Age Play: From Daddy & Mommy Doms to Littles. WTH Is Age Play All About?

Ever wondered about the world of age play and the use of terms like 'daddy' and 'mommy' in exploring our sexual fantasies? Locker Room Talk & Shots Podcast is thrilled to have Miss Chris, an internationally renowned disciplinarian, and expert in the field, with us to unravel the often misunderstood and taboo aspects of age play. Find out how age play differs from pedophilia and consensual non-consent, and discover the stress-relieving benefits it can bring to consenting adults.

Together with Miss Chris, Host Annette Benedetti journeys through the various subsets of age play, including the intriguing world of ABDLs (adult baby diaper lovers), and the unique dynamics of a mommy-daddy-infant relationship. Uncover the reasons behind age play interests and the use of props to help get into the right headspace. Our enlightening conversation is a must-listen for anyone curious about this fascinating subculture.

Find out more about Miss Chriss here: https://www.missschris.com/
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https://talksexwithannette.com/home/sex-relationship-and-intimacy-coaching/

Email: annette@talksexwithannette.com

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Transcript

Annette Benedetti: 1:04

Hi, this is Annette Vinedetti, your hostess for a locker room talk and shots, the podcast that likes to think of itself as the queer NPR of raunchy women's sex talk. You are about to sit in on the kind of conversations women have on their girls' nights out or behind closed doors, while enjoying delicious drinks and dishing about sex, think fun, honest and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy, one orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's locker room talk and shots topic is age play from daddy and mommy doms to little girls and everything in between. What the fuck are littles and age play all about? I'm excited about this topic. I mean, i'm usually excited about all the topics, but this one is really personally interesting to me because, as I've shared with my listeners, like I may throw out a daddy with my partner here and there and often, but definitely in a different way than what we're going to talk about today, and I think a lot of people actually use the term daddy and mommy and in their own dynamic without and then tiptoe around this role playing, age play, littles, doms, stuff because they don't understand it. There's fear that it's weird or dirty or means something bad And fortunately I have brought someone here to clear it all up for us. She has all the answers, or at least a good amount of them, and she is a returning guest.

Annette Benedetti: 2:50

If you haven't listened to my podcast on spank therapy, first of all, what are you doing with your free time? because that one was great and very helpful in my life. We have with us Miss Chris, internationally recognized disciplinarian. She's a toy maker, a life coach and an educator and mentor in the spanking arts and now age play, and while I was interviewing her for the spank therapy podcast, she had shared with me that she in her own life has mommy Dom, little girl relationship, and so she offered to address this topic with me, which is exciting, because I had been looking for someone to do that. I felt very lucky that I have found someone who is, you know, so knowledgeable and professional and really can give us the answers you know you want. So, miss Chris, will you just read for people who haven't listened to that podcast, can you reintroduce yourself?

Miss Chris: 3:52

Sure, my name, my C name, is Miss Chris. Anybody can call me Chris, except for my bottoms in session, but I will respond to both. I am a professional disciplinarian, which means I discipline and punish for a living. As part of my job duties, i do a tremendous amount of role play in my sessions, and one of the types of role play that I focus on and that a goodly many of my clients want to experience is age play.

Miss Chris: 4:30

Age play is a type of role play in which one assumes the age of somebody younger. Perhaps sometimes somebody might actually want to assume the age of somebody older as well. We call that elder play, and we're not going to focus on elder play today. We're going to focus on age play, focusing on the myriad number of roles within the age play community. I myself am something called a mommy dummy, that is, a mom, dom or a dominant maternal figure. When I do age play, i usually stay my own age. Occasionally I might want to be a grandmother as opposed to a mother. You can think of some of the reasons why somebody might want to be a grandmother as opposed to a mother. Grandmothers are very spoiling. For instance, mothers tend to raise their children with discipline and with love, and those, the two tenants that age play is based on, is disciplining out of love and nurturing.

