina. I mean that is a thing. We can tighten the vagina, all right. It's important that you understand that there is a two-titeness that we don't want to get to, so we're not. I mean tight isn't right. We want an accommodating vagina. But you certainly can. Both of them are legitimate concerns that can be addressed.

Speaker 2: 47:12

All right, so it can be addressed. Do you think we've covered everything? Do you feel we've answered the people's question?

Speaker 3: 47:21

I think so I think we have.

Speaker 2: 47:22

I feel good about it and guys like listen to this. You're welcome to send questions. You know how to get ahold of me, annette at SheExploresLifecom, or drop a comment. You've all been doing plenty of that. Before we go, can you tell everybody where to find you, how to find you and, if they want to talk directly to you, how they can do that?

Speaker 3: 47:42

Absolutely, I am your favorite urologist. So literally, if you Google that, go on YouTube, go on Instagram, go on TikTok and put that in, You're going to find me. My handle on Instagram is at Dr Milhouse D-R-M-I-L-H-O-U -S-E. My handle on TikTok is your favorite urologist. My YouTube channel is at Down there Urology, which is the name of my practice, a Chicago-based urology practice with a niche in sexual medicine and pelvic floor conditions of all humans, not just penis owners, not just vulva owners everybody. I'm an open book. I respond to DMs. If you have an inquiry, you can email. If you want to see me as a patient, you can go on my website.

Speaker 2: 48:41

There you go, guys. Do head over to YouTube. You can find my channel there. If you're a listener right now instead of a viewer, you can find me at Annette Benedetti over on YouTube. You can see our beautiful faces there and leave questions and interact there. You're going to want to find her channel as well. I've been enjoying watching your videos. They're amazing and so informative.

Speaker 2: 49:01

Thank you, thank you Thank you so much for joining us guys. If you have more questions, if you feel like we didn't give you enough, I am always listening, I'm reading your questions and I'm lining up people to answer them because I am here for you and to hopefully close the orgasm gap just a little bit more. That's the goal, right.

Speaker 3: 49:22

All right.

Speaker 2: 49:24

So until next time, listeners, I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.