So You Think You Can Porn? Jessica Drake & Navigating The Adult Film+ Industry

So you think you can porn? Well, you are about to find out what navigating the adult film industry is really like from one of the most successful actresses, writers, & directors in the adult entertainment industry. I sat down with award-winning adult film star and sex educator Jessica Drake for a candid conversation that covers her journey from being raised as a young Jehovah's Witness to becoming an underage stripper in Texas; then the lube and condom girl on set in the adult film industry; and eventually an award-winning adult film actress, sex educator, and world-renowned non-profit advocate. Jessica Drake sheds light on her personal journey into the world of adult entertainment and shares invaluable pearls of wisdom for anyone contemplating a leap into the adult world.

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Chapters

• 0:47 Exploring Porn Industry and Overcoming Stigma
• 13:29 Exploring Stigmas in the Adult Industry
• 31:40 Pleasure and Boundaries in Porn
• 44:37 Adult Industry Changes and Empowerment
• 51:14 Adult Industry Advice and Experiences
• 58:26 Exploring Sex Education and Senior Sex

Transcript

Annette Benedetti: 0:47

Hi, this is Annette Benedetti, your hostess for a locker room talk and shots, the podcast that likes to think of itself as the queer NPR of raunchy women's sex talk. You are about to sit in on the kind of conversations women have on their girls' nights out or behind closed doors, while enjoying delicious drinks and dishing about sex, think, fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy. One orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's locker room talk and shots topic is so you Think you Can? Porn navigating the adult industry with award-winning adult performer and sex expert, jessica Drake.

Annette Benedetti: 1:41

Now, you guys all know I've long had dreams of starring in porn and more recently those dreams have been reignited by the hump film festival.

Annette Benedetti: 1:51

I'm like I want to write a script, maybe start it a little bit, but I'm not gonna lie, I am nowhere near taking that leap, and a lot of the reason around it is well, lack of knowledge, also being really still plagued by some of the stigma around the idea of doing something like that and just a lot of misinformation.

Annette Benedetti: 2:13

Well, lucky for me and you, I have literally the best guest I could have on today to fill some of that information gap in for me to help you know, talk to the disinformation out there and also maybe give me tips so that perhaps one day I can fulfill this goal on my sex bucket list. My guest today is Jessica Drake. She is a certified sex educator, a multi-award-winning adult performer. She was named 2017's sexpert of the year by ex-biz and trained by San Francisco Sex Information, and is a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, counselors and Therapists. Jessica works with organizations and universities to foster sex positive attitudes and behaviors, with the goal of de-shaming and embracing human sexuality. Now, that's my kind of woman. Right there, jessica, I would love for you to take a moment as if many of my listeners don't already know who you are to tell everybody a lot more about you.

Jessica Drake: 3:24

Well, thank you first of all for the amazing introduction. As y'all might have heard, my name is Jessica Drake. I have been in the adult industry for more than 20 years right at this point I mean 2022. And I'm originally from Texas. There's a really interesting backstory as to how I got into the business and over the years especially over the past maybe 10 or 12 years my career has really taken a completely different trajectory than I ever imagined that it would. I'm really happy to be here today and talk about all of that and also share with you some other things that I have going on that don't have anything at all to do with porn, so thank you for having me.

Annette Benedetti: 4:10

Thank you for being here Now. Listeners, you want to stay to the end if you are all interested, like I am, in perhaps dipping your toe in the water of getting into the adult industry. Jessica is going to give us some great tips and kind of help us take those next steps. So you're going to want to stay to the end when you will get the takeaways you get every week that you can start implementing in your life and career today.

Annette Benedetti: 4:40

So Jessica, let's raise our glasses and get ready to talk about porn. Let's talk about porn, let's do it. So I just want to jump right in with your story how you got into the porn industry and what that looked like for you.

Jessica Drake: 5:00

Yeah, so it's not anything that I ever imagined that I would be doing, and I think part of that reason is the massive stigma that goes along with the adult industry, all the stereotypes that people have, all of the preconceived notions they have of what being in porn is or what being a sex worker is. I mean, I had them myself in the beginning and it's really interesting. I come from East Texas. I was raised very conservatively. I was raised Jehovah's Witness as well. I had abstinence, only sex education, barely. You know. I had a lot of misinformation taught to me about sex, or no information, and a lot of fear based stuff. So I found myself leaving home at a younger age because of how repressive it was, and I've been a lot more forthcoming about this lately in the past few years. But look, the reality is I was an underage stripper in Texas and I continued being a stripper and I decided I needed to go to college, not because I was sure that I knew what I wanted to do, but just because I thought it was the thing to do. So I was going to college.

Jessica Drake: 6:25

I was probably about 24, 25 by this time. So I had a whole life already dancing, going to school and working other jobs, and I worked at a club that had feature entertainers and a feature entertainer is a performer who comes through, usually works two or three days, only on the weekends, does big theme shows, gets paid really great money to do that and they just travel. Many of them have magazine credits or movie credits or mainstream credits of some sort. So I got it in my head that I wanted to be a feature dancer. I already had the really big shows and the really big costumes, already super comfortable on stage, contacted a dance agency. They sent some people out to meet me and little did I know that those people had ties to the adult industry here in California and my first impression was, no, there's no way I could ever do that. But I ended up being friends with these people. So it was a couple, a husband and wife couple. He was the director, she was an actress. Also, they had other people out in Texas with them a photographer, a makeup artist, other people in their crew and I was like, wow, you know, these people are amazing. They became my friends.