Annette Benedetti: 5:56

Yeah, so well, there's the basis of what we're heading into, so let's just get into it. Ms Chris, we're going to give you kind of an overview of what age play is. I think we're going to it's a lot folks. I started researching and I was like, what did I sign myself up for? And then, but we were going to kind of delve into specifically kind of more the daddy, mommy, dom and little discussion. I'm having coffee today, cheers, let's start talking about some age play. All right, so I'm kind of going to hand the discussion over to you And of course I have questions for you along the way. But I think maybe again just starting with the overarching discussion of what is age play, what all does it encompass, and then we will drill down into kind of our specific angle.

Miss Chris: 6:56

Okay, so age play. We use the term age play to refer to any kind of play in which somebody age regresses or takes on a role that is younger than them. In particular, it is a type of BDSM play that is basically focused on all the yummy feel goods that we might have in a perfect childhood The nurturing, the love, yes, the control, yes, the guidance, yes, the discipline, and sometimes even punishment when somebody does something wrong. But basically, we're taking, we're using the terms dominant and submissive and we're using, in place of those, we're using the term mommy, dummy and little girl Just two different terms to mean basically the same thing The people on the S side of the slash of the DS. Slash the dominance and submissive slash.

Annette Benedetti: 8:10

And can I really quickly ask, verify as we move into this conversation is this dynamic always sexual? Is sex play always present? What are the options there?

Miss Chris: 8:22

Absolutely not. Sex is not expected in this type of play. It is. Sometimes some people include sex. We call that dark age play, but age play, first and foremost, is non-sexual. There are people again who choose to move into the sexual realm with this, but for the most part this is a non-sexual type of BDSM play.

Annette Benedetti: 8:51

Oh, interesting. All right, with that said, would you say that the dark age play, because I do think that happens quite a bit where sex is brought into it. Is that a healthy thing, an unhealthy thing, or how would you because I think that's a question in a lot of people's mind Is it fucked up? if I wanna do this? What's your thought, right?

Miss Chris: 9:18

Okay, so fundamentally we are talking about two grown adults who are interested in taking on different roles. Now you might be familiar with some role play in the bedroom the French maid and the master of the house, or some interesting types of role plays that we like to incorporate our fantasies with. Dark age play is the addition of darker themes within the age play category. So we've got the BDSM umbrella and under the BDSM umbrella there's all these kinks and interests and fetishes. Under the BDSM umbrella we have age play. Age play is a type of role play And fundamentally we are not talking about actually playing with children. Nowhere in this equation do we ever actually play with children. I wanna make that very, very clear. We are two grown adults choosing consensually to engage in a form of fantasy play that may or may not include sex.

Annette Benedetti: 10:36

Okay, right, and so what is the difference between, let's say, in my sexual relationship, where I wouldn't say age play really is happening at all, but maybe I call my partner daddy or mommy, sometimes, instead of sir or the different? you see what I'm saying the difference between that calling your partner daddy, mommy, sir, what they're a different master, different BDSM names versus when someone's calling their partner daddy and now we're into age play. Where is that? is that our clear line? Is it a blurry line? What are your thoughts on that?

Miss Chris: 11:19

It's a relatively blurry line. I know some people who describe themselves in various ways. They might describe themselves as a sadist, in which case we know that that person likes to inflict pain. Okay, we might hear the term top be thrown around. Top is a purely physical role that somebody on the dominant side takes when they just want to be the top. We're not talking about any control, any emotion or anything like that. The term master kind of goes with the term slave And again we're talking about a different subset of people here. All of these definitions have slight variations when it comes to intent.

Miss Chris: 12:16

When we come to a term like mommy-dommie or daddy-dom, we see the dom in both terms mommy-dommie, daddy-dom. We look at the dom and we say in our heads dominant. Okay, this is the dominant person, this is the one in control, this is the one doing. Okay. The opposite side of that daddy-dom is little girl or girl. Mommy-dommie can be little boy, little girl For the purpose of this conversation we will focus on girls here But it's a dominant who takes on the role of a mother. Now, a dominant who does not take on the role of a mother might not exhibit or express maternal feelings. They might not express nurturing feelings They might not express, child rearing All of these are different sort of flavors to the mommy-dommie dynamic.

