Listen up, pleasure seekers! I aim to have you rethinking your bedroom skills with women and vulva owners after this tell-all episode of Locker Room Talk and Shots. From my utter incompetence with hitting on and trying to date women to my unfathomable mastery of making her cum in the bedroom, I'm giving my subscribers an all-access pass to the mind f*ck that is my relationship with the pussy. I'm laying it all out , from mastering your hand game to identifying the tell-tale signs of arousal and everything in-between.
Ever wondered how to navigate the terrain of a woman's body like a pro? My candid discussion on the subject will leave you a step ahead. We're not shying away from the details, so prepare to get schooled on the ins and outs of arousal — from the twitching to the spasming. And because I believe in keeping it real, I'm also dishing out some sexy talk secrets that you'll definitely want to add to your arsenal. Got lingering questions? Don't worry, I've got your back, and I'm ready to tackle all your burning queries. So buckle up and get ready for a wild, enlightening ride on this episode of Locker Room Talk and Shots XXX.
Listeners: Send your questions and comments to annette@sheexploreslife.com
Listen up, pleasure seekers! I aim to have you rethinking your bedroom skills with women and vulva owners after this tell-all episode of Locker Room Talk and Shots. From my utter incompetence with hitting on and trying to date women to my unfathomable mastery of making her cum in the bedroom, I'm giving my subscribers an all-access pass to the mind f*ck that is my relationship with the pussy. I'm laying it all out , from mastering your hand game to identifying the tell-tale signs of arousal and everything in-between.
Ever wondered how to navigate the terrain of a woman's body like a pro? My candid discussion on the subject will leave you a step ahead. We're not shying away from the details, so prepare to get schooled on the ins and outs of arousal — from the twitching to the spasming. And because I believe in keeping it real, I'm also dishing out some sexy talk secrets that you'll definitely want to add to your arsenal. Got lingering questions? Don't worry, I've got your back, and I'm ready to tackle all your burning queries. So buckle up and get ready for a wild, enlightening ride on this episode of Locker Room Talk and Shots XXX.
Listeners: Send your questions and comments to annette@sheexploreslife.com
Hi, this is Annette Benedetti, your hostess for a locker room talk and shots, the podcast that likes to think of itself as the queer NPR of raunchy women's sex talk. You are about to sit in on the kind of conversations women have on their girls' nights out or behind closed doors, while enjoying delicious drinks and dishing about sex, think fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy. One female orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's locker room talk and shots triple X topic is how to know she's about to come. Listen to the pussy.
Annette Benedetti:
I spent last night hanging out with my dear friend Abby. Abby has been on this podcast a lot. I was talking to her about my woes with women, my woes with women. I have shared a bit about my journey as a bisexual woman with y'all, and one thing that I have said repeatedly on this podcast is I am more confident in bed with a woman than I am I am with a man. I don't know why that gets questioned so much. I do not understand how it could be any different for a woman who bangs women and men and people of all genders, but the fact is I am very confident and comfortable fucking a woman. I am pretty much in no other way confident with women. I can't ask them out. I don't know how to ask them out. I am not a pro-women. I am terrible at flirting with women. Making the first move Not good at that, guys. But if you were around a witness some of my attempts at a first move, I don't know if you'd be just disappointed in me or feel fucking bad for me. In the queer space I am not confident Most of the important ways, but when you get me in the bedroom, once I am in the bedroom with a woman, I am 100% confident. I am a good fucking lay. I am a good fucking lay.
Annette Benedetti:
I was talking to Abby and she was like why don't you just admit it? I try to be humble about it. I am like this is something that is cool to run around saying I am good at fucking her. I made her cum. Everyone rolls their eyes and says how would you know? Well, guys, I know there is only one woman at this point in time in the course of my fucking women that I can remember not making come. It was just a bad sex situation, I'm sure over the course of my life and my learning experience. There have been other women I haven't made come, but, generally speaking, in you know, the last whatever 10, 20 years I have been a pretty good lay and I will even lay claim to and have people that will admit after me fucking them for the first time. They hadn't been with other women. They they were officially queer. Yeah, I'm gonna own that. I'm gonna own that because I have to own the humiliation of being really bad and awkward in general, otherwise with women.
Annette Benedetti:
So after talking to Abby about it and deciding to stand up and own the fact that I'm really fucking good at fucking women, I thought to myself why would I not take the opportunity to not only announce it semi publicly because I'm only doing that here on triple X with my subscribers but beyond that, what I want to do is share with you, I think, the foundation of what makes me really good at fucking women. It's quite simple, but it's not. It's not because, again, if you are not someone with a vulva or if you're just not someone who's good at reading other people, I'm a really intuitive person and sometimes it's more of a curse than a blessing. The things I'm going to tell you that are going to proceed in this podcast aren't easy to get understand. Feel sense, because that is what you're going to have to do if you want to be really good at fucking women. This podcast is going to be me sharing with you not what I do, but how I know when what I'm doing is the right thing to be doing.