Jessica Drake: 7:47

I came out to LA a few times to spend time with them and I think a pivotal moment for me was when they took me onto the set of an adult movie. And I will never forget, like I was a Jill Kelly fan back then and it was, it was a Jill Kelly movie and they took me onto the set and they made me the condom and lube person. So I was standing like I don't know 15, 20 feet away from one of my sex idols and they were having sex and my mind was blown and it was my responsibility to give them condoms when they needed them and offer lube and like go run and get the water and baby wipes and paper towels. And I mean it sounds really funny to say it now and also a bit surreal when I think about where I came from versus then and what I saw versus where I am today. But like I was thrilled, it was the time of my life and of course I left that set going. Oh, it's nothing like I thought it was, you know.

Jessica Drake: 8:55

So I kept coming out here to LA from Texas and I started dabbling in adult work. So I did a few magazines, did a little like HBO, skin and max type stuff, girl in bikini, number four. And then, you know, we were sitting around talking one day and they said do you want to do a movie? And I said yes, and it just sort of popped out of where I knew, like what I said, and they went whoa, because they were kind of kidding. They were like are you sure? And I said yeah, and the biggest takeaway that I want anyone listening to this to have is that this awesome group of people that I met that I spent like probably a year with before I decided to take the plunge, before they shot me in a movie, they said listen, we have to tell you something.

Jessica Drake: 9:49

This can be amazing. You can have the time of your life like. You can make a ton of money, you can meet people, travel, you know, do, do all the things, get all the attention like, feel awesome, but it will always haunt you. And I didn't quite know what they meant, but I definitely took those words into some kind of consideration. They told me that it will forever change the way that some people think about me and I've lived that again and again and again. But that speaks to the stigma, which we can expand on later. But in a nutshell, that is how I came to be sitting at this desk now, all these years later, and it has been an absolute adventure.

Annette Benedetti: 10:38

I just love that your story is going from condom and lube girl to sex expert. I mean a sex educator, a sex expert like this award winning, like well respected performer and and someone who really is helping guide people in having healthier, better sex. You know, I think that's incredible. Do you ever think back to those condom and lube days and just I can't, yeah, and I also think, wow, what an easier time.

Annette Benedetti: 11:48

You just had to hand them the lube and the kind you know. I think women we kind of know when it's time for that change. Yeah, again, there's a lot of stigma about women who get into porn being just these, really broken down women who are lured into porn and doing things they don't want to. Can you speak to that sort of vision that is created around women and porn and your experience going into porn?

Jessica Drake: 12:20

Yeah, I think that it's really important to acknowledge that I can only speak from my own lived experience and and also though a lot of the things that I've seen over the years, because you know the performer pool at times, especially pre COVID, was, it felt, a great deal smaller and to some degree a bit siloed. I can say that with great certainty that, as a performer and a director, I have never nor have I seen anyone who was not here of their own accord and I'm not saying that that doesn't happen. Being a sex worker at all. I'm saying this is not anything that I've personally seen. I mean, you heard the story. I really came into this gradually but then absolutely made a very informed decision when I decided to do it.

Jessica Drake: 13:29

But there are a lot of other stigmas that go along with being an adult performer.

Jessica Drake: 13:36

I think one of the most pervasive well, they're all super bad actually.

Jessica Drake: 13:42

They're all broken, we're all damaged, we're all abused, we're all either addicted to drugs or alcohol or both. And I think I think that if we zoom out and we take a look at the bigger picture and not just hold the adult industry under a microscope, particularly lately, right maybe the last five plus years, as a society, we're becoming more and more comfortable acknowledging and talking about mental health issues and trauma, and I don't think it's fair to say that everyone in the adult industry is damaged or, you know, has and this is one of my pet peeves has daddy issues like, yes, let's blame the person on the father's failure, like, oh, but I just don't think that that's. I think it's a very broad generalization. And also in the beginning of my story as to how I got here, I disclosed that I was raised really strict, grew up Jehovah's Witness and left home at an early age and became an underage stripper. So you know, to some degree Some things are true, but I don't think that they're specific to our industry.

Jessica Drake: 15:00

Another thing that really gets me, and I don't know why, this is still surprising to me but if I disclose to someone that I'm in the adult industry, they think that I am just having sex with everybody all the time, and that couldn't be further from the truth, because if anything being in the adult industry has made me incredibly selective about the people that I have sex with and sometimes I'm just happy to have sex with myself, quite honestly. And then I'll get super serious here for a second and say that some of the most damaging things that are happening with adult performers right now is this ongoing discussion where folks are conflating human trafficking with consensual sex work, and it just keeps on happening and it presents itself with things like harmful legislation being passed under the guise of stopping human trafficking. That's how we ended up with Cesta Fosta, which is awful for all parties involved and these things. It's not sex work that is the danger here. It's the way that sex workers are treated Like we're disposable, like people have said in court police inside, we can't rape or prostitute.

