This episode, featuring my bestie and Olympic Sex Squirting Silver medalist, Deanna, sparks hilarious and informative conversation on bisexuality and the body parts we want to bang regardless of gender. We tackle the question of whether specific body parts genuinely matter in sexual attraction. Together, we share our perspectives and personal experiences with different body parts, highlighting the shitshow of complexities in the ongoing dialogues between lesbians and bisexual women.
This conversation smashes the gender binary and examines the link between body parts and sexual pleasure. Loyal listeners will also get to hear Deanna's secret sexual fantasy about a specific body part shared for the first time. I'm betting it will surprise you as much as it did me.
This episode, featuring my bestie and Olympic Sex Squirting Silver medalist, Deanna, sparks hilarious and informative conversation on bisexuality and the body parts we want to bang regardless of gender. We tackle the question of whether specific body parts genuinely matter in sexual attraction. Together, we share our perspectives and personal experiences with different body parts, highlighting the shitshow of complexities in the ongoing dialogues between lesbians and bisexual women.
This conversation smashes the gender binary and examines the link between body parts and sexual pleasure. Loyal listeners will also get to hear Deanna's secret sexual fantasy about a specific body part shared for the first time. I'm betting it will surprise you as much as it did me.
Hi, this is Annette Benedetti, your hostess for a locker room talk and shots, the podcast that likes to think of itself as the queer NPR of raunchy women's sex talk. You are about to sit in on the kind of conversations women have on their girls' nights out or behind closed doors, while enjoying delicious drinks and dishing about sex, Think fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy. One orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's locker room talk and shots triple X topic is Dick or Clit. Does the body part matter? By bitches way in folks.
Annette Benedetti:
Today I'm going to talk about a topic that is long been on my mind, and I'm not just talking at y'all alone. My good friend Deanna has joined me for this conversation. If you have been a long time listener, you already know Deanna, aka Ruby, a silver Olympic medalist in the sex Olympics. She has been titty-futt and taught me how to do it, though my attempt was a fail. Just scroll on back to boob sex or squirting, squirting, all the squirting ones. You can brush up on Deanna, if you've forgotten I can't imagine you have. She's also bisexual. She is also my partner in my non-profit by women empowered If you want to know more about that you can go to by womenorg. We are putting on a retreat here in, I guess, eight weeks. The bisexual bit is important because the conversation we're having Deanna didn't even know. I said I want to surprise you with the topic.
Annette Benedetti:
As a bi woman, Deanna batter up here, lady, I think my journey has been across my life and my sexuality and bisexuality has been realizing for myself that for me it's not about the gender and it's about the person. I'm really attracted to people, I'm into people. I know that there are different levels of bisexuality, degrees of bisexuality and how that shows up in people and so on and so forth. One of the things that comes up often when I'm talking to people who are cisgendered this hasn't come up with trans people. I can only speak to what comes up with cis people in these conversations. There's always a conversation about how could you ever be happy with me? I don't have a pussy? Something about the pussy and the fact that they don't have a pussy or they don't have boobs. And men do have boobs. I like the little nips on the guy's tits. They can be very sexy. I love a good set of pecs. They can even be meanie and that can be sexy I'm getting off topic but it doesn't only happen in conversation with men cis men I have found very much, so so often in conversations with lesbians specifically.
Annette Benedetti:
I don't think I encountered this as much with bisexual women, but with lesbians. When they talk about their issue with bi women dating both men and women, or with bi men or, I'm sorry, with bi women in general, it's always like the cock comes up. The cock comes up. If it's not ooh the cock, ooh sperm. If she's got that in her, I don't want to fuck around with her. It is well, I'm better. You know I'd be insulted if I lost a woman to a man because you know my dick doesn't go limp. My dick can be any size. It's sort of like they're one up to men right.
