Masturbation Monday: 9 Things About Vaginas You Need to Know

This Masturbation Monday is dedicated to getting to know the pussy better! I'm sharing  9 interesting facts about the vagina that will improve your masturbation practice and sex! 

What Annette Benedetti addresses in this episode:

1.    The myth of the loose vagina

2.    The only 2 things that affect a vagina's elasticity and shape

3.     The number of nerves in the clitoris

4.     Scent says everything

5.     How to clean it

6.     What does wetness mean?

7.     How deep is it?

8.     What does its color mean?

9.     The secret to hittin the cl!t

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:25

Do the sex. Welcome to masturbation Monday with me, annette Benedetti, your host for locker room talk and chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Ring loop.

Speaker 1: 1:01

Today's masturbation Monday topic is nine things you need to know about the vagina right now. It only makes sense that I dedicate a masturbation Monday episode to helping us all understand the pussy better. After all, I created masturbation Monday in an effort to help people with vulvas find more pleasure and abundance and create a better life through masturbation and bringing pleasure to their bodies. And this podcast is both for people with vulvas, people with pussies and their partners, even if their partners are penis owners, because we all know the orgasm gap exists and in order for people with vulvas and vaginas pussy owners to start having as many orgasms as our counterparts who have penises, it's gonna take all of us to get on board and get educated and masturbation well. In order to do it well, you've gotta know what you're working with. So if you are a vulva owner and you are wanting to dive into a masturbation practice that's gonna change your life, you need to actually know what you're working with, and it is shocking how little most people know about pussy. So I have nine facts some of which I just learned recently about vaginas that I'm going to share with you in this podcast episode.

Speaker 1: 2:41

I was a little bit inspired by some of the comments I've received from my Sex with Small Penises episode. By and large, the comments that I got from that episode and that I'm still getting from that episode are hugely positive. I'm so, so pleased with my listeners, but there's definitely a handful of folks out there men's, men who like to leave comments about women's loose, smelly vaginas. They just make really awful comments about it. So I am here to help straighten some of the myths out, but also to tell you some new and exciting things.

Speaker 1: 3:24

So, guys, let's grab our coffee. Let's talk about masturbation Cheers. First things first. Let's talk about the concept of loose vaginas and specifically about vaginas getting looser with women who have sex with more men or penis owners. It's a myth. I mean most of us, I feel like most of us know that, but I clearly not all of us do. Look, people, the vaginal canal is very elastic and it definitely can stretch to accommodate penises of all different size, or toys of all different size, or tampons or whatever Obviously, childbirth. But the vagina is a magical thing that very quickly returns to its previous shape. It will not lose shape, change shape or elasticity because of the number of people you have sex with. It is 100% a myth Now, and I feel like it's logical for y'all to get that, because usually the idea of a loose woman comes with the number of men that she's been with, right. However, if she's just with one man and she only has sex with that one guy a whole bunch of times, no one's like, oh, she's going to be loose. It's just kind of silly. It's silly, but it has to be said. So, regardless of I'm going to repeat this again how often you have sex, who you have sex with, what you have sex with dildos, toys included, all shapes and sizes it will not affect the shape, size, strength or appearance of your vagina. Period, no science, medical evidence to support that Fact.

Speaker 1: 5:19

Number two only two things can affect your vagina's elasticity age and childbirth. Age and childbirth. And here's the amazing thing, even with those two things the size. The change in size and elasticity is only slight only slight, and also folks. It's not a big deal, it's not a bad thing. Changes can be good. I'm going to give you a personal example with this one. When I was younger pre-children I was very, very uncomfortably tight and we're gonna get to the tight vagina next and I really had a difficulty enjoying penetrative sex. It took three children I've had three children, folks, vaginal births each of them to have any change in the size of my vagina, and it was ever so slight and it's been enough to make sex for me has actually gotten better. I am more orgasmic because of the changes that took place and I'm so fucking grateful for them. So that's my own little personal story for you. But those are the only two things that affect your vaginas. Elasticity On to the next one the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis. The famously sensitive penis has around 4,000 nerve endings. Right, the clitoris has 8,000. We're twice as sensitive and that's why we talk about the clitoris so much. And of course, now we know the clitoris is a much bigger structure than just a little bean. That shows that everyone attacks, attacks. Don't attack it because it's very sensitive. We are on to number four.

Speaker 1: 7:15

Vaginas are supposed to have a smell, guys, a smell. And this is, of course, the next way. People like to shame women about having scent, and women get very self-conscious about their scent and try to get rid of the scent or make it smell like roses by shoving you know stuff up their vagina. But look, vaginas have scents and if you don't like the scent of a vagina then perhaps you aren't meant to play with a vagina Period. That scent also is going to change throughout your cycle, like as we get closer to menstruation. It might be a little bit more metallic. After misadministration it might be a little more metallic. Also, if our pH bounces one way or the other still within a healthy zone it's going to be maybe sweeter or maybe tangier type of scent. Also, it's very normal for our pH balance to go out of balance and to have bacterial aginosus that's when the pH goes one way or yeast infections it's when the pH balance goes the other ways. I am not a doctor so I'm not going to get into the details, but I will find a vagina specialist to speak to that some point near in the future.

Speaker 1: 8:30

Women should not feel ashamed about having those things take place. They're very, very normal and easy to correct. It doesn't mean you have been having a lot of. It may not even happen because of sex. It can happen because of just being off in general your health or feeling sick. It could be you put some underwear on, that you washed in a new detergent that sets off your pH balance. It has absolutely nothing to do with your sex life. So if someone tries to shame you because of your scent, tell them to fuck right off.