Jessica Drake: 16:29

I think it's theft of services was the quote. They don't recognize us as valuable human lives and that's why we're seeing the loss of so many sex workers, particularly black, trans sex workers, and I really think that we need to think about what the stereotype is really doing to people. I've also had friends, especially lately because I don't know what's going on with the banking, but it's getting increasingly worse. There is banking discrimination right straight across the board with performers, with sex workers. I have someone that I know who had their Wells Fargo account canceled, their business account corporate account canceled last week with over $40,000 or $50,000 in it. The bank offered no explanation and said it could take up to six weeks to get their money for no reason. Chase has a reputation for doing that as well. It's just very pervasive, the stigma and it's in all parts of our lives. It's a really big deal.

Annette Benedetti: 17:36

Right and without the stigma and without that type of discrimination, you're going to see people thrive at their profession. And when more credit is given to you and prestige is given to a profession, the more power that is held within that profession and when you are empowered, you're less likely to end up being hurt, raped, put into dangerous situations. So yeah, I mean certainly on the show and in my community we are very pro sex worker. It's a legitimate profession and I think the people I know that are in it are just really amazing, intelligent and empowered people. So I am curious about your journey through working in the adult industry. But how do you think it affected your growth as a person, how you viewed the world around you and people?

Jessica Drake: 18:43

That's a great one. So I would say, initially, getting into the adult industry, I became very critical of myself because I came into porn, in. I think I did my first movie at the very end of 99, the beginning of 2000. So I mean, imagine societal beauty standards now, what skin as far as beauty trends and like body type and all that. Well, back then it was really different and I was sort of served up this idea of what sex should look like and what porn should look like and what a porn star looks like. And to some degree I conformed, because that's what you do when you get in you want to fit in. And I think, coming into the industry not at 18 or 19 or 20 or 21, 23, I think I think I was able to bring with me some comfortability with my body and some knowledge and already a bit of exploration that I wouldn't have had if I would have come in younger. But still, I was super conscious about seeing myself have sex on camera for the first time. So I watched that first movie and so my brain did two things at the same time. I was thinking, oh, my gosh, this is so hot. Simultaneously I was like, oh, what face am I making? Why are those folds in the side of my body? Like, oh, is that, is that a orgasm? Face, like, don't do that again. Like it was. But then I was like, oh, it's so hot, so sexy, you know. Like, oh, I'm having good sex. But then, watching it, it just did a number on me. It really did. And so it became a problem.

Jessica Drake: 20:43

For a number of months actually, I would watch a scene and like be so hard on myself and critique myself and make notes for next time, you know, until I found that I wasn't enjoying having sex on camera as much and luckily I had the presence of mind to be like, oh yeah, you can't watch yourself anymore, you're grounded from watching your scenes.

Jessica Drake: 21:03

So I was able to do that. And then, like later on, now, when I watch scenes that I do or content that I create, I strictly enjoy it. But it was definitely a progression of time, it was a comfortability, it was therapy too, you know. It was the knowledge that we all have the same concerns and figuring out what we like and what works for our bodies, and I think that's what really changed things for me. The other thing that Warren did that I imagine I already sort of had from leaving home early and being a dancer at a very young age gave me a very thick skin, made me not care very much what people thought of me, although I did waste some time, and they're really caring what people thought of me, but it helps with all of that too.

Jessica Drake: 21:58

It made me very, I would say, creative, made me look at things from a lot of different ways as I morphed from being just a performer to a writer and a director before I got into the sex education side of what I do. I just became so creative because I had absorbed everything that I had seen in porn like a sponge. I was never just sitting on set waiting to do a scene. I was always talking to everyone or helping out or helping the lighting guys or just wanting to be a bigger part of what I was doing. So that was really cool. I definitely wouldn't say I was self-taught, but I took the initiative to learn from all the people around me and the creativity that it fostered in me definitely led to some really big cool things and opportunities. So they've poured into a lot for me really.

Annette Benedetti: 23:01

Yeah, how cool. So then you went into writing and directing and what like? Sex is such a rich topic for getting creative, and especially writing and getting to create a script and a film and direct it. That's amazing, like what a dream job. So, on that note, am I correct in saying that you are about my age, in your later 40s?

Jessica Drake: 23:31

Yes, my birthday is October the 14th, very soon.

Annette Benedetti: 23:37

And folks, you should head over to YouTube in case and watch this on YouTube, because you know I get a lot of look. I'm in quote the adult industry in what I talk about on this podcast and it really resonated what you said at the beginning about taking that leap into doing this podcast. It was like this quote will haunt me. Yes, it's going to change very much how people see me and there's no getting away from that.

Annette Benedetti: 25:09

And one on social media and one of the things that terrible men love to say when they hear my age is oh, she's old and no one wants her anymore and blah, blah, blah. Well, I am. I think I might be a year older than you, but whatever, we're like twinsies and you want to go check out, jessica. I'm just saying women my age are hot as fuck. I'm like this is my moment of pride to be able to show exactly what women in their 40s and 50s I mean, we're not there yet, but are beautiful, hot and sexy. And I believe you mentioned you are still creating some content, are you? You still making films?

Jessica Drake: 25:56

Yeah, so I am. I am my own content creator and I'll explain what that means. But first I want to piggyback on what you were just saying. Like I think the other thing that's changed a great deal in our industry is we really have discovered, because you can't argue with like traffic, web traffic, and you can't argue with number of clicks or ratings on scenes, but like people are into, people of all different ages and all different body types, so we've sort of just blown the societal beauty standard or their ages and beliefs out of the water over here in Horn and personally for me, I have never been happier with my body.