Annette Benedetti:
And as a bi woman, these comments and conversations really fucking rub me wrong. They do not rub me right, they do not get me off or excited. And so I wanted to talk to you today during XXX, about the titties and the clitties and the dicks and the cocks. And when it comes to being a bisexual woman, does the body part really matter? Do the body parts Like, can we live without cock, without a real soft, sexy cock in us? If we decide to be monogamous, is it about the cock? Is it like, oh my God, if I'm with one cock for the rest of my life, I can't go like deep diving on a beautiful wet pussy, you know, and I have my own kind of take on that. But I wanted to bring another bi woman into the conversation without giving you time to really mull it over and have a. You know whatever I can to answer. So first of all, I'm just going to make this hard for you. Do you have a preference, cock or pussy?
Deanna:
Um, I mean, I guess I don't.
Annette Benedetti:
Are you sure? You seem not sure.
Deanna:
Well, I mean, I look at them as two totally different things. I mean, it's like which do I prefer Doritos or barbecue potato chips? I like them both. Sometimes I like one more than the other, Sometimes I'm craving one more than the other, but I don't really have like a preference, Like I just I like them both.
Annette Benedetti:
You will eat them all. You'll eat them all.
Deanna:
Right, I will eat both of them. Sometimes I'm craving one more than the other.
Annette Benedetti:
You know, could you live without Doritos? Or what were the other ones? Barbecue potato chips.
Deanna:
Barbecue potato chips. I don't even really like barbecue potato chips, but I see those as an example. I mean, could I? Yes, I could. If I mean, then that's when you get into, you know, like the complexity of it. So, could I live without Dick? Well, it depends. It depends on the person that I'm with with the pussy. If they are meeting all of my needs, probably yes, um, would I want to. I don't know, maybe not. And then the same with, you know, could I do without pussy? Well, it, I mean honestly yes, but that person fulfilled all of my needs, because you have more than physical needs, um, and if all your needs are being met, the physicalness I mean, because, let's face it I'm going back to the comment about the lesbian saying well, my dick comes in any size, my dick is always hard. Well, goes the same for if you have a male partner, because they can have the same sex toys anyone else has, so they can have a hard dick, a bigger dick, Like they have access to the same stuff.
Annette Benedetti:
Yeah, you know it's interesting me that. To me I'm sure you've heard that comment before that is a very common come, come back or whatever, from the lesbian population. Why are you leaning into a cock like toy rather than your pussy? Isn't that interesting to you? Like I'm like, why is it? But you know, what it makes me think of is that is such a great example of misogyny in the queer world. Again, the conversation about sex is centering around a cock like object, right, as though the cock is like the thing, right, and it's not. It's not like if your partner was a cock owner and something happened and they lost their cock, could you still have good sex? Yes, yes, absolutely. But you know, I mean, if I were a lesbian I'd be owning the shit out of having a pussy and out of like having a pussy and knowing how to treat another pussy. I guess that would be my go to. Yeah, that would be.
Deanna:
My pitch is as a pussy owner, I know what a pussy needs. I love that you. Nothing to do with that.
Annette Benedetti:
You call it a pitch. That you call it a pitch? Yeah, that would be my pitch. As a bi woman, I think we understand how hard it is to get pussy Right, like it's just hard to get pussy. So we are. We revere the pussy Like that is the gold, that is the bucket of gold, or at the end of the goddamn rainbow Right. Not that they can then put a fake cock over the pussy and like, oh well, I've already had the cock.
Annette Benedetti:
Like I don't, I don't get it Like I don't get it. I don't get, but it's, it's like. You know. That's again right now. We're focusing on what, what lesbians like to say what, or you know, other women get worried about like, not having a cock when it's like, and then, and then men focus on the pussy. Yeah, there's a little bit more truth to their concern.
Deanna:
I think there's a lot more truth to their concerns on the other side.
Annette Benedetti:
Well, let's be honest about it. It's not hard to get cock. There's a lot of free cock out there. No, and you know what, guys, if you don't like to hear that, then stop being whores. You know you're easy and some, some women are easy. I've definitely had my easy days.
Deanna:
But, generally.
Annette Benedetti:
Generally speaking, women aren't aren't easy. I mean, historically, it could get us killed. It would devalue us and ostracize us from society. But you know, all right, let's just. Can we focus on titties for a little bit?
Deanna:
Okay.