Annette Benedetti: 13:30

That makes sense sort of Yes yes, it does make sense quite a bit, and so why would people want to engage in this specific dynamic? the mommy-dom, daddy-dom, little girl, little boy, what? who is this little boy? Little girl, little boy? what brings people to have an interest in that dynamic? Right?

Miss Chris: 13:57

well, let's ask ourselves first, what brings people into the BDSM realm? BDSM bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism. What brings people into the lifestyle? Well, it's a desire to give up control. It's a desire to live in a fantasy world where you create your own rules. It is a place where you can freely submit and not have to worry about being subjugated submitting freely, consensually. So people play. We use the term play to mean the activities that somebody in the BDSM world does. So people will play with spanking, people will play with whips, people will play with rope, and in this case we are playing with age, and we're literally playing with the parameters of somebody who might be younger.

Annette Benedetti: 15:02

Right, right. And so what would bring people to? that would just be whatever their need is within, whether wanting to relinquish control or take control, and how that makes them feel.

Miss Chris: 15:17

Specifically, the age play community takes all the good stuff that you get from dominating and you add that maternal or nurturing component to it. So I like to ask people do you like being taken care of? If the answer is yes, how do you like being taken care of? That question will tell you about what age you identify with. Let's say that you're a college age kid, which is younger than your biological age, because that is age play as well, because, remember, we're playing with any roles that are younger or age regression from your chronological age. So we look back at your chronological age at different points in your childhood. What are your needs as a child when you're 15? Well, you might need someone to provide you the food, the shelter, the rules, okay, and you might need somebody to then discipline you. Should you not be doing what you were supposed to be doing as that kid?

Annette Benedetti: 16:44

That makes sense. Yeah, yeah, here are some of the things that happen during these kinds of scenes. I want to start with scenes and then move into more of. Okay, now this when this expands into a relationship what does that look like? But let's start with a scene. And for listeners who are new to this, a scene is a, an agreed upon set of time, maybe an hour or two hours, where two people come together with a plan for what their play sexual interaction or otherwise is going to entail. Feel free, my definition is I'm surely not as good as one that you could give, but I would like to start there with what happens in age play during a scene with someone else.

Miss Chris: 17:37

Okay. So let's take an example and I have got a 24 by 7, 365 relationship mommy-dami relationship with my wife. Her name is Jenny And we started doing age play very, very organically way, way back around 15 years ago when we first met And our scenes would involve the following She tended to identify most with around the age of eight In her head. She wanted a mommy who would take care of her, who would love her, who would read her stories, who would play dolls with her, who would make her favorite foods for her, tuck her into bed and, yes, spank her when she's misbehaved. So this might be a typical scene for us And as mommy-dami, i'm the one in control and I treat her like she's eight years old. We have a non-sexual age play relationship, so sex doesn't ever come into our scene play.

Miss Chris: 19:04

So what we mostly focus on is little's activities that we can do together, age-appropriate little's activities. So again, story time. We play a lot of games, we watch a lot of kids' movies, we do a lot of Disney, we do Build-A-Bear. We will basically do just regular activities as if she were an eight-year-old. For her it's a real mental vacation Being able to express your inner child, being able to tap into your inner child is amazingly stress-releasing. Not having to worry about your daily life, your daily struggles, having to take that mental vacation where all you have to do is worry about being an eight-year-old, you don't have to worry about any of the adult things that's got you bothered. It is literally a mental vacation. It's like reading a book. You create these characters in your head and you follow the characters on a storyline. In this scene, we create our own characters. Her character happens to be eight, my character happens to be mom And we just pretend as if we're mommy and daughter.

Annette Benedetti: 21:26

And what do you get out of it as a mommy-dom, or would a daddy-dom get out of it? out of curiosity, right?

Miss Chris: 21:33

Right, I don't have any biological children. That was a choice that I made a long time ago And I've had to be okay with that. But there is something missing. I have identified that there is an experience missing in my life that of having a child. However, I have got lots of littles and I can parent them, I can rear them in the space of our scenes, in the space of our dynamic. So that sort of tickles the mommy gene in me And it makes me feel like I'm helping somebody grow and evolve.