Jessica Drake: 26:44

I've never been more comfortable in my own skin. Yeah, I have flaws. I have had flaws or things that I perceive as flaws. I have had flaws since I was a baby stripper in El Paso, like I hated my knobby knees and my flat chest and my face, like I already had things I just liked about myself. I have fewer things now and I would not trade this age for anything. And it's a really cool time too, because I think society to some degree is starting to be more open to talking about Women getting older.

Jessica Drake: 27:27

I think women getting older, of course, are leading the conversation and like kudos to all of us brave women out there that are talking about it, but it's leading to to bigger things, you know, as far as Aging and sexuality, and we're starting to talk about Paraminopause and menopause and was happening to our bodies and how can we do things to take care of ourselves and feel better. And it's just great to be a part of this movement and conversation. And so now I'll say I stopped shooting for other companies during COVID and the reason that I did is because it didn't feel safe to be shooting with other human beings during the time where there wasn't a vaccine. Nobody really knew what was going on, like I don't really think we still have the full picture, but anyway, everything had shut down. So Everyone was on hiatus and during that time I started, and only fans, like many other people did, and I spent probably the first year of COVID shooting Just by myself. So what I mean by that is I was the lighting person, the camera person. I would build if it was a little set, like I would build a little set. You know, I was wardrobe, I was hair, I was makeup, I was all the things, and if it was video, I would edit it. So I did all that and then, once I got more comfortable being around humans, I started hiring a very favorite photographer of mine and a few other people here and there to help me shoot content, but it's just been me.

Jessica Drake: 29:19

I've only shot solo since right before COVID started. I'm really active on only fans. I just opened my books to take custom orders, which is really rare. I only do it like once or twice a year. I'm doing it right now and it makes me really happy. I did a shoot this morning at my house, before I came into my office and just having Absolute, complete control over what I'm doing and what I look like and the platform I'm distributing it on and being the person who makes the money. That's where I want to be in my life right now. So I have been toying with the idea lately of maybe shooting a Few projects for a couple of companies or directors that I'm especially enamored with, but I can't make up my mind, you know, I think. I think right now it might be all about me.

Annette Benedetti: 30:18

That's what this time of life is like, and you're absolutely right. I think there's a lot of misconceptions about women, our age like I had talked a lot on this podcast about. I was dating for many, many years and the older I got, the more I found especially younger, much younger men were pursuing the fuck out of me.

Annette Benedetti: 30:42

And you know, the idea of a cougar, like seeking out younger men, like I never hunted the cubs, like I wasn't into it, I mean, that just wasn't my thing. I mean I did give it a spin, don't get me wrong. I was like, I was like, yeah, right, well, if you thought, if I must, if I must, I'll give it a shot. But but and the older I get, I am, I'm telling you that I get more attention now. Then I did when I was younger and I am I think you're right more comfortable in my body. I mean, and that's why I have had these fantasies and thoughts about Creating my own content. I'm like I feel really good and I feel really sexy, and why, why not?

Jessica Drake: 31:26

I guess that's why not, indeed, I mean.

Annette Benedetti: 31:31

And, just like you said, you're at this place where you're making these decisions about yourself because of your career, so I think that's amazing. Now I'm an ask a question I think everybody wants to know Okay, is the sex you're having in the videos good sex, is it good? Sometimes I watch porn and I'm like I don't know she read not not necessarily yours, but I'm saying generally because I am a connoisseur of porn and I'm like is she, is she into that? And then sometimes I'm like she's definitely into that. And so I'm curious on let's give me a percentage how often is it good?

Jessica Drake: 32:16

So that is definitely not a One-word answer question In the beginning and I'll answer here for myself first, and then I'll answer from the perspective of being a director and being on hundreds of movie sets over the years.

Jessica Drake: 32:35

So for me it was super hot in the beginning because it was very new. So you have like the honeymoon stage, if you will, and and I would be very excited with just the idea that I was Filming a hardcore sex that other people were going to see, and that alone was enough to get me off really. And then I was in the business a little bit longer, and I Mean it really. This is true if you're watching porn. Most of the time the sex that you see is going to be very linear. It has like a formula, and the reason for that is and a lot of people don't know this we have broadcast requirements and like runtime requirements, so how the scene is going to be sold and on what platform dictates how long it is or how many positions have to be covered or just different stuff, how it has to be shot. So it became linear like kissing, kissing, oral, oral position, position, position, come shot, that's all and then it was done.