Annette Benedetti:
I mean, this is triple X. So I don't want to have like a heady conversation here. I want, like is it you know? Like is it you're? You're with a dude like you and I think a lot of bi women we have, we end up with men because, let's be honest, other queer women, especially in the lesbian community, are real hard on bi women because we don't, because we don't hate the cock.
Annette Benedetti:
We don't hate the cock, and so we oftentimes end in end up in hetero facing relationships. So how much do you miss the titties? You've been in a long term.
Deanna:
Uh-huh, I have. I mean I miss them. I play with them whenever I get a chance.
Annette Benedetti:
Are you a tit-tick?
Deanna:
Yeah.
Annette Benedetti:
You like boobs?
Deanna:
I do, I mean I fondle my own all the time.
Annette Benedetti:
You've got giant, giant, giant boobs.
Deanna:
I just like the feel of them.
Annette Benedetti:
And so when you're so, when you haven't had boobs in a long time, I mean like, is it about the body part, or does the partner you're with, like their little nips, do it for you?
Deanna:
Oh yeah, I like playing with his nipples. I don't know how much he likes it sometimes, but but I always tell him turnabouts fair play, because he's always pinching my nipples. So, um yeah, I'm going to pinch yours every once in a while. Have you ever tried suffocating him with your boobs?
Annette Benedetti:
Have you ever tried suffocating him with your big tits Like just suffocating? Have you ever fantasized, when you're angry about just like burying him under your boobs and suffocating him?
Deanna:
I have.
Annette Benedetti:
I knew it, I knew it All right. So maybe it is about body part, maybe body parts matter.
Deanna:
I mean. I mean maybe they do I, just I don't like, because it's not like some people say oh, I have a specific like body type and I don't like, I, I maybe there was a time. Well, there was a time when I did because men had to be at least six foot, blah, blah, blah. But that was I. My mind was I had a lot of baggage I was dealing with then. But as I've, like, unpacked baggage and looked at life with more positive eyes, I realize and come to appreciate, like all the differences and humans and you know the different shapes, the different sizes, the. You know everything.
Annette Benedetti:
Also, I think it's like I love that we're moving away from the gender binary, the, and we've got this beautiful trans community. I think that that's hot. I think trans men are fucking. And then I'm like you know, and some of them have full, full transitioned, some have not and I'm like what I find amazing and exciting and I think sexy is now you get to have like humans, get to be their true selves, even if having their outer appearance match what society has told them it should, should, for them to be considered a man or a woman means seeking medical help.
Annette Benedetti:
I think it's fucking hot. It's hot that there are men with pussies. I think it's hot that there are women with with dicks or with lady dicks, so it's lady dicks, are enlarged clits or whatever you know namesuits, what they decide to to call it. I think it's sexy, I think it's beautiful. I feel like, whatever body part a person has, you know, whether it's a pussy or a cock, or little titties or nips or big boobs, for me it's like I can find a way to get off on you. Oh yeah.
Annette Benedetti:
Like I can get off on you. The job is to get each other off and to connect and share energy. And whether that energy is exchanged between fingers and a pussy, or a cock and a vagina, or a cock and an ass, or you know, whatever it is like, intimacy is intimacy. And there are so many body parts on everybody right.
Annette Benedetti:
Like a man isn't just a cock, there are balls, no, there's a fucking butt hole, there's arms, there's pecs, there's, like I mean butts, like I've seen some beautiful boy butts, and the same with women. Like it's, and the dynamics are different and, god you know, it can all just be so sexy. And what I wish for people sometimes this is my perspective and I'm happy to hear yours is that people could get out of this very manly man, woman equipment, gender binary perspective, because they are like holding themselves back from so much pleasure and so much connection. It's like if I'm with you and you're a woman, I don't like I don't care about a dildo, like there's so many more things I can do with just you. Yeah, toys are fun, but you don't have to compensate for anything.
Annette Benedetti:
And the same with a guy Like you don't have to compensate for not having a pussy, and if at some point we're both feeling frisky, and you know, we can all go out and play with other people. If that's within and that can happen even within a monogamous relationship right yeah? Like you enjoy, you invite friends or however you want to play that game If you feel like you're starving for, you know, some fucking Pringles, pringles.