Annette Benedetti:
This podcast is literally about how to really know when she's about to come and, more importantly, when you're just doing something right and really know. It was interesting because I jumped on the internet, of course, to see what else was out there and I tried to look up signs that she's about to come, and you know what I found? It was a bunch of fucking articles that were just about how to tell if she's faking it. That is such a fucking upside down, backward way of addressing the faking issue. If we want women to stop faking orgasm, we need to teach the people who are fucking them how to give them pleasure, how to know they're giving them pleasure and then how to finish her off. You and I, listener, we're going to start down that path tonight. I may not be a certified fucking sex expert, but I'm just saying I have given many, many women multiple orgasms.
Annette Benedetti:
I hand a crushing bone, crushing multiple orgasms, and none of this is using toys, by the way, I want to preface this conversation with. I'm not going to be telling you how to use toys tonight. I'm not going to be telling you even how to use your cock, if you should have one. Tonight I'm going to be telling you how to use your hands and how to tell with your hands. The reason why I'm going to start there is because I think that the amazing thing about starting with your hands it's a good way to get to know another person's body, a woman's body in particular, a vulva owner's body in particular, anyone who has a vulva and a vaginal of vagina. Starting with your hands is the way to go because after you understand what to do with your hands, you can start to use your cock, if you have one, or dildo, if you have one, or toys, if you have one, or your tongue I assume you all have one to do some of the same things or to do a couple of different things at the same time. So let's just move on.
Annette Benedetti:
I want to get through the signs. Tonight the pussy will tell you and it's not and I like to use the word pussy, because for me, when I say pussy, I'm talking about the vulva, I'm talking about the outer clitoris, the inner clitoris, the vagina, the whole damn setup. And we're going to start with just talking about the pussy. Now there are other areas of the body I watch for and signs that are given that tell me what I'm doing is right. But I think my best guide is listening to the pussy. So tonight I am going to talk to you about how to listen to the pussy and some of the things the pussy will say to you if you are doing the right thing and also if she doesn't know how to tell you what she wants or if what you're doing is right. So, hey, guys, let's raise our glass, have a little evening cocktail together. Let's get ready to talk about good sex. Cheers Again. Tonight.
Annette Benedetti:
I'm not talking about techniques, but I do want to start off with. We're going to talk about using your hand, and if you are going to be using your hand in this case to apply what I'm going to teach you tonight, then I need to at least tell you how to start off using your hand. Number one wash your hands ahead of time, file your nails down, make them all sexy. I paint my fingernails. I always paint my fingernails if I know that I'm going to be using my fucking hand on a woman. I do have a fucking hand. It is my right hand. It has been through some crazy sex situations that's been almost crushed At one point. You can refer back to my I fisted it, girl, and I liked it episode.
Annette Benedetti:
It's preferable if your, if your hands are callous, free, especially the fingertips. If you are a musician, I don't know what to tell you, because it's really important to be able to feel what is going on underneath your hands. You are going to be exploring your partner's pussy with your hand, with me tonight, in order to feel what you need to feel. We aren't going straight to clits, we are feeling our whole outer vulva tonight and, as I said again, I will talk techniques next time. But let's just imagine we are so fucking thrilled to finally get to touch a beautiful person's pussy and we are like going to make most of it right. We want to really take it in. So we're gonna pet the outside of it, we're gonna feel the outer lips, we're gonna feel the inner lips and, as a woman, is getting excited, truly excited. Yes, tip number one, which is overdone and is not going to be.
Annette Benedetti:
Your best indicator is she will get wet. Now, there are so many things. Sexist, heterosexual men especially, are confused by this one. You expect every woman to get really wet if they're excited. There are a lot of things that can stop a woman from getting wet. It could be hormones, it could be, you know, she's just dehydrated. She's not someone who gets wet a lot. It is not the best indicator in the world. So if she's not getting wet, don't panic. Look for other things. If you've been playing with her pussy and you've been gentle and you've been doing the things and she isn't getting wet, don't look at her and go you aren't getting wet. Is something wrong? Don't don't do that. First of all, you should always have lube on hand, because it shouldn't stress her out. Her wetness shouldn't stress her out. It's sort of like if she is getting wet, that's great, that's a great sign for you. Man. Just be like yes, yes, that sign's here.