Jessica Drake: 33:51

So I mean, it almost always was like that for the first two years that I did it. But I think I had like an aha moment, and Pretty sure it happened after one scene where I was on my knees, come on my face waiting for a towel, and I went and this isn't fair, like, why is the money shot, the most important thing in the scene, why? Why am I doing positions that aren't particularly comfortable to me? It's, don't get me wrong, I'm bendy, like I'm really like bendy and flexible and I like my legs back here, but also I Want to get off a lot. So when that realization hit, I was like Relentlessly pursuing my pleasure Every time I shot a scene and it to some degree could be a problem to the director, who was in a hurry to Finish and go home, but I would and I always would get my partners to do the things that I needed to get off, and so this is sort of like a side topic here. But payment processors, um, that process members payments online, like for a website or whatever, have these rules and you can't shoot things if they're on the no list. At the time, choking was one of those things, and choking is also something not Real, like I'm gonna cut off your air supply choking, but like a love, a hand on my neck. And one of the things that I heard the most common was stop choking, jessica. That would be the director's command to whoever I was in the scene with. Or Stop slapping one another. That's enough spanking, stop choking, like. So I'm doing all the things that I need to do to get off and if I haven't gotten off, I'm rubbing my own clit. Or when I'm bringing toys to the set, I make sure that they're charged or they have batteries or whatever, even though the sound guy Says that destroys their audio. But like I get off.

Jessica Drake: 35:55

That being said, there are always those scenes where, like you show up. It's happened me quite a few times. I've been really eager to work with a woman who I fantasized about. I don't really know her, but she's been in the business, she's a big name. I can't wait to get my hands on her and we're booked for a scene. And then I find out that she's not into women. It's so sad. It makes me so sad. It really does look. Oh, what a waste Cause. If you're not into it, I don't want to be doing it with you. I can feel the lack of chemistry or participation for that matter. If you're gonna eat me out, you need to mean it.

Annette Benedetti: 36:40

Oh my God, this is like by woman's plate in life. This really does like tie over into real life when you get into threesome and you're like you're really there for the woman and then you realize, oh, the woman's just doing this for the man and that is the ickiest feeling in the world.

Jessica Drake: 37:02

Yeah, it feels like bait. It doesn't feel good at all Been there, absolutely been there.

Jessica Drake: 37:07

That was one of my ex's favorite pastimes but anyway I will close my mouth on that topic and other times we find ourselves if it's a big movie, we do dialogue all day long and it's like very complicated things that we're doing, and when it comes to the sex, we're tired, or it's outside and it's 40 degrees, or we're in platform heels and a man made waterfall or something like that. So, no, not every scene is a good scene. To answer the question very simply, not every scene is a good scene, but I try to always maximize the pleasure that I'm having by doing the sex acts that I enjoy. No matter what. Clitural stimulation is a must for me.

Jessica Drake: 37:59

I choose partners based on chemistry and then I really I've said this so many times and as the years have gone by, I understand more what it means I lose myself in the sex. The sex on camera is good to me. When there are no more cameras anymore, when I'm not thinking about my o-face or the roles on my side or like, oh, throw my hair that way or don't make that face, or when all of that noise fades away into the background and I can just concentrate on just great fucking, then that's my happy place, that's my nirvana, that's where I wanna be.

Annette Benedetti: 38:40

Yeah, I guess that was what I wondered. Were ours, the performers allowed to prioritize their own pleasure in the process to some extent? I know you're there to make a movie and so that's ultimately. I mean that's a job. It's a job. But even in our jobs, everyday jobs, you definitely try to maximize what is you know what makes the job fun and something you wanna return to. All right, just one last question. I mean, are there, like when I'm watching, sometimes I'm like ow, ow, you know cause the guys just shove their dicks. Do you guys ever like is it as painful sometimes as it seems to me? Cause I'm like it's like warmer up a little bit, like yeah, what viewers don't see.

Jessica Drake: 40:32

And I talk about this a lot. I do a lot of university conversations at universities about porn literacy and one of the things that I'm teaching when we're talking about porn literacy or we're having these conversations together and there are like some really open, candid conversations is you have no idea what's taking place before the cameras start rolling. So for me, if I was expected to do like a really a harder scene with more aggression or pounding or anything like that, we've also most of the time we've also taken the stills for the scene before we actually shoot the scene, so we've had the sex before we're actually having a sex. A lot of people don't know that and some people just really like extreme hard, fast penetration. Others don't.

Jessica Drake: 41:30

I do sometimes. If I'm in the mood, if I'm like really really worked up, then absolutely. But I think a lot of us do this. If it's too much, too hard, too fast, uncomfortable, we do the tap out so like I'll have my hand on my partner's back or his thigh or his ass or anywhere on his body, back of his arm, and if it's too much, I'm like and that's take it down a notch. Still too much, take it down another notch and a lot of the time viewers viewers don't see this. They're not privy to this. So everybody's different.

Annette Benedetti: 42:05

And you find that the people you work with are very responsive to your requests. Like you feel like you can trust people, Like if you're like hey.

Jessica Drake: 42:17

So normally I would say most of the time most of the time I can't say 100% of the time I have absolutely had a scene. Performers not listened to my guesses or my nose. I have had people begin to violate my boundaries Now. So I would say in the past five plus years I've gotten a lot better at very clearly communicating why that's not okay and why that won't happen again or I'll never work with the person again.

Jessica Drake: 42:55

And I would say prior to that 90, I'll go with 90. To be honest, I said 90% of the time if I have said no, my no has been heard, my wishes have been honored, and the rest of the time it's been like okay, maybe they were super excited and just needed to hear it a second time or whatever, and once or twice they absolutely weren't listening and they went on my no list. But I find, and also recognizing that I'm coming from a place of privilege because I was contracted to a big studio for a really long time and called the shots on all of my movies, so I'm pretty sure there was also just some degree, I'll say, respect for who I was in those moments and maybe people knew better than to go against my wishes, but I would say generally speaking yes, my, our boundaries are respected.