Deanna:
Right, I love Pringles. Oh, sour cream and onion Pringles.
Annette Benedetti:
Yeah, yes, anyways, I mean, does that resonate with you? Or do you, do you understand sort of this hyper fixation on body, on the cock or the clip?
Deanna:
Um, I don't, I'm with you. I wish people could just go beyond. I mean, there's so much more to a person than their genitalia, like there just is.
Annette Benedetti:
And you say that in reference to also sexual pleasure right.
Deanna:
Yes, Um, I, my biggest sex organ is my brain. Like if I mean I have gotten off just by someone talking to me. Um, it's just, I think there's so much focus on what's in your pants that a lot gets lost. That could really like heat up your intimacy with your partners.
Annette Benedetti:
I agree. I think that, and I have to tell you, the minute that I hear someone say those things, it's a big turn off to me because I'm like it. It makes me wonder instantly like, oh, are you good in bed? Because if, like, that's your view, especially when it's fixation on a cock, like structure, I'm like that means you don't understand that sex doesn't begin with penetration, that there's so much more to that pleasure and so much more to that intimate experience. Um, and I don't know.
Annette Benedetti:
I don't find myself falling for people based on what I think might be in their pants, and you know what. It's a dumb thing too, because you may not, you may think you're getting like one thing and then unwrap the package and be getting another, and that could be like cock size, that could be vagina shape, like you don't know what someone, because it's not like every cocks the same, not even close, or every postie is this Same. You don't know what you're getting when you unwrap it, and by the time you get to unwrapping it, it shouldn't matter, you know it shouldn't matter if, uh, what it is.
Annette Benedetti:
And I think it was interesting. There was this up and coming. I can't even remember his name. He was a popular comedian on Tik Tok in particular, and then he made some comment about not liking women with big clits. Like, like, basically a big clit. He's like it's scary, it intimidates me, like it's a no go and I'm like, okay, dude, like, if you're afraid of a big clit, that tells me a lot about who you are in bed and what might be closeted. Are you afraid of having to suck on a big clit? Cause I am not? Oh, my God, it's like. And the thing is is the sexiness isn't in the object, in the body right, the sexiness is in the human attached to it.
Deanna:
Yeah, I mean, it doesn't mean that, you know, there I don't have some fantasies that are definitely tied to physical aspects of a person.
Annette Benedetti:
Sure what came to your mind, ray. Thanks, something came to your mind.
Deanna:
Well, I was thinking about something when we were talking about trans individuals and I have found myself fantasizing a lot about being with a trans man and I so you see all the pictures. Tiktok is a curse, oh God, right With top surgery, and I just picture myself. Some of these guys are so hot and the scars to me represent like something that's so sexy and so brave, and so I always think about like licking those scars and just taking in that empowerment.
Annette Benedetti:
Wow, wow, wow. Deanna, that might be one of them. That was not. I was expecting you to say it all.
Deanna:
You heard it first, peeps.
Annette Benedetti:
That's something I haven't let out, that is Wow, I hadn't thought about that before, but now it's going to be in my mind a lot. I also find trans men incredibly, fucking sexy, incredibly sexy and just yeah, I think you're right the brave, how much bravery it takes to go on that journey. And God, some of them are just. And then it's like not only are they physically hot, just that emotional intelligence and strength and, like I, some of these. So there are just so many thirst traps on TikTok. It is a curse. It's a blessing in that, like I wouldn't ever be able to meet as many types of people without it, I certainly wouldn't have seen different trans folks in the light that they're in non-binary folks, but the thirst traps man the thirst trap.
Annette Benedetti:
First of all, I'm like how do you do that? How do you become a thirst trap Like? I don't think I have it within me to do that?
Deanna:
I don't know.
Annette Benedetti:
But, boy, without TikTok we wouldn't have seen trans thirst traps, and they are oh like. If you are open-minded at all to like the gender, non-binary world, you will fall in love with all types, huh, and that goes to show. It's not the fucking body part, right, it's not the body part, and I've been ranting about this in my head for weeks after kind of hearing these comments. Oh, and I'm just like, as bi women, one thing I think we have is just this incredible view of the world and people that I wish that we could give more people, because I believe bi women and I'm a bi woman. I can't speak for bi men. I'm not gonna speak for bi men.