Speaker 1: 9:05

Number five the vagina is a self-cleaning miraculous place. Let it do its thing. Do not get douches to shove up your vagina. It is going to clean itself right. It's normal for it to do that. And that brings me to the discharge. You see, and often times when typically men are being crass about women's body or vagina, they like to talk about the discharge in gross ways that I'm not going to talk about here. But it's actually a sign that your vagina is doing what it needs to do. Sometimes that discharge may be thin. Sometimes it's thick, clear, whitish, and it shows up on your underwear at the end of the day, and it's a good sign. It's a good sign. It's what it's supposed to do, all right.

Speaker 1: 9:54

But this brings me to number six, which is you can get wet without being sexually aroused. A lot of times, especially penis owners I don't hear this from maybe. I have heard it a little bit from female partners A lot of people equate being wet to being aroused, and that is something we need to kind of start setting aside. You can be aroused without getting wet and you can get wet without being aroused. Okay, so it's important, important information. Hormones cause cervical mucus to be excreted daily and the vulva has a high concentration of sweat glands, so our vaginas automatically produce lubrication, especially when they're touched, even when they're not aroused. And this is super important because vaginal wetness should never be considered a signal of consent.

Speaker 1: 10:48

If you are messing around with someone with a vagina and they feel wet, it does not mean they are ready for anything. In particular, you need a verbal okay, wetness could just be wetness. I have. I don't know how many times I've been intimate with someone and they're just like you're so wet and I'm like am I because I am not there? That has happened a lot, and there have been times when I have not been wet and I'm like oh my God, I'm so ready to go. So folks, dial this one in, dial this one in for some long-term knowledge. Okay, number seven vaginas get deeper when we're turned on.

Speaker 1: 11:24

So some of the craft comments that have been left on the small Sex with Small Penises episode has been about women being so deep in it, being like we're just in a very negative way. So here's what I have to say. I have talked about women's vaginas getting aroused and like sometimes they balloon out. They always get deeper and that's how I know I'm doing something right. So I find it really interesting when men come and leave messages in the comments section about women getting deeper or whiter being a negative thing. It tells me I get so, so aroused when I'm with a woman and I feel her inside start to swell and I feel her opening up and I feel that cervix rising up. I'm like, uh-huh, I'm doing something right. So again, if in your mind you are equating women's vaginas getting deep, getting big, opening up, as a dirty, negative thing, that tells me you don't know what you're doing and you should not be playing with a vagina until you educate yourself. So this information should help educate you so you can be a better lover and a better human being.

Speaker 1: 12:44

Next, this one's interesting. I mean I guess I knew it, but I hadn't really thought about it, but vaginas also change color when they are having sex or being played with. When a vulva owner starts to get excited, blood rushes to the area so it blushes. You'd think it's all pinky or dark or even may appear more brownish colored. This is a good sign. Start thinking of that color change, as you're a pussy blushing and it's like oh, I like you, I like you. This feels good. It is not a negative thing and it's not, oh God. I've heard about vaginal bleaching and shit like that. Jesus, lord, make that go away. Wonderful to see pussies, vulva clits of all different colors, shapes and sizes, especially when they swell up and they change color and they get excited about you. It's a good sign and, don't worry, after you're done and you calm down, she goes back to her original tone. That's important to you.

Speaker 1: 14:03

Here's another important one as well, and it taught me a lot about what I needed to do during sex, especially when I'm with someone who has a penis or I'm with someone who's wearing a dildo the size and location of your clitoris, and we're talking about the bean on the outside matters for orgasm. So some women have a really hard time orgasming during sex penetrative sex because perhaps they have an extra small clit. Sometimes it is positioned on their body further away from the vaginal opening, so when they are engaged in penetration the clitoris isn't getting the contact it needs to excite one to an orgasm. There are positions you can use to accommodate this, or you can have toys. I have a little cute heart-shaped clit sucker I love to use while I am having penetrative sex, because then I don't have to do my position based on that sort of connection stimulation during sex. I can just use my toy and be in whatever position I want to, and then if I'm in a position where my being's getting contact with the body or the shaft and it's all the better I can pull it away. So please note that that is a thing. And if your partner with a vulva is having a hard time having an orgasm for penetrative sex, then maybe take some time to get to know that person's clitoris, where it's located, size and figure out how you can stimulate it while penetration is taking place, if that's what they want.

Speaker 1: 15:47

Nine things, guys. We just went through nine things and there are so many different things that we all need to learn about a full of the owner's body. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. This is information that's been very useful to me as I am sort of creating my own masturbation practice. This is also information that is going to be useful to my future partners and you bet, you bet, I'm gonna make sure that this is information that they have, because it's hard to feel sexy and orgasmic if you're worrying about things like how do they feel about the size of my vagina? How do they feel about the scent of my vagina? What does it look like? Is it splotchy? What are they thinking? Is it you know? Again, this is really running parallel to a sex with people with small penises. The fact is, your vagina is perfect the way it is and it's doing what it's supposed to do.

Speaker 1: 16:56

And any type of shaming when it comes to vaginas, when it comes to penises, all of those things Not cool folks and usually comes from a place of ignorance and fear. So we're gonna work on getting rid of those things. That's my goal, and I wanna get rid of shame so we can all be more orgasmic and have pleasure filled lives. So I hope these nine things helped you out and that you'll carry them into your relationships with other people and your relationship with yourself, particularly if you are a woman or a full-vowner. So if you have any questions, comments, thoughts, input.

Speaker 1: 17:37

If you think I got something wrong, I'm here to talk about it, address it in a future episode. So let's chat. You know how to get ahold of me and that A-N-N-E-T-T-E at sheexploreslifecom or scroll down. I always have A my E newsletter. You're gonna wanna sign up for that, because I send a whole bunch of wonderful, sexy information out and B I always have a place for you to leave a comment, a voice note or just email me. So until next time, folks, I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers, ha ha ha. Texting facepalmscom.