Annette Benedetti: 43:55

What are the biggest changes you've seen in your industry since you entered it? And tell them that, Because I know from that timeline. Obviously a lot's changed as far as how people view porn and the kind of porn being made. But from an insider's point of view, what are the biggest changes that have taken place in the industry?

Jessica Drake: 44:24

So I'm gonna say for me during this span of a 20 plus year career, I would say there have been three that are massive. So the first one and I still get eye rolls in colleges when I start talking about this but the first one is when people decided that porn was not a product that they should pay for. So when piracy was so rampant that we couldn't put a movie up before it was on all of the tube sites for free, that people underestimate the damage that. Well, I mean anybody that was around back then they know exactly what damage that did to our industry, but nobody else really gets it. So that was at piracy. Internet piracy was first the biggest change because suddenly people just weren't spending money on porn anymore and when that happened, bigger budget movies were much harder to shoot. So we would go from shooting a movie with a $350,000 budget and real special effects and real people coming over from mainstream to be on our cruise. We went from that to really not being able to do that anymore and, of course for the industry, DVD sales went completely down. Everybody was downloading it for free. So piracy is one.

Jessica Drake: 46:00

The second thing that happened a bit before. The third thing was the Me Too movement. So not that we have not spoken out about it before, but after the Me Too movement in Hollywood, it was almost a legitimizing moment for the stories that we had been relaying all along. And it was just having this conversation this morning with someone about lack of consent or a boundary of violations or even sexual assault in the adult industry. And I think, if we zoom out and look at the bigger picture, that it's just very pervasive in our society and the way people think about people in the adult industry and the way they shame us for being sex workers is sort of the way the reason that it doesn't get taken so seriously, right. So I would say the Me Too movement was something that empowered a lot of people in our industry to take to their platforms and share their experiences and, in turn, it definitely outed some of the abusers within our industry and that was a big time. That was a super, super big time.

Jessica Drake: 47:29

And I would say that the third thing was the impact that COVID had on our industry by placing so much control in the hands of performers, and what I mean by that is pre-COVID we were quite reliant on bigger companies, studios, we wanted big movies, we wanted that box cover shot, we wanted the starring role. We were in fierce competition with one another because that was sort of the way the industry was going, and when COVID happened, performers really branched out in a way that wouldn't have been possible a long time ago. So we have a lot of platforms that support us as independent content producers. For me it's only fans and it's also clips for sale, and I use all my social medias, of course, for promotion.

Jessica Drake: 48:38

The other really cool thing that it did is it gave a lot of performers the ability to reach fans in a way that they never could before, because this mainstream movie company over here wouldn't hire them because they didn't look a certain way or they didn't match what they thought their particular demographic wanted to see. So the power is definitely in the hands of the performers right now, which is probably the most empowered that we've ever been, because there is no reason for me to tolerate an abusive director on set who's screaming at me. There's no reason for me to get up at 4 am for a 6 am call time in the desert. There's no need for me to be put into an outfit that I don't feel my sexiest in. There's no need for me to work with someone that I am not absolutely just so magnetically attracted to. Like there's just no reason anymore, and so I think overall, that has been the most positive change for performers in the industry.

Annette Benedetti: 49:51

You're far more empowered now.

Jessica Drake: 49:53

Yeah, and I was empowered to begin with, right, so can you imagine?

Annette Benedetti: 49:58

I know it sounds kind of like a dream job to me. First of all, I would love for you to share, just maybe, some of the top industry secrets that most of us don't know about. We've already shared a couple right, but is there anything that might surprise us that we don't know?

Jessica Drake: 50:19

Maybe a secret is, and now that DVPs are all but obsolete, I think, unless you're a real fan of behind the scenes or you're getting your information from, like, the social media of a performer and they're showing behind the scenes on their own, I think people just don't understand what really goes into making a movie, especially the bigger ones. I've had dialogue coaches for some of my movies. I've had stunt coordinators, I've had firearm trainers, I've had rehearsals for dialogue. I've had to memorize in nine pages of dialogue, mostly a monologue, and I think people sometimes are like, oh it's just fucking or oh it's just porno, with shitty acting and bad dialogue. But the ones who take it seriously. I have three best actress awards that doesn't happen very often the whole span of my career and I'm sorry that's three AVN best actress awards. If countless others Like people that take it seriously, y'all just don't know how much work goes into it, so much work.

Annette Benedetti: 51:38

You have to do all the stuff that actors and actresses in the big mainstream films do. Plus, you ought to actually do the fucking yeah, I mean you should get higher pay. In my opinion, in my opinion too.

Annette Benedetti: 51:53

I love that you've had stunt coordinators and firearm instructors. That's amazing. So for someone like me, and younger people as well who are considering this type of career, can you give us a little starter pack of information, tips, things we absolutely need to know before we whip out a camera and start filming ourselves and putting it up online.

Jessica Drake: 52:21

Yeah, I love this question. I love this question because I think that every time somebody comes in new to the business, I think they should be. I don't know, given a handbook is the right thing, but I just think I got the speech about. Hey, this is always going to come back to haunt you. It was very helpful to me. I would have liked to have gotten a bit more information about some of the particulars, the business side of it, and if you would have asked me this question though, five, six, seven years ago, I would have cautioned people about getting into the adult industry.