Annette Benedetti:
I do feel like we see beauty where other people can't, or just see fear or something strange that scares them, whereas our rose-colored glasses just really give us an ability to see more beauty in the diversity that is the human manifestation on this earth, and humans manifest in so many different ways and it's weird to me that there are some people that can only be attracted to one manifestation of what a human comes up out as, and then, even within that manifestation, they have to have this kind of body and this kind of look Like how narrow beauty is to you, how narrow sexiness is to you, whereas we can see humans in all the different manifestations and be like fuck, I mean, we're just walking around with wet panties, basically all the time.
Annette Benedetti:
Oh, I am a lot there are so many gorgeous humans out there with all sorts of equipment.
Deanna:
I mean, I am right now just sharing my fantasy story.
Annette Benedetti:
That was a really good fantasy story. That was also. It was kind of beautiful. It was surprising Because you've told me a lot of you might, maybe I need to. Maybe we do a whole podcast just on whatever's going on in the fucking kinky head of yours, dirty motherfucker.
Deanna:
I know I have my moments.
Annette Benedetti:
Yeah, I've got lots of them too, definitely evolving fantasies. So, guys, I'm gonna make us wind this one up. I think we've answered the question about equipment for those of you out there that are only hitting the cock. You're like that's, that's, I'm only, I'm heterosexual, I'm only into men, blah, blah, blah. You know I'm just. Are you Just make sure Men, men out there listening to this, first of all, if you are with a bi woman, understand your cock has value.
Annette Benedetti:
We see value in that body part. It's not about the body part. Work on everything else you got. If you really are worried about other women, then learn how to fuck like women. Do right. And I feel like if you've been listening to my podcast for any amount of time, you should be well along your way to being a goddamn good lover. But if you're like and I've been listening I still don't know how to fuck like a woman, you know, send me your goddamn questions and at at Shakespeare'slifecom Now to the lesbians that might be listening in, you're thinking I'm hating on you. I'm not hating on you, I'm just saying your pitch is wrong.
Annette Benedetti:
As Deanna said, hey I gave you your pitch, Deanna, gave you your pitch. Don't lead with my. My cock will never go limp, Dude. What are you talking about? Why are you? Why is that your take?
Deanna:
Yeah, why.
Annette Benedetti:
We love the pussy by women. Love the pussy. You've got the pussy, you got the power to please the pussy Like only a pussy owner can Right Lean into that Because, basically, when it comes down to it, we love, we love all the body parts and we understand. Sometimes you come to the table and if you're like I only want to have one meal partner, sometimes you just, you just go, okay, fine, I'm going with the Pringles, can we?
Deanna:
say Pringles instead of barbeque. Yeah, I don't like barbeque either.
Annette Benedetti:
Yeah, let's do Pringles, pringles or Doritos, all right, and and then you're fine, you're like, you're like yeah.
Deanna:
And then watch out when Cheetos gets put on the table.
Annette Benedetti:
Damn when Cheetos and you know Cheetos are really they are problematic, they're very difficult to say.
Deanna:
Orange fingers.
Annette Benedetti:
Yeah, I mean, I think also it. Maybe it should help you all just to know that it's not just Doritos or Pringles. There are Cheetos, there are I don't eat chips. What are the other kind?
Deanna:
There are Fritos, fritos.
Annette Benedetti:
Oh, I remember them from when I was a kid. I liked those.
Deanna:
Yeah, so I mean there's, there's veggie chips there are.
Annette Benedetti:
There's the healthy version, which none of us ever choose. That, do we? That's another podcast. Why are we all not choosing the healthy chips?
Deanna:
And I have been. I've been getting the bare. Simply banana chips, cause they're crunchy and sweet.
Annette Benedetti:
Oh, look at you, therapy is helping. So, anyways, you get the point. We've taken the chip analogy way too far, but it's not about the chips, it's about the dicks, it's about the clits. That's what we were here to talk about, and you've got your answer. Now go, it's Friday. Go rub one out with a friend. Yep, send me your questions, comments and hey, until next time we'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.