Annette Benedetti:
If she's not start feeling for other things right, and things that I notice right away when I'm on the track to pleasing her is, I will feel the vulva, and I'm not talking about the clit, I'm talking about the area around the clit, the vulva and the skin going into the vagina will begin to swell. Under my fingers I can feel it get puffy. Now, this isn't this massive movement that happens, but if you are paying attention to your partner's body, if you are listening to their vulva, if you are listening to I'm clapping over here how passionate I am if you're listening to their vulva, who is going to be trying to speak to you? That is one of the best signs that she's getting turned on. That vulva will start to get puffy and swell if you start to dip your fingers into the vaginal opening. That's right around where you're gonna be finding the quote G spot One of my most favorite signs, cause I think it's just so fucking sexy.
Annette Benedetti:
Is that area maybe the G spot? I don't get caught up in? Is that the G spot? But you know, I slide my two fingers in around and hook them just to very gently like wake up that vaginal opening and see if it's ready and interested in being penetrated. And when I feel that area under my two fingers swell, puff up, push against it and it will do it. It's so. It's such a slight movement that, my friend, that is the welcome. Welcome. It's a welcome map being rolled out for you.
Annette Benedetti:
Now what I don't do when I feel that swelling, which almost always also goes along with some sort of wetness, what I don't do is start pounding her. I absolutely don't do that. I usually take the wetness from the inside and then use it to, like, go back to the outer part of the vulva and, like, make sure that it's also waking up and staying excited. So I've walked you through two things right away. Possible lubrication it is the weakest of all of your indicators. Secondly, there is going to be puffiness. There is going to be sort of an expanding of tissues down there as they get excited. There is going to be swelling of the tissues that run along the side of the bean, you know where the little clit head comes out and down into the vagina and then right inside the vagina that area gets nice and puffy and excited.
Annette Benedetti:
Big, important signs. They require you paying a lot of attention. Now here's another one that I think people don't often read. Well, people think that when they feel muscles contracting down there, that that is the orgasm. That's not necessarily an orgasm. When a woman or someone with a vulva is getting really excited, sometimes there will be twitching and spasming of the vaginal muscles in the vagina. Now, that is not necessarily an orgasm. So don't stop there. Don't start pounding her harder unless she asks for it. But know that that's a really, really, really good sign.
Annette Benedetti:
I like to treat those as a signal to start really talking to her about what she wants. I love my sexy talk. Most of the time with another woman or another person with a vulva is all consent talk. I do it in a very dummy way. I like to make them say the things they want, which is done through a consent type back and forth. Do you want this, tell me? Tell me you want it, tell me how good it feels In my mind. Even if, well, maybe that is an orgasm, I'm going to keep fucking her anyways. I like to shoot for a couple of orgasms if possible and if her body will hold up.
Annette Benedetti:
But I never assume that the twitches unless there are all the other signs or she's saying I'm coming is an actual orgasm. There are precursor. They're like what would you when there's an earthquake, what do you call those little rumblings that come in advance before the full on earthquake? Whatever that word is for them, that's what they are. So that's another great sign. When she starts getting all twitchy down there, the muscles she doesn't really have control over, that is another really great sign.
Annette Benedetti:
Now here is my favorite sign, and it does not happen all of the time. In fact, I think I've only had this experience with two vulva owners, maybe three. So it's something I want to explore more because I have to tell you this is, for me, this is the most exciting and satisfying thing a woman's vagina will do when it is about to come, and I mean it's a pretty much a sure sign she is about to come. It's called vaginal tenting or ballooning, and I'm surprised at how little good literature there is about it out there, because it is fucking insane. I don't think my body has ever done this and I don't know. Can everybody do it? I don't know.
Annette Benedetti:
But what happens when a woman's really excited and this is something else, though I guess this is two little tips in one, wrapped in the vagina will actually lengthen, the uterus will lift up in the, I would say, cervix and uterus lift up in a woman's body. The vaginal canal lengthens, and you can feel some of that with your hands. Maybe you're cock, I don't know. I don't have one Little bit jealous. I want a real cock for one day, just to see what it's like. You can feel some of that movement, the stretching, expanding with your fingers when you are a fucking woman, but when she tense, when she balloons, that is profound and you can feel it happen. You can feel her vagina go from just being, you know, the typical canal you stick your fingers up in and you know there's flesh that wraps around your fingers and it will. Suddenly it's almost as though someone just blew air into her vagina and it turned into a balloon in there. Those walls expand immensely but you know, at the obviously at the entrance, it stays tight and becomes smooth, like you can wave your fingers around in there and it is, oh my God, it is like one of the most exciting experiences, I think, with a woman, because also she at this point is reacting in a fantastic way.