Jessica Drake: 53:00

But now, with all of these platforms that support content creators and you can really mold your career into exactly what you want it to be, I think my number one piece of advice is fuck and go for it Like good. If you want to do that, do that. Also, understand it will always come back to haunt you, so I would definitely make that a piece of the package of advice. The other few things that I would say are things like never take the first deal offer to you and that goes for content creator platforms too like shop around for a lower percentage or shop around for one that's going to promote you more, or just have your back, or you like your terms of service better. In terms of service, always read the fine print and anything you sign. So if you end up doing scenes for companies, understand that you can be hired to do a scene. You paid one amount of money and then they can take and resell that scene as many times as they want. They can comp it, they can put it in different movies, they can put it on different websites. You name it. You've just signed away your rights to the scene, which is fine, but make sure you got what you think that's worth. Also, they can change the name of the scene at the last minute.

Jessica Drake: 54:23

I can tell you that I've never done a movie called Jessica Drake is a filthy whore. Yet there it is on my credit list. So I mean, and whether or not that's true, okay, it's true. But I was very surprised when that movie came out because at the time I was doing super high end, big budget movies and then all of a sudden in my credit list you have Jessica Drake is filthy whore. So, yeah, just be cognizant of that.

Jessica Drake: 54:52

And also all the regular stuff like pay your taxes, save some money when you first get in, it's amazing because the money is so good, because you're new and everybody wants to shoot you. Or if you're your own content producer, you're brand new, so you have new girl appeal and no one has seen all of your stuff yet. So it's just really important to be mindful of that. And there's nothing wrong with like taking a vacation as a brand new performer or buying yourself great wardrobe and shoes as a new performer if you've never had a chance to do any of that before. But just be very mindful that you have to pay your taxes and I say this after having 20 plus years in the industry, but it doesn't last forever. You have to have some kind of a plan, even if that plan changes. I think that's another reason I'm so glad I came in this late, as I did in life, because I already had a chance to blow through some of that stripper money. So I was a bit more careful with the money that I've earned in this industry. Yeah, I mean.

Jessica Drake: 56:04

And I think another really important thing is to just be very true to yourself. Own, your know, you have the ability to say no to anyone about anything at any time and if somebody or something is making you feel uncomfortable. You please stand up for yourself, and especially if you're an independent content creator, sort of in your own little world, if you're shooting content with other people, there's nobody else there to take up for you. So I know it's hard sometimes and I know if it's in a business situation it can be very intimidating. You have to stand up for yourself. You have to. Nobody has your back better than you do.

Annette Benedetti: 56:46

That's great advice. Speaking about the longevity of the job, I think this is a perfect time to wrap things up with you. While you still do create content, you are also doing other big things, so can we talk a little bit about those things?

Jessica Drake: 57:02

Yes, and it's all the things that I'm really passionate about. So about 10 ish years ago I was doing autograph signings and appearances everywhere and people would wait in line to get their photo taken with me and a really interesting thing started happening. Everyone started coming to me for sex advice, and two people in particular really changed everything about my career. So the first person was a woman who was in her, I think about mid 40s, who had been married for 15 years, who wasn't orgasming, and the thing is she had trained her partner to not make her orgasm and he thought she was. And she was like what do I do? After 15 years, I don't even think I've ever had an orgasm.

Jessica Drake: 58:01

So that was something I communicated with her for a number of months and, through a lot of information and education and self exploration, she started having orgasms, and where we left off was me encouraging her to bring toys into the bedroom so that she could experience orgasms with her partner as well and hope that would give way to having orgasms with her partner. The other people that I encountered they were a couple who came up to me very seriously and said there's something wrong with her. We just can't do what you do and I didn't understand what they meant and I talked to them a little bit more and they were talking about anal sex. I love anal sex, yeah, and also.

Annette Benedetti: 58:51

Yeah, yep, yep.

Jessica Drake: 58:55

Also, you can't just go from zero to full on anal penetration right, then in badly, it just doesn't. It made me understand that folks were missing this big piece of sex education that had to do with pleasure and boundaries and consent and very shame-free, non-judgmental sex ed. And so when that happened, I immediately signed up well, after some research, but I immediately signed up to take courses to be a certified sex educator. I only thought I knew a lot before I went to some of these programs and along the way I mean as recently as last year I keep going to conferences and I keep going to SARS and I keep learning and I'm able to use that to help other people. But 10 plus years ago I used it as a springboard to create a line of educational movies for people called Jessica Drake's Guide to Wicked Sex, and they are on DVD and they are also streaming and there are so many topics, from horror play to blowjobs to masturbation to anal play. My favorite ones are Kama Sutra, bdsm for Beginners and Senior Sex. Senior Sex I created right before the pandemic with a very dear friend of mine who's about to turn 80 years old. Her name is Joan Price and Joan is an author and a senior sex educator and I mean really just the expert on senior sex. So I have directed, written, directed, produced, narrated all of these movies with a thought that there may still be more to come. We're definitely talking about a sequel for Senior Sex and a sequel to BDSM for Beginners, and I teach a lot of classes, I train all over the world, I speak at universities and for as long as Wicked Central Care has been around, we are an amazing lubricant company. I have been the brand strategist and in-house sex educator for Wicked Central Care. About a year ago I also started taking over the role of marketing and product development. So my plate is super, super full, but all of the education that I've had from all of the sex ed certifications is certainly making me very satisfied in the positions that I'm occupying right now. I'm very passionate about everything that I've got my paws in and it's just really fulfilling like I'm now getting to see a lot of years of a lot of really hard work come to fruition in things like we have just launched a line of lubricants called Simply Timeless for people experiencing paraminopause, menopause and beyond, and what makes me so incredibly different are the supportive, nourishing, hydrating ingredients. They can all be used as vaginal moisturizers, they all provide extra hydration and they have a lot of ingredients that you will find echoed in really high-end skincare, and so we're really excited.