Annette Benedetti: 22:23

What do you have? littles that want the sexual part of it as well.

Miss Chris: 22:33

I'm sure I have littles clients who would like a more sexual session. I do not offer any sexual services in my list of services that I offer, so that's not really on the table. As far as my personal submissives are concerned, none of my personal submissives are sexual, at least they're not with me. But if I were to be a sexual age player, a dark age player, i wouldn't have any problems incorporating that because, again, we're two grown adults, we are both consenting adults and we're just choosing to play pretend.

Annette Benedetti: 23:24

Right. I guess that's kind of For people who have that curiosity, either interest in that, or people who are mortified by it and think it means something bad. I'm trying to come back to clarifying that, even for myself and my own brain. I think what I have learned in my own journey with this podcast BDSM World, my own fetishes it is a journey in your brain to understand things like this or any of it you know any of it and unlocking a lot of conditioning. So I guess that's why I keep coming back to that. What if this? Because I do think for a lot of people it includes sex or some sexual touch.

Miss Chris: 24:16

So let's talk about the elephant in the room here. People who hear about this kind of play think it's got to do with pedophilia, and that could not be further from the truth.

Annette Benedetti: 24:31

Or maybe what they fear is that the person who wants to do that is feeding some pedophilia type need.

Miss Chris: 24:43

Okay, let's think about what a pedophilia actually is. So a pedophilia is somebody who is sexually attracted to children, actual children. That's what a pedophile is. A pedophile tends to not be attracted to grown adults. They're attracted to children. That's why they're pedophiles. So two grown adults playing with age is not a forerunner to pedophilia. It doesn't mean that you secretly want to be with children. There's a very clear definition. Pedophiles are attracted sexually to children. We are not children, we are grown adult acting like children, and there's a huge difference between that.

Annette Benedetti: 25:39

Right, absolutely. That does make sense, because most often the people who are playing at this, i mean, don't even look remotely like children.

Miss Chris: 25:52

Not at all right, not at all, not at all, not at all, not childlike at all. I also liken this to actors. Pretend you're an actor and you got a role that you played a pedophile. Did acting as a pedophile make you a pedophile?

Annette Benedetti: 26:30

Yeah, no, no.

Miss Chris: 26:33

I mean, the actor who plays a pedophile does not absorb any of the pedophile traits. It is literally a role, a make believe role, that they are playing in the actor's instance to get paid, but in our instance it's to have fun. We're just taking on a role, just like an actor, right?

Annette Benedetti: 26:56

And I think very little difference. I think if you also think about and it seems, interestingly enough, more well accepted is, i think they call it and you might know the name for this a little bit better the consensual, non-consensual sex, so people who want to act out being forced. And this is or some people even just call it primal, which is you know, but No primal is totally different.

Miss Chris: 27:24

Primal is different than consensual non-consent. Consensual non-consent is basically you're taking on a role. Again with the taking on a role, you're taking on a role of a non-consenting partner, Right, Okay. So again we're talking about roles here, We're talking about acting.

Annette Benedetti: 27:44

Right. And so I think, if and I think I do think the whole non-consensual role play, being forced, wanting to be kind of forced or like severely forced or sexually assaulted in some way, is pretty common in a lot Very common.

Annette Benedetti: 28:06

Even in the vanilla world people play with that Absolutely And seem to be able to accept it and not be freaked out by it. So if you can just take that perspective and move it to now, people wanting this different type of role play and realizing that doesn't mean at all that in the real world they want, the same thing Exactly.

Miss Chris: 28:37

Yeah, definitely Yeah. And I always go back to it's a role, it's make-believe, it's pretend. Does me role-playing me being an alien? does that make me an alien? No, of course not. And it's again it's taking on a role. Now why might we want to take on that role? Why might we want to be forced to do something? That's a big, interesting question. It comes up very frequently in because I'm a professional spanker. Spanking is a form of consensual non-consent, because you're consenting beforehand to going through an experience that looks non-consensual.