Annette Benedetti:
Also, if a woman is into fisting or having more fingers or whatever it may be, this is a great time to start asking about do you want me, do you want to feel fuller? Do you want me to add a finger? Please ask about adding fingers. Do not ever fist a woman without permission, without her specifically inviting you in that way. Please, please, don't do that. That would be such an awful, awful experience for a woman. But that, my God, guys, that is the sign. I know men especially get super excited about people squirting, like they think squirting is like the sign that you are the best lover in the whole world.
Annette Benedetti:
I would argue hard against squirting necessarily being a sign of much, although, although I would be remiss not to note squirting in this podcast, because I have definitely been with women who squirt and squirting, I never assume squirting as an orgasm. Can we all be clear on that? Go back to my podcast on squirting. Definitely have been with a lot of women who squirt before they've had an orgasm. So don't, don't, don't stop. If she squirts, okay, don't stop, keep going. But I'm telling you right now, vaginal tinting and ballooning is way, way hotter, sexier, oh my fucking God. Then squirting that, my friend, if you feel a vagina, do that. You pfft, you deserve a little pat on your back, a little celebration. So let's go over it. We're gonna sum it up and call it a night.
Annette Benedetti:
These are just the basic things and I don't know, maybe you think they're 101, but judging by the number of people I've had sex with, who clearly didn't know how to really read those signs, listen to them and then proceed from there. Y'all haven't learned how to read the pussy like it were braille. Okay, lubrication it is the smallest indicator out there, right? Bring lube. Bring lube and actually applying lube will help you feel the swelling, the growing, the puffiness happening in real time. The puffiness shouldn't be something that you are only aware of after it's there. It is something you should feel happening. And when you feel it happening, that's when you are gonna add in techniques. You're going to be in conversation with her about what's feeling good. You're gonna go deeper. You're gonna ask her if she wants more. That's what's gonna happen.
Annette Benedetti:
I will, in an upcoming podcast, talk to you about my approach to these different signs, how I end up eventually in a fisting situation. Should that be what she wants? Okay, alright, lube it up, watch for that. Listen for the tremors. The tremors, right, feel. I say listen, but listen with your hands. Feel for the tremors. There's going to be contractions going on down there. She gets excited. She may bear down on her own with you know her pelvic floor. She may actually move it against you in excitement. I know that when I wanna come, I will actually push down with my pelvic floor for more sensation. So feel for the tremors, the little contractions that are probably not an orgasm could be, but do not breathe them as an orgasm.
Annette Benedetti:
If she squirts a little bit, that could be a great sign. It could be another good indicator, unless you go back and listen to the podcast on squirting. If you're in there like beating the shit out of her vagina to try and get her to squirt, it's not a good sign. It's not a good thing to do. Don't do that unless she asks for it. And then the fucking, the heavens bells, the sirens screaming at you that she is definitely about to have an orgasm she will not forget is the vaginal tending. Now you may not get a full balloon effect, but feel for that expansion, feel for that broadening and widening. That is not an indicator, like the fucking patriarchy will say that she's loose, that she's a whore. It's a fucking indicator. You're doing something right. Okay, it's a good thing when a woman opens up, when a woman's pussy opens up to you and invites you in, it is a beautiful, wonderful thing, and it means you are definitely very likely to make her come.
Annette Benedetti:
Listen to pussy. That's what I got for you tonight, folks. It has worked for me. It's worked well for me. It's how I find my way. Now, obviously, reading signs and following them is only part of being a good lover or a pleasuring woman. There are plenty of other things that I do that I think make me pretty good fucking lay, but we're not gonna talk about that right now. I think we're gonna stop here Now.
Annette Benedetti:
What I would love for you guys to do is, if you have questions, comments, if you have your own indicators I didn't mention here and I'm only talking about the pussy right now. So don't send me an email and say, well, what about our breath or what about? You know what I mean? Like, we're talking about the pussy. If you have been listening to pussy and it has told you something else, share with the team, will you? Don't be selfish, don't be stingy, okay.
Annette Benedetti:
The other thing I would like to ask of you, my dedicated listener, is I want to start having my listeners get more involved. I want to start taking questions. I want to start finding the answers that y'all want to know, whether it's about your own body, whether it's about your partner's body, whether it's about what to do in bed. I don't care if it's about a kink you're thinking of and you're wondering. If you're weird, I don't care. I want you to send your questions and your thoughts to me. I will hunt down an expert to get us the answers.
Annette Benedetti:
If I don't feel like I have enough information to give you an answer directly, I will find the right person to ask, I will find the right friend to discuss and I will get your shit answered. So I want you to write down your comments, more importantly, your questions, and I want you to send them to annette at she explores life. I love my listener letters. I love your input. I want to get you the information you need to be more fulfilled sexually and to fulfill others sexually better. So until next time, listener, I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.