Jessica Drake: 1:02:41

I'm really excited to be a part of doing things like this and getting sex and aging into the spotlight and helping people talk about it very easily. And we're all getting older. Joan Price says this, we're all seniors in training and it's so true. And when people are yucking somebody's yams oh, that's grandma sex or ooh, I don't want to think about old people having sex I always ask them what age do you want to stop having sex? At what age is too old for you to feel pleasure? That always kind of catches them off guard. But that's sort of everything now. I think we've come full circle and, yeah, I'm super thrilled and super happy to be here. And also, if you would like, if you do things like this on your show, I would love to build a gift box of lube, and if you want to do a giveaway, you're more than welcome.

Annette Benedetti: 1:03:43

Yeah, absolutely, I definitely want to cover that and I would love to do a giveaway. So, folks, you're going to want to stay tuned. I will be sending out an e-newsletter with that information and promoting it so that you guys know what to do to get that gift box, because I'm excited.

Annette Benedetti: 1:04:05

Yeah, I'm excited. And well, now we've come full circle from lube and condom girl to now Look at where you're going to go. Didn't see that coming Never. So I have read about this and I believe I have some samples coming my way. But the bottom line is I've read about this product and it is fantastic.

Annette Benedetti: 1:04:32

And women who I am in the middle of, peri Minnipause and we have talked about it on this podcast a lot and Peri Minnipause and Minnipause we are not going through what your mothers and grandmothers did Like. We aren't. We are women in my age range. We definitely are not adhering to the stereotypes that we are. I always tell people I'm having more and better sex now than I've had in my entire life, even going through this. But it is super important for me to have the right products, definitely the right lube, which really I needed my whole life.

Annette Benedetti: 1:05:06

But here we are and knowing how to take care of my body and then making sure my partners get like here's what I need, and I find that a lot of what has been an underlying theme in your speaking today is once you have your voice, like, I think, women our age do, and we know our bodies and we tell whoever gets to play with this body what we need to get off, I find most, 99% of the time, they will hop to like do it, and so this giveaway is going to be a huge treat to whoever wins it, because it means lots of fantastic orgasms, whether you are fucking yourself or someone else is fucking you. I'm a big fan of fucking myself, so orgasms are powerful, and I have mentioned this on this podcast before. I believe if every woman was able to fully learn how to experience pleasure and orgasm, we would take over the world, because I do believe that our orgasmic potential is super powerful and it turns us into totally different beings Great.

Annette Benedetti: 1:06:15

Just saying Well, I want to thank you for being on now. Before we end this, can you tell people where they can find you? So?

Jessica Drake: 1:06:24

on Twitter. You can find me at the Jessica Drake on Instagram, jessica Drake. You can find our amazing loops at wickedcentralcarecom. You can also find a way to purchase those loops, some of my favorite toys, my flashlight, my real doll and some of my movies at guide2wickedsexcom.

Jessica Drake: 1:06:51

And I also want to quickly mention that I am on board of two nonprofits that are really important to me. One is called Feed the Streets LA, and I'll give you the information to drop down about that. Feed the Streets LA is a nonprofit here in Los Angeles. I'm the vice president of the LA chapter and we try to meet the needs of people who are unhoused and also folks who are food insecure. As you might imagine, la is very expensive, so we are helping out a lot of people right now. And the other nonprofit that I'm involved with is something very near and dear to my heart for many reasons. It's called Tending the Garden, and Tending the Garden is a nonprofit that supports marginalized survivors of sexual assault, both of those completely different organizations that I care about for many different reasons, but if anyone would like to support me through either one of those organizations, it would be exceptionally meaningful. My birthday is coming up and I'll post more information on my social media, because for my birthday, all I want to do is fundraisers for both of those works.

Annette Benedetti: 1:08:04

So can you give us your birthday one more time?

Jessica Drake: 1:08:07

It's October the 14th. All right, leave your season.

Annette Benedetti: 1:08:10

Leave your season, so October 14th, you can gift her by supporting her nonprofits. I love that idea Wonderful, so thank you so much. This has been an amazing conversation. It has exceeded all of my hopes and dreams about what it would be, so I want to thank you for having me.

Jessica Drake: 1:08:33

You asked really great thoughtful questions and also you pay attention. That that really helps. Yeah, yeah.

Annette Benedetti: 1:08:42

This is my passion, and I think our passions align quite a bit, which has made it a special conversation. So, to all of my listeners, until next time, I'll see you in the locker room.

Jessica Drake: 1:08:54

Cheers, Cheers y'all Ring loop.

Annette Benedetti: 1:09:00

Thank you.