Annette Benedetti: 29:25

Right, right, and I think then I guess the next question would be is and again, let's go back to the fact that H-Play doesn't always include sex, which I guess I had before we got into this conversation. I hadn't wrapped my mind around that totally, because I've seen it mostly in that vein. But for people that do want it to include sex, then people would be like well, but why would someone desire to take on the role of a daddy who would sexually play with his daughter in said case?

Miss Chris: 30:12

So thoughts on that Taboo the term taboo is applied to anything that we as a society doesn't deem right And things that are taboo, also called dark. Taboo themes are very popular for storytellers And there's a whole section of BDSM play revolving around taboo themes and taboo elements. Why do people like horror films so much? I love horror films.

Annette Benedetti: 31:01

I came up with a horror movie.

Miss Chris: 31:02

buff Why do you like?

Annette Benedetti: 31:04

something that horrifies you. Yeah, that is a good question. I've been asked that a lot. Yeah, i mean it's something. Yeah, i don't know. I like the scary. Why do people rubber knit?

Miss Chris: 31:17

Why do people rubber knit? Why do people rubber knit? They can't look away. It's so horrible, they can't look away, and sometimes we need permission to look. Yeah, what an interesting thought We need permission to experience some of the darker themes in life, because if we were normal, nobody would want to Right. Yeah, absolutely.

Annette Benedetti: 31:46

I think also when we're young we do, and something that people don't want to talk about, but is I mean common knowledge and taught in psychology, of aging and stuff like that is we're essential creatures from the time we're born And we begin to experience sexual pleasure from a very young age, right, and then we're shamed for it.

Annette Benedetti: 32:12

Exactly And so and it is our youth is a very sensual time and our bodies are waking up and really feeling the sensations, and we're not allowed to and we're shamed for it. So it would make sense to me as well that people would want to like recapture that Exactly.

Miss Chris: 32:35

You know, a younger time is a time of innocence and purity And some people want to reach out to us and some people want to retry and recapture that sense of innocence and purity and the sense that they're going and learning about their bodies for the very first time.

Annette Benedetti: 32:53

Yeah, i guess, when I think back to it, like it was a time of innocence and purity and that things, the sensual things that I would feel in my body, were exciting and colorful and didn't have all the shame and crap and weirdness that would very quickly be placed upon it. Then, of course, leading two years of me trying to undo that so I could reaccess pleasure, oftentimes I've wondered why when I was younger my body would, like you know, obviously a lot of kids touch themselves and masturbate and I was certainly no different, and it was very easy for me to feel pleasure. And then by the time I was quote allowed to have sex in my, you know, late teens and 20s, i couldn't access that pleasure anymore.

Miss Chris: 34:31

My body had kind of shut down You know, because societally, we've been told that our bodies are dirty and sex is dirty and pleasure is dirty. And again we go back to our dark themes. This is why we like to play with darkness, This is why we like to play with these themes that are quote abnormal or not normal. Yeah, And going back to a period of childhood, back before we were so loaded up with baggage, as an adult, you know, you could experience pleasure so much more simply and so much more authentically.

Annette Benedetti: 35:17

Right. Well, so now is when I want to move into the takeaway section of this podcast. So, for people who tuned in because not just because they're like what the fuck is this about And I think it's a bad thing, but people who are like, oh, I'm kind of playing with it in my head And I'd like to start experimenting, Can we talk about how you could start dipping your toe in the water without it being too scary or, you know, making you feel weird about yourself? What are some of those first steps towards initiating that within your own relationship?

Miss Chris: 35:54

Well, the first thing that you have to do is converse about it. You've got to have a conversation, that you know. These are some of the things that I want to move into. Once you're both on the same page, that, hey, you know, this might be something that we want to try. I would definitely start with a small scene. You don't have to know anything, you don't have to be any approximate age or anything like that. I would encourage people to do a little storytelling. Take on a character, take on a daddy dom, take on a mommy domi and just talk a scene out. With the little, you'll find out a lot more information about what they're after and you can tailor their age play according to their age, age-ish, their expressed age.

Annette Benedetti: 36:48

So figuring out the age first might be important, would you say.

Miss Chris: 36:54

Yeah, i would absolutely. People ask me how do they figure out their general age? And, first of all, your non-chronological age can change at any time. You can wake up feeling five. the next day, you wake up feeling 12. It's not a static thing, but some people do settle into an age range And usually it's based on activity. What activities do you really like doing? So if, let's say, you wanted to get more involved in age play with your partner, i would have a discussion about roles and I would have a discussion about activities. Is there something that you really loved to do when you were a kid? I would start there.

Annette Benedetti: 37:42

Do some people go? and so I'm wondering if this is a different kink or if it's in the same umbrella of age play. I've seen things that include like diaper play and stuff like that. Do some people go to that place?

Miss Chris: 37:58

Absolutely. Age play includes everybody from birth all the way up to as old as you wanna play. And there is a subset of age players called ABDLs and that stands for adult baby diaper lovers And that is a subset. That's again. we've got the BDSM umbrella and then we've got a niche over here for age play. Within age play you've got a lot of different, a lot of different subsets within that. So we're talking about ABDLs and something that a lot of people, a lot of people out is pretending to be a baby, infantilism. And you have to understand what a dynamic a mommy-dommy infant dynamic might look like. It's gonna be a lot of diapers. It's gonna be a lot of changing. It's going to be a lot of nurturing, a lot of love, not a lot of language. The age player doesn't have to speak, doesn't have to do anything. Mommy dotes on him all day long. Mommy feeds him, changes him, puts him down from naps. All he has to do is be a baby.

Annette Benedetti: 39:31

Oh, it's like the ultimate break from adulting.

Miss Chris: 39:36

Reality, exactly The ultimate break from reality. Why would you want to be a baby? Well, having somebody do it on you hand and foot, give you whatever you wanted whenever you wanted it, that sounds pretty good to me. I don't even have to worry about my bodily functions. Mommy takes care of that for me. So it's a very, very. You are relinquishing all of your control. You're relinquishing control of your language. You're relinquishing control of your body. You're definitely relinquishing control of your mind, because babies don't really think, they just react.

Annette Benedetti: 40:27

Right.

Miss Chris: 40:28

Somebody who was denied love, denied affection, somebody who was somebody who wasn't parented very well, somebody who didn't have any discipline growing up, had no boundaries. These types of people might really, really love the feeling of it, of being, of what being a baby is all alike. And, of course, for people like me mommy, dommies, who, who, who never raised a child on my own, taking care of a baby is very sweet. It's a very sweet and nurturing form of play that just makes me feel good.

Annette Benedetti: 41:14

Right? Does age play also under this umbrella? Is there a sibling play?

Miss Chris: 41:21

Absolutely, absolutely. So it doesn't necessarily have to be a parental figure. Age play scene could be two siblings, one older than the other. It could be yeah, believe it or not. I like to change things up quite a bit And I've actually known some age players who were the topy types of their dynamics And the mommy Dommies and the daddy Doms were the submissives. How would it seem like that work? Tell me, okay, so let's say that you have a really bratty, spoiled, rotten child and a parent who is willing to give into that child at any time. That child can throw a temper tantrum And they are in control of the parents.

Annette Benedetti: 42:27

Interesting.

Miss Chris: 42:31

So you're making a traditional role, because typically parents are in charge of their kids And you're basically saying, nope, today's day and age is more like the other way around The kids are in charge.

Annette Benedetti: 42:46

Yeah, that's interesting. Okay, so you have talked to your partner And you have decided that you want to dip your toe in the water, that you notice, you get excited at the idea whether, while listening to this podcast or you stumble across like porn or even just documentaries on it, because I've obviously done that And you think, oh, i kind of got excited by that. Just try and figure out your age. And I think it's important to note, listener, that Ms Chris did say that age can fluctuate So you don't have to like commit to an age, don't?

Miss Chris: 43:32

have to commit to anything, nothing.

Annette Benedetti: 43:37

And you need props right.

Miss Chris: 43:41

Absolutely. Props are great. I recommend props for any kind of role play that you do, especially age play. The props help put you into the headspace. So I have got some outfits that I call my mommy outfits. Whenever I get into one of my mommy outfits I feel like mommy. And the accoutrements let's say that I've got a baby of a client. So it would be important to have maybe diapers, maybe a pacifier, maybe a set of children's plateware or dishes and cutlery. I might want to have some baby food on hand Baby powder, baby oil, you know as much stuff as you can get that is true and authentic, the more real that scene is going to be for you, right, and a lot of these things don't cost a lot of money. You don't need to put together an adult nursery You don't I mean some people do But a couple of well placed items and you can buy those items just about anywhere Etsy, and Etsy is fantastic for age play, clothes, right Clothes Etsy and Amazon, etsy and Amazon.

Annette Benedetti: 46:14

It yeah, clothing costuming makes sense to me. So can I ask you in your personal life, because you do have a full time relationship that has this element to it Do you have rooms in your specific rooms in your house that are set up? No, i don't.

Miss Chris: 46:31

Now, my wife used to have a little princess room So whenever we did age play we would go into her little princess room and we would, we would play there. But she has matured now. She's got an adult room now. So we don't necessarily have a room in our house that's dedicated.

Annette Benedetti: 46:52

No, Can I ask, did she literally mature through the play and out of the room?

Miss Chris: 47:01

No, not at all. She, she, she had a rough childhood. She was a victim of domestic violence and child abuse, and her parents were never very loving with her. We're never very nurturing with her, and so when we started, it just sort of organically came about that she started calling me mama, and the longer we are age players we have found, the younger she actually gets in those age places. She started out about eight, now she's about six. She seems to be getting younger and younger and younger as the time goes on. She's really settling into her age, though, and she knows the activities that that age group does And she really identifies with that.

Annette Benedetti: 48:02

Do you think that this dynamic is more common for people who have childhood trauma or were lacking some sort of nurturing?

Miss Chris: 48:17

That's really hard for me to say. I'm not a licensed therapist or counselor, doctor or anything like that. In my experience, though in my experience, i get an awful lot of people who either were abused growing up or were ignored completely growing up I would say the people who were ignored growing up tend to be more enthusiastic about this kind of play, just like Jenny was. She was trying to recreate all the feel goods from childhood that she never got a chance to experience herself.

Annette Benedetti: 49:01

So we have focused a lot on the little in this situation And before we close out, i do want to talk also about, i guess, the big or the Dom, the daddy and the mommy in this situation, because there are plenty of people who want that role and instigate it from that side. So can we talk about that role a little bit and different things or reasons that might bring a person to want that?

Miss Chris: 49:29

Obviously, you had a very specific reason, but I have a very specific reason because I like to feel the feel goods associated with child rearing that I didn't get. But this is a way to stay underneath the kinky umbrella and to do it based more out of love. Not that master, slave, dominance, submissive to top, bottom. Not that there's no love with those roles or those definitions, but there's a lot more love built in to daddy, dom or mommy, dummy role. You're not trying to subjugate somebody like a master slave might try and subjugate a slave. You're not inflicting pain like a sadist would on a masochist. You're not just spanking to spank like a top to a bottom And the dominant is built into the role, the dominant part. So all these various definitions, these different flavors of being a dominant, none of them are as heavy on the love and nurturing side as this one is.

Annette Benedetti: 50:46

Okay, that's interesting. That makes sense to me that this role is more of a nurture or a guide or a even the disciplinarian Yes, about doing something that is the best for the other person, and people might enjoy being able to do that with another person, especially someone who they're intimate with in their life. All right, well, so, from either side, if you are interested in this dynamic, it all starts like every other thing that has to do with good sex, with a conversation and agreement, and I and it sounds like and it makes sense you'd start with a small amount of time, maybe half hour or hour. Do you have an amount of time? you would suggest someone setting a scene for 15 minutes.

Miss Chris: 51:44

Really that's enough time. You can set a scene in 15 minutes. Sit down and read a story. By the time you get to the end of the story, you'll probably be. Somebody will probably be in little's headspace.

Annette Benedetti: 51:56

That's. You know that's a great advice. So I will be honest with you. I have had nearly zero interest in true like role playing. People have wanted me to role play a lot and I just feel really awkward in that role playing space. I don't know what it is about it, that just feels like I feel awkward. But I had never thought to myself, oh, i could do 15 minutes of this, whatever the role would be. You would be shocked at how many times I have been asked to be a mommy domed person throughout my dating life. But yeah, i mean, i guess it. You know it's like running, right, you don't go out and run six miles or a marathon you start with going around the block.

Miss Chris: 52:44

And if 15 minutes is too daunting, do it for five. Doesn't even have to be for 15. You can do little mini vignettes, little mini scenes, and it just gets your foot wet. you just dipping your toe into the water. Read a story and see how it makes you feel.

Annette Benedetti: 53:07

Yeah, that's brilliant. Get a couple. get a couple of koo trimmings I like that you call them that. I definitely think you know, whenever you're going to get sexy with someone, you, what you wear, can really influence how you feel in a sexual situation. So and this is even when there's not, so to be clear, even when there's not actual sex happening, it's considered a sexual situation. Am I right? Am I wrong? Age play In the sense that that in the sense that BDSM is sexual.

Miss Chris: 53:49

Okay, bdsm can be sexual or non sexual, but most people get into BDSM for the sex Right right.

Annette Benedetti: 54:00

And it scratches an itch. Even if you don't actually physically do the sex, it scratches an itch. That is sensual, right, Or a part of that sensuality inside of you.

Miss Chris: 54:15

Absolutely, absolutely Yeah.

Annette Benedetti: 54:17

All right, i think we've kind of explained it, guys. I feel like I've got a better understanding of what age play is, specifically in the mommy, daddy, dom, little girl, little boy dynamic. I think that you did a wonderful job of explaining. This is not pedophilia, it doesn't even come close to it It doesn't even come close, guys, don't even come close. Right, Even though someone might want to be in that mommy or daddy Dom situation, that does not mean they are at all attracted to children.

Annette Benedetti: 54:51

But I think also I can see how someone might want to regress to certain ages and have that experience that you know I can wrap my well, i can wrap my at this point in my podcast career. I can wrap my mind around a lot, but I think you did do a great job of shedding some light on it. I think also you've got some great tips to if you want to give it a try and see what it's like to starting it, and maybe, if you're afraid to bring it up to your partner, start with this podcast. Absolutely Listen to this podcast with them. You can shut it off right before this section and discuss. You know, hey, this sounds kind of funky and funny. You want to try it out, you know. So is there anything you want to add before we wrap it up?

Miss Chris: 55:48

I don't think so. I think we got most of the points.

Annette Benedetti: 55:52

I'm kind of proud of this. I went into before we started recording this podcast. I said to Miss Chris I'm like, ah, this feels big, this feels really big And there are a lot of different you know, elements to age, play and roles and stuff like that. But I feel like this was a great 101. Yeah, definitely. Thank you for illuminating me and the listeners. I think this is yeah, enlightening and also could give my listeners some some new options to spice up their life. Give it a try. How can my listeners find you?

Miss Chris: 56:33

Okay, i am on Twitter. I'm most active on Twitter. You can find me at Domyn Nertrix There on FetLife, which is a kinky social networking website for BDSM enthusiasts. It's just Miss Chris, no space, and my website is misschriscom, with an extra s M-I-S-S-S-C-H-R-I-Scom. Shoot me an email, contact me through my website if you have any questions or if you need more information, and I'll be happy to answer any questions for you.

Annette Benedetti: 57:12

If you don't have questions, you are not listening And, of course, i will put all of Miss Chris's information in the notes of this podcast. You guys know where you can find me. I am on Facebook and Instagram. She explores life locker room talking shots. You can find me on my personal Instagram at beingbinadetti. Head over to TikTok. Please Join me there. My account's pretty suppressed because of the stuff I like to talk about, but feel free to find me and talk to me there. It's a locker room talk podcast and you will find me here every week with awesome guests like Miss Chris. So thank you for joining me again. I love these conversations Me too. Thanks for having me And until next time, listeners, i will see you in the locker room. Cheers.